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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

blondiebear 22-05-2008 11:03 PM

Thanks for the diet pepsi and hug irkeninvader!

I just heard from my friend's older sister and it sounds very bad. Older sister asked me what to do and I made a couple of recommendations. I don't want older sister to get in trouble though. As old as I am and as long ago as I left home, at some level I've forgotten the physical authority that parents have.

I'll probably not log off and be frequently checking for messages from friend or her sister.

*gives more hugs since blonde teddy bears are decent at that*
*wanders off to see where husband left the vacuum last*

MammaMia 22-05-2008 11:04 PM

*looks around blankly*

*wants to hug everyone :)*

chocostashchick 23-05-2008 12:21 AM

hahaha i forgot how they changed the names
yeah that's David Brent though and my boss is EXACTLY like him
i had to buy his satellite radio subscription for him, i have to order his plane tickets, i have to put the registration sticker on his car, i have to fvcking refill his stapler for him when it runs out of staples because he doesn't know how

*trig for grossness* on the plus side the black mouth sore i had has gone away! my cheeks feel really like puffy though and i have like marks where my teeth rub them or something? unfortunately i have to admit i have learned nothing from this and feel no motivation to change which i know is dumb

huggles for Susan and Helen and Alexx and everybody in the whole wide world

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 12:47 AM

Thanks irkeninvader hun *hugs back* Off and on for about two hours *shrug* and I'm still SO tired! WTF?! I haven't done anything all day! I haven't even been out of bed for more than two hours:blink:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hells (Post 783459)
*hugs Millie and Alex* I feel like this > :crying: :-D:sad: :blink: and ignored/invisable :|

Aww Helen I'm sorry luv, sounds like you've run the gamut as far as emotions go today *snuggles*

Callie, I haven't seen The Office but sounds like your boss needs a good slap upside the head *nods emphatically*
As to my meds, therapist may ask me tomorrow as I made some comment on Monday about wishing I could not take my meds so I'd feel that much worse and, well, yeah... If he asks I'll tell him, if not...*looks around innocently*

How is everyone atm? Probably sleeping lol it's almost 01:00 across the pond.

*snuggles any one that wants/needs/will allow it as she rather needs a snuggle or two*

MammaMia 23-05-2008 12:50 AM

Why do I have to keep being so horrible to everyone in here :(

*snuggles Ally loooooots*

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 01:00 AM

Helen, what do you mean, being horrible? *snuggles*

BoundNoMore 23-05-2008 01:03 AM

*snuggles* Helen
YOU ARE NOT HORRIBLE TO US!!!
We love you.

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 01:12 AM

Alright, second times the charm. I'm gonna get up and eat something... Not because I'm hungry but because of everything I may have eaten in the last few days I haven't kept any of it down. I mean, I know it is an unfortunate fact of purging that you never get it all *damn* but I'm not even going to try to throw this up... It's just a salad after (mmm, though pancakes sound good I know I'd just wind up with my finger down my throat later).

Wow, cause y'all needed to know that:blink:

Pomegranate 23-05-2008 01:17 AM

I'm sorry I fail at everything, I'm sprtry I am not what everyone wishes I couyld be. I'm sorry I can't support people as they deserve to be but I cant keep doing this. I am drunk and conetemplating driving to Bristol for the bridge. I don't want to endanger anyone else though. I just don't want to ****ing be here. It's not fair. I AM A COMPLETE ****ING loser. Seriously. Had enough.

MammaMia 23-05-2008 01:21 AM

Emma.

Fair enough go. But seriously, DON'T DO ANYTHING.

I cannot lose you now. I know you're struggling and everything yeah. But you CAN get through this shitty time. You've gotten through so much.

Please Emma?

Party- think about it yeah?

MammaMia 23-05-2008 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 783706)
Helen, what do you mean, being horrible? *snuggles*

Having a go/talking utter ****/whinging how nobody is support me...that kinda thing :pinch:

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 01:28 AM

Oh Emma, no, you're not, you're lovely and we all lean on you too much maybe... You're so good at supporting everyone. Sweetie, PLEASE take care hun, I love you SOOOO much.

Helen luv, we all so stuff like that. I've said a few times today I've felt ignored. When we're feeling so crap it's easy to feel slighted, we all understand that.

