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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Biba 18-05-2009 03:06 AM

my mood is lifting.. i put up a thread for people to share a song that could lift a spirit.. in general chat.. i had felt really down, and let down in both worlds by not been able to communicate properly.. things are very crapy at home in my real world.. my mum is ill and needs 24hour more or less care, this last two years.. i look after full time, and over this last 12weeks she has been unwell and needing a lot of care, i very rearly get away/do what i want and that can go on for weeks.. i love her and she has a fantastic way in coping with her illness, its been nothing but doctors, nurses hospitals.. and it can wear a person down.. i promised when she gets stronger that we will go on hoilday.. to the Algarve.. a resort and she can relax and enjoy, but she keeps getn sick... i feel insecure.. were i can not talk about when i feel depressed or my s/h .. it's all very much secret in my world.. im afraid id lose the abilty to care for her if i looked for help for me.. and i have every right to feel sceard about that, as she relies on me big time to help her, and i would never want her to be let down or hurt... another nite in here please... im not evenover 60 percent. (goes back to the room for 24hr silence.. just a bed and a window.. no people)

Damnation. 18-05-2009 06:29 AM

Blaaaah I've crashed again.

I can't help feeling like a giant whore, and I hate it. I hate myself for it

Long*Past 18-05-2009 07:47 AM

I can feel my mood starting to decline.
My mood swings are being so crazy!
I hate this!
I've been so low, and then I perked up for a few days, and now I'm going down again...

What the hell is wrong with me!?

I have to be perked up for tomorrow, as I have a date, which is kinda cool.
I haven't dated anyone since... February, I think, so it's nice to feel wanted.
I really hope my allergies are toned down majorly by then, because,
of course, we're going for a walk in the park. XP
A walk in the park plus a red, runny nose = not attractive at all.

GODDAMN! I busted my lip again!!
Frickin spring....

wildly insane 18-05-2009 08:16 AM

*hugs Ashley* good luck with the date, I hope it goes well

*hugs Lucy* that sound real tough and I just wanted to offer my support

*hugs Gils* hiya, am so glad your job is going well, and so sorry to hear you're struggling, did you manage to tell him?

*hugs Vicki* I'm glad you were feeling better for a bit, hold onto that and know you can do it again and hopefully it'll last longer next time, each moment of feeling a bit better is a step forward that cannot be taken away.

*hugs secrets* get those exams done hun, if you possibly can, hope things get sorted out with your boyfriend.

*hugs kat* he sounds foul, you're well rid of him, but I know it's hard

*hugs Todlich* glad it passed but sorry to hear it's becoming more frequent. I'm sure you're not a whore.

Had a good day with my dad yesterday, glad the waterproofs held out :) Have a job application to finish today, which is stressing me out, but once I've sent it i'll be fine. Dancing tonight - yay

*hugs everyone else dropping by or hiding in the corners*

zowie 18-05-2009 10:56 AM

I haven't really even tried to quit smoking yet. I don't think it's going to happen.
Feeling really crappy today. I feel like I must be too lazy and that it's my fault I don't have a job.

Kahlia1981 18-05-2009 11:23 AM

*offers hugs to all*

I broke my wrist so I'll be a little slow responding to posts but wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you all.

MammaMia 18-05-2009 01:14 PM

Forgotten again.
Wow.

realflifefaerie 18-05-2009 02:32 PM

*hugs Rainbow* Im really glad your jobs going well. Try not to worry too much. I often find a letter written helps, things scribbled out and all.

*hugs Eclectic*a* I have no advice though I guess a hug would help.

*hugs Lucy* I understand what it's like to physically care for someone, is there anyone who could allow you an hour off. I know its hard to ask for but sometimes it'll make caring that bit easier.

*hugs Strawberry.Bananas* Sometimes other things take over, we're always here so dont worry about not being around. In fact Im the worst for disappearing

*hugs Damnation* I hope things have started to improve.

*hugs Sorcha*Loupvoix* Allergies suck, however have fun on your date. Just make sure you've taken anti-allergy stuff or have some on you.

*hugs wildly insane* thanks for the hugs. Sounds like you had a lovely day, I hope today's lovely too.

*hugs Zowie* take things slowly, maybe try to reduce the amount you smoke. Giving up smokin is hard.

*hugs Kahila* A broken wrist isn't fun! Hope it heals soon.

