RYL Forums

RYL Forums (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/index.php)
-   Veterans Board (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=34)
-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Kahlia1981 18-01-2010 10:14 PM

*hugs everyone*

I feel like **** .... Can this all stop now please ??

*cuddles everyone then disappears into a dark corner to attempt to cry*

risenfromperdition 18-01-2010 10:15 PM

dinner :/ yuck. byes.

Scarletdreamer 18-01-2010 10:16 PM

*holds Kahlia gently* What's up, sweetie? We're here to listen & help when/where we can... feel free to talk about what's going on.

~*Rainbow*~ 18-01-2010 10:43 PM

Hey guys sosrry i havent been around for a while been busy trying to get my life back after i got attacked in Inverness!

Just thought i would check in with everyone to see how you are all doing

*hugs to all *

Scarletdreamer 18-01-2010 11:06 PM

Hiya Rainbow. *hugs back* How you doing? Attacked in Inverness? sounds like you've got a story, there. Hehe.

I just ate supper and now I want to purge... damn bulimic urges... hate feeling full. And it was a healthy supper too. :(

*hides in dark corner with her stuffed ape and tries to go to sleep*

risenfromperdition 19-01-2010 12:41 AM

*cuddles april*
know how you feel

have a sheep with a shirt on

and a horsey

and a cuddly bunny


MammaMia 19-01-2010 02:00 AM

*cuddles everyone*

I will think about talkijng to H, might be over it by tomorrow (as it's now Tuesday here lol).

What's new? I feel like **** and binged. Ugh fat whore that I am shouldn't have.

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 11:24 AM

*cuddles everyone*

Heather, I'm sorry that you know how I feel. :( I kind of guessed that you would by your comment on supper... one sort or another of understanding, anyway. *hugs*

Helen, how you doing this morning? I'm sorry that you binged... but you're hardly a "fat whore" that you posit you are. *gentle hugs* I understand the feeling though... I mini-binged yesterday morning and hated myself for it, but ate okay the rest of the day, so did okay after all, especially with the workout. I miss Vince's coaching though. :(

Classes start today and I am not ready!!!! Not ready at all... I am scared. Thankfully today I only have 2 classes - Health Psych & Advanced Counseling Techniques - but tomorrow is going to be hell. I will be going from 12:30-9pm with only 2 mini-breaks in there of about 30 minutes each. And I totally forgot my tutoring hours this term so I had to call my supervisor yesterday... but forgot that it was a holiday, so she wasn't in her office. Stupid me!! :(

Oh well. I guess I'll survive, heh. I'm just really worried about this semester...

Kahlia1981 19-01-2010 11:56 AM

*hugs everyone*

I told my housemate how I've been doing and he basically said that he expected as much. We went up to the hospital and they sent us home again saying that the crisis team will follow up. I'll believe that when I see it. *sigh* Make it all go away now please ...

*disappears back into a dark corner to cry*

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 12:08 PM

Aw Kahlia... *gentle cuddles* I'm sorry that you're in such a bad place right now. Wish I could do something to make it better. Why didn't the hospital do something then & there, instead of saying the crisis team would follow it up? I totally don't understand that kind of healthcare system, heh. In the States it's totally different. If you go to the ER and say that you're suicidal and are actively planning to die, you're admitted immediately to a ward. At least, that's been my experience all four times. :-X

*more hugs for Kahlia*

Kahlia1981 19-01-2010 12:14 PM

April - we have one psych ward with 11 beds for females, and 11 beds for males (and a wing that used to be full of beds but has been overtaken by crap) and a PICU with 8 beds. There just isn't enough beds to cope with the demand. The psychologist and nurse that interviewed me and also of the "no admission ever necessary" brigade. They told me that I wouldn't get anything out of an admission because I have insight. It really, really, f**king pisses me off.

I'm sick of having to fight for meagre halthcare. It would be so much easier now just to give in and listen to the voices and the dangerous thoughts. *gish*

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 12:24 PM

You can't give in, love. I know how hard it is... trust me, I do... I can't know 100% what it's like inside your head, of course, but I know the suicidal thoughts & temptations intimately... and you are worth more than that. Please keep fighting... I would be ****ing pissed off too about the meagre healthcare... that's ridiculous... I can't believe that they haven't made more room if there's such a huge demand. Is there a different hospital you can go to?

In the meantime... what are you doing to distract yourself from the thoughts?

MammaMia 19-01-2010 12:56 PM

Good luck April :)

Kahlia, I'm so sorry *cuddles tight* Keep trying to fight those voices and bad temptations :(

OMG I have had the worst nightmares ever this morning. I'm still shaking, how pathetic please??

