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Doikers 29-09-2010 03:30 PM

OOmmff!! Just got back after 3 succsesive appointments , Housing support worker came at 12pm and reassured me about the benefits people assesing me , he said it's easy , Then the Volunteer lady , Anne, Listened to all my issues and even offered to go to the Psych Dr with me tomorrow! How Nice :) She is nice . Then I met with my nurse and told her how I don't think stopping injuring by my 30th was realistic and that I've not set another date to stop by as that would just give me something else to beat myself up over and she knew that I have signed up for this Dual Diagnosis Group to try and use that to help with my injuring , So I feel okay , It's nice to actually be told that I seem better and more positive than 2 months ago when I was super depressed .

Doikers 29-09-2010 03:39 PM

*Hugs Ryuu* It's good that you got the meds just in case you need them :)

*Hugs April*Frozen Vegetables!!!!!!!!!!!!EEEEEP ;P

*Hugs Helen*I hope you don't get too wet.

SoMuchMore 29-09-2010 05:22 PM

*hugs mark* sounds like your appointments went very well today. I'm glad.

*hugs april* sorry you have such a busy day, but it may be good to be busy... at the very least it can be distracting.

*hugs helen* yay for being out early! hope the rain lets up soon so you dont have to get soaked.

*hugs RYUU* glad that you got your meds just in case.

*hugs KJ* We are always here to support if you need it. Sorry that your anniversaries are coming up, that has got to be really difficult :-/ please dont hesitate to post if you need to talk or just a distraction.

*hugs needhelp* sorry that you are struggling so much. Here if you need to talk, but as I said to KJ, dont hesitate to post if you need anything.

... what can I say? everything i could say is going to sound really depressing so maybe i should just keep my mouth shut. Oh here, this may not be so bad to say: Managed to get through last night without SI b/c it seems that everyone I know was seemingly freaking out/having a crisis about something or another... so i was dealing with that.. I don't mind really.. im good at dealing with other people's crisis', i just didnt get anything else done last night school wise, which isnt good.

Doikers 29-09-2010 05:33 PM

*Hugs Laura* Well done with going S.I. free last night , Me Too *High fives Laura* It's tough to do I know so even though it wasn't the best of circumstances that led you to do it it's a good thing , Hmmmmm , does that make sense? , To Sum Up , Go you!!

SoMuchMore 29-09-2010 06:10 PM

*high fives mark back* yea i understood what you meant there lol.

I'm off to class for a few hours.. hope everyone has a good day/afternoon/evening!

FlyingNy 29-09-2010 06:22 PM

*Hugs all*

Things seem to be ok here right now in terms of people's moods. I am going to ruin that with a rant.

I swear I hate them all! How come is it I am suddenly a self rightious bitch, stuck up and have my head up my arse just because I stuck up for someone? I don't even know the girl, I have never met her in my life, but I just don't think it's fair to give someone your phone number and lead them along for a joke, but my brother seems to think it's hilarious, and when I told him that it wasn't, he and my sister, and even my mum jumped down my throat.

I know it's not the world's biggest deal, but it just makes me feel as if I can do nothing right. I was only trying to be nice, I don't even know the girl, I just don't think it's very fair on her, but apparenlty, sticking up for people makes me the bitch. It wasn't as if I did it in a nasty way either, I didn't name call, I just said it wasn't fair.

Grr, damn this. I wish I didn't have to live here. Now they've even taking to mocking my writing, and that's just about the only thing I feel there's the slightest chance I may be any good at. Not a lot, I doubt I am, I'm probably ****. But still, I'm not as convinced about that then I am about the rest of me being worthless.

Sorry for that. Feel free to ignore me all you want.

Doikers 29-09-2010 06:36 PM

*Hugs Lia* You did the right thing by that girl and it doesn't seem right that people would attack you for being a good person :( You're not worthless Lia , anything but and the way you write on here makes me beleive you are a good writer .
Don't worry about ranting , we all do it , and we are here for each other.

