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MammaMia 28-07-2009 08:31 PM

*offers hugs to all*

Seems we've been very very busy :)

Ugh. Sorest ear ever, I have (possibly infected) a sore or something, having my hearing aids on it hasn't helped (Y) Damm you ear!!! Whcih is the last thing I need on top of everything else at the moment..

zowie 28-07-2009 09:43 PM

Yawn. Early night tonight methinks.
Night night.
xxx

Kahlia1981 28-07-2009 09:48 PM

*hugs all*

I made the mistake of falling asleep without putting my sling back on and now my shoulder is killing me.

*hugs all even those hiding in the smoking shelter or the denial tent*
(By the way, has anyone seen Puppy SinClair lately?")

Kahlia1981 29-07-2009 03:03 AM

my friend who was supposed to come and visit me today has just informed me that she can't find the time today and wants to come and visit me on Friday. In some ways Fridays is better because I don't have to go to Uni but I still feel hurt and let down. Am I wrong to feel this way? I realise she is a busy girl but still...

Just to let everyone know Nicole [mouse in darkness] is in hospital. Hopefully she will be okay soon and be back with us on the board. I'm sure she would appreciate some hugs if anybody has any to spare.

Speaking of hugs I could do with some myself.

SoMuchMore 29-07-2009 05:20 AM

*hugs Kahlia* You're not wrong to feel like that. I always feel bad when plans are canceled. Think positive tho, It's good that she is visiting you soon!

I don't kno Nicole, but I hope that she will be okay. *hugs Nicole*

My anxiety levels have not gone down at all. I tried to talk to boyfriend about it, and he says he understands and all, but idk. He is always very logical about things... and i'm not always logical.

zowie 29-07-2009 01:09 PM

*Hugs Kahlia* It's understandable you feel that way, but at least she's coming to visit you soon :) Hope your shoulder doesn't hurt too much!

*Whistles for Puppy Sinclair*

*Hugs Nicole* (If anyone can pass my hugs on?) Hope you feel better soon sweetie.

*Hugs fallinstar* Is there anything you can do to calm down the anxiety? I hope talking to your boyfriend helps, sometimes a logical approach can make it seem easier.

---

I'm going to a friend's house today, leaving the house in about an hour. I'm looking forward to it - Spending the day with people I love :)

Hope everyone has a good day.
xXx

youngatheart 29-07-2009 01:28 PM

Hope you have a fantastic day Zowie ( sorry dont know anyones names, not been around for ages)
Kahlia, I hate being let down too but at least you have somehting to look forward to, hope you enjoy it :)
Hugs to Nicole
And to you fallinstar

CrazyHayley 29-07-2009 01:59 PM

*huggles Helen* I've an infected ear too! Been to the doctors this morning and I'm now on my 3rd course of antibiotics. Lets hope these ones work or I'm worried my ear will fall off! lol Better get your ear checked sweetie, you don't want to be getting more ill than you already have been.

*huggles Arwen* I hope the early night did you good and that your day with your friend goes well.

*gently huggles Kahlia* ooh, your poor shoulder, I hope it's easing up for you if you've put it back into your sling. Its ok to feel disapointed, but focus on the fact that they've postponed and quickly reshceduled. Its not just like a 'friend' who cancels last minute and then you don't hear from again in weeks. I'm sure you'll have a fab time on friday. Ooh, and I don't know Nicole, but if you could pass on some huggles to her....*huggles Nicole via Kahila*

*huggles Fallinstar* anxieties crap sin't it?! Have you tried any meds or natural remedies to help at all? Rescue remedy (a bach flower remedy) helps me, along with cammomile tea....oh and the 60mg of prozac too! Anyhoo, glad you're able to talk to your boyfriend about it and I hope things improve for you soon.

*huggles crystalheart* you came in offerring hugs but haven't said if you needed any yourself...though what has need got to do with it?! Oh though, we are in the psych ward, so...yeah....*huggles*

hmm...so then, me, I'm ok I guess, still an Incarnated angel and that is helping me to contradict and fight off the negative thoughts that are sometimes trying to worm their way back in....but I think that's because I had a disturbed nights sleep followed by an early morning for the docotrs, which has done my M.E. no favours and my mood always dips when I'm sufferring with more than my usual dose of symptoms. Anyhoo, was typing this whislt waiting for my tesco home delivery shop, but just had a phonecall that my credit card won't go through so they've cancelled the order!!! What I don't get, is that I have a pre-paid credit card, so I know for a fact that the funds are on there!!! So now I've hardly got any food or drink.....maybe thats a good thing, but I like to have the choice on whether to restrict or binge, I don't like things being beyond my control. Hmmm.....

*goes out to smoking shelter*

[Fog] 29-07-2009 02:05 PM

Hayley - so glad to hear you so positive, I hope the feeling lasts and I'm very pleased for you!

Helen - hope your ear gets better soon, doesn't sound nice. How have things been going for you lately?

