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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

zowie 14-06-2009 02:41 PM

Katie, I'm trying to quit but it's mostly because I want to save my cash not because I'm tired of smoking.
I bought a ten pack last night which was silly, but I think I can still do without cigarettes even after that.
*Crawls into a hole to nurse her hangover*

[Fog] 14-06-2009 03:52 PM

*Whispers for the benefit of anyone with a hangover!*

Hey guys, hope you all got through the night ok and are feeling ok today. I've had quite a quiet day today not been doing too much but I feel alright and relatively calm. Only ate a salad for lunch so that's good.

Hugs and loves to all xxx

shadowedseraph 14-06-2009 05:14 PM

*hugs BigBear* I'm not alright but im putting on the bright face, crisis team told my mum i'd been feeling suicidal. I wish they hadnt she doenst need the stress

*hugs zowie* Never mind, with giving up anything there are slip ups

*hugs Banana* Glad your feeling better

Eclectica 14-06-2009 06:29 PM

My eyes are going funny and I can't concentrate anymore. I feel so ****.

[Fog] 14-06-2009 09:13 PM

*Hugs Shadowed* That sucks, but maybe it would be good to have the extra support?

*Hugs Eclectic*a* Hope you're ok.

I've had an ok, quiet. Just ironing and a bike ride and that kind of thing. Mum made some really nice cake and I had some and then some more and purged it. It was just such nice cake. Why can't I bloody eat and enjoy it like a normal person??

*Bangs head on wall*

shadowedseraph 14-06-2009 09:52 PM

*hugs banana* are you seeing someone about your eating love? it might help

~*Rainbow*~ 14-06-2009 10:12 PM

Okay so now its hit me!!! now i feel the pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

realflifefaerie 14-06-2009 10:44 PM

*hugs Big bear* I hope you got everything you needed to do done. Take it in baby steps.

*hugs Damnation*

*hugs shadowed* its a bit late for OJ, how are you?

*hugs zowie* I hope your hangover eased, and whatever the reason giving up smoking is still positive!

*hugs banana* I can understand that feeling, however focus on the positives. Im around if you want to talk.

*hugs Eclectica*offers blanket?

*hugs Rainbow* are you ok?

I'm really not coping at all, my mother's made a comment thats really triggered me to the extent I want to fast for ages. I just don't know, I want to hide forever.

~Kaytee~ 14-06-2009 11:44 PM

Okies.. just thought I'd let you know I did the essay! not the best, I didn't even reach the word limit oops. But I'm printing it out then I'm off. I'll be back in a few hours and will reply properly. Take care xx

shadowedseraph 15-06-2009 10:01 AM

*hugs secrets* im sorry your mum upset you is there anything we can do to help?

*hugs BigBear* Well done on the essay

*hugs rainbow* how are you feeling today hun

*hugs to anyy others on the ward that want them*

-----

I feel shi**y when will this feeling go away, i just want to feel normal for a change is that too much to ask?

youonlyliveonce 15-06-2009 11:00 AM

hugs secrets how u feeling today.

phone my OT this morning as she said if i needed her to phone i left a message she will be in ward round all morning.im just being silly i shud be able to cope. i cancelled going to a friends bday lunch today because i cudnt face them im such a bad friend. sorry just wasting every1s time.

shadowedseraph 15-06-2009 11:24 AM

*hugs Cheryl* your not wasting everyones time if you can;t cope at the moment then you've done a very sensible thing in asking for help, and your not a bad friend, im sure your mate would understand that your not feeling well and as such dont want to go, its no different than having flu and not being able to go *more hugs*

zowie 15-06-2009 02:00 PM

It's so bloody hot.

Eclectica 15-06-2009 02:09 PM

I plan to get drunk tonight. Or hope somebody comes out and takes over for a while. Head feels pressured mentally and I could hear everybody talking when I woke up from ODing in the night. So I don't remember yesterday at all now. I was 'gone' by abusing the medication.

[Fog] 15-06-2009 04:39 PM

Rainbow - are you ok?

Secrets - sorry to hear about you feeling triggered, I hope you feel better today and got through yesterday. Hypocrite alert but try and keep eating. The last thing you want is for your body to shut down. Even if it's only little bits.

BB - well done!! That's great news, feel proud of yourself :laugh:

Cheryl - you're not wasting anyone's time. And don't feel bad about not going to the lunch. If you're not feeling good, you're allowed to cancel :-) Hope you're feeling better now.