SparkleKitten 29-09-2010 06:54 PM

*cuddles wardies* Having more mum troubles recently. Mostly about my weight, which is healthy but curvy. I'm already skipping meals because I can't face eating due to the row that will follow... And she refuses to pay me the money she owes me as she's keeping it for board. I can't stand how she bullies my weight, I'm classed as healthy, whats the issue. So why am I being bullied because of how I look? Makes me uneasy, she's supposed to be loving and caring, not a bully. Sorry for ranting guys x

Doikers 29-09-2010 07:04 PM

*Hugs Sarah*You are a healthy weight and thats whats important , I'm sorry you are being bullied by your mum :S

SparkleKitten 29-09-2010 07:18 PM

Has always been the same, really do wish she'd leave my weight alone because I constantly worry about it, I don't need her doing this :( *cuddles Mark*

Scarletdreamer 29-09-2010 07:20 PM

Lia, hon, you ARE good at writing, and you're good at other stuff too!! Like helping us when we need encouragement (don't worry though, it's fine to rant as well!! - everyone needs to rant now and again), being sweet/kind/thoughtful, and by being willing to learn to trust us. :) I hope that made sense. But anyway, I'm glad that you stuck up for that girl, even though I got a bit confused by the situation. But that doesn't matter... what matters is the fact that 1) you did what was right [yey] and 2) your family were being asshats to you [I'm sorry about that...]. So yes. I hope that made sense!! But you ARE a good person, and I know that it's not just me who thinks that. :) *hugs gently*

Laura, glad that you didn't SI last night, even if it were because of other people's crises. That's good - no, not just good, it's VERY good. And congrats to Mark, too, for not SI'ing last night. ^_^ Proud of both of you. <3 *cuddles*

Sarah, sounds like maybe your mum's a bit jealous? I dunno. Seems like she's being a bit off by being mean about your weight. :( Also, maybe edit out the sizes in your post as they could be a bit triggering? (wanted to warn you before the mods did, if I could, because it's no fun having them edit posts for you) I think there are a few of us in here who have disordered eating/EDs, so yeah. Sorry... :-S But you've no cause to be worried about your weight, please try not to. *gentle cuddles* Oh, and sorry, but I forgot when your surgery is? My memory's a sieve, heh. :-/

Well, I did some grocery shopping today, as well as stopping by the library to reserve a book for Jarrod... except they HAD the book in so I just checked it out instead of reserving it!!! He will be pleased. :) And grocery shopping... gurk. I bought some premade (Weight Watchers) chicken & cheese quesadillas but am now a little worried as it said that they had to be heated up to 165'F to be fully cooked and the middle of my first one was cold... but I unthinkingly ate a bite or two before realizing that it was cold. (Yeah, I pay attention to what I eat, why do you ask? lol... :-X) So now I'm freaking out (in my head) about whether or not I'm going to get food poisoning. :( Silly me. Ugh. But it was ONLY a bite or two, and I heated the rest of it up... :-/ I hope I'll be okay. STUPID ME. :-X

Anyway. I also checked out a few (more) books from the library... and while my "internal battery" is recharging, I think I shall go read for a bit. I'm reading this one book called The Ten Year Nap and every time I look at the title I think, "I wish..." Haha. I mean, not really, I wouldn't like to sleep 10 years of my life away, but sleeping long enough that I actually felt rested? That would be pretty freaking amazing. :)

*extra cuddles to all*

misskitty112 29-09-2010 07:34 PM

So... I had a post, then my computer flipped the eff out.
Idk what's up with that.
Anywhoo, I'm so tired and I have to work soon.. joy! then I need to go hijack a professors computer to print out my papers... joy again!
I wore my tie dye shirt today and got SO MANY COMPLIMENTS! It was insane.
I almost harmed last night.. but didn't and settled for throwing one hell of a fit and throwing everything in my possession around the room. So... I couldn't find all of my books today... Oh, well... I'm sure my roomie hates me now for said fit though. Oh, well, I don't really care at the moment.

*Hugs everyone* I'll try to do individuals tonight once I don't have to be everywhere at once.