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 02:10 PM

*cuddles Helen* Nightmares are awful things... it's not pathetic to be shaking from one still - they can be utterly terrifying. I hope that you feel better soon.

Just went to Walmart to pick up a few things, totally forgot my deodorant!!, which was the main reason I was going there... and then on the way home the EPC light came on in my car (VW Jetta) - "electronic power control" which means that I was losing control to the engine. NOT GOOD. I called my dad to see if he could take me to uni, because even though it's only about a mile & a half to there, I don't want to either drive a non-100%-functioning vehicle, or walk with a lot of books & a purse in snowy weather.

Eating my "second breakfast" now... cereal. Ugh. It's tasty but I want to purge. Of course. :(

MammaMia 19-01-2010 03:11 PM

Nightmares are definately evil. I've calmed down since then. Am uspet about something else now, think I need to dicuss it with my mum though. Since it concerns her anyway...

Eeek, doesn't sound good about your car, hope you can get it fixed/looked out without it costing too much =( Try not to purge sweetheart, it's not worth it. I know how hard it is.

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 04:04 PM

I'm at uni now, trying to remember my schedule... the online schedule-y thing is down so I can't look it up there so I'm kind of adrift, which is really dumb of me. I think I have Health Psych at 1pm then Advanced Counseling Techniques at 2:30pm, but I can't remember... AHHH!!!! I swear, the ECT did my brain in...

I didn't purge... then. Or yet. I'm really hungry right now & am considering getting some lunch, but I don't know if I will be able to keep it down, so tempting to purge!! :crying:

I hope that I can get my car fixed as well...

MammaMia 19-01-2010 04:12 PM

*cuddles* Sounds like today really isnt your day so far sweet.

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 04:20 PM

It really isn't. But I did get my schedule, so that's a good thing... my dad wrote it down and so now I have a copy... but I don't know my tutoring hours!! so that's really rubbish as I am pretty sure I'm supposed to tutor tomorrow & I don't know what time or what room I'm supposed to be in!!

Tomorrow's going to be a rough day - I will be going going going from 12:30pm until 9pmish with classes... am not looking forward to that. :( Night classes are not my thing.

I feel so ****.

MammaMia 19-01-2010 04:25 PM

*cuddles tight* Sorry it's not more.

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 04:28 PM

*cuddles back* It's okay... nice to have some support. :) I'm glad I came back to this site.

How are you? feeling **** too?

MammaMia 19-01-2010 06:25 PM

Sorry, only just seen this. I feel shittier than ever. :S

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 08:52 PM

It's okay, Helen, don't worry. *cuddles* I had to head off to class anyway... whew, the day's over & as soon as Jarrod comes to pick me up I can go home. I'm glad... ugh. I almost had an anxiety attack in my health psych class... I don't know why, probably because it sounds so difficult!!

What's going on?

And where on earth is everyone else? lol... :)

MammaMia 19-01-2010 08:59 PM

*cuddles* Time flies when you're having fun :) Anxiety attacks suck though :(

I feel so invisable...

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 09:07 PM

I wasn't really having fun... heh... but at least the classes went pretty fast. Anxiety attacks do suck though, that's for sure.

Why do you feel invisible? want to talk about anything? *hugs*

SoMuchMore 19-01-2010 09:09 PM

*hugs everyone* Tuesdays suck for school... short break then class for another 6 hours.

I'll reply properly later, just wanted to pop in and say hi! Hope everyone is alright.

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 09:11 PM

Aw Laura, class for 6 hours!! Which class(es)?

*feels like *****


MammaMia 19-01-2010 09:24 PM

*cuddles everyone and curls up*

~*Rainbow*~ 19-01-2010 09:27 PM

Scarletdreamer - yeah i was stabbed in Inverness for being in the wrong place at the wrong time jsut tryng to get my life back on track after in happened

MammaMia 19-01-2010 09:56 PM

Jesus Gil :(

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 10:06 PM

Wow, Gil (is it okay if I call you that?). That's really awful. I thought for a moment the way you said it, that you were joking, although I'm not quite sure why I thought that. Heh. Hope you're doing a bit better each day.

*cuddles Helen back* How old are you? Just wondering... :)

I'm feeling shitty. Again. Crampy, cranky, & whilst I was in the shower my husband brought up the fact that the job I get is going to need to be at least as good as his is before he can go to college. I think I need to vent about this...