*hugs MammaMia* I'd wondered where you'd gone. You're one of the few who look familiar.

I'm still at home. Feeling crap tody but hey. Sometimes I want to lie down and let it overtake.

Jetforce 18-05-2009 02:42 PM

*leaves some ice cream in the fridge*

Hope u guys r all ok...i'm busy and flat out as usual :-( got exams coming up soon...not looking fwd to them as i don't know anything atm..ugh..anyways *waves* enjoy ur day there xx

zowie 18-05-2009 06:39 PM

I've been so lazy today. Didn't get dressed, didn't do any make up (didn't even draw my eyebrows on), spent all day on the sofa except for the hour I spent going and coming back from the Jobcenter.
I need a bath but I just don't have the energy.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.

rockaroni 18-05-2009 06:54 PM

Arwen, have you been so lazy as to not grow back your eyebrows? That'd be impressive, if laziness stretched so far as uncontrolable bodily functions.
[loveyou]

I have a deadline that I thought was for Friday next week.
Turns out it's actually tomorrow.
SCREWED.

zowie 18-05-2009 07:38 PM

I don't want those hairy things back. No thank you.

Oh dear Katie. Are you anywhere near finished?
[ILoveYouToo]xx

Eclectica 18-05-2009 08:42 PM

I hated going shopping today.

Everybody was after me and against me. Reading my mind. Reading everythign about me and watching me. Getting in my way... And getting too close. TOO CLOSE. I wanted to lash out and attack them. I near did. Will attack somebody one day.

THEY NEED TO STOP

rockaroni 19-05-2009 12:33 AM

I'm a good chunk through. I will be having to miss maths tomorrow morning to be in the library and spend an immense amount of printer credit :(

And I think you should appriciate your hairy things.

*leaves hugs and space hoppers for all*

Biba 19-05-2009 12:38 AM

my body is shaking inside, im not cold... they dont back off..

Biba 19-05-2009 12:42 AM

i spoke and now im sceard. i feel so insecure, i dont have a good feeling for this.. a person always knows deep inside them of how things will go.. i cry when she asks how can i talk to the next person ... whats the better thing to do when you really cannot cope.. right now i have three choices.. talk and let the crying happen... dont speak and carry on in silence.. or if i feel there to much go to my safe haven. all of them seem like to much.

MammaMia 19-05-2009 01:16 AM

**** this.
It proves to me that nobody cares about me.
Well except Gemma & Jade.
But they'll get over me.
x

Kahlia1981 19-05-2009 02:58 AM

Sorry can't respond to everyone. Just want to let you all know I'm thinking of you. Damn wrist is a major problem... *offers hugs and cuddles to all*

wildly insane 19-05-2009 08:37 AM

*hugs*hugs*hugs*hugs*huggles*squishes*cuddles* :)

*hugs Kahlia* sorry about your wrist hun, did you manage to move apartments okay? are you feeling okay?

*hugs Helen* don't you think that, it's not true, at all, any of it.

*hugs Lucy* crying can sometimes be good, lets out all the emotion building up inside without destruction. If it's too much come and cry in here, don't carry on in silence, we're here to listen.

*hugs rockaroni* good luck with your deadline

*hugs Kat* I hate shopping too, people get in the way all the time.

*hugs Arwen* I hope you feel better today. I hate job hunting too, takes it out of you. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a lazy day.

*hugs Jem* good luck with the exams, I'm sure you know more than you think.

*hugs Secrets* don't let it win, you can do this, thanks I did have a lovely day and now I've finishe my job application so feeling less stressed.

*hugs Ashley and Todlich* how are you both doing?

*hugs anyone else wanting hugs. Sets up a sand pit and starts playing with a bucket and spade*

I had an okay time at dance, I got pulled out of intermediates to help the beginners and they were doing a jump in the intermediates which I missed :( I did have a lovely dance with my friend. He is still trying to get me to have sex with him for fun behind his girlfriend's back. Am I really wrong in thinking that this would just end up with me feeling used and ****? I don't know anymore.

zowie 19-05-2009 09:32 AM

*Hugs Eclectic*a* I know how it feels when you are completely overwhelmed by crowds. I believe there are spies watching me all the time, and I find it hard to tell who's a spy and who's not. Anyway I'm talking about myself, just wanted to let you know I understand and give you a hug.

