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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

xxjuliexx 05-08-2010 07:02 AM

hi everyone

shadowedsoul 05-08-2010 07:44 AM

Arghh!!!! how can life be so unfair, just waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan now. We got to do somthing that a person will not like, that she fighting us on since this happened now we got no choice. Because she at seen as a danger to herself. Feel so mixed up got way to many thoughts running through my head not all good ones I'm breaking down and I can't need to be strong for my perents sake. Cries and rockes.

Kahlia1981 05-08-2010 08:11 AM

Jill: *offers huggles* Wish I could do more . . .
Julie: Hiya! How are you doing? *offers hugs*
Nicole (MID): Yay! Glad you got the job hun. Sorry to hear you are missing loved ones. I'm sure they are missing you too. Also sorry to hear that your head is not playing nicely. I hope things start to improve. *sends big, calming and supportive hugs*
Felicia: *hugs you* Sorry to hear you sh. Please take care of yourself first, then let the rest take care of itself. Sorry, I know that sounds stupid, but don't stress yourself about having to come clean to your t before your have to.
Laura: *finds you using my special anti-invisibility cloak and gives you a big cuddle* How are you doing sweetness?
April: *finds you with her special "April detector" and huggles you* You would probably (or maybe not) be surprised by how often you find the Wow thing when you're studying IT. Like seriously, it's freaky. Not to mention funny sometimes when you start talking to these supposed "IT specialists" about upgrading their computers. Seriously, sometimes that has me and my housemate in convulsions!! The upgrade their graphics card so that they can get "better resolution" but don't upgrade their monitor . . . so the monitor resolution combined with refresh rate etc is less than the graphics card so they've just wasted their money!! Oops, sorry didn't mean to start that on you. Hope you are doing okay.
Oliver: *hugs Oliver* How are you doing now hun? Any better?
Helen: *huggles you* Hope you are doing okay sweetheart.

To everyone I've missed: *offers hugs* How are you going? Hoping that you are doing okay.

Personally I'm not doing brilliantly. My head is not playing nicely and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. But I guess I'll get through because I always do. I just don't know how. *shrugs*

MammaMia 05-08-2010 11:00 AM

*cuddles everyone lots*

Sorry we're all still struggling =[

Doikers 05-08-2010 11:13 AM

* Hugs Everyone*

Had a phone call this morning , well a message and I rang them back , my Lithium is being put up to 1200mg daily , which , typing it out looks a lot hmmm But I'm already on 1000mg so it's the smallest jump I can do I guess , I hope it knocks me out of this Numb/ low/ depression state. My P Doc didn't write me a perscription out though so I re-rang them to ask for one because I'd run out of Lithium otherwise :S

Sorry for lack of individuals , my head is racing , meds wise ,
Also , now I have to have weekly Lithium bloods taken , hmmm okay.

*Spots Helen and Hugs*

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 11:31 AM

*spies Mark & Kahlia & glomps* :D

Sorry no individuals right now. I just got up, practically (well okay, did my morning stuff other than eating breakfast/taking meds, that'll come later), and am still kind of in a sleepy, out-of-it zone. :(

Feel really low. I hope Tegretol comes in the mail today... :-S If not I will have stopped trusting this whole mail-order meds thing cos they emailed me like a week ago saying they'd got my order, and on the order form I marked "next-day mail" - next business day - and so it SHOULD'VE arrived Monday or Tuesday... :'(

*hides invisibly with Laura, after using my detect-Laura sense to tell me where she was*

Doikers 05-08-2010 11:31 AM

*Spots Kahlia(Up late) and April(Up Early) and hugs*

MammaMia 05-08-2010 01:12 PM

I hate the job centre so much, what gives them the right to think they can treat GOOD people **** and like they're timewasters??? *hides, screams and cries* I actually want to cut, but it's not ****ing worth it :'(

Doikers 05-08-2010 01:13 PM

*Spots Jessica and Hugs* How are you ?

Doikers 05-08-2010 01:17 PM

Oh Helen *Hugs* I'm sorry you were treated badly :( they really aren't worth cutting over though like you said , try to stay strong

MammaMia 05-08-2010 01:20 PM

*hugs Mark* I'm in tears, how pathetic...

