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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

wildly insane 13-01-2009 07:20 PM

Hi, please can I admit myself? Need a bit of time out from my head really, but seeing as that is impossible would like a bit of time out from reality instead, I'd just like to curl up for a while and listen to everybody and maybe pipe up every now and then, but right now I need some sleep. Thanks guys, *hugs everyone*.

MammaMia 13-01-2009 07:58 PM

Kat, owch, hope your arm is feeling less painful soon.

Kahlia, *hugs* Sorry its not more

wildly insane, welcome to the psych ward!!

MammaMia 13-01-2009 08:00 PM

Mary Anne, I'm not doing great. Just can't shift these sucide thoughts and they're getting quite strong =/

realflifefaerie 13-01-2009 09:17 PM

Thanks for the hugs, went and helped at the youth thing I helped at earlier which really helped.
I need to revise but I dont see the point as Im going to fail

Mary Anne 13-01-2009 09:45 PM

*big cuddle for Helen* sorry you are struggling just now, can't say much but stay safe

*cuddles kat - avoiding arm* not surprised you can't sleep (had broken limbs the past getting comfy is impossible), have you got antibiotics? take care of yourself

*offers hugs to wildly insane* welcome to the jungle :)

*hugs secrets* when are your exams? try not to panic about revising, do little bits at a time, your brain cannot focus for long periods (I am a part time student doing professional exams for work, know your struggle with exams well). Well doen going and doing something to take your mind off things. My best revision tip - when you are tired and can't sleep read your notes - sends you right off!! Good Luck.

*leaves hugs for all those who check in later*

A hard day in my world, so much has happened in the past 24 hours, my uncle (we have now located him in America, he has had surgery and will survive - as my mum, his sister, put it - this time, he needs to take better care of himself).
Some stupid person left opened a gate in the field where my horse lives and he escaped (he is a total nosey parker) so that gave me a fright but he was recovered safe and sound but rather wound up!
Had my annual appraisal at work, at least that went well, my only downfall this year was my sickness record but my boss knows why he said they just have to note it because it is a fact.
More fights with the he-devil (he wants to stay friends - I am nowhere near ready to comtemplate that).

Whoops, have gone on for ages.

*hugs*

Away to bed.x.

realflifefaerie 13-01-2009 10:15 PM

Thanks Mary Anne, ones saturday then next tuesday, theres just so much to learn and my brains struggling so much.

*hugs Mary Anne and others that come in later*

MammaMia 13-01-2009 10:50 PM

*screams head off*

Please make this **** stop?

realflifefaerie 13-01-2009 11:07 PM

*hugs MammaMia*

wildly insane 13-01-2009 11:31 PM

ooh Mary Anne, another horse lover, yay *hugs*

wants to give MammaMia a big hug, gives MammaMia a big hug, would love to do more but can't think of anything else.

Must go to bed now though otherwise tomorrow will be as bad as today, if only I sleep well....

*hugs everyone* (I like hugs)

Pomegranate 14-01-2009 12:34 AM

I just told my Dad I am on anti depressants. I need some support right now, this could go one way or the other :( :S

Damnation. 14-01-2009 03:49 AM

Flying visit here. Sorry I didn't check in earlier, was working on a picture and sort of got a bit lost in it, lol, but all's going well today. Will read through and reply to everyone properly

*Gives Emma lots of cuddles* Hope it goes alright for you

Pomegranate 14-01-2009 04:18 AM

It didn't go that well. My Dad is happy for me to wait for what the NHS offfers, he doesn't want to part with his cash. He has insurance but it is not worth the effort on his behalf *sits and rocks*. What's the point? This cost me a fortune emotionally, I cant do this anymore.

Jetforce 14-01-2009 05:16 AM

*cuddles emma*

realflifefaerie 14-01-2009 11:30 AM

*cuddle pomegranate*

Secrets is feeling slightly less lonely this morning however it may be because shes going to her aunts this evening so she'll be with people who love her which is reassuring. Though that means food which is scary.

zowie 14-01-2009 11:48 AM

Phoned the benefit people and they can't up the ammount I'm getting
>:( Got a letter from DLA today saying they have recieved my application and are processing it.
Dad's going to phone tax credits and ask if there's any way they can continue to pay him something for me even though I'm not a student.

Need moneeeeeeeeeeeey!

xxx

Mary Anne 14-01-2009 01:01 PM

quick check in to lave hugs for everyone

*Hugs*

x

zowie 14-01-2009 02:49 PM

Just read your posts Emma, thought I'd give you a big *HUG*

*Hugs anyone else who wants it*

I made a thread. Having a really tough day.

xxx

Eclectica 14-01-2009 04:26 PM

*Hugs everyone*

Goodish news. My arm seems to be improving that slight bit. But bleh, I gotta go back every day to get it redressed. Annoying. I don't like people seeing it. But whatever. My own damn fault.