Katie - I wont and I shant. Hope you get your work done, good luck with it all :)

*Hugs Lucy* Crying can be a good thing. It's much better to let the tears out than bottle them up.

*Squeezes Helen* I care about you...

*Hugs Kahlia back* It sucks about your wrist, it must be a real bugger.

*Hugs Hannah back* I really think you shouldn't give in to this guy. You're worth so much more than this, and I think you will feel used. He's treating you in such a disrespectful way and you shouldn't stand for it. He's obviously not a nice person as he's treating you and his girlfriend terribly.


-------


SIX MONTHS TODAY!!

I'm feeling so good about this. I threw away my tools last month, and I haven't thought about hurting myself in absolutely ages. :)
Will make a thread in Vets General, got a few things to say.
xxx

MammaMia 19-05-2009 12:09 PM

*cuudles Kahlia*

Hannah, Arwen, thanks, wish I could believe it :(

Long*Past 19-05-2009 01:49 PM

I'm sick, again.....
I can't breath.
I'm trying really hard.
I just took some Buckley's,
and while my throat is no longer throbbing,
I still can't breath, and I'm cold...

I hate this!
I cannot afford to be sick!

On a positive note,
I now have an official boyfriend.

I have decided that I am going to find at least one positive thing
to think about each day,
so that it will help keep hope in my heart.
I need hope.

MammaMia 19-05-2009 06:16 PM

*curls up into a tight ball*

realflifefaerie 19-05-2009 07:02 PM

*hugs everyone who needs it*

Im back in the land of uni today and really not enjoying it. However positive thing, I ate which is a major acheivment for me.

Sorry can't post individually, have exam tomorrow so major panic

wildly insane 19-05-2009 08:00 PM

*hugs Secrets* good luck, don't panic, yay for eating

*hugs Helen* we'll tell you again and again and again, we care, carry on fighting. What I've found a great help is that even if I don't believe in what other people tell me, is accepting that they believe it, I don't know if that makes any sense and another thing your friends will never in any way be better off without you, friends don't like you for a reason, they just like you and that doesn't go away.

*hugs Ashley* go girl, find a positive thing every day, it's a great thing to do, a hug, a smile, a laugh, a rainbow, a flower, a star. Sorry to hear you're feeling ill again, I hope it doesn't last long.

*hugs Arwen again* thanks, I'm not going to, sometimes things get warped in my brain and I end up thinking it's me that's in the wrong, but it's not this time and one day I may actually find somebody who wants me to be their number one, although I'm not sure anymore.

The cracks are beginning to show on my bosh job at mending them. 3 weeks free, I think, and the urges are beginning to rattle the cage bars again, they're not deafening yet but they're there constantly harrassing me :P

*Settles in for the night on a comfy chair with a blanket, here for hugs if anyone wants them*

zowie 19-05-2009 09:01 PM

Wine time!

Eclectica 20-05-2009 12:19 AM

I actually... really do hate myself.

MammaMia 20-05-2009 12:25 AM

Ah when is this **** going to end :(

Biba 20-05-2009 01:36 AM

things dont seem so scary today. i feel stronger in me. i look back on what i wrote, and feel the difference in my body.. stronger. Everyday is a different day... one step at a time!!

ravynsoul 20-05-2009 01:48 AM

hi all... i think it's time i checked myself back in. I'm hoping there is a cozy corner for me to crawl up in and hide. sorry it's been so long.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

Pomegranate 20-05-2009 01:51 AM

*sends special hugs and the offer of PM's to Hannah, ravynsoul, Arwen, Nicola, Kahlia* I am thinking of you guys xx

*sends hugs to most of the rest of VPW patients*

ravynsoul 20-05-2009 01:56 AM

*hugs Emma* thank you. how are you doing?

Damnation. 20-05-2009 03:49 AM

Blah. Like a week or so ago, I sent a PM to a friend when I was really down. Had a good ole bitch about the **** that's been going on, the tosser who's been driving me insane lately. And the guy I PM'd said that I could always talk to him and this.

PM'd him again last night. Just needed another rant. Felt like I might OD on painkillers, booze and just whatever I could get my hands on. He read it, but didn't reply. Thanks a lot :/

xXxFallenAngelxXx 20-05-2009 05:00 AM

*slowly walks into room, finds a corner ,sits down and stares at nothing*


Life got a little rough and I had to leave. sorry for not telling anyone but back now. ^.^

wildly insane 20-05-2009 09:22 AM

*hugs Emma back* thanks :) how are you?

