*cuddles Lindsay* I wish I had more to offer you than Mark did... I think his suggestions were pretty good. Often warm drinks can be calming... my mum is always trying to get me to drink warm milk, lol!! But anyway... I understand the not wanting to be safe yet wanting to... but you CAN fight this, love. *more cuddles if that's okay?*

April I'm sorry I ddn't reply to your post about Mercy Ministrys but I really don't know what a Mercy Ministry is , I don't know if we have them over here but I've not heard of them .Hmmmm It sounds like being away from Jarrod for 6 months would be a struggle for you and I'm sure you'd miss each other terribly , You're not moaning , I feel ignored too sometime when my posts go un-answered , it's an understandable way to feel .

*Find April in her hole " Hmm big enough hole for two I think " Gets in and hugs April*

*hugs mark and then everyone else*

HEE Thanks Julie *Hugs back*

Why can't you sleep Owen ? You ok?

I spot an April *Pounces*

i'm going to try sleep now

Mercy Ministries is a women's residential treatment program for a lot of different issues, from self harm to substance abuse to unwanted pregnancies. It has locations in the UK and Canada as well as three or so locations in the States. I'd probably be going to either the one in Sacramento, California (ugh), or St. Louis, Missouri, since the Nashville, Tennessee one is reserved for girls 13-17 (I think). It's for 13-28 year old women, and is FREE (!!) of charge. So yeah. There are some other programs that another online friend pointed out that are also free, A Friend's House and Vision of Hope (AFH and VOH) but AFH is a 12 month program, sometimes more, and I would miss Jarrod sooo much, along with all of you guys, since I don't know what kind of internet time I would get. VOH is mostly for single girls/women... so yeah. Mercy sounds like the best bet for me... but I do need to look into what our insurance covers.

I'm sorry that you feel the same way sometimes, Mark... but hopefully what I said ^^ helps you understand what MM is. :) How are you doing?

I'm really tired... but kind of excited since my mum and dad are dropping by and I get to show my mum the new clothes I've got for my internship (business casual, had hardly any before this, lol)... I love one of the skirts I got, although it looks really awful if you look at my legs... they are not "girls' legs" - they are too muscled. :( Women's legs perhaps but I DON'T WANT TO BE A WOMAN!!!!!! I want to stay as a girl... :'(

Sorry if that made no sense...

Need to update r/v thread methinks...

*cuddles all*

*SIGH*
E-ON ( Power company) again , Now for the £1418.13 so called "Debt" that is NOTHING to do with me they've sent me a letter saying if I don't pay within 7 days they will pass my account to an external "Debt Collection Agency"
I feel Nauseous and triggered again , I'm shaking. I don't need this crap , They're just messing with my head so much :(

*Hugs April* Do you think that the Mercy Ministrys would be of help to you? 6 months away from Jarrod would be a struggle but if it helped you stop self injuring for the rest of your life that would be amazing! I think you need to discuss it with Jarrod thorghuley * Spelling? * . You could think of it as 6 months away from your life and then being put back into your life better off and with lots of healthy tools to cope because I'm sure you would learn lots of ways to cope other than S.I. .
Thats what I think , I hope I came over clear *Bites Lip*

*hugs everyone*
April - That sounds rough =/ I don't think I could stand being away from my family for 6 months. But if it'll help you, go for it!

*cuddles everyone*

*Cuddles Helen*

*hugs everyone*

Then hides in the corner

*hugs Mark & Louise*

Louise, want to talk about anything?

Really struggling

Want to talk about why you're really struggling sweet?

Not been sleeping great due to being sexually assault also my mum is shouting at me.

Sorry to hear that :( Are you getting any professional support/help sweetheart?