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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

zowie 02-05-2008 12:45 PM

Oh god, I have a week to start and finish my psych coursework.
I'll never do it, I'm such a **** up.

MammaMia 02-05-2008 02:11 PM

Thanks guys. It's still affecting me but both Jane & Julie said I should try and move on from it, no point in listening to what they said. Even Jane stressed to me in the email that I should listen to the people I tust =D

OMG, today has been absloute mad.

I'm better at controlling my tounge (and anger!!) because today I'd not been sat down five minutes and Tina told me she wanted to finish two tasks set by 9.40. Then Jane S came in asking if she could have a word. Turns out Jane had emailed her about me dropping Psychology and getting it officaly. Jane B said I'd told her that I'd spoken to Jane S about it already, but bless her she misinterepted it. So, Jane asked why I wanted to drop and she was nice about it...so he requested to see me at break to make an appointment to see deputy head of facualty yet again (like last yr) to make the dropping offical...I came back and Tina started moaning again so I got on with my work. She kept demanding I had it finished, and I said I can only try and she's like no that's not good enough. I had to hold my tounge when she said that because I was getting stressed and nearly told where to go, but being the lady that I turning into...I held it back So she at the end of the lesson said she wanted it then by 10.50....and told me to go to my next lesson (hmm)

So I went to my next lesson, and worked through the stuff but was nearly screaming by 10.48 because I managed to muck up one part and was getting stressed. Jess asked what was up so I explained and then a minute later she was like have you finished both tasks? I replied with well no, and she went Tina is going to kill you (how ironic aye?) and I said I know!!!!

I then went and saw Jane S, we made the appointment and she gave me the USB stick that I'd lost and let me go then So I popped into the common room whilst the other Jane was on the phone...so spoke to her and that was fun Spoke to Jane about the email I'd sent her She was re-instating what she'd said in her email really, to ignore it and let it go now..and to listen to those people I do trust and stuff bless her She's been an amazing support lately, really appericate it!!!

After that, I spoke to Becky some more...and decided I'd go searching for Neil to say thanks for his help yesterday about the above and to let him know I took his advice But wasted ages looking but got to speak quickly to other people. I gave up the search....I was headed back for the common room to do some coursework when Julie said hey and then we both moved two steps in opposite directions and hesitated (I was going to ask I could talk to her...cus Jane forwarded my email to her ) and then she asked if she could have a word with me So that we did.......about that email, other stuff and how she's contacted my gp yet again esp as I've now either attempted suidice or come close to it three times now since March and obviously she thought two weeks was too long to not see anyone, because obviously things are taking more shape where suidice and depression is concerned...so she wanted me to have some help and stuff and part of it is her duty...so yeah. So my doctor knows about the three attempts/close attempts and stressed that I have to turn up today for my appointment and if I don't turn up he'll be very worried....

So I may just get my liver function test sorted out today woop

*sigh* I'm going to eat some lunch now....

~*forever_broken*~ 02-05-2008 03:43 PM

My friend died this morning. Uteren cancer. Diagnosed in November, dead the second of May:crying:
And I haven't cried! I am feeling very little about it... And I don't even feel particularly bad about that! I feel nothing but tired (and that's a sensation, not a feeling)... I'm a terrible friend:crying:

Pomegranate 02-05-2008 04:24 PM

How are you doing now Emo-fairy? *hugs Ally* You aren't a terrible friend hun. You are probably just in shock, besides I know some people who have had relatives die and never cried about it years later. It doesn't mean you love the person any less. Why don't you try to have a sleep? *hugs Zowie* try not to stress about it sweetie. Could you get a special circumstances extension or something? If it is any consolation, I am in a very similar boat to you with regards to assessed uni essays etc. How are you doing now? How did your chemistry exam go Chloe? *hugs* How are you doing Carole? Jo, I have sympathy for you I really do. Last night I kept thinking how crappy it was to be stuck in for one night and having no privacy. It must be horrible being in that situation for weeks/months on end. *hugs you* I think you can get through it though hun x *sends Helen hugs* Phone just gone off so will respond in a bit. *hugs anyone left out*