Doikers 05-08-2010 01:33 PM

*Huge Hugs for Helen* You're NOT pathetic , you're upset and rightly so if you've been treated badly by people in a position of authority *Hands over a tissue for the tears*

wolfos3d 05-08-2010 01:39 PM

*hugs Mark* I'm alright. Really tired. I handed over my blades today. Not sure how I really feel about that yet.

*cuddles Helen* That's not pathetic at all.

Doikers 05-08-2010 01:43 PM

Wow Jessica * Hugs* Handing over your blades is a huge step :) I'm a proud fellow wardie :)

wolfos3d 05-08-2010 01:57 PM

Thanks Mark. *huggles* I can't believe I actually managed to go through with it.

I also got stuff sorted out with my math teacher (and hopefully the other teachers). I had my doctor write a letter for me and I took it to the school coordinator. She spoke to my math teacher and I ended up with an extra set of detailed notes and I can do the test I am behind on anytime this semester.

Doikers 05-08-2010 01:59 PM

OOH thats good news about your teachers :)

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 02:08 PM

*spies Oliver, Mark, & Jess, & glomps* :D

Jess, well done. Proud of you, love. That's a huge step and hopefully you have some (healthy) coping skills in place to do when you feel like you need need need to SI. That's a must (having the skills in place, I mean). *cuddles gently* As Mark said, it's a huge step... and maybe you'll be able to stay SI-free... :)

*cuddles Hels* Not pathetic at all, sweetie. I'd be crying over it as well, being treated like **** for no good reason at all. :( Is there anything I can do to help?? (Sorry, I know I always ask that, but... feels like there should be something I should be able to do to help!!... :( blah.)

*cuddles Mark* How are you doing, big bro?? Oh, and I wanted to say that I think it's awesome how you take the time to reply to people in here, individually... that takes some strength to be able to do, even if you don't think you're helping very much - I'm sure we would all disagree with that, hehe, cos I think you help a lot. :) Anyway, sorry, tangent.

*cuddles Laura* What's up, sweetie?

*cuddles Oliver* Are you feeling any better today??

I think I got everyone and if I missed someone, so sorry... :(

I'm meh. Just got off WoW and was having fun there... for about 3 hours, hah. >_< I love my new guild. And I love my sparklepony!! :P Anyway.

Still feel like **** and I'm not sure why. I just am so sick of life... and I don't see my therapist til the 9th... which means I have to waaaaaaaait to talk about being minorly suicidal and really low and sad. It might all just be because I am not taking much of a mood stabilizer anymore but that definitely doesn't mean it's not frustrating!! :(

Anyway. Ummm... what else... I don't know. :-X

*hides in the warren where no one can find her* :(

wolfos3d 05-08-2010 02:13 PM

Thanks April *cuddles* To be honest, I'm not really sure what I'm going to do to cope. I figured I would come up with something. I've been doing pretty good at resisting urges over the last month and a half so I think I'll be okay.

MammaMia 05-08-2010 02:26 PM

*cuddles all*

Thank you guys. I had a shower and started feeling bit better but I'm ready to burst into tears again (didn't cry much that time). Meh meh meh. I hope I have my normal person next week, or this is going to be pure hell til I get a job :(

*curls up and hides*

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 05:00 PM

Ughh.... *cries softly as she stumbles into the ward*

I feel like ****. I really do. I probably look like it too.

Why is it that suicidal ideation has become so ****ing NORMAL for me that all my husband does when I tell him I'm slightly suicidal is tell me that I'm "going to have to deal with it" myself??

:crying:

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 05:15 PM

Updated my r/v.............

:crying:

Doikers 05-08-2010 05:50 PM

*Humongous Hugs April*
I read your R/V thread.
I'm sorry that you feel that Jarrod doesn't care but I'm sure he would care should anything happen to you . He probably just hasn't made that clear .
Did your meds arrive yet ?

shadowedsoul 05-08-2010 05:54 PM

Cuddles everybody. Hmm today has being horrible from start to finsh. Plus everthing else going on I'm very close to breaking point.

SoMuchMore 05-08-2010 06:01 PM

I spy crimson and mark *cuddles*

*hugs april* I hope that your meds come in today. And with jarrod, do you think that maybe he has desensitized himself to your situation because it hurts too much to deal with? I have a hard time believing he has just given up on you b/c it seems like both you and him love each other very much. Just a thought, anyway, I'm sorry you have to wait so long to see your therapist, maybe she will be of some help with the suicidal ideation.. hopefully.