*snuggles you both lots*

chocostashchick 23-05-2008 01:30 AM

the Denial Tent is a judgemental-free zone
no worries Helen :) you can say whatever you want and think whatever you want and we will listen and love you anyway
what good is a virtual psych ward if you have to censor yourself? teehee

chocostashchick 23-05-2008 01:36 AM

Emma you are not a failure
you are smart and perceptive and kind and caring and beautiful and therefore NOT a failure
what do you think you failed at?

no more alcohol
lots of water for Miss Emma
and some sleep
and report back in the morning
HUGS FOR EMMA

MammaMia 23-05-2008 01:38 AM

You're right both of you.

I feel like I've leant on Emma waaaaaaaay too much lately. Hence the reason I haven't texted so much and have offered my support lots. I don't want to lose her. I know it's ****ing selfish maybe hun, but I CAN'T lose you. You're one of my best friends and if you comitted sucide, you'd be taking me down with you. Because you've helped me so much and we've had some great times and horrible times. But the horrible times have brought us so close and I love having that. So please think about the good things Em yeah? Like the fun we had last thursday? Like Em's party we should get to go to...and that? I know times are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo horrible and unfair at the moment. But they'll go away again and the good times come =D Think on that yeah?

*cries under her blanknet for being scared etc*

Can I sit with you two? (Callie & Ally)

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 01:42 AM

*makes room in her corner for Helen* Still hugging hun

*cries quietly* I just don't feel good:crying:

MammaMia 23-05-2008 01:43 AM

*latches onto Ally*

Sweetie. I know this is hard. Please stay strong yeah? You have a great future ahead, you just can't see that at the moment xx

chocostashchick 23-05-2008 02:21 AM

*sits with Ally and Helen and squishes them* i love the Denial Tent
*feels sort of safe*

i am in a really like supportive and inspirational mood? like i just am practically spewing optimism? i dont know that i am believing it, like that i am really happy or anything, i am just like in the zone of advice hahaaha weird i should write for those people that make those posters of waterfalls and trees and stuff that say things like POWER and There is no I in TEAM and UNITY: working together makes us stronger
hahahahahahahaha

we'll band together, us Denial Tenters! Ally dont worry we can share our good and help you feel better because in the magical virtual stretchy Denial Tent the Mosquito Net of Happiness blocks out the bad feelings and neutralises them into good feelings of safety

Helen hang onto that good attitude sweetie all those things are true of you, too
look at you all with your bright and shiny futures :) aww it almost brings a tear to my eye except that i have lost the ability to cry
*goes off to keep being a hermit-like loser in her mother's basement destined to be a temp who does nothing more significant than filling her boss' stapler for him and cutting off embroidered logos from his cheap free promotional shirts, such is the glorious life of an admin assistant temp*

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 02:34 AM

Guys:crying: I have a confession to make... I mean... G*d I suck... I'm feeling awful and sometimes, petting my cat or not, I have this image... But it's not really an image... A thought, but it's not really a thought... Of... Um... I suppose it's breaking his neck:crying: I don't want to, I'm not mad at him, I don't want him to die, and it's not got that feeling behind it... It's like when I want to cut my wrists and I know the end result would be me dead, which is not the intent, but at least with myself I don't care... With him... Good lord if I ever did do it I really would kill myself... WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM?!?!:crying: and how in Gods name do I get it to stop?!:crying: it's happened a few times, not sure how many but...
*sobs in her corner*
F**k me:crying: why am I so F**KED UP?!?!?!

chocostashchick 23-05-2008 02:43 AM

no you arent
unless i am too
which might be the case
but at least we are fvcked up together?
i get images too and i get scared of myself sometimes
i picture myself hurting my cats even though i dont want to... it was mostly throwing them out the upstairs window though i dont know why... or i picture the things i could do (yeah not going to be specific here because technically i guess it's borderline violent tendencies/images that just pop into my head), or also with my car... like driving it into my condo building... when it's not empty.... yeah my head is a scary place haha! and the really scary part is that sometimes it scares me but right now i think it's funny because i guess when you are that fvcked up you either completely lose it or you decide it is all a hilarious cosmic joke
<goes with the cosmic joke>

i never really thought about it for an extended period of time though, Alyssa. i just like ignore it or try not to think about it and always assumed i would never act on it? is that something to be concerned about though? i mean i always figured the thoughts werent mine, like didnt come from me.... but that makes no sense now that i look at your question because nobody can put ideas in my head but me right? or could it because that would be better... like subliminal messages from the telly or something?