*curls up in a dark corner in denial tent*

MammaMia 19-01-2010 10:44 PM

I'm 19 heh, nearly 20

*curls up in denial tent*

Scarletdreamer 19-01-2010 11:09 PM

Ah cool, thought you were older for some reason. I'm 21 nearly 22. :)

Just got off WoW, which was a nice escape from reality for a bit... but now back to reality. Ugh. And it's suppertime, which means I'm going to want to purge afterwards...

*sigh* And so it goes.

Imaginary_friend 20-01-2010 12:09 AM

i only ever come in here to curl up in a corner and cry. guess that's what it's here for huh? *grabs a pillow, duvet and teddy and snuggles down* this is not my day and its only 00:09. oh dear

BeautifulDirtyRich 20-01-2010 12:17 AM

Hi, I'm new here nice to meet you all.
My name is jennifer (or Jen)

[Awakening] 20-01-2010 02:06 AM

Hi everyone, sorry i haven't been around for a bit. And welcome again Jen!

How you all doing?

I'm quite tired of living atm, feels like everything is crumbling :-/

*cuddles and love to all* x x x

SoMuchMore 20-01-2010 07:14 AM

*cuddles kahlia* i echo what everyone else has said about fighting the urges/temptations. Hope you are alright.

*hugs helen* did u talk to ur mom? if u did, hope things went okay.

*hugs april* Sorry about ur car, that really sucks. Glad ur classes went by fast, thats always a plus. And yeah, i had a 2 hour science reporting and writing class and then a 4 hour publication design class.

*hugs gil* omg.. i dont even know what to say.

*hugs imaginary* you can come in here and curl up anytime. *hands over some blankets*

Hi jen! nice to meet you.

*hugs jocelyn (?)* - i think thats ur name - Im sorry things feel like they are crumbling. Stay strong hun.

My first day was kinda sucky. Mainly because i am scared of my classes.. and the job i got. Stupid social anxiety. I wish i could cut that part out of me.

~*Rainbow*~ 20-01-2010 08:28 AM

yeah April its cool to call me Gil,

sorry Hells i did try and tell people but i was so scared because i still thought at that point it was my fault!

*hugs laura* i dont think there is anything you can say - its not the easiest thing to reply to

*hugs jocelyn*
*hugs Jen* welcome welcome
*hugs imaginary* - *hands New Mr Monkey over* He'll help - he helped Hells

Kahlia1981 20-01-2010 09:43 AM

*cuddles everyone*

I can't hang around long as I can't think straight. Damn hospital and crisis team are as useless as ever. I just want to disappear into nothingness. My housemate has actually called the Minister for Health to place a complaint at that level about the MI treatment (or lack of treatment) through Qld Health. Meh.

*disappears into a dark corner to cry*

Imaginary_friend 20-01-2010 10:59 AM

*cuddles everyone*
hi jen :)
*cuddles New Mr Monkey* thank you. i want to sleep for a very very long time...

Scarletdreamer 20-01-2010 11:23 AM

Ooh, lots of posts... hello hello & welcome, Jen. *hugs* How are you doing?

*hugs Imaginary* Always fine to come in to have a bit of a cry or cuddle. :) That's what we're here for. What's up that's making your day so bad?

Gil, how're you? *hugs*

*cuddles Laura* I understand about the social anxiety... I think that was why I was so anxious in my health psych class - there are only 5 other people in it, so it's really small & intimate, and that scares me. :-X I like the prof & the other students are okay... I dunno. I'm just an anxious person I guess. :-/

That's insane, having a 4 hour class!! I have a 3 hour one tonight but that's a night class... then a 2 hour lab early this afternoon for health psych, but still!! That sucks. Are they at least interesting classes?

*cuddles Kahlia* I'm so glad that your housemate is trying to help, on some level - especially the highest. Maybe eventually there will be better care... and I do hope that you can make it through this rough time. Is this a "bigger" rough spot than you are accustomed to? or do you get seriously suicidal frequently? Sorry if that sounds offensive, not meant to be so. :-X

*huggles Joc* How're you, love? Long time no see, in here at least. What's been happening? how've you been feeling?

I'm doing okayish... crampy and bloaty feeling, ugh. I'm really tired too, just got up half an hour ago. I has a kitty in my lap again - anyone want kitty snuggles? :D He's very friendly.

*hides in a dark corner away from life*

Imaginary_friend 20-01-2010 12:30 PM

*cuddles scarletdreamer* kitty cuddles sounds awesome :) i miss my sister's guinea pigs - they're good for hugs too :(

i've just been having a really bad day..starting at about 1030 last night. but i've handed in 2 essays so i guess that's good. i just wanna go out and get really drunk tbh. and it's only lunchtime. :s hmm...