Doikers 29-09-2010 07:34 PM

*Hugs April*I'm pretty sure you'll be okay with your food , you reheated it after you realised it was cold , you should be fine , I don't think you were being stupid .
Hmmm a ten year nap , I wake up tired too , no matter how much or little sleep I've had , latley I've been just falling/crawling out of bed which takes a LOT of laying there psyching myself up :S

Doikers 29-09-2010 07:36 PM

*Hugs Felicia* I'm glad so many people liked your tye dying efforts :) Well done for not harming :)

SparkleKitten 29-09-2010 07:57 PM

Don't have my consultation until the 21st. :(

However on the upside I bought a hat with kitty ears on it, its so cute :D

Doikers 29-09-2010 08:06 PM

I'm sorry you have to wait for your consultation Sarah :S What is it a consultation for ? sorry if you've said I've forgot.
Cool sounding hat though :)

SparkleKitten 29-09-2010 08:19 PM

I'm seeing them for my stupid gallbladder, they're either going to put me on meds for it or take it out. Only taken 3 months to get to this >:(

Doikers 29-09-2010 08:26 PM

Oh right , I remember about your gallbladder now, I hope it doesn't cause you too much trouble from now until your consultation.

SparkleKitten 29-09-2010 08:44 PM

Same or I'm selling it on ebay :p

Doikers 29-09-2010 08:52 PM

Hehe , That made me smile :)

Doikers 29-09-2010 08:59 PM

I'm heading to bed ,I'm a bit tired and I think I actually made progress today or at least i showed when I was talking to my nurse that I really am willing to try stuff to help stop injuring . I've been assesed for a 12 week course that go's through all the bits of different therapys and re-habs and takes the bits that work and has smooshed them all together into this one program so yeah I have hope that it might possibly help me cut back on my S.I.

*Night Night Ward*

FlyingNy 29-09-2010 09:12 PM

*Hugs Mark* Goodnight, hope you sleep well.

*Hugs Sarah* Good luck with the consaltation and I'm sorry about your mum :( Mine's the same, but I'm glad you have the strength to realise there is nothing wrong with your weight and you're fine just the way you are.

*Hugs Felicia* The workload never stops does it? Well done for not harming though :)

*Hugs April* Thanks, my family just wind me up sometimes. Well, all the time actually, but it makes me feel like just a stressy teenager and I don't even know if all this stuff is normal. I've told you about quite a lot of my family stuff. Is that normal to you? That's a general question for everyone, not just April. Woo for you getting stuff done today and I do hope you don't get ill, food poisoning's the worst :S.

MammaMia 29-09-2010 10:20 PM

*hugs everyone*

I did soaked, but oh well =) Didn't get everything I wanted done, going to do it tomorrow :D

Scarletdreamer 29-09-2010 10:21 PM

Lia, love, to be honest, your family situation (as well as several other people's family situations in here) sounds rather... ummm, well, don't want to say "abnormal" because I really don't know EXACTLY what "normal" is supposed to be, but it's emotionally and verbally abusive and that.is.not.right. Ever. I guess that a family is MEANT to be supportive/loving/caring/kind to its members. My family came pretty close to that... but admittedly I have been having some issues with that lately. :( The "supportive" bit especially. But anywho, this isn't about me. I hope that what I said makes sense though. *cuddles* And I also hope I don't get food poisoning... Jarrod doesn't think I will because it was just a few bites and he said that they only have to put that label ("must reach 165'F blah blah blah") on it for liabilities. I guess so people don't eat them raw? lol... But meh. I will hopefully not get ill. :-/ How has your day been??

Mark, sleep well... *tucks you into your ward bed* Pleasant dreams!!

Sarah, I wish I could hurry time up so the consultation comes sooner!! Ugh. 3+ months of putting up with that... not fun at all. :( I'm sorry. And also, your bit about selling it on eBay made me smile, lol. At least you can have a sense of humor about it all!! *gentle hugs*

Felicia, I'm glad that you got a lot of compliments on your tshirt. :) That's a happy, even if your comp throwing a hissy fit isn't. Heh. So annoying, computers. They can really ruin your day if they decide to be, well, annoying. >_< I'm so glad that they aren't sentient and can't decide at whim to ruin your day if they don't like you or whatever. Now THAT would be a scary world... ;) Sorry, am in a bit of a weird mood (carrying over from yesterday...). *hugs*