Kahlia - it's not wrong to feel that way, it's hard not to feel let down, but just remember that your friend has rearranged it so it's just that she is busy, so don't worry. Hope your shoulder feels better today. Lots of hugs for you and for Nicole *Hug hug hug hug hug*

FallinStar - anxiety is so horrible, sorry to hear that it's so bad at the moment. I can't really suggest much because I really struggle with anxiety but try to keep yourself distracted, keep rationalising things so they don't get out of proportion and keep talking about what's going on in your head. Hope it gets better soon.

zowie - hope you have a great day!

***

I'm feeling ok today. This morning I went out for an hour long bike ride which made me feel good. Even though I know I shouldn't because I was doing it to burn off calories and I really don't want to relapse but it's just so hard... Soon I'll be going off for family therapy, just me and my boyfriend today plus the hoards of mental health people. I'm sure it'll go fine but it always makes me so anxious. For some reason the psychologist loves to talk about my OCD in particular and it really freaks me out having to talk about it and discussing what would happen if I didn't do my compulsions etc... Plus an old school friend wants to meet up tomorrow but he doesn't know any of my problems and I don't think I'm up to it but I don't want to be rude... And I have a job interview this week for an amazing job but I don't know if I can manage it and be reliable... Urgh. Anyway hope you all have a lovely day! Hugs to all xxx

Eclectica 29-07-2009 03:34 PM

Hey all, sorry for not being around and posting much.

I'm leaving RYL for good. It's not helping.

Take care you all.

MammaMia 29-07-2009 04:40 PM

*spreads hugs*

Thanks Hayley & Hannah, I'm sure my ear will be better soon. It seems to be healing already. Haven't had my hearing aid in it for nearly 24 hours straight now, feels odd without it :( Doesn't seem to hurt so much and seems to have disappeared already :S (it was a sore, but with a nasty scab on top) but we'll see what my mum says later when she puts more cream in it for me, I'd do it myself, but I can't see my ear can I :P

Having a bad day, recovering from a thing or two last night. Ended up hurting two people who I love dearly so very badly :( They're okay with me now, just EVEN more worried :/

Kahlia1981 29-07-2009 11:51 PM

*hugs all*

Nicole says thank you to everyone who has left her hugs.

My flatmate told me that he could tell I'd lost heaps of weight just by putting my sling back on me this morning. I need to buy myself a tape measure so I can take measurements when the scales tell me otherwise, so I can remind myself that I'm building muscle, not gaining fat... which th ED part of my brain keeps telling me.

*leaves hugs for anyone who needs them*

zowie 30-07-2009 12:16 AM

*Hugs Kat* If RYL isn't helping, leaving is a good idea. I'll miss you though :( xxx

MammaMia 30-07-2009 12:26 AM

*hugs Kahlia*

Argh not doing well at all. Looks like I am going to have to beg for help. Yay!!!

SoMuchMore 30-07-2009 12:53 AM

*hugs MammaMia* I hope you are doing better soon. Stay strong.

MammaMia 30-07-2009 01:02 AM

Struggling to stay strong. I'm so not strong at the moment. *sighs*

Kahlia1981 30-07-2009 01:06 AM

I have two hours to go until I have to leave the house and am starting to get nervous. I'm going to see my Doctor about upping my medication. Then I have to catch the bus out to University. Wish me luck.

*hugs Helen* ~ it's hard to stay strong sometimes Sweetie but you can fight this

MammaMia 30-07-2009 04:41 AM

Good luck, hope it went well sweetie, I think you'll be at uni by now ^_^

PapaBear 30-07-2009 08:38 AM

popping in quick to say i'm headed to hospital, don't know when i'll be back on. take care everyone, i love you all!!

*big Papa Bear hugs for everyone*

Kahlia1981 30-07-2009 11:09 AM

my uni lecture today got cancelled. Poot.

CrazyHayley 30-07-2009 11:58 AM

Hey all, just popping in to say a quick hello before I'm off to therapy. This week we're meant to start working on my 'other issues' such as my OCD.... I like my OCD, I wouldn't even say its full blown, I've only ever been diagnosed with OCD tendancies as it seems I have the compulsions without the obsessive thoughts...hmmm....anyway, doing my compulsions reduces my anxiety, don't take away my control and organisation!!!! Oh well. Fingers crossed it'll go ok.

*huggles to all* Sorry but not time to do individual responses.

Kahlia1981 30-07-2009 02:00 PM

I think i'm going to go and hide in the denia tent for a while

MammaMia 30-07-2009 03:11 PM

Yay a vistor at last :P I'm in the denial tent as always :P

zowie 30-07-2009 03:54 PM

I have been discharged from the CMHT and after this week I will be meds free.
:)

MammaMia 30-07-2009 07:48 PM

Awesome news Arwen :]

youngatheart 30-07-2009 08:25 PM

Hayley thanks for the hugs. I did pop in to ask for some but then forgot to so thanksxx
and hugs to everyonexx

CrazyHayley 30-07-2009 08:34 PM

Therapy went well. She liked my organised timetable of how I plan my days :) Its helpful to pace my M.E. and keeping my M.E stable is crucial to my moods, so I'm allowed it, just with a little more flexibility which we'll work on my thought patterns and prioritising things. As for my OCD tendancies with cleaning and things matching etc, I told her I was quite happy the way I am and its not hurting anyone and because I don't have the obsessive thoughts, I'm allowed to keep those tendancies for a while too! Yay!!

