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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 13-05-2010 10:08 PM

FFS, I just wrote a long post & lost it all. *starts again*

MammaMia 13-05-2010 10:13 PM

I'm sorry for writing that post & then leaving this thread for over an hour. Woops. Didn't expect to get that many replies actually. Made me cry all over again.

Not having a good day for various reasons (what's new?!). I was on the phone to my sister after my dinner, sat up to take everything out & come upstairs. I managed to drop the empty can (some of which I'd split all over the stairs) & the knife as I wobbled, as I have lack of balance, wlel I have balance but not as much as I should. Mum told me watch what I'm doing, so I snapped at her that it was only a knife & an empty can and to get over it. Woops, then yelled at my sister down the phone & hung up. Made that post because I was so pissed off. My family don't even realise how much I'm struggling right now. Then had a massive stupid argument with my best friend. Again. Oh dear.....

I just want this **** to end please? :'( :'( :'(

Oh & I'm glad certain people have finally left the ward & everyone has come back. Love you guys xxx

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 10:45 PM

*hugs crimson* haha o wow, yea i didnt realize that there was a city called that. Thats kinda awesome lol.

*hugs louise* I hope that if you decide to go to a female therapist that it is a much better experience... as april said, they are not all bad.

*hugs april* I would be nervous about an internship too, but thats normal. I'm sure you'll do great! Im glad that you are still liking your hair, it looks really good on you.

*hugs jk* Im sorry that your psych canceled on you.. But we all love you here! I hope that you managed to stop SI-ing, even if it isnt that bad, don't let it become worse. *more extra special hugs*

*hugs oliver* I'm glad that you are feeling a little bit better. Good luck at your concert! And that really sucks that some of your flatmates dont help with the washing up. I think that is what i hated the most about having roommates, and one of the reasons that i live by myself now.

*hugs helen* I'm sorry that you had a fight with your friend and with your family. Fighting is awful most of the time.. But you see, we all care here so of course you got replies! <3 :-)

*hugs mark* are you feeling any better now that you have your diaz? I hope that you are.

I just went and sold some books back, got way less than i thought I would but some cash is better than none i guess. I'm feeling kinda lonely right now. Everyone is still testing and I've just been sitting home except for dinner last night... not that if they weren't testing that many of them would call anyway. I dont know. I feel like there isn't much for me here at my uni anymore (other than my degrees of course), but its better than going home all summer... I would really be bored then.

MammaMia 13-05-2010 10:59 PM

Thanks Laura.

I just turned my old phone on to check something & found a voicemail. Expected it to be my mobile company as they keep ringing (and I keep avoiding) and it wasn't. It was my doctors surgury (totally forgot I gave it to them last year), must have had my blood tests or something. I was told to ring them in 10 days after, it's been 8. Hmmm really worried now. Wish I'd picked it up earlier.......

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:03 PM

*hugs all who want/need & can accept them*

Wow, I feel like I miss so much . . .

Feeling like crap. :(

MammaMia 13-05-2010 11:03 PM

*hugs Kahlia lots*

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:05 PM

-lays on the floor- i'm not moving i dont care wat she says we're to tired and our legs hurt
and so does our tummy so i'm not moving

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:08 PM

*cuddles Helen* - Thankyou for the hugs. I really need them right now. :crying:

Owen: Are you and Julie okay? Are you sick? Or have you been doing too much?

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:11 PM

u is upset... -gives u a life size teddy to hug u-
-shuffles feet and offers hugs- u needs hugs i give them if u want

we be ok
we done lotsa fitness class this week

MammaMia 13-05-2010 11:13 PM

Owen, look after yourself & Julie.. :)

Kahlia *hugs lots more*

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:14 PM

Thanks for the hugs Owen. I'll accept them gladly. Thanks also for the teddy.

Are you sure you're going to be okay? Just let us know if there is anything that we can do, okay?

Kahlia1981 13-05-2010 11:14 PM

*cuddles Helen* Thanks hun.

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:16 PM

-looks at the ground and whispers- i think julie going to have girl month stuff soon
...yucky

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:37 PM

... noone here everyone must be sleeping

MammaMia 13-05-2010 11:38 PM

I'm not sleeping Owen.