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 02:56 AM

*hugs Callie*
Well it's even more weird because I can't STAND anything that has to do with necks... Like, I hate it when people grab their heads and turn it to crack their neck. It's so reminiscent of how you would grab someone to break their neck and for some reason I find that the worst way of killing someone... I hate seeing it in movies... I can watch shootings without too much problem but I cower when someone has someone else by the head... And here I am seeing/thinking/whatever the f**k this is about doing it to my cat, my baby?!
:crying:
And I don't know whether or not I should tell my therapist... I know I do NOT want to... I'm not sure I could even get it out...

Guys I know we're all having a hatd time of it but I could use some advice/hugs/a good slap upside the head... Or a shot:pinch:
F**k me:crying:

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 03:06 AM

Anyone still around? Just after hearing about my mates mum killing herself yesterday, I wasn't feeling great. Now one of my other mates is asleep on my bed cause she got kicked out, and another great mate of mine has been missing since Wednesday and the police have been swarming.

I miss her already, I mean I know it's only been since Wednesday, but I'm scared for her. Majorly. Like, she ain't the sort of person to be out of contact with people for more than a couple of hours, let alone days, and yet no-one's heard from her. Tell me it's going to be ok???

I wish I could make you all feel better but all I can offer right now is hugs if anyone wants them?

chocostashchick 23-05-2008 03:09 AM

*takes hugs*
*throws treats and goes to bed*
be safe everybody

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 03:09 AM

Oh Hana hun you're having more than your fair share of problems atm sweetie *snuggles* I'm so sorry hun. I can't say for sure that everything will be alright but I very much hope it will luv.

*curls up in her corner and cries*

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 03:17 AM

Just feels like everything's happening all at once, you know? Like, it's been a great couple of months, until recently. I just hope she gets in contact soon.

I don't even have the energy to cut at the moment, and that in itself scares me. I just want it all to be over. You know sometimes I wonder why I bother staying alive, then I realise what it'd do to people, and I can't do anything. I hate feeling like this. Like I'm in a limbo, not between happy and sad, but between life and death. Like everything hangs in the balance.

Once this is all over with and sorted guys, I'll support you, promise, but I have no words right now. I don't know what I feel anymore. Sorry... I wish I were more helpful.

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 03:36 AM

Hana hunni, no worries, we all do what we can, when we can and right now you are one of those that needs the support*snuggles*
I totally understand how you're feeling about being between life and death... I've got a similar post some pages back, I'm 'done' but not DONE... Still here, still alive... And it sucks. I wish I could help luv, I wish I had some advice... Please try and hold on sweetheart.

BoundNoMore 23-05-2008 03:40 AM

*hugs Auburn Shadow*

blondiebear 23-05-2008 06:58 AM

I'm still very worried about my friend. Even more so. I feel like I'm fighting for her life and don't know what to do and how to help her.

Tonight I was told that I am a mainstay of the meeting. That is nice to know. But I still want to be the sweet young thing. This kind of needyness is what I hate about my character, even though my therapist says it is normal. I've been capable, or percieved myself as that way.

I'm at a point where I wish I'd had a dad. I have to watch out cause I'm still looking for one. That is not fair. Not fair to the people I glom on to.

I'm going to go see if my husband will let me curl up next to his heart tonight.

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 08:11 AM

*hugs you* I don't have words at the moment, hun, but I can listen as much as you need.

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 08:39 AM

Need to sleep. Can't sleep. Need to cut. Can't cut. Need to do something. Don't know what to do anymore. Want this all to be over. All of it. But it's not. Never.

*sigh* Hows everyone doing?

Jetforce 23-05-2008 08:53 AM

*cuddles hana*

Hang in there....keep positive and *gives u some sleeping pills so u can crash*

I'm okies i guess :-)
*wanders around the psych ward by himself*

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 08:58 AM

*takes pills and crashes out in a corner somewhere out of the way*
Thanks :)
*hugs*

MammaMia 23-05-2008 12:41 PM

I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo worried *shakes*

Jetforce 23-05-2008 02:40 PM

Wats bothering u helen?