Eclectic*a - hope you're ok and that you've recovered from the OD. Sounds really busy and scary in your head and I hope everyone quietens down in there. Take care sweetie.

Shadowed - what's up, are you ok? About getting help with my eating... I was discharged from the psych ward a week ago and will be seeing the EIT for the first time as an outpatient on Weds so I guess I've just got to wait and see what they've got in store for me. In the psych ward they were crap with EDs and just told me off and told me to "just eat". Made it worse. But I'll just have to wait and see what help is available.

Had a bad night last night, after the cake incident I SHed in the night as punishment. But I'm doing ok today, spoke to my uni about my exam arrangements for September and did some food shopping and stuff so the day is passing by.

Hope everyone is ok xxx

Eclectica 15-06-2009 04:56 PM

Thanks. I'm just tired from it right now, and feeling funny with the systems.

shadowedseraph 15-06-2009 05:02 PM

*hugs banana* I'm sorry the psyche ward were so s*** about your ED hopefully you'll get more support now your outpatient. I'm struggling not to SH or SU at the moment each day is a real struggle, but im seeing the crisis team and they're actually being helpful which is a pleasant change from the team where i used to live!

realflifefaerie 15-06-2009 06:10 PM

I'm stressing now, something that's supposed to be fun is gonna be hard. Stupid food issues

MammaMia 16-06-2009 02:55 AM

Sorry I haven't been around for the past few days, been mainly very down, but with a few ups *nods*

Have counselling today, one big ****ing woop, NOT, so cannot be bothered. Espically as I'm still ****ing awake at 3am (well nearly). :/

shadowedseraph 16-06-2009 10:13 AM

*hugs Secrets* try not to stress honey, stressing will only make it even worse

*hugs MammaMia* Did you get any sleep?

-------

Seeing my OT today which makes me kinda happy as he listens to me

~Kaytee~ 16-06-2009 10:48 AM

Oh secrets *hugs* I know the feeling with the food issues. i hope you still manage to have fun and its not hard for you

*cuddles helen* good luck with counselling!!

shadow, hope its a good one for you :) *hugs*

---
argh I'm stressing over my uni course now =[ need to seriously think about what to do.. going to try to see a career counsellor asap.. =[

shadowedsoul 16-06-2009 11:27 AM

Argh!!!! i give up, this suck so much why dont you just shoot me now, and get it over with. im really begining to regret doing this now. and tina, please go to hell and quit, being an ass, i no that hard for you, but please you are doing my head in. so give it the hell up.

MammaMia 16-06-2009 11:44 AM

I did get some sleep :/ Not long after I wrote that post. Am awake again now. Decided to complete not go to counselling *tuts at self*

zowie 16-06-2009 03:15 PM

I'm pretty much smoking whenever I get money to do it, so I haven't quit and I don't think I will.

Eclectica 16-06-2009 03:26 PM

It's one of my best friend's birthday today...

I don't wanna go out. I can't. I'm not upto it... But I have to... I don't wanna let her down. But he lives in this town... And knows where I go and where I live.

I don't wanna go out. And my head's too ****ed. And I felt happy earlier but now I feel **** again.

zowie 16-06-2009 06:24 PM

*Hugs Kat* xx

Strawberry.Bananas 16-06-2009 06:30 PM

Thanks for the birthday wishes guys!

Sorry I've not replied, turns out that my e-mail's are deciding not to come through from RYL. =/.

How is everybody?
*Hugs for those that need it*

zowie 16-06-2009 06:48 PM

I'm alright thanks Vicki, in quite a wine mood...hopefully my dad will give me some :P
How are you? How was your birthday? xx

Strawberry.Bananas 16-06-2009 08:02 PM

Hmm...be careful if you do hon!
I'm not too bad thank you. My birthday was good! Quiet, but good! :)

shadowedseraph 16-06-2009 08:47 PM

*hugs to all on the ward*

Bigbear - I had a good ot session thanks for your well wishes

zowie - If nows not the time to quit then its not the time *snuggles*

Vicki - Happy Birthday (if slightly belated)

----

Psyche from the crisis team has prescribed me new meds, time to give them a try i think.

zowie 16-06-2009 08:50 PM

Vicki - Glad you had a good birthday.

shadow - thanks. I've cut down a lot, which is good. I can now go a few days without tobacco without getting stressed, but I just can't quit. Good luck with the new meds :)

realflifefaerie 16-06-2009 10:58 PM

Can i have a corner? Please?