OMG I have to wait another 8 hours & 20 minutes for this phone call making. Ugh hurry up, I need to know :'(:'(:'(

xxjuliexx 13-05-2010 11:40 PM

-sits next to helen- hi

Scarletdreamer 13-05-2010 11:48 PM

I spy a Hels!! *cuddles* I'm sorry that you've had fights, they suck horrendously when they do happen. :( And sorry that you've had such a **** day overall... :( wish I could do more to help, but feel free to PM me whenever. I'm a bit slow at responding (sorry :o) but I will respond.

*waves at Owen* Girl stuff isn't that yucky, it's just something that has to happen, but I see how it could be viewed as yucky. Julie isn't doing too much, is she?

*cuddles Kahlia lots & lots* What's up, sweetie? I'm sorry that you feel like you miss so much here... :( is there anything I can do to help you in any way? Remember that we all love you here... :) ♥

*cuddles JK* Don't feel unloved, you're also loved here and IRL I'm sure. :) I'm glad that the SI wounds aren't too bad, just please try not to let them get bad? I'm concerned that you are SI'ing so frequently... *holds you gently*

*cuddles Oliver* Sorry you're so low, love. I wish that I could help you more. I feel so helpless sometimes, even with my training in counseling I still don't feel like I know anything... which is why I will be going on for my PhD... lol. Yeah. I'm rubbish at helping... but I'm here to listen if you need. 'Kay? *more cuddles*

*squishes Laura* You're staying at your uni for the summer? Ah yes, you got that job, right? Hopefully it will go well. :) Do you rent an apartment? Sorry for all of the questions... :-S

*squishes Mark* I'm so glad that I helped you get through!! :D I am proud of you for not SI'ing, that's awesome. *does the happy dance* Lol... it's nice feeling like I've actually done summat of worth in a day. :-S

So I'm trying to help this 15 year old girl that I've never "officially" met, just know her and of her problems through my bestie's little sister, we go to the same church... and just ONE person leaning on me like a therapist's client would is wearing me down. :( She has so much going on in her life right now... and I feel so helpless. Like I can't offer anything to her for help, and like she's expecting me to be a whiz at solving her problems. I don't know. I really do like her, she's sweet and I understand a lot of what she's going through, but it's like... if I can't handle ONE PERSON like that, then how the hell am I going to handle a caseload full? :'( I guess that really hit home, that I have to get better first, because I got triggered just by the stuff she typed to me in an email, and it really wasn't that triggery of stuff. Damnit!! :'( EPIC FAIL once again... :crying: Pathetic.

*hides in shame* :'(

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 11:49 PM

*hugs helen* Try to not think about the phone call.. It'll only make you even more anxious. (I know thats easier said than done)

*hugs kahlia*

*waves to owen* I'm not sleeping either.. its only 6pm lol.. that would be very early for me to be in bed.

SoMuchMore 13-05-2010 11:54 PM

Oops.. i missed you while i was typing April - And yea i'm staying here for work and I have an apartment. My uni is about 2 1/2 hours away from my hometown.

You are NOT pathetic or a fail. Its hard to handle trying to help people sometimes. Maybe you'll feel different in a more professional setting? I dont know, sometimes when i had to interview patients for the psych study i was involved in i was able to stay "un-triggered" b/c it was business.

*huggles*

Scarletdreamer 13-05-2010 11:59 PM

Thanks for the response, Laura. *cuddles* I just... I don't know, I am not stable right now. I'm beginning to see the wisdom in the psych dept. faculty not allowing me to go intern in a psych ward or a counseling center, etc., because it would only make me worse. I really really want to SI and purge right now and am very anxious too... feeling pretty much like a basketcase. :'( I don't know what to do either... typing calms me down some but I don't feel like updating my LJ with the same old crap... and I am not sure that WoW would be a wise idea at the moment because I am so anxious. :'(

I can't help but feel like a failure. I don't know. I just hate myself so ****ing much... :'(

*hides in a dark, deep, lonely hole* :crying:


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