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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 12-07-2010 10:01 AM

Morning Wardies.
*Group Hugs*
*Hugs Hope is overated especially*
Gosh I'm so tired , one coffee in me one beside me heh.
I'm feeling........I don't know :S anxious , this is the first time I'm meeting my volunteer lady since she guessed I S.I. , Being low doesen't help *Sigh and Yawn*

Edit: Am I really Low? , It's hard to tell , I'm numb for sure , Its just all so hard to tell hmmmm

wolfos3d 12-07-2010 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by I'mJustMe (Post 2397361)
Jess- You're a strong and beautiful person and love being you for those reasons alone. I don't know how the triggering thoughts ended up as the post was a while ago. A later post may inform me and I will add if it does, but if you did fight continue to do so because you're strong and can do it. :) Anything in particular that brought on the triggering? We are all here to listen if you want us to.

Thanks a lot Lia. *huggles* I managed to resist the urges. It'll be three weeks free on Wednesday. I need to at least make it until then. I think the reason for the triggering was that I was annoyed at having wasted my afternoon off, still being tired, and the fact that I was hungry when I woke up. :/ Very exciting, eh? Managed to get pretty triggered today too. Not entirely sure why.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2397376)
Jess, sorry you missed your first class but hopefully it won't matter too much!! *cuddles gently* Did you sleep okay? i.e., did you get some sleep? I forget if you said anything, sorry, brain like a sieve. :-S

*cuddles April* I actually made it to my first class. I was just and hour and twenty minutes late. xD I did manage some sleep. I don't think tonight will be very good for it though. It's almost 9 pm already and I'm in no way tired.

*hugs to everyone* :)

Kahlia1981 12-07-2010 12:23 PM

*huggles/waves at everyone*

crashing and burning. crashing and burning. sorry. talk too much. especially about myself.

sorry i can't help you all. wish that i could, but i can't. sorry.

*hugs and no-cal treats for everyone*

MammaMia 12-07-2010 12:27 PM

*cuddles everyone especially Kahlia*

You don't talk too much about yourself. We're here for you sweetheart.

Scarletdreamer 12-07-2010 12:39 PM

Kahlia, love, you don't talk too much about yourself, not at all. *cuddles gently* What's going on, sweet?

*cuddles Jess* Lol, an hour & 20 minutes late... epic. ;) At least you made it though - how long are your classes? are these the 4-hour-long ones that you've mentioned? (if it were you that mentioned them - I forget!! :o) Hopefully you manage to get some sleep tonight... insomnia sucks... *extra sleepifying hugs* :)

*cuddles Mark* I'm sorry that you feel numb... :( That sucks. I wish I could help you in some way or another. Maybe try updating your LJ (or r/v) would help you figure out how you're feeling, exactly? I have the same problem, I'm not sure if I'm okay or low or just exactly what. :-X I hate feeling this way, and I'm sure you do too. :( PM or email me if you want. I won't be in the apartment all day but I'll be able to respond. :)

hope.is.overrated, I'm sorry to hear about all that's been going on with you... :( *hugs if okay?* Is there anything that we can do? This is a very accepting & welcoming bunch, and we are here to help & support. :) My PM box is open all the time as are other people's... so if you need to talk privately with someone, I'm here, as are others. :) Welcome.

I don't know how I'm doing. I think I'm kinda lowish but kinda okayish at the same time... I really don't know. :-S Jarrod found out this morning that you have to start basic training for the air force by your 28th birthday and he turned 28 on 1 January of this year... so damn close!! We're going to see the recruiter today sometime to see if he could be accepted anyway. If not, he's looking at the army. I'm worried for him... but if he wants to do that, then so be it. I will support him. And I have to admit, I'm still kind of excited about a change in our lives, getting out of this area, etc.

Guh. Basic training and advanced would suck, though, because I'd probably not be able to be with/near him then. And that's a good what, 4 months at least? :-X

I haven't cut since Wednesday. I am counting this as a good thing. I made it through last night by going to bed and falling asleep by 9pm... felt soo good to curl up in bed and just forget about everything...