MammaMia 23-05-2008 02:43 PM

I wouldn't call it bothering me, but I'm severly worried about Emma. Chances are she's just asleep :)

Jetforce 23-05-2008 02:45 PM

Yeah, probably asleep at this hr

Y dont' u leave a msg on her fone if u've got her number later on?

zowie 23-05-2008 03:08 PM

Hi everyone. How you all doing?
I've put on a whole stone, and it's really showing as I try to fit into my size 8 clothes. They aren't fitting anymore and it's really getting me down :(
No more eating for me until I'm skinny again.

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 03:15 PM

*hugs you* be careful, yeah? I'm around if you wanna talk or anything...

I'm... actually, I don't know what I am anymore. Worried, certainly, but more than that...scared...

I thought maybe she'd just gone away for a day or something, but... she's still not back. I miss her... And I hate the uncertainty of all this.

*cries*

zowie 23-05-2008 03:17 PM

*Hugs auburn shadow* Having a hard day? x

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 03:23 PM

*hugs* thanks. Seems like this whole week I've been lurching from one problem to another. Exams, uncertainty about the future, mates in major trouble, other mates who just need someone to listen, and to top it all off, one of my other mates has completely gone missing and hasn't been seen since Wednesday evening when she left the pub. I can't deal with any more in one go, I feel like I'm going to explode. *sigh* Sorry, that ended up longer than I expected.

zowie 23-05-2008 03:28 PM

Sounds like you're having a tough week. I hope things improve for you. Take care of yourself, okay?
I really hope your friend turns up okay, she'll be in my thoughts xxx

Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 03:35 PM

Thanks, hun. I'm hoping she'll be fine. Still doesn't quite seem real though. Trying to see the positive out of all this though, I haven't cut. It's been a close run thing, but I haven't done it. So maybe, just maybe, I'm moving past that part of my life?

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 03:44 PM

Ok, once again feeling ignored... Wouldn't say anything but this is really distressing to me y'all
Post 7133 (I think)
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 783907)
Guys:crying: I have a confession to make... I mean... G*d I suck... I'm feeling awful and sometimes, petting my cat or not, I have this image... But it's not really an image... A thought, but it's not really a thought... Of... Um... I suppose it's breaking his neck:crying: I don't want to, I'm not mad at him, I don't want him to die, and it's not got that feeling behind it... It's like when I want to cut my wrists and I know the end result would be me dead, which is not the intent, but at least with myself I don't care... With him... Good lord if I ever did do it I really would kill myself... WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM?!?!:crying: and how in Gods name do I get it to stop?!:crying: it's happened a few times, not sure how many but...
*sobs in her corner*
F**k me:crying: why am I so F**KED UP?!?!?!


Auburn Shadow 23-05-2008 03:52 PM

I'm sorry it seemed like you were being ignored hun.

All I can offer at the moment is huge snuggles. I'm sorry this is all happening for you now hun, and I wish I had the words to make it better.

PM me if you ever want to talk, I'm normally around somewhere.

Pomegranate 23-05-2008 04:12 PM

*crawls into the corner and hides under a load of pillows and duvets*

Sorry if I worried people last night. As you can tell, I'm here and physically fine.

*offers hugs to people*

lil-princess 23-05-2008 04:21 PM

Heya everyone, how ya all doing today??

*huggles everyone*

Em i'm glad your ok hun *hugs* i'm around if you feel up to talking. xx

Jetforce 23-05-2008 04:22 PM

*cuddles ally*

i haven't got much words to say except sorry :-(


*wanders off to the his bedroom and crashes to bed*

MammaMia 23-05-2008 04:35 PM

*snuggles Emma lots*

DON'T ever do that to me & Emma again? Please? :)

blondiebear 23-05-2008 05:09 PM

My friend is talking to me. Thank goodness. And she's going to someplace safe.

*hugs Emmy, Ally and Helen*
*looks around to see if there is any one I missed and gives them a hug*

*grabs toast and diet pepsi. wanders off to make sure I have everything I need this morning humming another line from Route 66.* "Flagstaff Arizona. Don't forget Winona. Kingman Barstow San Bernardino" Oh boy, a map with lyrics.

~*forever_broken*~ 23-05-2008 05:33 PM

*sits in her corner and crys*


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