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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 10-01-2010 06:05 AM

*cuddles tight*

I'm feeling pretty ****. I should be asleep, it's just gone 6am after all :(

SoMuchMore 10-01-2010 06:12 AM

*cuddles* o man, 6am... its just after midnight here... hope you get some sleep hun. I hate when i don't sleep.

MammaMia 10-01-2010 06:14 AM

I think I'm numb :/
Anyway going to try sleep. :(

SoMuchMore 10-01-2010 06:19 AM

*gives some blankets for sleeping*
hope u fall asleep and feel better, or at least less numb, when u wake up

MammaMia 10-01-2010 01:48 PM

I fell asleep eventually. Feeling really ill today :(

lovewilltearusapart 11-01-2010 02:42 AM

Urges Urges Urges
Anxiety Anxiety Anxiety
Bolk Bolk Bolk

SoMuchMore 11-01-2010 04:59 AM

kind of a quiet day in the ward... hope everyone is alright

helen - glad you got to sleep.. so sorry that you feel sick now. Maybe if u are able to sleep more u will feel better. Hope that you got more sleep tonight.

*hugs lovewilltearusapart* you ok? keep fighting those urges.

Packing for tomorrow.. back to my apartment :-)

MammaMia 11-01-2010 09:41 AM

Slept much better last night, well more this morning. Writing an email must have really helped and an immense amount of crying too :S Can we fast forward to when this stuipd **** goes away please? Even if it is pretty much all my fault :(

downnunder80 11-01-2010 10:15 AM

im ok, just sat holding and contemplating, just wondering why that this "thing" is so alluring, why this object takes up so much energy and life out of me. Have really struggled this last week, failed miserably so many times, need help, but not know where to go. *continues to cry in corner*

zowie 11-01-2010 05:40 PM

I hope you're all looking after the ward (and each other !!)

Who's still around from the old lot (AKA. When I was always in here)? I miss you all!!

Love love love love love xxxxx

MammaMia 11-01-2010 05:44 PM

I'm still here Arwen *jumps on you and gives you a huge hug* Come hid in the denial tent with me?? :)

*cuddles for everyone else*

zowie 11-01-2010 05:59 PM

:):) Hiiii Helen! *Massive hugs* I'll gladly hide in the denial tent with you...Denial is what I do best at the mo! I've got cookies and cocoa to keep us warm :D xxxxxx

MammaMia 11-01-2010 05:59 PM

Sounds lovely *massive hugs and chomps on a cookie*
Denial is fantastic when things are hard, even if it does make it worse in a way.
*curls up and cries*

zowie 11-01-2010 06:04 PM

*Offers tissues*
I'm worried I might be a bit too deep in denial. But sometimes it can help...If only for a short while.
What's the matter sweetness?

MammaMia 11-01-2010 06:08 PM

*takes tissues*
Thank you.
If you think you're too deep in denial, could you maybe try open up, even just a little bit?
So much is wrong, I just want it to stop and go away.
Or least to calm down to a tolerable level.

zowie 11-01-2010 06:16 PM

I should open up...But not just now. I don't think I'm ready.
If you can't make the bad things stop or go away, why don't you stop for a while and just do nice things for yourself? Just do whatever you find relaxing...that might help you calm down a bit. And then hopefully things wont seem so hard.
*More hugs* xxx

MammaMia 11-01-2010 06:25 PM

Well I definately say to do it when you're ready, hopefully that'll be soon. I know I should stop and try take care of me, but I can't. People need me. Aha :( Plus mum's is making me do chores etc whilst I have no job >_> Everything's so hard right now. Trying to look after me though. Really I am.

Kahlia1981 11-01-2010 09:50 PM

Arwen: *jumps up from the dark corner and gives you a big hug* Welcome back.

Helen: *hugs you tightly* Wish I had some words to offer you. I hope you got some more sleep/are getting some more sleep.

*hugs everyone*

I would really like to get off this world for a bit. I don't really care where to, I just want out. I gave my knife to my housemate the other day to hide it for me because I knew I was close to using it .... I fell asleep with it in my hand and have a couple of scratches close to my eye, at which point I realised things were going too far ... Now I want the knife back ... *sigh* Can it all end now please ??

shadowedsoul 11-01-2010 10:18 PM

fu*ksake why when thing are going right, it all falls apart. i give up, *curls up in corner and crys.*

MammaMia 11-01-2010 10:26 PM

**** :/

Scarletdreamer 12-01-2010 01:36 AM

Well, I'm home now, on my familiar computer, so I can do what I want to do when I want to do it. The drive home was a nightmare, as we ran into a snowstorm halfway home and were pretty much in it for about 150-200 miles. >_< I'm sat here with my cat on my lap... he missed us so much and I missed him!! He's so cute... *wonders if anyone else wants kitty snuggles?*