*HAPPY GROUP HUGGLE!!!*

*goes out to smoking shelter*

Kahlia1981 30-07-2009 09:48 PM

*sneaks out og the denial tent to quickly give everyone hugs then runs back into the safety of the denial tent*

~Kaytee~ 31-07-2009 01:59 AM

*hugs kahlia* hope ur ok xxx


ive survived first week of uni.. but I missed 2 tutes :/ was very anxious and just got very sick from it so I went home early. So nervous about this semester. What should I say to the tutors *shrugs* I don't know.. I dont know if I want to continue with this course =[

littlein09 31-07-2009 02:16 AM

5 years today :( should have got better by now dont you think,
i think i should check into the v.p.w - feeling ***** :( want to do it again. and again. and again.

making myself sick isnt getting me as much satisfaction and confidence as cuttings :( arghhhh

how is everybody
xx

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:26 AM

Shouldn't have read through that thread. Shouldn't have gone through his posts. Reminded me of what I've lost.

He walked out of my ****ing life after breaking my ****ing heart. He made me want to ****ing die. Did he care? Did he ****.

My housemate's going back into hospital tomorrow for a mastectomy. She won't be out for four days (supposedly) Friend's coming over so I won't be alone though.

My sister died. It's coming up to her birthday. Third of August. And then 26th is the fourth anniversary of her death.

Too much loss. I dunno how to deal with it. Psychiatrist appointment isn't until ****ing OCTOBER. I have to try and hold on until then. Right now I dunno if I can. Already taken an OD. Biggest one yet. No I'm not going to hospital. I want to ****ing damage my body. Probably going to cut later too.

**** it **** it **** it **** it

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:27 AM

So ARSING lonely. There isn't a soul around to talk to >_<

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:28 AM

I'm having that little bottle of wine now. **** it. Might drink both of them. Can always get some more tomorrow

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:28 AM

I HATE MYSELF

zowie 31-07-2009 04:29 AM

*Hugs everyone* I really want to hug you all individually, you all need it. I'm sorry everyone's going through such a tough time :(
I love you all.

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:31 AM

*Hugs Arwen*

zowie 31-07-2009 04:44 AM

*Hugs Dayna/Todlich* Hope you're okay sweetheart xxx

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:45 AM

Well I'm better in that I've pickews myself up off the kitchen floor and stopped crying, but other than that, not really. Hope you're doing okay *hugs back*

zowie 31-07-2009 04:53 AM

I'm doing alright, just a little apprehensve about coming off the meds.
And feeling pissed off about how my ex has treated me.
I know how hard anniversarys of deaths can be, it's so hard. Especially when it's someone as close as a sister.
I'm here if you need to talk xxxx

SoMuchMore 31-07-2009 04:53 AM

*hugs Damnation*
*hugs everyone that needs hugs*

I upset everyone around me, even when I don't mean to... even when i don't think I'm doing anything... I feel horrible.

Damnation. 31-07-2009 04:55 AM

Arwen: I'm sure you'll be fine with the meds. And we'll be here to support you if needed :3nod:. And men are dicks. 'Nuff said -_-

*Hugs Fallen back*

Think I'ma go to bed. Tired, got lots to do tomorrow, spacey and ****. So early night ftw

zowie 31-07-2009 04:57 AM

Night Dayna.
I'ma listen to a couple of more songs, then off to bed.
xx

Kahlia1981 31-07-2009 11:55 AM

*hugs everyone*

Nicole [mouse in darkness] says thank you to everyone who sent her hugs and warm wishes.

Damnation. 31-07-2009 02:42 PM

*Hugs all*

Survived the night. No ill signs from OD. Still disgustingly depressed

zowie 31-07-2009 05:23 PM

I feel icky today.

MammaMia 31-07-2009 08:26 PM

*hugs all*

I am still hiding in the denial tent, so much better <3

Kahlia1981 31-07-2009 10:34 PM

*hugs Dayna/Todlich, Arwen and Helen*

Still with you in the denial tent Helen

*hugs all*

I got a phone call last night from both my Doctor and the people who have been repairing my laptop. My doctor has agreed to back my case in regards to my car accident which is a big relief. Also, my laptop should arrive back midweek. I still haven't received a summons in relation to my court case but expect that soon. I'm hoping to stop it before it reaches court. Wish me luck.

MammaMia 31-07-2009 10:53 PM

Dayna, hope you're okay as can be :(

Kahlia, I hope it doesn't get to court, got everything crossed for you chick.

Kahlia1981 31-07-2009 11:08 PM

Thanks Helen

MammaMia 31-07-2009 11:14 PM

You're welcome xx

How's Nicole doing?


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