Anyway. :-X Sorry for blathering on about myself... :(

MammaMia 12-07-2010 12:50 PM

Is my invisibility cloak working again =P

shadowedsoul 12-07-2010 02:30 PM

Hmm I feel very hmm can't explain it, very jumpy can stay still for a sec, stuiped thoughts are still there.feel if I acted on them I wouldn't beable to stop my self and that scares me. Will try and answer the pm today April. Huggles

wolfos3d 12-07-2010 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scarletdreamer (Post 2397906)
*cuddles Jess* Lol, an hour & 20 minutes late... epic. ;) At least you made it though - how long are your classes? are these the 4-hour-long ones that you've mentioned? (if it were you that mentioned them - I forget!! :o) Hopefully you manage to get some sleep tonight... insomnia sucks... *extra sleepifying hugs* :)

It was epic. It was also a two hour class. It was made even better in the next class when my psychology teacher asked if any of us had trouble getting out of bed when the alarm went off. She was quite impressed. xD

As for the insomnia, it's 11:30 PM-ish, I'm doing laundry, designing badges and working on a business deal that is currently looking like it will pan out in my favour.

Oh, and *huge huggles*

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 2397915)
Is my invisibility cloak working again =P

WHO SAID THAT? O_O

MammaMia 12-07-2010 02:32 PM

I...said....it?

wolfos3d 12-07-2010 02:56 PM

Oh, it must be working then. ;) *hugs*

MammaMia 12-07-2010 03:12 PM

Mmm *hugs*

wolfos3d 12-07-2010 03:14 PM

Sorry, sleep deprivation is killing me.

MammaMia 12-07-2010 03:26 PM

It's okay ::)

I'mJustMe 12-07-2010 03:57 PM

Hi guys, I feel I should have been here for some people last night because I replied and then vanished without replying to their replies (still with me?) So sorry about that.

April- I don't know if that's a good thing or not about Jerrod. I know you were wary about him joining the air force, but I should imagine the army would be even worse. Still, he might still be able to join the AF though. Hopefully, if that's what you both want. Even if you do have to go 4 months without him, you can get through it. I know you need him, I feel the same only not about your husband, obviously. But I guess I can do this and so can you. You'll still love each other and still get to see each other whatever happens, so that'something at least. Plus, you'll get to have those cheesy running across air port greetings with plenty of crying and hugging, I've always wanted to have one of those :)

Hey Helen- How's things today? I hope you're OK and all. Do you feel invisible? Is that what you meant? If you did, you're not invisible to us, we see and hear you and you can always come here. :)

Jess- Sorry you seem to be stuggling with sleep and things. You can come on here at, like, 3am though. The really great thing about RYL is there's always someone online, whatever the time. Maybe there's something you can take to help you sleep, if you aren't already.

Kahlia- You don't talk about yourself too much, anyway, better than than not enough so you bottle it all up and feel like you're gonna explode then when you really need someone there's no one there because some tosser (i.e yourself) has pushed them all away. Not like some people I could mention. You are always welcome to post and rant on here and no one's going to stop you. How's the anxiety today? Are you going to get any extra treatment? Hope it goes better for you. *Hugs*

Mark- Hi. You any better? You say you don't know how you feel and although this kinda defys the point, I know the feeling and it's so frustrating not even knowing your own mind and scary too. It means there's nothing you can even do to improve your mood because you don't even know if you're in one! I often find just distracting myself cheers me up mind. I watch some crap on tv, or I write. I've actually taken to writing fanfiction and am really wishing I was back in school. You have to have some form of hobby, something you enjoy doing. If not, use this time you have nothing to do in the make yourself one. That will distract you.

I am going to have to go back to the previous page and check out other posts to reply to, so I'll be right back in another post!