*snuggles down for a good sleep*

much love to everyone :)

Absynnthe 20-01-2010 12:33 PM

Had to fill in some stupid test/assessment thing for a mental health appointment. Symptoms list. Whoop.

And another one for a eating disorder clinic thing.


Love to all, hope everyone's okay. I'd reply, but finding it hard to stay in the room. Switching alot.


[Awakening] 20-01-2010 12:38 PM

*hugs Kahlia* stay strong hon, keeping fighting for the support that you deserve, I'm sorry you're feeling so hopeless but this feeling willl fade eventually... just hold on sweetie. It sounds like your flat mate is very caring, keep talking to people x x x

Hi imaginary friend! *hugs* im sorry you want to disappear. Have you got anyone to hold on to? any support? x x

Hi April! Oo Id love a kitty cuddle! I'm so tempted to get a dog but i know that would be impulsive and prob not the best idea right now :-/ hmph! *cuddles back* Are u still feeling tired? I am I had some sleeping pills last night and I'm so zonked still! I'm sorry ur feeling bloaty and i hate cramps they're so painful!

I feel sick.. I'm worried, and tired and triggered :(

*hugs to everyone* anyone making tea? I could really do with some :P x x x

[Awakening] 20-01-2010 12:42 PM

Hi Franz! Weldone for form filling! Did u find that emotional hard to do? You have anything nice planned for today?

*hugs imaginary* Weldone for handing in two assignments, thats really good! Whats making you want to drink? can u do anything to distract yourself? see a friend or something? x x

Scarletdreamer 20-01-2010 12:43 PM

*hugs Imaginary* Sorry that your day is so rough... heh, lunchtime, here it's breakfasttime, lol. Funny timezone differences. :P Erm anyway, here's teh kitty (his name is Daniel) - *hands over cuddly kitty* Be careful, he's gone a bit wild in the past few minutes so he might dash about the ward a bit. What year are you in uni? what are you majoring in?

Franz!! *tackle hugs* I'm sorry to hear that you're not doing too well, but I hope that you feel better soon & get the help that you need. Aw, switching is bad... hope that today goes better than yesterday. I miss you and your cuddles. :)

*cuddles everyone*

Scarletdreamer 20-01-2010 12:48 PM

*cuddles Jocelyn* I'm sorry that your girlfriend is upsetting you... a pro-ED or such type of forum, I take it? That's not good... I used to be into that :o but I've stopped as I know intellectually it's wrong and very very harmful. Have you talked with her about it? because communication is one of the very main keys for a good sustained relationship.

Rants are fine... *holds you gently* Things will be okay, I just don't know when or how. How are you doing now? besides triggered... is there anything I can do to help?

And yeh I'm still tired... had a really funky dream last night too. And when my husband wakes up I keep thinking it's the weekend... so weird & disoriented.

I might get to hang out with my bestie sometime this morning before I go to my first class... that would make me happy. She's an awesome person. :) I don't know what we'd do but we'd figure out something...

I feel like ****... still. Triggered, want to purge what little I just ate, and am SO ****ING SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS.

Sorry, ranty myself. :o


Absynnthe 20-01-2010 12:57 PM

*giggles and huggles back* ILY April! <3

And fankoo Joc. :) It wasn't thrilling to do, but I managed. :) <3

[Awakening] 20-01-2010 12:57 PM

ERRR IM SO FRUSTRATED I dont do this not open thing! Im so sick with worry!

I feel really achey and tired.

*hugs* Im sorry your feeling like this. Try to think rationally, i know its virtually impossible but u dont need to purge sweetie. Remind yourself that what uv eaten is nothing really in the grand scheme of things x
Its great that ur seeing ur friend! When u meeting her? I hope u have a lovely time April x x x x

*curls up and tries to forget this living thing*

MammaMia 20-01-2010 01:20 PM

Woah, lots and lots of posts *cuddles everyone and welcomes new people*

Scarletdreamer 20-01-2010 01:33 PM

*cuddles Helen* How're you doing this morning?

*hugs Jocelyn* Thanks for the support... I know I don't need to purge & I didn't, it's just so freaking hard!!! But I know that a lot of you understand that... *sigh* Wish that no one had to go through what I go through, you know? but at the same time, I'm glad that I have support.

I feel so fat. So undesirable. So gross. :crying:

It's 8:30am and I'm on campus and will be for a looong time... just want to go home & sleep!!! :(

*huggles Franz* :P

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:01 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.