*hugs Shell* hey hun, welcome back, don't forget if you ever need to talk I'm here for you

*hugs FallenAngel* Are you ok?

*hugs Todlich* sorry to hear that hun, are you feeling any better today?

*hugs Lucy* glad you're feeling a bit stronger, you're right, day by day, step by step :)

*hugs Kat, Arwen, Helen, Secrets, Ashley and Kahlia*

*hugs anyone else wanting one*

Am feeling slightly better today, I'm blaming pms :) bloomin mood swings, plus I had 81/2 hours sleep which is always good, makes me think clearer, better get on with it then, hadn't I :P

*leaves homemade apple cake but no custard cos it'll just get lumpy*

zowie 20-05-2009 09:30 AM

I woke up half an hour ago and all I can think about is curling up on the sofa and having a snooze :(

MammaMia 20-05-2009 10:03 AM

Just when you think someone has changed back to how they used to be (caring etc), they remind you of their not-so-caring side. Well thank you VERY much :D

*offers hugs to all*

I have an exam rehersal later, can't be bothered with it, don't want to leave my house. Arrrrrrgh, I think I'm going to drop out of uni. :S

realflifefaerie 20-05-2009 10:52 AM

*hugs everyone that needs it* And welcome back to those who have come back.

Today is not fun, Im really struggling yet its not the right time to tell anyone. I have exams and I know I need to eat before it but i physically can't. Ahh well.

xXxFallenAngelxXx 20-05-2009 11:22 AM

* hugs wildly insane Back *

I'm OK Just very numb at this moment.

ravynsoul 20-05-2009 11:35 AM

*Hugs Todlich* That's crappy, how are you doing today? Want to talk about it?

*hugs FallenAngel* sorry to hear you're feeling numb. Any particular reason?

*hugs Hannah* hate the mood swings too.. silly pms. hope your day is a good one.

*hugs Arwen* being super sleepy is not fun. How are you feeling now?

*hugs Helen* good luck with your exam rehearsal, keep going, you can do it.. just take things one thing at a time.

*hugs Secrets* thanks for the welcome. why is it not the right time to tell anyone? Maybe you can eat a little bit for to help you study? Snack on healthy foods?

*leaves hugs for everyone else*

I am in a much better place than I was last night, hopefully this will last and my mood won't tank again.

MammaMia 20-05-2009 02:58 PM

Today is going so bloody mother****ing wrong :(

Acrasia 20-05-2009 03:36 PM

Don't you just hate liars?
Especially people who lie about things that others have painfully gone through.
It makes me incredibly sad that anyone would stoop that low.
How do you get away from someone like that when it's on your mind all the time?

Shame life is so sh*t isn't it? Eh well.

demongirl 20-05-2009 03:44 PM

grabs a blanket and hides at the back (hates being new but needs somwhere to hide)

MammaMia 20-05-2009 04:23 PM

Can we start Friday please? This week is being pretty shitty & I'm pretty low, but least it'll be the start of the weekend.

zowie 20-05-2009 07:30 PM

I slept through most of the day and when I woke up I ate too much.
My dad keeps making snide remarks about what a failure I am.

shadowedsoul 20-05-2009 07:53 PM

hmm walks in and hides in corner, and curls up, hides under banket. =/

Damnation. 20-05-2009 08:37 PM

It was a misunderstanding. He was thinking of a decent reply, and me being me, I assumed the worse possible senario .__.;;. He messaged me back this afternoon.

I, however, am now bitching with a mate about the Biggest **** in the world, and am starting to get angry =D

MammaMia 20-05-2009 09:47 PM

*offers hugs to all*

Biba 20-05-2009 11:34 PM

goes back to the room locks it.. opens window throws key out window. and feels like screaming.. but thats not how we people act?... feels like crying?? .. no.. feels like crap? ye i feel like crap.. bottle a volka?? i dont drink.. slides note under door.. saying.. major sos problem.. please handle with care... and find key.. cus she might decide to go to mcdonalds for a coffee... and cookie..

~Kaytee~ 21-05-2009 09:40 AM

HI everyone. It's Katie.

Anyway *hugs for everyone* Will try to keep in touch x


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