Sorry to hear you all aren't doing too well... things with me are really quite UP and DOWN and UP and DOWN and DOWN and DOWN and UP... you get the picture. It's very unpleasant. :(

*cuddles everyone*

MammaMia 12-01-2010 01:58 AM

*cuddles everyoen*

Kahlia1981 12-01-2010 03:04 AM

*cuddles everyone*

MammaMia 12-01-2010 03:36 AM

*clings to Kahlia*

Kahlia1981 12-01-2010 08:38 AM

*holds tight to Helen*

MammaMia 12-01-2010 08:58 AM

*holds on tight*

Things are so epically bad. My best friend attempted suicide yesterday, still not looking good :'(

Scarletdreamer 12-01-2010 11:55 AM

Aw Helen, I'm so sorry to hear that. *holds tight* How are you doing? is there anything we can do to help?

Kahlia *huggles* how are you this morning/night/afternoon? (lol) Hopefully a bit better than you were awhile ago. Have been trying to keep up with this thread as you all mean a lot to me but I don't remember everything that happened since I last posted (not last night, I mean at Vince's house).

How is everyone else? *cuddles*

I don't feel too great. My stomach is upset from the fried chicken sandwich I had last night for supper, I think - I just started eating meat again a few weeks ago and I'm still not used to the fried bit... don't eat much fried stuff AT ALL... so yeah. >_<

My NP & therapist still haven't responded to pretty much what was an SOS call for help a few days ago. :( I feel really left out and forgotten about but a friend reminded me that they are only human too. :-\ True, but I'm kind of one of their responsibilities, ESPECIALLY on a trip. :(

Oh well.

*needs hugs*

MammaMia 12-01-2010 02:58 PM

Make it all stop? :( Last I heard was that she's stable, in intensive care but not breathing for herself

[Awakening] 12-01-2010 05:24 PM

Hi guys, I miss you all! *hugs all round*

I'm feeling a little better. Court was fine, i have an order saying that my son stays with his dad for the next and i get as much supervised contact with him as i want, then back to court to hopefully go back to normal.

I still feel very numb and want to laze about at home all day though, but on the whole, much better.

Is your tummy any better now April?

Oh MammaMia (sorry i cant remember your name) that sounds so awful. How are you feeling? Try and keep yourself well x

How you doing Kahlia?


MammaMia 12-01-2010 05:27 PM

Call me Helen/Hells :)

Feeling utterly exhausted, ****, emotional, scared, worried...

PrincessVegeta_x 12-01-2010 05:36 PM

Can I come in? Having such a bad day. Seems like everybody's ganging up on me.

MammaMia 12-01-2010 05:48 PM

Of course Katie *squishes*

PrincessVegeta_x 12-01-2010 05:56 PM

Thanks. Sorry to hear about your friend, I hope she's ok and that you're ok.

This person on here is making my life hell at the moment, post-reporting every post I write. Don't be surprised if THIS post disappears soon! I didn't mean to write what I did, and it was actually not breaking any rules... she just took it too literally. She's making me feel like I have to leave RYL and I can't do that...

MammaMia 12-01-2010 05:57 PM

You should speak the mods about it if you haven't yet :(

PrincessVegeta_x 12-01-2010 05:59 PM

Yeah, I think I will. I was hoping it would sort itself out but it's obviously not going to.

MammaMia 12-01-2010 06:16 PM

Best thing to do hun xx

MammaMia 12-01-2010 09:17 PM

She's woken up =D

SoMuchMore 12-01-2010 09:39 PM

*hugs helen* I'm so glad that she woke up!

*hugs april* hope your stomach feels better soon and that your therapist gets back to you. It sucks when it feels like you cant really reach out to your professional support.

*hugs scarletwhore* glad that court went okay and you are feeling better.

I'm back at school... but things are shitty... I don't know if i'm over thinking things or my worrying is justified... but between 2 friend situations and stuff that is going on with my family... i don't know...

MammaMia 12-01-2010 09:42 PM

Laura, massssssssive hugs. I know how you feel =[

This doesn't make everything okay. The nightmare is only beginning really. Plus still worrying about my other best friend. I still can't cope with all this.

[Awakening] 12-01-2010 11:49 PM

Helen thats brilliant! Have you heard anything more? I'm sorry your feeling so bad, are u feeling any better now? Have you got any nice plans for tomorrow?

