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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

one_step_closer 16-09-2010 01:24 PM

Kahlia, I hope tomorrow is a much better day for you.

Jill, please talk to us. We care.

Helen, i'm glad you're ok and you managed to have a good sleep. Sleep is amazing :)

Mark, I wouldn't know what to think about that!

Scarletdreamer 16-09-2010 01:45 PM

*tiptoes in and sits in a corner* :-/

Doikers 16-09-2010 01:48 PM

*Scoots up beside April* How are you today?

frenchhorn 16-09-2010 02:01 PM

*hugs April* whats up?
*hugs Mark*
*hugs everyone else*

Scarletdreamer 16-09-2010 02:07 PM

*glomps Mark & Oliver*

Thanks for asking, you two... I dunno, I just... miss being here yet at the same time don't feel up to posting much of the time. :( I don't know what's the matter with me. I mean, it's classic bipolarity I guess, I don't know. I'm up one minute singing little stupid ditties then down the next feeling like doing nothing. Ever. :( I feel like I could sleep forever. I'm having trouble dragging myself out of bed in the mornings, and when I do, I'm exhausted even though I've slept probably 8-10 hours.

BUT, today we (my mum and I) are going spinning (wool) again. Woohoo. I was taking some pictures of the roving (what you make the yarn out of), the bobbin with my yarn on it, and then was going to take a picture of the skein of yarn that my mum and I plied together (purple and pink) but then my camera decided to up and die on me. And I have no idea where we have extra batteries. BAD CAMERA, BAD. >:( But that's what another knitting-and-yarn-freak friend of mine calls "yarn porn," lol... may be slightly inappropriate name-wise but I thought it was funny. ;) She asked me to post some photos of the stuff that we've been working on, so I decided that I would get some uploaded. Silly camera. >_< Anyway. So that ought to be fun.

And I really want some more gummy worms or some gummi bears or something... had a small bag of them that I got for $0.99 yesterday that I split with my husband... but I want MORE MORE MORE. Haha. It's been sooo long since I have had gummyish things that I just want to eat them allllll the time. I think I'm in a food crisis. :P Now instead of not eating healthily (i.e., not enough), I want UNHEALTHY food instead of healthy. Like salty stuff. REALLY SALTY STUFF. Like... erm... well, salty stuff. ANYTHING SALTY. I NEED SALT!!! :-X

Okies. I'll shut up now. :o

frenchhorn 16-09-2010 02:12 PM

*hugs April* I know the feeling with missing the ward, but not up to posting much, I just come in and try to read everything but get so overwhelmed, I'm also sleeping a lot but want more all the time, it sucks.
That sounds fun all that wool spinning stuff, is it like a proper old spinning wheel or is it something modern?
ooo now I want something salty, infact I should probably eat as I havn't and its gone 2 in the afternoon

PS constructing a reply for FB April :)

Scarletdreamer 16-09-2010 02:38 PM

Oliver, it's with an old-fashioned spinning wheel. ^_^ It's quite enjoyable, and almost a "Zen-like activity," very calming, etc. I'm sorry that you haven't felt much like coming to the ward and posting, but like you, I've been keeping up with it, although I don't feel overwhelmed by it (as long as I take it in relatively small chunks, heh, and don't plan on trying to post replies to everyone). Blah. I am so tired right now... :( want to go lie down and also haven't really eaten... Jarrod's going to be disappointed in me so that is not going to be a happy thing. I've eaten some but nothing you can definitively call a "breakfast" (damn it, I keep typing "supper" when I mean "breakfast," and I've no idea why!!!)... grrr. And lol, I just got so caught up in looking at photos on FB that I totally forgot I'd made myself a hot chocolate... silly me. It's really good too, dark hot chocolate, mmmm. :)

Sorry to anyone if my talking about food bothers you - I can go back and edit posts if it does. :-/ And yey, Oliver, for a FB response - I love discoursing about religion even if I'm not very good at it. :o

SoMuchMore 16-09-2010 03:48 PM

*hugs everyone tight*

one_step_closer 16-09-2010 03:55 PM

I don't think I can do this :crying:

Doikers 16-09-2010 04:11 PM

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs April*

shadowedsoul 16-09-2010 04:15 PM

Cuddles all. Can't do this anymore. =(

Doikers 16-09-2010 05:09 PM

*Hugs Jill* Whats going on ?

*Hugs Lindsay*I think you CAN do this if you mean not S.I.ing ODing like you said last night , it's a big step but you CAN do it :)

one_step_closer 16-09-2010 05:29 PM

Jill, what's happening?

Mark, how are you?

I'm so low I just don't know what to do about it.