*Hugs to all else who want them and tea and low carbs buisuits to others*

xxx

nicole94 12-07-2010 04:02 PM

*sits*

I'mJustMe 12-07-2010 04:04 PM

Michelle- *Massive hugs if you want them* I'm sorry you're strugggling so much at the moment. You can always come on here and talk to us if you're feeling lonely. Is there anyone else you can talk to? I know how you feel about losing friends, I feel I am drifting away from half of mine because I keep people at arm's length and although I love all my friends to bits, I never really allow them to get as close as I would like. I had one who used to text me all the time if I wasn't on msn to bully me online, but she doesn't anymore and I know that's my fault. We're always here if you need someone though. Check your local area for vacancies and things. Even if you can't find anything big, there's bound to be a job in a shop going or something. If nothing else it will provide a distraction from day to day life. *Hugs again* You don't have to be alone in this. xx

*Hugs Jill too* Sorry you feel that way sweet. Please do try to resist the urges because you are worth it, you're worth stopping for and you deserve to be happy. Do something to distract yourself, keep your hands busy. Even jus typing can do that. Ramble on here, I do it all the time. I think I am now. I'm just a natural talker and once I start I don't shut up until I make myself because I think I am getting on people's nerves which might be right about now so I'll stop typing. Stay strong. :)

Oh hello Nicole. Sorry I didn't reply to that other thread! I pretty much collapsed in bed. I'll go now though if you still need the support. How are you?


Heather, Laura, how are you both today?
xxx

nicole94 12-07-2010 04:28 PM

hey. im pretty **** TBH, got flu and am really suicidal and triggerd and i feel like theres nothing left for me here, i lost the last thing i had saturday night when i was stupid enough to self harm whilst babysitting my cousins little boy :( yes please i could still really do with some advice.

MammaMia 12-07-2010 04:39 PM

Lia, hey sweetheart. Things are a little better than yesterday :) Still feeling low mind you, trying to do stuff that can't be avoided any longer, but it's hard >_> I do feel invisible sometimes. The invisibility is an old joke between me & April, as sometimes she (and others) would 'miss' my posts when making replies to all/most as I popped in so quick and didn't appear on the active list. I do feel bit invisible to some people. But I appreciate a lot of of us are struggling and my paranoia is bit higher than usual. I should hope I can always come here =P I'm the one who's stayed the longest now *giggles* Nah I kid, we all deserve to be heard here, but I really have stayed the longest =]

Nicole, I'm sorry you're ill and suicidal. Try look after yourself and be kind to you. Please?? *cuddles*

Doikers 12-07-2010 04:47 PM

*Hugs Jill*

nicole94 12-07-2010 04:49 PM

*hugs helen* i will sweetie, and you try and keep safe. tbh, i just wanna get away from here now, i only came back off holiday friday and i already need another one!

Doikers 12-07-2010 04:54 PM

ooooh I "Lost" a whole page .
Please take care Nicole *Hugs*
*Hugs Jessica*

nicole94 12-07-2010 05:02 PM

*hugs mark* i just wanna get away from it all. i wanna go back to butlins where i felt happy and safe :(

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 05:50 PM

Quote:

Sorry no individual replies at the moment... I feel so selfish for not... but... oh, I don't know. Jarrod & I talked more about the Air Force last night & it seems more doable now that I know that (probably?) for advanced training I could live with him on the base. At least, that's what it seemed to indicate on their website... not positive though. Crimson, do you have any illumination on this? :-S Because I really don't want to be living on my own for weeks/months on end... I don't think I'd do too well. Anyway. :-/
When I was in AIT we had to live in the barracks with little more freedom than Basic Training... that being said that was 10 yrs ago and a different branch of the military and may have changed if it sounded different on the website. You could call a recruiter's office and double check. My husband's uncle was air force and I could ask him about it but since he was in technical training a long while ago it's got a good chance at having changed since then.

Quote:

I Met April on here , but I know her all over the net , sadly due to geography not met in person .
Stupid geography... It'd be awesome if we could have a RYL VPW meet up and just all teleport to the same place lol

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 06:00 PM

Quote:

April- I know what you're saying has a point, but my life isn't half as bad as loads of people on here and it makes me feel so pathetic. People have been through so much worse and I have no right to come here and ask for support when others need and deserve it so much more, savvy? Glad you're still sort of ok, even if not completly woo! I'm not as happy as I was before, but I've not gone into ultra depression either, so that's bang tidy.
Note before I comment* Having no idea what you've been through and blocking out a good deal of my youth I am not saying what I have been through is less or more horrific than you but I do have to comment on this...