*hugs helen* I'm sorry that the job center is treating you so badly. It is not pathetic at all to be upset though.

*hugs mark* hope that the lithium change helps.

*hugs jill, nicole, and felicia*

*hugs kahlia* I wish things would settle down a little bit for you, it sounds like you are struggling a lot right now. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help.. Always here to listen though. Glad that you are at least talking to your housemate.

*hugs jess* Giving up your blades is such as huge step! and i'm glad things worked out with that teacher. Hopefully your urges won't get too bad. You can do this!

Struggling with suicide urges today... and the damn SI images that pop into my head randomly. I just want to be over this, and I keep looking backwards to things that have happened and almost re-living them. I know people aren't supposed to look back, and I keep telling myself to stop... but its not that easy.

PoisonedApple 05-08-2010 06:08 PM

*cuddles laura back and leaves care packages on the table*
*goes back into hiding*

one_step_closer 05-08-2010 06:29 PM

*hugs everyone*

I'm so sick of life. I don't think that anyone is going to be able to help me to cope with being mentally ill. My psychologist says that I probably won't be well until i'm in my forties. I can't wait that long. I have to die.

Doikers 05-08-2010 06:45 PM

*Hugs Lindsay*
You don't HAVE to die , you are having a really tough time right now but it WILL get better :)

one_step_closer 05-08-2010 06:48 PM

Thanks Mark, it's just so hard to believe. How are you?

MammaMia 05-08-2010 06:49 PM

*cuddles all*

Struggling. Trying to not let SI and suicide thoughts be there. Meh. Seeing my Dad and hopefully Jane soon :)

*curls up*

SoMuchMore 05-08-2010 06:51 PM

*hugs crimson* you okay?

*hugs lindsay* you don't have to die hun. Please try not to think like that. You will get better, it just takes time. And just because your psychologist says that it could take until your 40s doesn't mean that is the way it will be.

*hugs mark* how r u doing?

*hugs helen* hope you have a good time with your Dad and Jane. Don't let those thoughts get to you! Good job for trying to fight them

MammaMia 05-08-2010 07:00 PM

I hope so too :) I'm trying...

Doikers 05-08-2010 07:04 PM

Thanks everyone for asking how I am :)
I'm OK considering , just a little curious of how my increased dose of Lithium is going to affect me, side affects wise:S . I'm numb still , I really hope the meds can KICK my mind into shape .

*Hugs Lindsay, Crimson, and Helen* I'm gonna Pop out but I'll be back online in 45 minutes or so :) Shop today , it's raining tomorow :)

one_step_closer 05-08-2010 07:17 PM

*cries* I can't do this.

nicole94 05-08-2010 07:38 PM

*hides*

Doikers 05-08-2010 07:55 PM

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Nicole* Whats up ?

nicole94 05-08-2010 08:00 PM

*hugs mark* just really tired and fed up. i love these DBT trips but they put me in such a bad mood :(

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 08:05 PM

*spies Nicole & Mark, & glomps* :D

Nicole, love, what's going on?

Lindsay, as was said on the other page, just cos your pdoc said that you won't be well until you're in your 40s, doesn't mean that that's how it's going to pan out. They aren't God. They can't tell you just exactly when you'll get better. Could be quite a lot sooner... and you don't have to die, you have to keep fighting, even though it's really really tough. It'll be worth it, I promise. *gentle hugs*

Mark, I hope that your new lithium amount will help as well. Have you found it useful in the past?? I think I was on 1200mg/day as well, of lithium, way back in the day (2006? I think), but since my problems mostly aren't biochemical, it didn't help a lot. Just like the ECT didn't help a lot. Anyway. *cuddles*

*cuddles Hels* Are you looking forward to seeing your dad and Jane? Sounded like it, which is good. How'd the chat with them go? I think you said that your dad was angry, but not at you... but I can't remember how exactly it went. Sorry. :-X

*cuddles Laura* How are you doing now, love?

*cuddles Jill* What's up, sweetie? care to talk about it in any more depth?

*cuddles Crimson* Haven't heard from you in awhile, how are things going?