youonlyliveonce 16-06-2009 11:01 PM

hugs to everyone that needs it. brings tea and biscuits

well i have got an appoiintment with my OT 2moz another 4 hours its scaring me as she wants to try and see how i react to things this is scaring me as i reacted badley on friday but i guess she will be there this time. still havent done the tasks she asked for but hey. she wants to know how many times ive tried to kill myself and self harmed 2 but i cnt tell her the truth she wont be impressed argh im so scared. sorry

Damnation. 17-06-2009 12:36 AM

Had my mental health appointment (the one that I've been waiting five months for <.<) today. The woman was really nice, very easy to speak to. Talked a bit about sexual 'abuse' from school, the lack of dealing with it, lack of mother's understanding (and the woman agreed with my last counsellor - it was abuse), Mum's boyfriend getting violent, my prick of an ex 'friend' and all this.

She suggested that the void might be to do with my sleeping patterns until I told her that my sleeping patterns have been **** for three years, and the void's only been for like three months. So she's gonna get back to me with an appt for a psychiatrist, and also wants to get me an appt with a doctor to make sure I haven't ****ed up my liver with my ODs. Whoops ._.

~Kaytee~ 17-06-2009 06:24 AM

OMG.. what a day.
First of all I have my assessment next Wednesday. So that actually made me feel really good. I'm thinking YES finally some extra support. YES. I can get more help. THEN guess who we see? We see his ex. The one has a child with him. Grrrrrrr. Nothing happened. He didn't say anything. She didn't even see him. I just.. I'm so damn confused about what to do. I dont know. Why today though? I'm in the middle of studying for exams and I was JUST getting to be on a high again.. and THAT happens. Now I'm just.. uuugghh. And he feels even worse.. blahh.. sorry. No personals at the moment. Will be back later tonight *hugs all*

~Kaytee~ 17-06-2009 06:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damnation. (Post 1691668)
Had my mental health appointment (the one that I've been waiting five months for <.<) today. The woman was really nice, very easy to speak to. Talked a bit about sexual 'abuse' from school, the lack of dealing with it, lack of mother's understanding (and the woman agreed with my last counsellor - it was abuse), Mum's boyfriend getting violent, my prick of an ex 'friend' and all this.

She suggested that the void might be to do with my sleeping patterns until I told her that my sleeping patterns have been **** for three years, and the void's only been for like three months. So she's gonna get back to me with an appt for a psychiatrist, and also wants to get me an appt with a doctor to make sure I haven't ****ed up my liver with my ODs. Whoops ._.

Glad the lady was nice. Must have been hard *hugs* I hope it helps though. Good luck with the drs. Take care x

Kahlia1981 17-06-2009 11:31 AM

*offers hugs to all*

Sorry I haven't been around it's been an emotional time.
:On Monday I had to put my little dog to sleep
:TuesdayI had surgical clinic regarding my shoulder
:Today I had pre-admission clinic and it looks like they are definitely going ahead with the surgery this time
:Next Tuesday my friend Nicole {mouse in darkness} leaves for WA
:Wednesday is my surgery then
:Thursday I have to go and get my hand looked at

It just doesn;t want to stop at the moment.

Dayna - i'm also glad the woman was nice and that you were finally able to have that appointment

Hannah - thanks for the hugs [wildly insane]

zowie 17-06-2009 02:06 PM

*Hugs Secrets* Would you prefer a little stay in the denial tent? There are plenty of corners in there.

*Hugs Cheryl* I think it would be a good idea to tell her the truth. She cant help you properly unless she knows as much as she can.

Glad you finally had your assessment, Dayna. Also glad the woman was nice, what sort of things have they put in place for you?

*Hugs Katie* Ohhh, I'm sorry that happened sweets. Does he not see her much because of the kid?

*Hugs Kahlia* Sometimes when it rains, it pours. I'm really sorry so much crap is happening to you. I really hope things get better for you.

---------

I had a bottle of wine last night, and watched some TV with my dad. It was nice, and then I had a seriously long lie-in :) Feeling a bit drained today. Like I don't really have the energy to do anything. Need a cigarette. Smoked the entire pack yesterday. Damn.