FlyingNy 16-09-2010 05:35 PM

Hi, I'm sorry for lack of being around and replies. It's partly through lack of computer access and partly the same as April. I just really can't summon the energy or motivation. No offence or anything, I love you guys.

Things are...falling apart. I don't...urgh. I can't say all that's on my mind, I just don't want them to stay this way and I'm scared of everything. I don't know...I just want this to stop. Very soon.

*Hugs Lindsey and others* Sorry there's not a lot I can say right now. I just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you.

Doikers 16-09-2010 06:43 PM

I think I am going for a nap I laid down earlier but stayed awake , I just want away from my scars :S and yet want to add more and more .

Scarletdreamer 16-09-2010 06:57 PM

*cuddles all* Brain won't wrap around all of the responses :o but I do want to send you all cuddles if you want them!!! I really want to take a nap too but I know that if I do I am just going to be groggier when I wake up than when I lay down... which makes NO SENSE AT ALL. Ugh. :(

RYUU 16-09-2010 07:33 PM

*hugs everyone * Feeling unsafe the devil is strong he keeps telling me to OD

Doikers 16-09-2010 07:41 PM

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Ryuu* Don't listen to the devil Ryuu, please be careful :S

I just lay there all awake heh , so nap aborted.

Kahlia1981 16-09-2010 08:28 PM

*huggles all who can accept && waves at those who cannot*

GP visit today and lots of work on assignments and other study. I'd dearly love to stop coughing. I only have 11 scripts to go until my medications are free. That would be nice ... Right now just so damn tired and so damn over it. *sigh*

*disappears into the garden to play with Puppy SinClair*

Doikers 16-09-2010 09:00 PM

*Hands Kahlia some cough sweets*

Right well , I'm off to bed early (Again) I hope I drop of to sleep fairly fast . Numb , Numb , Numb . I want to injure but at the same time I don't want to injure , SO conflicted , In bed I can't, I'm safe there .

*Hugs Wardies*

Scarletdreamer 16-09-2010 09:05 PM

Sleep well, Mark. *cuddles & tucks you into your ward bed* Stay safe & stay strong, big bro. <3

SoMuchMore 16-09-2010 10:35 PM

*hugs april, mark, lindsay, helen, oliver, RYUU, jill, kahlia, heather, taz, crimson, sarah, felicia, and everyone else*

Sorry, can't handle individuals right now. Am thinking of you all. You are all awesome people. Don't forget that.

I'm am just done for the day. you know? like finished, emotionally spent. Yet I still have to meet for a group project and then go to work tonight... so I don't get to have time to be emotionally spent.

frenchhorn 16-09-2010 10:40 PM

Sleep well Mark
*hugs April* how are you?
*hugs laura* that sucks when you just want some time, but you have to do lots, hope your group and work goes well.

Just to say the walk myself and my friend are doing, we are now raising money just for charity, two charities the gender trust, a support and info based charity for trans people and the MS society, close to my heart because my mum has MS.

SparkleKitten 16-09-2010 11:41 PM

*hugs all who can accept*

Got a lecturer next year for 2 out of 6 modules and he's a douche. So I'm pretty angry. No recourse either because he's head of department. Grr! He angers me so much, treats everyone like they're 5, and he wonders why he gets over 1000 spam emails a day...

Kahlia1981 17-09-2010 12:32 AM

*hugs Laura* - I hope the group and work go well though I'm sorry to hear you are feeling spent. I hope you manage to get a bit of "me" time at some point as you sound like you've been working yourself pretty hard lately.

Oliver - That charity walk sounds great! I'm glad you managed to find two charities so close to your heart. It must feel good to be able to do something towards them. I felt a bit like I was doing something when I used to participate in the "40 hour Famine". I wish you and your friend the best of luck. *offers hugs*

*hugs Sarah* - That situation with the lecturer sounds frustrating and I can understand why you are angry about it. Sadly though it doesn't change anything. Is there anything you can do - for those modules - to make the situation more survivable?

Sorry for just doing individuals from this page, I kept getting myself confused and decided that it would mean the least people getting accidentally left out or mixed up. I am thinking of you all however.

Doikers 17-09-2010 10:51 AM

*Hugs April*

*Hugs Laura*I hope last night went okay for you .

*Hugs Oliver* It is so grat you are doing stuff for charitys you care about:)

*Hugs Sarah*I'm sorry you have a tutor who you don't like :(

*Hugs Kahlia*

I just about managed to pull myself out of bed late this morning , Depression and the Numbing effects of meds make it hard to get up some days . Anyway, now I'm up . I hope everyone is doing okay .

Scarletdreamer 17-09-2010 12:19 PM

Goodness, it's been a bit quiet...