Pomegranate 02-05-2008 04:24 PM

DAMN hospitals. I ended up being kept in for no damn reason whatsoever. Here's why. So I get to a+e....cue four hours of waiting then being given a ****ing incompetent doctor that keeps asking why I tried to kill myself. Inform him I didn't so he asks increduously what the cut was about. At this point I burst into tears and tell him to get the hell away from me because I want to see someone else. Get told nurses can't stitch because it had been too long and it was him or nobody. I inform him he is not coming anywhere near me and refuse to let him in the room and tell him I am going rather than let him touch me. Eventually after much crying on my part a lovely nurse comes in, puts wet dressing on to soften the skin and then an hour later one of the staff nurses agreed to try and stitch it after informing me it might well need plastics to sort out. Get 11 stitches....not too bad...was expecting more to be honest because of width but at this point I was still having random bursts of crying and didn't care. Then I get ready to go and get told no, I am not leaving until I agree to have the crisis team come round my house. I am in halls and hate the crisis team so said no, so....I get told I am not leaving the hospital until I have been assessed and end up being kept in over night. Spend night crying and staring into space. This morning, well about 12.30 a psych nurse comes and says he is surprised I didn't discharge myself earlier. I inform him I tried and was told I couldn't till had seen someone. The psych nurse then asks if I *really* want to go through the same forms I have been dozens of times before, I say not really. THEN, THEN....HE SAYS 'do you want to go home? What are you going to do when you get out?' I decide to be honest and said yes I did want to go home and that I was going out drinking and going to cut. He said that was fine as long as I wasn't trying to kill myself when I cut. Spent night in hospital for a grand total of 3 whole minutes with someone who then says I can go. BUT.... then medical ward consultant disagrees with him and says I am staying in until I get a full proper review, assessment and plan of action sorted. Psych nurse disagrees and they ask what I want to do. So I am home. I hate the NHS. Kind of glad to be back because of the freedom to do whatever I want but at the same time kind of scared.

Pomegranate 02-05-2008 04:25 PM

Why Won't This Damn Thing Let Me Break Up Chunks Of Text???? Grrrr!

MammaMia 02-05-2008 04:43 PM

Oh dear Em, I knew most of it anyway...

Glad you're back :D

MammaMia 02-05-2008 04:44 PM

Ally, so sorry to hear about your friend :( You're probs in shock sweetie *hugs*

MammaMia 02-05-2008 04:47 PM

Doctor appointment went well, didn't keep long yay! Not that he's going to do anything except to wait for my appointment. Least I know it's with a psycharist now...so know what type of person it is :D He hasn't requested for my to have a liver function test. Kinda happy about it, obv thinks I'm okay and don't need one....I had to kinda talk about the bridge a bit & the od a bit aswell....but not much thanfully. Had a few questions, reminded I could go there any time or the clinic...or even A&E then he said...now I won't have to worry about you all weekend. Said thanks and let me go :D Hehe, had a medical student in there....wonder what she thought :P

~*forever_broken*~ 02-05-2008 06:41 PM

*pounces on Emma and gives her a massive hug* I'm never letting go! I missed you!!! And I was worried!!! I'm sorry you had such a time of it hun, sounds nightmearish :-( *snuggles* I am glad you are back home... How are you feeling luv?

*hugs Jo, Zowie, and Helen* Hope y'all are doing better, staying safe, that sort of thing. Helen I am proud of you for being able to hold your tongue... that's not easy, to be sure (heaven only knows I've botched it up a few *cough*a lot*cough* times in the past.

Love you all
_______________________________________
*sigh, is jealous of Emma who had/has plans to drink* Not only do I not have the money to go out and buy alcohol, my mom is coming this weekend... so no booze:crying: No cutting either:crying: I suppose that will ultimatly be OK though as I'm really rather numb at the moment... Then again that kind of makes me want to bleed and to hurt... Since I can't seem to manage a tear or hurt over the death of my friend:pinch:...
*curls up in the denial tent under her blanket, clutching her stuffed lamb*

MammaMia 02-05-2008 06:45 PM

I can't do this :(

I feel so upset =[ and annoyed :|

blondiebear 02-05-2008 10:00 PM

I've never been in a psych ward before. Just 30 years of counseling. May I hang out here please?