*cuddles all who haven't been about in a bit*

Jarrod's gonna make supper. *big happy grin* Lol. He's not the best cook but at least he's trying!! :D If he can learn to cook then... ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. :P But don't tell him I said that. Heehee. Although almost granted, he'd think that it were funny. But still... it was awfully sweet of him. Inspired, methinks, by the fact that I did the dishes, grocery shopping, and picked him up a book from the library that he's been wanting to read for aaaaaaaages now. :) All today, too!!! I've been a busy chickadee. :P

I'm reading this FASCINATING book called Pilgrim by Iforgetwhom. It's basically about Carl Jung's work with a man who is only known as Pilgrim, and who appears to be unable to die. Won't post more than that because it 1) could be triggering and 2) could give away bits of the story I've not read yet. :P But needless to say... psychiatric history + mystery + good writing = EPIC WIN in April's mind. :D Whee. I actually have gotten through about 120 pages of it so far today (maybe more, maybe less, can't remember...) and that in only about an hour's time spent reading. ^_^ I am rediscovering my LOVE for books. <3

Erm yeah. I think I'm going to go write elsewhere so I don't talk your ears off. ;) Er, your eyes... whatever. Hehe.

Scarletdreamer 29-09-2010 10:24 PM

*cuddles Hels* You popped in and out whilst I were typing!! :P Hmmm, boo on getting soaked, that sucks. But at least you seem to be in a good mood... hmm, wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you're going to see your bestie in 5 (?) days?? :P I wish we all had equally big happinesses to look forward to in the coming days... then maybe we'd have a ward full of happy people. That would be utterly AWESOME. :) (And not the "happy pills" kind of happy, either. :P) Anyway... well done on getting some stuff done today, at least... I know how "daunting" it can be if you have a ton to get done in a day. :) At least there's tomorrow to do some of it. Now that I've had such a busy day, I don't know what I'll do tomorrow. :-/

*even more extra cuddles for all* <3

MammaMia 29-09-2010 10:44 PM


Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2510594)
*cuddles Hels* You popped in and out whilst I were typing!! :P Hmmm, boo on getting soaked, that sucks. But at least you seem to be in a good mood... hmm, wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that you're going to see your bestie in 5 (?) days?? :P I wish we all had equally big happinesses to look forward to in the coming days... then maybe we'd have a ward full of happy people. That would be utterly AWESOME. :) (And not the "happy pills" kind of happy, either. :P) Anyway... well done on getting some stuff done today, at least... I know how "daunting" it can be if you have a ton to get done in a day. :) At least there's tomorrow to do some of it. Now that I've had such a busy day, I don't know what I'll do tomorrow. :-/

*even more extra cuddles for all* <3

*cuddles April lots* I sure did :D It sure is to do with that I'm seeing my bestie in 5 days!!! That actually made me squeal loudly when I ready your post. Sad, I know LOL. I wish we all did aswell. It can be daunting indeed. I just was so stressed last night about having so much to get done before Monday, but wrote it down. So got a good start into it. Yaay.

RYUU 29-09-2010 10:56 PM

The devil is telling me that i must die now am scared i might do something

Kahlia1981 29-09-2010 11:08 PM

*offers cuddles and safe love & care packages to all*

I've been able to quickly get onto my housemate's computer while he is asleep as he has customised a logon for me and thought I would drop by for a quick catch up.

Things haven't been going brilliantly here. With my computer dying, my shoulder subluxing and the severe pain forcing me onto an extremely high dose of endone (a sister drug to morphine), the pain itself which is also interrupting my sleep to the extent where I am struggling to get to sleep and stay asleep and am now lucky to manage 2 - 3 hours a night again, and the chest infection which appears to be still worsening instead of getting better despite me being halfway through the second course of antibiotics I have been forced to ask for an extension for the first assignment of my only subject I am attempting at uni this semester.