*cuddles all*

Once again, no individuals... damn it, am I just getting lazy? :'( I do want to reply to you guys but I just have no "energy"... yet I have "energy" to blather on and on about myself? UGH. :'(

Anyway. Jarrod's got his job stuff sorted and will be going back to work on Monday. So that's a good thing. No backpay though, which kind of bites - 3 weeks (+3 months of furlough) where we basically got no money at all (well, the 3 months we got unemployment, so that was something at least, but these past 3 weeks we've gotten nothing at all :-S). But... no more worries 'cause he's back at work soon. WHEW!!! He's on a LCA (last chance agreement) which means that if he's caught doing whatever safety gaffe they thought he was doing before (he wasn't, it was the other guy involved that was doing the stuff wrong) or doing ANYTHING badly safety-wise then he's going to be "terminated" (i.e., fired). BLAH. So he's going to be damned careful... :-/ I'm a little scared about the LCA as it really is bullshit but oh well... he said he accepted it because he just wanted to get back to work. Makes sense I guess... but still, bullshit.


That's all of my news, really. Except I found out when my training for my job will be, so you can expect me to be scarce about here from 11-15 October and 25-29 October. Blah. I don't really want to go but at the same time I do... and I'm also rather quite terrified about the whole ordeal. I have no idea if I'm the one that's supposed to see about getting a room at the hotel we'll be staying at, or if the place I'm working for will see to that... no idea who's paying for it... no idea what I'm supposed to wear, even. I have basically been given NO DETAILS. All I know is when and where it is, and what hotel they THINK I will be staying in. :( But at least I know that much.

Okay, I'll shut up now. :-/

Doikers 17-09-2010 12:23 PM

*Hugs April* I'm glad Jarrod got his job again but it sucks that he is on a LCA.
I hope your training goes well , can you ring them up and find out about the hotel stuff?

shadowedsoul 17-09-2010 12:34 PM

Cuddles aLl erm keep having panic attacks today, and can't seam to calm myself down. That and muppets drivers that drive to fast and don't look were there going. So erm yeah having a great day so far. Woohoo

Kahlia1981 17-09-2010 01:34 PM

*cuddles all who can accept && waves at everyone else*

*huggles Mark* - How are you going? Are you doing any better after struggling to get out of bed?

*gently hugs April* - Sorry to hear about Jarrod and the LCA. I hope things go well. I also hope your training goes well. Like Mark asked, can you phone and ask about the details? Don't fash (stress) yourself about not having the energy to do individual replies hun there's a lot of people and the ward can move fast at times. Just please keep writing and keeping us in the know.

*glomps Jill* - Sorry to hear you are having panic attacks, and dealing with crazy drivers is never fun. I hope that your day improves. *crosses fingers*

*sigh* It's been a long day and my brain doesn't think it's over yet. I had a GP visit that went well and several other things and I'm still alive and functioning. My psychiatrist is in for a shock when I see him next though ... I'm going to tell him that he's going to take me off a medication. Our goal was to reduce my medication and instead we've increased it. Really not happy. And since he wrote to me GP that my entire mental state is completely "in remission" he shouldn't mind. Meh. Depressed and suicidal but in remission.

risenfromperdition 17-09-2010 01:46 PM

you's not lazy april <3
*hugs everyone that wants*
will be back later... class til 11:50

funny story of how tired i am... i got coffee from starbucks... aaaand almost left when i got my change without remembering to wait for the drink til i got to the door >.>

Doikers 17-09-2010 02:11 PM

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm glad your GP appoinment went well and that you are still alive and functioning . Are you going to go onto a different med after you stop this one , be careful coming off it , Pysch meds have withdrawel symtoms sometimes , don't just stop cold turkey , let your pdoc taper it off for you I reckon.

*Hugs Heather* Heh glad you got your coffee in the end :) I've Never ever been in a Starbucks.

I tried to nap but just lay there all awake and thinking for an hour :(

life-hurts 17-09-2010 02:44 PM


I was just wondering if I could check in for a little while. I'm going through a rough patch at the moment and not always feeling very safe. Although I've turned down the day hospital locally an online version seems a bit more comfortable.

I'm new to the forums generally so none of you know much about me. I've written a short bit on the intro board but just to summarise that, I've self injured since I was 20, I stopped for several years and then started again earlier this year. I have been feeling very suicidal but that seems to be getting better, the medication seems to be helping with that. However it does seem that as the suicidal thoughts become more under control the self harm thought seem to take over. Last week I took an overdose (not trying to kill myself) and I'm not even sure why.

Well that's enough about me. A big hello to you all. I hope I can be of help to others on here, as much as I think that this will be of help to me.

