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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 05:33 PM

All I can hear is ambulances.
I want to be there...
gah ><
mum just rang...was talking really loud down the phone...asking all sorts like where I was...what I was doing...who I was with...when I was home.
I'm in a ****ing library. For pete's sake >.<
I wish I didnt have to go home :(
I dont want to face them....
I should probably goooooo.....
Ick >.<

*folds up Jeremy's blanket and leaves it neatly in the corner for him with a 'ThankYou' note on top*
*leaves hot chocolate and cookies for everyone*
Take Care guys.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 06:01 PM

I shouldn't listen into conversations...I always here wrong or triggering words/phrases like
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Triggering for SI, ED & Suicide
"slashed her wrists" or "lost weight" or something silly like "social suicide"
*sigh*:pinch:

Hunni 17-04-2008 06:42 PM

*runs into her corner with ear plugs*

~*forever_broken*~ 17-04-2008 06:43 PM

Meds appointment in minutes :crying: don't wanna. Don't wanna talk about how they're working or how I'm feeling...

Nonononononononononononononono

*cowers in the denial tent*

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 08:32 PM

Hunni whats up darling?

Ally sweetheart, how did it go? *hugs you tightly*

~*forever_broken*~ 17-04-2008 09:10 PM

*hugs Alexx*
Meds appointment went alright I guess. He seemed to think that we were going to take a look at my arms each time I came in but when he started like he was going to ask he looked at my face and decided better... thank GOD cause that just wasn't going to happen...

I'm feeling so awful... my room mate has her meeting todaay with the uni housing people about my cat... I am SO worried they are going to make me send him home... and I DESPERATLY need him:crying: I don't think they'll understand... or care. *sigh* I SHOULD have asked my counselor if he could write a letter:crying: stupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupidstupid

I am SO STUPID!!!

*huddles in her corner and sobs uncontrollably*

Hunni 17-04-2008 09:16 PM

i just got home from a trip to my in laws....which despite a couple of breakdowns was alright...then i get up this morning hoping it would be another good and i had a huge i dunno episode mood swing whatever at my hubby, for no reason other than he didn't get up when i asked him to. and here i thought maybe it would be another good day...nope started off **** and now my baby won't stop crying my guy is at work and i quit i'm done i can't friggin deal with it anymore. i love her so much and yet i just don't wanna look at her right now

~*forever_broken*~ 17-04-2008 09:35 PM

Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIc an'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tI'can't:crying:

I feel awful:crying:I just want to die, really, please, let me. My blade is so tempting... I've got a TON of medication around the house... I wish I could do it:crying:

It's not fair! Lots of people die every day accidently... WHY can't I be one of them?

*continues to sob in her corner*

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 09:38 PM

Ally is there no way you could get in touch with your counsellor and get him to write the letter ASAP?
It has to be worth a shot yeh?
What is your room mate gone to talk to them about sweety? *hugs tight*

Hunni, sweetheart. everyone has bad days, and im sur your guy will understand. My counsellor always says that baby's cry alot because they are still trying to learn to control their emotions. Mayb she's just having a bad day too? It wont be this hard for every Hunni, you just have to stick with it, as hard as it seems, because you WILL make it through...
We ar all here for you and you have become a valued and loved member here so we want you to be ok :)
*huggles you and hushes your baby, rocking her to sleep*

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 09:41 PM

Ally, you know you need your cat but he neds you too...he loves you to pieces and you cant leave him...please stay strong...this is only temporary...it'll all come right soon. You haven't died yet because you still have a purpose...a reason to be here...
We'd all miss you like **** if you left. Please keep yourself safe?
You're my big sister and Callie's twin :(
Try distract yourself hun
*hugs*
xxxxx

Hunni 17-04-2008 09:47 PM

*sits in the corner rocking*
she's finally asleep but for how long who knows.
i know i need to make a dr's appointment to talk to him and get whatever this is under control i dont evne know. but i can't bring myself to pick up the phone and call

