*Hugs Sarah* I hope you're OK.

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia* I know you have your mask but it's scary (To me) that it's taking over , I'm worried about you hun :S

I am going for a early night lie down , put some music on and try to think non-triggering thoughts.

Hugs Mark* I hope you're OK. Sorry for my rant.

*cuddles Lia* I really hope you're okay, I'm worried for you x

*snuggles Mark* Nighty night *tucks in*

*HUGS Lia* i @m just triggered . not your doing . just AM . It'sperfectly okay to rant here Lia , Don't be sorry :)

*Hugs Sarah , Am back up :P.

Not coping so well the devil keeps telling me to OD

*hugs Mark* my friends don't want to talk to me and my Fiance is ill and in bed, so I'm all lonely here. As I signed into MSN everyone changed their status and 3 people went offline. I think its because I had such a rough time recently its become a burden more than anything. They all have their own worries, they don't need mine too. Even my fiance is getting fed up of how down I am all the time, I mean I can't help it and I'm trying to make it go away but it won't. My mood won't lift and he's annoyed that there's something wrong every day. Real life sucks.

*hugs RYUU* Please don't listen. You shouldn't OD, you're strong, you can beat it. Is there anywhere you can go to be away from the pills?

*Hugs Ryuu* Please try not to OD , Can you talk to your hubby? Or Music , Music is so good for diverting attention .

*Hugs Sarah*I'm sorry you're lonely , I know its not the same as IRL friends / Fiance but I'll listen to you :) I'll be on here for about an hour

Thanks Mark :) you're amazing, I love it in here. I feel safe and calm and like everyone cares. Feels lovely.

Edit: He just said its too difficult to have fun around me now because of how I'm down all the time. Feels like that was a bit harsh. I mean I've been a pain because I've not been happy and I've attempted to OD a few times. I've been really bad and this isn't helping. :(

It's okay Sarah , that's what's so great about this place , everyone cares :) Thanks for calling me amazing , Made me smile :-)

Thanks Mark. Just so fed up. I don't know what to do. I've tried, I'm heavily medicated and I'm seeing people and keeping a diary and talking to anyone who will listen and asking for advice... I just feel lost. :(

I know the feeling of being heavily medicated up and talking to pretty much anyone , you're not alone . I'm sorry you feel lost , could you talk to a Dr perhaps about changing your meds , they clearly don't seem to be working out for you .

I have an appointment Friday. I feel so terrible. Its just not fair.

*Cuddles Sarah* It isn't fair no but it WILL get better for you , ask your Dr to switch you onto a different med/s

I will do, thanks Mark *cuddles*

Been so rough recently, I'm not sure if its because things are getting worse or if its the meds...

So run down too, bones are achy and stiff :(

Could you look up the side effects of the meds on the leaflet that came with them? , Aches and stiffness could be in the list.

Is alas from my previous joint problems, they just act up even more when I'm miserable

I have a feeling I've asked this before but can you take any pain meds for the pain? sorry If you've already told me that.

Yeah, paracetamol. Been applying heat on the sore bits too. Got an appointment with rheumatology in 2 weeks time for a review.