Kaytee, welcome! Please make sure u talk to the mods about this, it isnt fair on you. I hope your ok *offers friendly hug and hot chocolate*

*cuddles Laura* whats going on sweetie? Do you know whats making you feel this way?

x x x

Kahlia1981 13-01-2010 12:05 AM

*hugs everyone*

It's just after 10am and I really want to go back to bed. I had a seriously bad night - kept hearing someone calling my name and asking me if I was there and so forth. Meh. Man, I just want out. :(

*retreats to a dark corner and starts crying*

[Awakening] 13-01-2010 12:19 AM

*hugs Kahlia and wipes tears* that must be so scary. you poor sweetheat. have u got school or any plans for today? did u manage to get much sleep? x

Woop, I've been findi ng it hard to fall asleep recently but i think i'mabout to :D lovr and cuddles to all on the ward x x x

SoMuchMore 13-01-2010 02:20 AM

*cuddles helen*

*hugs kahlia* o man that sounds horrible. Hope you manage to get some sleep...

*hugs scarlett whore* Glad to hear you are getting some sleep.

There is a lot going on. I have 2 friends are are threatening to do stuff if things dont turn around and go thier way, which just makes me kinda worried. And then i have a situation with my dad that i'm really worried about that i cant really talk about right now/on here (maybe?... i havent decided if i should even mention it to anyone) *sigh*

... it would be so much easier to just disappear

MammaMia 13-01-2010 10:12 AM

*hugs everyone*

Scarlett, I've not heard anymore. But I have texted her aunt/friend (depending on who's visitng at the moment the other one has Gemma's phone lol), but no reply back yet. Bit worried :S I'm still feeling quite ****. Bad person that I am lol. I did have plans for today, but they've just got cancelled :S Hurray, another day alone with my emotions >_> Although I am seeing my Dad tonight, so I can't complain too much. That's going to be a barrel of laughs, as he does usually ask how my best friends and other friends are lol. I did manage to sleep haha, managed to sleep from about 11pm :) Got woken up by a text about 8.30ish, then woke up 9.30am & now (well 10am) :)

Laura, don't let your friends do that to you. Do what's best for you and if that's not going their way, then so be it. They sound like they're not of rational mind and maybe not intending to blackmail you like that. I don't know though. *big cuddles*

Kahlia, hope you're feeling a little better?? *massive cuddles*

Kahlia1981 13-01-2010 12:09 PM

*cuddles tightly to Helen, Laura and Jocelyn*

I'm about to head to bed (it's just after 10pm here) but I'm worried that the pain in my ankle is going to keep me awake. :( I was sitting normally in my computer chair an hour or so ago when I turned the chair around a little and there was an audible snapping noise from the region of my achilles tendon. It hasn't snapped but there's a lot of pain and a little red mark on the back of my ankle. *sigh* I think I have way more than my fair share of defective body parts .... I think I was put together on the scrap heap leftovers.

I really hope I don't start hearing things again ...

*disappears into a dark corner with bear (my favourite teddybear) and a blanket*

MammaMia 13-01-2010 12:41 PM

Sounds like you've twisted your ankle honey or something, maybe get it checked in the morning and take two painkillers before bed?? *hugs tight* Am praying the voices leave you alone. >_>

Should I be worried that I haven't had a text back today about my best friend. I mean, there probably hasn't been any change (a good thing I think) but they could least tell me that? I'm wondering if her aunt & friend are both up there, so their phones will be off :S

Absynnthe 13-01-2010 01:08 PM

Just dropping by to let everyone know I'm still alive. :)

Although my guitarist may not be in a minute if he keeps blowing on my face.

Not feeling great, in a bad place at the moment mentally. LeSigh. That's why I'm having a hard time coming online. I've been working on memorial stuff and all sorts of crap to distract myself.

Love to everyone here.

Franz xxx

MammaMia 13-01-2010 01:59 PM

*major cuddles*

Scarletdreamer 13-01-2010 10:19 PM

Eugh, my "upset stomach" turned into some sort of stomach bug/food poisoning/reaction to stress... threw up yesterday for the first time in 17 years!! It wasn't as traumatic as I thought it'd be though (I'm an emetophobe)... but still wasn't pleasant. (D'oh!! lol...)

So I've been taking it really easy, sleeping a lot, and eating saltines and drinking nondiet ginger ale and Sprite. Woohoo. I'm feeling better today than yesterday but still don't feel the best. Am pretty anxious at the mo.

*cuddles everyone*

Wish I could make it all better for you all... :(

Kahlia1981 14-01-2010 09:13 AM

*cuddles everyone*

My ankle is still bad - I can barely put any weight through my foot. I'm going to the doctors surgery tomorrow morning to see my tdoc so I'm going to put in a request to get my ankle checked while I'm there. The foot has some weird swelling patterns on it ... It's been in a compression bandage for most of the day. Meh.

*walks around the ward offering cuddles to everyone she sees and then disappears into a dark corner*

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