*huggles everyone in the room*, offers if anyone wants under the invisible blankie it's big enough for everyone*

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 09:55 PM

*Hides under it with you.*
Let's call him together ok?
Do you want to go get the phone?
It's ok...I'm here with you...I know its a bit scary...but you'll be ok...and you'll feel better after yeh?
Besides...at th minute..youre only talking to the receptionist. Stay calm. *calms you down*

Hunni 17-04-2008 10:00 PM

i'm just scared of what he's gonna tell me, or when i tell him i SI again he'll lock me up or take my girl away. i'm still scared hubby is going to leave i even told him to. he doesn't deserve this he never asked for it he deserves so much better than me.

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 10:14 PM

hey dont lock people up for SI-ing sweety...otherwise I would have been locked away WEEEEL before now...and they wont take your daughter away because you are asking for help and you arent a danger to her....and your guy is there to help too.
Your guy loves you hun, he has chosen to be with you and have a child with you...I know you're scared he will leave but I dont think thats the case....I think he will stand by you when you need him most because thats what you do if you love someone :)
They want to help you, your doctor, your guy, us, we all want you to be ok but you have to reach out sweety. You made it onto here which is great. Its the first step which is ALWAYS the worst i know...and if you could even just go have a chat with your doctor...tell him a little bit...he can hlp you MORE and we would be soooo so so proud of you :)
Have a little think about it ok?
PM me if you ever need to *cuddles*

squiggles 17-04-2008 10:36 PM

Hi,
I've been in and out of here numerous times but I think for the time being I'm going to join the camp in the denial tent.
I keep looking for corners to hide in but the denial tent counds loads better than a corner alone, hello to all my friends in the deial tent.
*stokes fire and passes around chocolate muffins*
Liz

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 10:38 PM

Hey Liz :)
You know you're welcome here whenever/for as long as you like :)
*huggles*
I've missed you!
You should stop in more often..just for visits and stuff :)
How you doing swety?
Alexx
xx

Detour. Derail 17-04-2008 10:39 PM

Bleh. Im being shouted. I'll catch up with posts tomorrow lunchtime guys.
Take care of yourselves!!
xxxx

~*forever_broken*~ 17-04-2008 11:04 PM

Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan't:c rying:Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIc an't:crying:Ican'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIcan'tIc an'tIcan't:crying:

Pomegranate 18-04-2008 12:40 AM

*hugs Ally* yes you can sweetie. I am glad your meds thing wasn't *too* bad. Has your room mate had the meeting yet? How did it go? Don't harm hun, it won't solve anything in the long run and you deserve so much better even if you can't see it right now.

*hugs Alexx* no words hun but you are amazing and don't forget that. Hope you are alright x

*moves over to make room for Liz* Pm me if you ever want to chat hun. How are you doing now?

Hunni (sorry don't know your real name...or indeed it that is your real name?) I am sure your husband doesn't think he deserves better and I still think you should tell him so that he will understand why you have been like you have and will be able to support you. You won't be locked away for SI. I double checked with someone at hospital today and they confirmed they can't lock you away just for that so don't worry too much about that part x

Has anyone seen Carole or Chloe or Callie or Jeremy or Dark ark around this afternoon/evening? *leaves hugs for them and anyone else might have missed on return*

oh and Carole you are up on that question thing in vets general in case you didn't know :)

------------------

Went to minor injuries thing. They were very nice apart from the bitch on reception but I decided she isn't important. I said 'I think I need stitches' and she goes 'why? have you cut yourself?' pppffff why ELSE would I think I needed stitches? seriously? Apart from a wound what else needs stitches?
Anyway turns out did need them, so got them done and sorted :)

The following content has been hidden - Reason : possible si trigger
Had 9 stitches and am now triggered and upset because it was not enough, not as many as normal :(I can't even SI properly as I want to :(

Hunni 18-04-2008 01:18 AM

it's not only the SI i'm worried about being locked up for, i knew that it's the other thoughts going through my head that i'm worried they will.
*prays for someone to make the baby stop crying*


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