To be perfectly honest, the worst part about that is that I feel like I have failed because I have had to ask for an extension on something that I know I am capable of completing without requiring an extension on. *sigh*

Mind you, the pain in my shoulder and frustration and other emotional responses to not having a computer that I can access whenever and wherever I want or need to are really getting me down. :-(

I hope that everyone is having a good day/night and offer *hugs*, *cuddles*, *glomps* and *waves* that you can choose for your level of comfort.

Remember: You never know how strong you can be until being strong is the only option you have left! So just keep your head up and keep moving forward.

*leaves lots of tlc for everyone in whatever way they can accept it and quickly plays with Puppy SinClair*

MammaMia 29-09-2010 11:15 PM

*hugs Kahlia tightly* I'm sorry everything's being so crap right now babe :(

SoMuchMore 29-09-2010 11:28 PM

*hugs kahlia, helen, lia, april, mark, sarah, RYUU, felicia, and everyone else*

Sorry its not more.

risenfromperdition 30-09-2010 12:25 AM

*snuggles laura <3*

xxjuliexx 30-09-2010 04:35 AM

*curls up* man i ate way to much

Doikers 30-09-2010 10:14 AM

*Hugs Julie*

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry you are suffering so much , I hope both your arm and chest feel better soon :)

*Hugs April* Yey for reading!!

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Ryuu* I hope you are safe .

MammaMia 30-09-2010 11:43 AM

*cuddles ward*

Doikers 30-09-2010 11:57 AM

*Cuddles Helen*

The One Who 30-09-2010 12:16 PM

*hugs everyone* I hope we're doing okay.

MammaMia 30-09-2010 12:48 PM

*cuddles Mark & Claire* How you two doing?

I'm good, full of cold & cough though :( Should be getting my broken hearing aid sorted out today. Well hoping a new/loan one anyway :S I'm already in tears about it because I'm that worried.

Doikers 30-09-2010 12:49 PM

*Hugs Claire*

I've got my Psych Dr's appointment in 42 minutes , anxious , any spare positive thoughts I'd appreciate them coming my way (Short notice I know).

EDIT:- Ohh Helen I hope you get your hearing aid sorted out and I also hope your cold go's away soon .

The One Who 30-09-2010 12:50 PM

*sends lots of positivity* good luck Mark.

I'm doing okay, I think.

needhelp 30-09-2010 01:12 PM

*hugs to everyone* hope everyone is feeling okish...x

Walking around trying so hard not to give in to the urge... Have this really strong urge to hurt my neck... I'm losing control and I kno tht if I lose the battle and give into the urge then it's going to be bad... The urge is so bad I'm shaking... Being alone here in this place doesn't help... :/

Doikers 30-09-2010 02:41 PM

*Hugs Needhelp* Can you put on some music to divert your attention or maybe go out for a walk?

Well...My P Doc's appointment went okay , he seemed pleased hat I'm not actively suicidal this time and that I'm volunteering and meeting the befriending lady , He prescribed me 12 Diaz to get the 8 that my GP gave me up to the 20 I am prescribed although when I got the box home and opened it it only had 10 tablets in there but 18 for the month is MUCH better than 8, He also is going to write to my GP telling him I am prescribed 20 Diaz a month so I hope my GP gets the message . Oop the police just knocked on the door looking for the owner of a fridge freezer thats been dumped at the side of our building , I don't know who's it is though.

shadowedsoul 30-09-2010 03:14 PM

Cuddles all, damn it I'm in a such a mess, need somwere safe right now. Feel very unsafe.

Doikers 30-09-2010 03:31 PM

*Squishes Jill*

MammaMia 30-09-2010 05:10 PM

*cuddles all*

I'm back with two new hearing aids...lol.

Doikers 30-09-2010 05:15 PM

Hooray for new hearing aids Helen !:)

MammaMia 30-09-2010 06:30 PM

Yeah you're right Mark :D

one_step_closer 30-09-2010 06:31 PM

Hi everyone.

Doikers 30-09-2010 06:43 PM

Hi Lindsay *Hugs* How are you doing?

one_step_closer 30-09-2010 06:48 PM

I'm not too bad thanks. How are you, Mark?

Sefka 30-09-2010 06:55 PM

Coming in again. I'm a gigantic mess :crying: Got that 'can't breathe, can't think, can't talk' feeling.

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