1- You have just as much right as anyone else to come here. Who's to say that you have or haven't been through 'enough' to have that right?
2-you deserve support as much as anyone else. And who's to say you do or do not need or deserve help?
3-Some of us actually feel better getting out of our own minds to help other people that need support.

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 06:09 PM

Quote:

hm.. i feel like i killed the conversation earlier in here. i'm sorry.

irrational i know... but feeling like its my fault anyway.
I know that feeling... I feel like that often. It's hard but you just have to remember real life can get in the way and some of us are literally on the other side of the world. *hugs*

*cuddles Oliver* I'm sorry you had a flashback and that it got worse than usual because you couldn't cut with your gf there to snap you out of it. Maybe you could talk to her about that helping to snap you out of it. See if she could handle that or would be willing to leave the room if it happens again... She stayed with you and tried to help even when it got bad though, she sounds like a keeper. ;)

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 06:15 PM

Quote:

It's been pretty much decided, then, I suppose - we're going to go see the Air Force recruiter tomorrow - "we" so I can ask some questions and just basically learn about the Air Force and Jarrod so he can take a sample ASVAB and see where his abilities lie. I'm really nervous about this step - it's so freaking huge!! - but at the same time, excited. I don't know... basic training's gonna be tough because that'll mean 8 weeks apart - but at least it's not a year - and from what it SOUNDED like on their website, maybe I can live with him (on base) for advanced training? (Crimson, do you have any idea if that's true or not?... Sorry for keeping on bugging you about military stuff!!) I don't know. In any case, this is just to see... but it's our plan.
It's good that you are going to go too. And remember he has to sign/ swear in 2x before he's in. once when he gets all the basic stuff done then once before he leaves for basic. He IS NOT enlisted until that second time. I just want you to know because when I enlisted I did not know that and was told I couldn't post pone leaving till my grandfather died (he had 6 months according to his dr -we found out a week before I was set to leave- and he died after 1... ) so I was quite upset and irate...

*sorry guys for so many posts but I'm replying at the end of each page so I don't lose what I've copy/pasted...

MammaMia 12-07-2010 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2398252)
*hugs helen* i will sweetie, and you try and keep safe. tbh, i just wanna get away from here now, i only came back off holiday friday and i already need another one!

*hugs Nicole* I will try sweetheart. Think we all get that feeling of needing another holiday soon after we're back haha!!!

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 06:23 PM

Quote:

Guh. Basic training and advanced would suck, though, because I'd probably not be able to be with/near him then. And that's a good what, 4 months at least? :-X
Odd thought April but since you were looking into res could you go res while he's doing training? Have your parents watch Daniel and have them added to you guys' bank acct to pay your bills while you aren't there?

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 06:36 PM

WooHoo! Caught up!

*huggles everyone*
nicole- i'm off to read your other thread (so I know what's going on).

SoMuchMore 12-07-2010 07:12 PM

Nice job on the replies crimson! *hugs* how r u doing?

*hugs everyone else* feel bad for not doing individual replies but i just cant right now. So sorry everyone.

Might go back to sleep.. dont have much point in staying awake right now. i wish someone would see me.. i mean really see me. feeling alone.

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:15 PM

Thank you, Laura.
*hugs back*
I'm ok so far today. Not getting much work done (though I should since D isn't getting files closed so I could be getting caught up...) just not super motivated. Trying to follow my written routine and do stuff 15 min at a time...
How are you doing this morning?

SoMuchMore 12-07-2010 07:22 PM

*sends over some motivating juice and music so you can get a lot done* :-) The 15 min of work at a time thing can work really well though, hope that you can get some stuff done.

well its 1:20 in the afternoon here, so not morning anymore lol.. but its been alright i guess.. returned my rental car after going back to my hometown over the weekend b/c my mom has been in and out of the hospital.. Other than that just generally feeling low/lonely/blah. I'll be okay tho, always am.