MammaMia 14-01-2009 08:23 PM

*leaves cuddles for all*

What a ****ing **** day mannnn, was awesome to Vicki though, so thats ONE good thing >_<

Mary Anne 14-01-2009 08:40 PM

Hi all,

*hugs Helen* one good thing is better than none :) how you doing?

*hugs Kat* has the swelling gone down at all?

*hugs Zowie* will go and read your thread, hope you are okay

*hugs Secrets* how you getting on with the revision? try not to panic

*hugs Wildy Insane* love my pony (well rather large horse!) my mum looks after him as I am not up to it at the moment so I get to skip the boring parts liking mucking out and just get to go and ride him :)

*hugs Emma* are you okay?

*hugs Jetforce, P.C., and anyone else looking but not writing*

A quiet day for me (I like them like that).
I gave the full story to a bunch of friends yesterday (needed time to myself to sort my head) and they have come back with lots of support, I just iwsh there was someone out there who could give me a hug that would make me feel better :(

Eclectica 14-01-2009 08:52 PM

Swelling gone down a bit, looks much better, but still not good enough for me to escape going to the doctors daily for check-ups and dressings.

Mary Anne 14-01-2009 09:01 PM

Kat, glad it is on the mend.x.

beautiful_mistake 14-01-2009 09:05 PM

comes in, grabs a duvet, hides under it, and silently cries

Mary Anne 14-01-2009 09:29 PM

*offers hugs to beautiful mistake*

wildly insane 14-01-2009 09:36 PM

*would like to hug "beautiful mistake" but she's hiding* what's wrong?

*hugs Mary Anne* I hope you find someone to hug that's not binary sent

*hugs Zowie* I hope you're feeling better and the thread helped

*hugs Secrets* keep on going hun

*hugs Katricia, gently though* hope the doctors goes okay

*goes and sits quietly in a corner cos she's exhausted*

I don't know why though, I really shouldn't be, I haven't done anything worth being tired over, I hate stress, but I have a job interview to prepare for 3 other jobs to apply for and some boring temping work to actually pay the bills at the moment and I just can't seem to pull myself together, when I get back from work I don't want to do anything other than curl up in a ball and do nothing, but I can't let myself do that.

*goes from sitting position to curling up in a ball*

*whispers* if anyone needs a hug, just let me know

Mary Anne 14-01-2009 09:54 PM

Wildy Insane - life is exhausting! I sooo know how you feel, the last 3 days I have got home from work and collapsed on the couch (I normally try to go to the gym to get social interaction as much as anything else). When you are struggling with yourself you end up physically exhausted even if you have done nothing.

Good luck with the job interview (I don;t think anybody likes them).

*hugs*

*leaves hugs for everyone*

*off to bed*

x

MammaMia 14-01-2009 10:19 PM

I faill at uni.
I fail at life.
I fail at it all.
:(
Gosh, I cant control these suicde thoughts very well

Damnation. 14-01-2009 10:21 PM

*Sneaks in and gives everyone biiiig hugs*

Kat: Glad to hear that the swelling's getting better

Helen D: Hang in there, you can do it! Things will get better >_o *hugs tightly*

'Ere, just thought of something O_O; is it just me, or has Kahlia not checked in properly, as of late?

MammaMia 14-01-2009 10:25 PM

*cuddles Dayna*

She has checked in, she did yesterday I think...it's back a couple of pages?

Eclectica 14-01-2009 10:30 PM

No no no no NO. I give in. I'ma have a couple o drinks. Not drank since Sunday but oh well. A few can't hurt for tonight only.

SH urges are back... so soon? Doesn't usually happen this fast after hospital incidents. Well, my stupid self has been in a strange mood all day. First suicidal kinda thing now it's... all grr. And I'm starting to get switchy. Bleh. I wanna look at my stitches. I wanna play with them.

Damnation. 14-01-2009 10:33 PM

Helen: She has? Oh good. I'll have to have a looksie in a bit then

Kat: >___< *Hugs tightly* I dunno what to say. Wants to support you and my mind's just died D: *hugs again*

MammaMia 14-01-2009 10:34 PM

Dayna, yeah hun, somwhere :)

KDoll 14-01-2009 10:46 PM

Was having such a good day...I gave myself a break from my calorie restriction and had a meal with my friend. Then the anxiety set in...then just when I was feeling shitty already, some guy points at me, and says to his friends "Look at the ****ing face on that!". So now I've come home and used a scalpel that I promised myself I wouldn't use. My arm's all bandaged and I feel like ****. I just wish I'd had enough balls to use the scalpel on this "****ing face" of mine.