I'm exhausted but think I'll be a loser if I nap. I've had two screwy weeks of personality conflicts. Yet more changing relationships. My body is hungry but I don't want to eat. I have a mess of cleaning out I want to do before tenting (tent fumigation) next week. I can't decide where to start.
Maybe I should go sleep.
Help please.
*hugs daughter Ally*

MammaMia 02-05-2008 10:19 PM

Welcome Susan :)

I'm really exhausted too, might be why I'm feelig tired all the time. I get lousy amounts of sleep anyway and even when I get good amounts, I can't get up quickly because I'm still so tired. I can't win. Infact I've suddenly gone rely tired again, might go to sleep soon, got to be up about 10am tomorrow to be ontime for my hair cut :)

*hugs*

Detour. Derail 02-05-2008 10:23 PM

*hugs ally* im sorry about your friend hun...but you arent a bad friend. you're amazing!!

HI SUSAN :D *waves*

Hi everyone :) *waves somemore*

Im tired. Obessessive behaviour is exhausting.
Ive just made my bed about 8 times.

MammaMia 02-05-2008 10:37 PM

*hugs Alex, Callie, Ally, Susan, Emma, Emma, Jo, Zwie, Carole, Chloe, Jermery & anyone else I've forgotten*

I'm still upset over stuipd stuff :(

How can ANYONE say "thats not good enough, I want both tasks done by 10.50" in reponse to "I can only try my best"

=\

Seriously?

I think I might have a word with someone higher than her, because I'm sick of this.

Detour. Derail 02-05-2008 10:44 PM

YOU GO FOR IT HUN!!!!
Kick some ass :)
*pounces on you*

~*forever_broken*~ 02-05-2008 11:04 PM

*hugs her RYL mother*
Welcome to the psych ward mom, sorry you're having such a rough time of it :-(

*hugs Susan, Helen, Alexx, Callie, Carole, Emma, Jeremy, and anyone else I missed*

Pomegranate 02-05-2008 11:04 PM

pounces back at Ally* *wonders if it is against the ethos of the virtual psych ward to pass her a bottle of vodka/wine* Keep safe hun x Susan! *hugs* Don't be so hard on yourself, there is nothing wrong with sleep! Sleep is good and necessary, it may even be that you wake up with a new perspective on how to tackle your tidying. You have had a rough couple of weeks, give yourself a little break :) *Hugs Alexx and moves her away from the bed* You alright hun? Stay safe and remember you can text me at any time x Helen, I don't know what to say, maybe she just meant that what you were doing wasn't your best or something. Could complain if you liked and thought it would help but you only have a little bit left before you leave. Is it worth the aggro? Just a thought *hugs*

Pomegranate 02-05-2008 11:05 PM

*bangs head against the wall* Going out, don't feel like it but hey ho x

chocostashchick 02-05-2008 11:07 PM

no no no no no i dont want to do this i dont
my cousin is having a bridal shower luncheon tomorrow
and that was it, that was all that we were invited to and all i had to do
now all of a sudden yesterday i find out i am invited to a lingerie shower/bacheloretter party (wtf?) and am kind of obligated to go but i dont want to go
my cousins are older than me and have kids and careers and i only will know my 2 cousins nobody else and i dont want to go i am not up to this but i cant SAY that and nobody has actually asked me if i want to it's all just assumed i will go and i cant say no because that will prompt a WHY and then i would have to explain that i cant handle all the socialising now because they would ask why and i am so not saying "i've been hiding mental illness sorry peeps i'm outa here"
i hate my life i cant do this how do i do this i will have to get stoned its the only way get stoned and be miserable and put on an exhausting happy face and then go home sunday and cut myself to shreds oh joy i hate family
hugs to you all
alyssa i am SO SORRY about your loss and you are NOT A BAD FRIEND none of it makes you a bad friend
emma i hope you are okay
alexx helen chloe kit jeremy jo the entire world HUGS for you


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