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 07:35 PM

lol yeah I guess it isn't morning for ya anymore... it's just 1030 am here lol
Is your mum doing okay now?
*wanders off to work some more*
Lunch today is gonna suck... I'll be working on essays... Anyone up for proof reading later? lol And I still have to find someone 'qualified' to give me the proctored exam (which I'll probably fail when I get anxious and freak out)

taz35 12-07-2010 08:27 PM

*wanders back in and sits in the corner, trying to catch up on everything*

I'm back. Momentarily at least. We'll see how long I last :)

*big hugs for everyone who wants/needs them*
*care packages for everyone too*

MammaMia 12-07-2010 08:44 PM

Taaaaaaaaz & Lauuurrrrra *squishes you both*

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 08:49 PM

*waves at Taz* I'm not really needing a care pack right now but I'll take one to ferret away for later if you don't mind. How are ya?
*glomps Helen* Hi!

Doikers 12-07-2010 08:49 PM

*Hugs Laura * How is your Mum? That must be a worry you don't need.......

*Hugs Crimson* It's hard to get motivated isn't it?! I struggle too

* Spots Helen and HUGS*

TAZ!!*Hugs*I missed you :)

taz35 12-07-2010 08:50 PM

*jokingly tries to push Helen away* :) How have you been?

Obviously I need to work on my speed at responding :P

*waves at Crimson* They don't have expiry dates, they're good forever!!

*hugs Mark* I missed you too :) How has life been?

Doikers 12-07-2010 09:00 PM

Taz :) Life has been , well its just been , I've been existing with my low mood and numbness , I'm going to ask my social worker if he thinks my anti-depressants might be wearing off , like I've built up a tolerance to them .

HOW ARE YOU?

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 09:03 PM

Quote:

*Hugs Crimson* It's hard to get motivated isn't it?! I struggle too
Definitely is

Quote:

*waves at Crimson* They don't have expiry dates, they're good forever!!
Yay! *makes like a squirrel*

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 09:04 PM

I spy a Julie! and I spy a Helen! and I spy a Mark!
*starts a pillow fight*

Doikers 12-07-2010 09:07 PM

I have a feeling I'm going to miss a lot of posts but I'm tired and have an early morning for me.
Plus I DON'T want to cut and am worried the triggeryness will come back like earlier today.
*Night Time Hugs Wardies* *Leaves Tea of all types on the table and honey for the sweet toothed*

taz35 12-07-2010 09:08 PM

Hmm, sounds like a possibility... but I've never heard of someone developing immunity (in a way) to their anti-depressants. Although I suppose if you were taking them long enough it could happen. Hell, I don't know :/ You've got me questioning that too now! :)

Have a good night's rest Mark, sleep well :)

I'm... alright. I won't get into anything right now because I hate doing the disappearing from the thread act, and coming back in complaining right away. But I'm safe. And that's a good thing right now. Tired, but going to drag my butt to hockey anyway. :)

*grabs 5 pillows and waves them around wildly*

Doikers 12-07-2010 09:08 PM

*Bashes Crimson with a super soft Pillow* Lol

MammaMia 12-07-2010 09:15 PM

*glomps you 3*

Taz, not great, you??

SoMuchMore 12-07-2010 09:26 PM

*tackle hugs helen (but gently, dont wanna injure you lol)* Sorry to hear that you are not doing great right now. Hope you are at least safe.

*glomps taz* welcome back again! we've missed you. feel free to talk about whatever you want, complaining or not, we don't mind. Good that you are safe right now though.

*hugs mark* goodnight! hope you sleep well and avoid SI.

*hugs crimson* hope you got some work done. sorry that your lunch involved more work. That doesn't sound like much fun. good luck on that exam you have to take.