Thanks to all who responded to my post and/or r/v. I know that Jarrod does care, and Laura, you're probably right in saying that he's just desensitized himself as it hurts too much to really keep seeing/feeling... but still... it makes me feel like he doesn't care anymore, whether or not that's the case (and I don't think it is - but thinking and feeling are two very different things!!). Ugh. Why me, why now, why ever, why anyone?! :(

Have been pretty useless today... but... my meds did come!!! Woohoo. XD So now I have my Tegretol... or so I hope, haven't opened the package yet. Probably should do that, heh. How I despise mail-ordering meds!!!!! :(

The eye twitch hasn't been back... so that is relieving.

*cuddles everyone I didn't mention, and those that I did as well* :)

shadowedsoul 05-08-2010 08:26 PM

sorry but I really can't handle this anymore. I'm so scared that's somthing is going to happen to my dad he under so much stress. He trying to act tough but I'm so scared no matter if he says noithing going to happen. Same goes for my mum scared she going to try somthing, my mum already said when she was depressed that she thought about killing herself. Just want to dissapear off the face of the earth.

Doikers 05-08-2010 08:42 PM

*Hugs Jill* I'm sorry your family is having such a hard time :(

SoMuchMore 05-08-2010 08:44 PM

Can I please have hugs.. I know i'm pathetic but... i really need them right now. I'm so overwhelmed.

Doikers 05-08-2010 08:52 PM

*Super-Hugs Laura* It's not pathetic Laura, people need hugs somtimes :)

SoMuchMore 05-08-2010 09:16 PM

thanks mark *hugs back*

i wish i could believe that i am not a pathetic, useless human being. I'm so scared of everything. I need to be a stronger person.

Doikers 05-08-2010 09:21 PM

*Hugs Laura* You're NOT pathetic or Useless . As for being scared , we all get scared sometimes , it's natural . I reckon your stronger than you give yourself credit for *Extra Hugs*

MammaMia 05-08-2010 09:24 PM

*cuddles everyone super tight*

April, it went really well. I only saw my Dad tonight. But yeah. Ended up crying at one point. About same thing I was crying about earlier. Was talking to my Dad more about that stuff aswell....was interesting...

Scarletdreamer 05-08-2010 09:29 PM

Aw Laura, hon, you sound like me. *big big cuddles* I'm scared a lot and don't think I'm a strong person either... but then, look at what both of us have gone through, and have come out of or are still working through... and it's clear that we're not as weak as we think we are. *more cuddles* It's also not pathetic to need hugs, remember, I asked for them last night. PM me anytime, 'kay? I'm here if you need to talk. <3

Hels *cuddles* So glad that the talk went okay, and remember also, that crying is okay. May feel awkward and odd but it's alright. Especially because it's your dad and he cares for you, may not know how to comfort you (men often don't), but I'm sure he didn't mind. *more cuddles for you too*

Mark, how're you doing tonight?? *cuddles*

Jill, love, am so sorry to hear that your family's having so much difficulty. I'm here, as I said to Laura, if you need to talk more. *cuddles*

Doikers 05-08-2010 09:41 PM

*Cuddles April* I'm watching a movie called "Red Mist" , there was one scene where a character has his trousers pulled down and has S.I. scars/wounds. It's triggered me , I honestly didn't see it coming . :S Other than that and being NUMB (Still) I'm just existing . *Sigh* Sorry

MammaMia 05-08-2010 09:57 PM

He really does care about me. Got lots of hugs today. Bless him. *cuddles April back*

Doikers 05-08-2010 10:03 PM

Awwh thats great Helen:D

SoMuchMore 05-08-2010 10:04 PM

*hugs april* thanks.. i might PM you later about some things.

*hugs mark* thanks for talking to me. i'm sorry that movie triggered you. I hate unexpected triggers.

*hugs helen* im glad your dad is being supportive of you. Its good to get lots of hugs.

Ugh... just want to give up

Doikers 05-08-2010 10:25 PM

Quote:

*hugs mark* thanks for talking to me.
Thats totally alright Laura :)
Quote:

Ugh... just want to give up
"I won't give up if you don't give up" your Sig Laura , Try not to give up, I know it's hard but you CAN do it , I completly beleive in you :)


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