Tomorrows plan...no food for Hans. Try and think of a decent excuse for the bandage for my flatmates and boyfriend.

I just wish I could curl up and disappear.

KDoll 14-01-2009 10:54 PM

And now I've found out my landlord has put our house back on the market, despite telling us we could stay here regardless of the fact we'll be one person short. AAAARGH!!!!

Jetforce 15-01-2009 01:13 AM

*sighs*

wildly insane 15-01-2009 02:12 AM

oh Kat don't let the drinks get the better of you, alcohol is evil, says she who has let the alcohol get the better of her, please on't give in.

Kdoll, *hugs*

I've given in, sorry

Eclectica 15-01-2009 02:24 AM

I've got cans lying around so.. Might as well use them. When they run out, I'm screwed. Within the past several months I've only gone say two nights maximum at a time without drinking. It's hard to stop.

wildly insane 15-01-2009 02:30 AM

It's dangerous, don't do it, please kat don't let the alcohol win, I lost

Eclectica 15-01-2009 02:37 AM

I lost a while back, as did my dad, but he died. And I can't put my mum through that again so... I'm trying to stop. Not drank since Sunday and only had two cans tonight :]

wildly insane 15-01-2009 02:43 AM

can I please curl up in a corner and pretend I don't exist? I'm cold and scared

ravynsoul 15-01-2009 03:22 AM

*wanders in and hugs everyone and welcomes new members :)*

hi all; sorry haven't really checked in recently... been feeling "off" and been quite busy; hope to reply properly to people tomorrow.

*leaves hugs for those who wander by and want some*

Damnation. 15-01-2009 03:46 AM

*Hugs all tightly and passes out in a corner*

Snuffles 15-01-2009 04:40 AM

Omg, someone help.. I just dozed off and had a nightmare

Omgomgomg. So scared.There was this music... from a band, dunno why, but Evanesance comes to mind.. one of the band members had died. And you know how you get some music that really touches you? Well that's not even how to explain it. It... moves you... you... feel something...? Well this was the type of music, but because one of the members had died it didn't have the same feel to it. And it had become distorted. I was asleep (in the dream) listening to it and suddenly it was like I was being possessed by the music.. I guess.. something like that. All I could hear was the distorted music blaring. I couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything. I tried to scream, first for mum but then remembered she's dead, then for dad, then realised I don't live with him anymore.. then I tried to scream out for my boyfriend and.. that's when I woke up.

I guess typing it down doesn't make it that scary... but **** it was.. I'm still freaked out by it. Not sure how I'll go sleeping tonight now :\

Hugs to all.

Snuffles 15-01-2009 05:53 AM

And now my depressive moods are coming back.. I can feel it. Then right at the end I'll have a quick hyper (or hypo, what word is it? I never do know) state which will then lower and my mood will stabilise. What the hell is wrong with me? How the hell can I control it???

Mary Anne 15-01-2009 07:42 AM

*hugs Snuffles* nightmares can feel so real sometimes, did you get to sleep later on?

*hugs Wildy Insane and offers a duvet* what are you scared of sweetie? Are you okay?

*hugs Kat* I know how tempting those stitches might look but hope you managed to resist them.

*cuddles Helen* hang in there honey

*hugs P.C., Kahlia, KDoll, JetForce, Ravyn and leaves hugs for anyone else coming in later*

Despite what I think was a decent sleep I woke up exhausted, at work now. I was doing really wel with my eating habits for a while there but this constant exhaustion has led me to eating junk just to stay awake :(

Snuffles 15-01-2009 07:58 AM

*hugs back* Thanks Mary Anne, no, no sleep yet. It's still only 6pm here.

Mary Anne 15-01-2009 12:21 PM

*hugs Snuffles* hope you got to sleep (guessing it is nightime with you now)

MammaMia 15-01-2009 12:56 PM

It is Mary Anne :) Well it's about 10.55pm for her anyway :D

I am so cold. I am so tired but I slept so good last night. Well managed to sleep from 10.30-6.30 non stop and then got woken up at 7.25 to get the day started!!!! Only got another 5 hours and 35 minutes left in here or so.....

zowie 15-01-2009 01:04 PM

I'm cold too Helen!

Also, I didn't bother reading the instructions fully of a microwavable meal until I'd put it in the microwave. Turns out you can't do it from frozen, which is what I've done. Oops. Put it in for another five minutes to see if it defrosts :P

MammaMia 15-01-2009 04:12 PM

Oppsie Arwen!!

I'm having an emotional day from hell to be honest, I mainly blame the PMS (damm peroid is due) and the alcohol I had at lunch. I went to uni today feeling ok, then to anxious, then to tired, then to awake, then to excited, then to hyper, then to ok, then back to really low and bleh.

What a day this is turning out to be :(


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