For those that asked, my mom is okay-ish. Thanks. She was having cluster headaches after an car accident, but she hasn't had one in 3 days now so hopefully they will calm down. I was worried, but its a little strange b/c when you see her when not having a headache she seems perfectly normal, not injured/ill at all... so its hard to have all the ups and downs. But things should hopefully be more okay now since its been a few days.

I see I apparently missed a pillow fight *grabs a pillow incase it starts up again*

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 09:32 PM

*throws feather pillows at everyone in the ward before running out to work on the essays*
Mark~ Have a good nap or night (whichever it may be).... hmmm maybe I should just start saying have a good sleep lol
Laura~ Glad she's doing better and hope it stays that way.
Taz~ We don't mind you 'complaining' but glad you're safe. :)

MammaMia 12-07-2010 09:46 PM

Laura, I'm safe at the moment :) *hits you with a pillow* Glad your mum's doing a little bit better, hope she continues to not have them :)

Scarletdreamer 12-07-2010 09:49 PM

Well, Jarrod's signed up for the army, seeing as he's too old for the air force (it's ridiculous really - he is just 7 months too old!!)... he knows that he'll be headed off to basic training sometime after October... so that gives me some time to get used to the idea of him being gone. And Crimson, we've thought of the idea of me going to res while he's at basic (and advanced)... but I'm not sure I want to. Yet at the same time, I don't know what I'd do instead?? :-S

Sorry no individual replies but Taz, good to see you back!! How are you?? besides safe that is (which is lovely). We've missed you!! and it doesn't matter if you're complaining or not. :)

I'm in a bad place mentally right now, even though we just got back from a few-miles-long bike ride (we being Jarrod & I). I'm really worried about him going into the army & how I'll function with him being gone for up to a year at a time... I really don't know. And this is kinda... I don't know, putting MY career on hold? because we'll be moving around so much. I won't be able to go to grad school... I don't know. Is that selfish of me?? :-X because he's intending to make a career out of this and stay in until retirement, if all goes well. And I pray that it does... And then he wants to go to school... and maybe then I can go to grad school. But I really don't know. :( We haven't really talked about that.

Guhhh. Sorry for whinging once again... :-X

PoisonedApple 12-07-2010 10:02 PM

Quote:

Well, Jarrod's signed up for the army, seeing as he's too old for the air force (it's ridiculous really - he is just 7 months too old!!)... he knows that he'll be headed off to basic training sometime after October... so that gives me some time to get used to the idea of him being gone. And Crimson, we've thought of the idea of me going to res while he's at basic (and advanced)... but I'm not sure I want to. Yet at the same time, I don't know what I'd do instead?? :-S

Sorry no individual replies but Taz, good to see you back!! How are you?? besides safe that is (which is lovely). We've missed you!! and it doesn't matter if you're complaining or not. :)

I'm in a bad place mentally right now, even though we just got back from a few-miles-long bike ride (we being Jarrod & I). I'm really worried about him going into the army & how I'll function with him being gone for up to a year at a time... I really don't know. And this is kinda... I don't know, putting MY career on hold? because we'll be moving around so much. I won't be able to go to grad school... I don't know. Is that selfish of me?? :-X because he's intending to make a career out of this and stay in until retirement, if all goes well. And I pray that it does... And then he wants to go to school... and maybe then I can go to grad school. But I really don't know. :( We haven't really talked about that.

Guhhh. Sorry for whinging once again... :-X
Aww honey... Did you at least get to ask all of your questions?
I do think if you are going to do residential treatment that going while he's gone is the best way to go. You would be away from him anyway and going separately would add more time than going while he's gone. Have you looked into graduate schools you can do long distance? I'm not sure if you could but you may want to try talking to someone at base's education center. They typically help soldiers get schooling done through schools that work with them on long distance learning and they may be able to help a dependent the same way. You may also want to check into their 'social work services'. If I remember right you were going to school for psych (feel free to correct me if I'm thinking of the wrong person)... Social work services is a civilian employed place for therapy and such... (not the best wording but c'est la vie)
Does he know what job he wants to make a career of yet?


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