Doikers 17-09-2010 02:54 PM

Hi Life-hurts , welcome to the ward , I'm Mark :) I'll just pop along to the intros board and read your post :)

misskitty112 17-09-2010 03:47 PM

Hi Life-hurts! I'm Felicia. :)

I hope everyone's better than I am. I don't see how I'm going to ever make it out of this depressed stage. *sigh*

Doikers 17-09-2010 03:57 PM

*Hugs Felicia* You will absolutley get out of this depressed stage , It will happen , meds may help if you are on them but if you're not on meds that doesn't mean your mood won't lift . My nurse expained it to me as people with depression have peaks and troughs in their mood and it sounds to me that you are in a trough but you will get a peak soon , sometimes ( Speaking from personal experiance) my mood just platues(Sp?) , It won't always be this crap :)

misskitty112 17-09-2010 04:10 PM

Thanks. I'm just getting really sick of being so down that I don't care about anything.
I did go to an interest meeting for the local sorority last night. It was cool. I still miss being in a national, though, which makes me worse cause I can't go on facebook without seeing some Delta Zeta bragging about how they love their new sisters. We see how much they loved me, right? Mhm. It's rather painful.

Doikers 17-09-2010 04:16 PM

Hmmm could you delete those Delta Zeta's from your facebook account? You don't need that shoved in your face as soon as you log on :S

shadowedsoul 17-09-2010 04:35 PM

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!, curls up hits head on wall.

risenfromperdition 17-09-2010 05:09 PM

i agree with mark felicia <3 kinda how i feel seeing all my uni friends and how much fun they're having in senior year whilst im stuck here at home [community college but still]

*turns wall to bouncy material so cant hurt head* <3

i spies lia :)

The One Who 17-09-2010 05:53 PM

*hugs everyone*

SoMuchMore 17-09-2010 06:11 PM

*hugs heather* lol i'm glad you remembered you coffee. sorry i havent been around much of fb, uni and work are keeping me busy

*hugs life hurts* welcome! I'm Laura. Sorry that you are having a rough time right now. We are here to listen if you need to chat.

*hugs claire* how r u today?

*hugs mark* im sorry that you didnt get a nap in. How else are you feeling today?

*hugs felicia* Mark is probably right, or you could at least hide them from popping up on your news feed if you don't want to delete them completely. Also, you will get out of this low state. It just takes time and patience... but it will happen.

*hugs kahlia* I hope that the doctors appointments go well. And is it okay to go off your meds while you are depressed and suicidal? (i hope that didn't come out wrong... i dont mean to be condescending or anything.. just worried.)

*hugs sarah* im sorry you are stuck with a bad lecturer. I would be really frustrated too. I've had some really bad professors at uni that treat everyone like little kids and think they are the best thing that ever happened to their field, so i can understand where you are coming from. Sorry I dont have much advice.. i've always just dealt with situations like that and kept my mouth shut so.. yea lol.

*hugs oliver* that does sound great about the charity walk! I hope that it goes well and you are able to raise lots of money... but even if you don't, raising awareness is always good :-) plus its awesome that you are doing something to support things that are close to you.

*hugs jill* what happened hun?

*hugs april* Hope that you are feeling less tired today. how else are you doing?

*looks around for helen* Hope you are okay.

Doikers 17-09-2010 06:45 PM

*Hugs Claire* How are you ?

*Hugs Heather* Please be kind to yourself .

*Hugs Jill* Whats going on Jill?

*Hugs Laura* How are you doing with being so busy?

The One Who 17-09-2010 06:47 PM

I'm feeling pretty good today. Had a nice day.

Doikers 17-09-2010 07:17 PM

Cool Claire :) What did you get up to today?

The One Who 17-09-2010 07:19 PM

I spent some time in an old second-hand bookshop. Then I went and saw my old supervisor at uni, we had a nice walk and a coffee and a chat. It was good.

Have you been up to much Mark?

Scarletdreamer 17-09-2010 07:21 PM

That sounds absolutely LOVELY, Claire. :D Secondhand bookshops + coffee with a person with whom it sounds you get along well... mmm nice!!! :) Glad it was a good day for you.

*cuddles all*

The One Who 17-09-2010 07:25 PM

It was very nice, it was a good day.

*hugs for everyone*

SparkleKitten 17-09-2010 07:26 PM

Had a bad day, people were pretty mean to me and I broke down crying, curled in a ball on my fiance's sofa :( Got money worries and uni problems with things I have to print, 50+ pages and thats only 1 of 5. Feeling kinda hopeless.

Doikers 17-09-2010 07:30 PM

I've not been up to much Claire some days I have no appointments some days I have one zillion appointments!! Well 3 or 4 heh .
To be honest I've NOT been feeling too good , just a little low I guess , sorry :S

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