[Fog] 17-06-2009 02:23 PM

Hey guys, sorry I haven't been around much lately. Been dissociating a lot and found it hard to type. Got my family therapy session soon with a whole crowd lol, got the psychologist, two other psychologists who observe, someone from the EIT, plus me, my folks and my boyfriend. Joy lol. Anyway hope you are all doing ok, lots of love and hugs xxx

shadowedseraph 17-06-2009 04:15 PM

*hugs to all on the ward*

Crisis team nurse made me go out for a walk with her today to show that the bad people arent really there, i dont know what to think now because part of me is screaming that she just can't see them but i know they are there. I want to cut badly but i'm not going to. im not.

zowie 17-06-2009 07:22 PM

*Hugs HannahBanana* Good luck at therapy hun.

*Hugs Shadow* I know how hard it is when people tell you things aren't real. Hold onto the thought that you're not going to cut. That's great.

Eclectica 17-06-2009 07:22 PM

Well, **** it. Mum saw the empty razorblade packet in my bag. My friends caught me buying them. Mum's probably told Ken what she saw. My friends are probably gonna freak out one day cause I carry em around. Ken will takl to me about it and warn me not to do it 'cause I'll upset mum. I went to bath and they kept calling my name and asking me questions. Just making sure I wasn't dead. They also went quiet a lot outside the door whenever they passed, listening for me moving. And I heard them whispering. And now i have blood stained on my inner sleeve. Great.

zowie 17-06-2009 07:47 PM

*Hugs Kat*

I'm feeling really tired, which is weird because I woke up ridiculously late today. I'm looking forward to tomorrow, taking my dad to lunch (father's day pressie). I guess it'll have to be an early(ish) night for me. xx

youonlyliveonce 17-06-2009 08:35 PM

thanks for the hug zowie. i was honest it was really hard again 2day. she pushed me really hard. not coping well with it. had a few drinks 2nite i have been rather numb since the appointment. which scares me. got another appointment monday just before i go to work.

realflifefaerie 17-06-2009 09:01 PM

Evening all,
*hugs all round* sorry I don't have time to write individual responses but I shall try over the next few days.

I'm a bit more positive tonight though a corner in the denial tent sounds like a plan for now.

zowie 17-06-2009 11:04 PM

*Curls up with a blanket and goes to sleep*

Eclectica 18-06-2009 12:01 AM

I knew it would happen. Everybodys commenting on my SHing. Again. And I'm sick of it.

I think I'm gonna leave this RYL account. Start new, nobody knowing my new account name. I think my mum somehow has heard what i've been posting on here. Dunno how but for ****s sake. And whatever I post gets commented on by everybody.

If anybody wants to know my new name, PM me. I'm leaving this account for good and no hints on the new account will be left as to who I am.

Not even my splits will post on here. I'm sick of the damned guilt trips everyone does to me. It makes me worse.

Damnation. 18-06-2009 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kahlia1981 (Post 1692337)
Glad you finally had your assessment, Dayna. Also glad the woman was nice, what sort of things have they put in place for you?

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigBear (Post 1691955)
Glad the lady was nice. Must have been hard *hugs* I hope it helps though. Good luck with the drs. Take care x

*Hugs both* Yeah, I'm glad that I've finally had it, too. It was a bit on the hard side, but could've been worse. I think it's just the future appts with the psyche and doctor now to wait for

EDIT: Whoops, I seemed to have combined Kahlia's and Arwen's posts together, lol .__.;

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eclectic*a (Post 1693819)
I knew it would happen. Everybodys commenting on my SHing. Again. And I'm sick of it.

I think I'm gonna leave this RYL account. Start new, nobody knowing my new account name. I think my mum somehow has heard what i've been posting on here. Dunno how but for ****s sake. And whatever I post gets commented on by everybody.

If anybody wants to know my new name, PM me. I'm leaving this account for good and no hints on the new account will be left as to who I am.

Not even my splits will post on here. I'm sick of the damned guilt trips everyone does to me. It makes me worse.

x_x I'm sorry you're having to deal with all the guilt trips and ****, and feel that you have to leave your account

~Kaytee~ 18-06-2009 02:23 AM

Thanks Zowie. It's complicated. Don't want to go into it. Rather forget it.

I don't know how I'm feeling. Pretty faint, so hungry, sick. Another episode. Please let wednesday happen fast. I want these exams over. I'm over everything. I had a dream that my sister started cutting. DAMN DREAM. So triggering.. very bad =[

Kahlia1981 18-06-2009 04:31 AM

I managed to slip my cast off during the night and had to go get a new one put on. But I brought forward my appointment with fracture clinic to Monday so it'll be done before the surgery.

*leavs hugs for all that want and or need them*


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