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-   -   i give up!! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=263338)

Darkwings44 21-06-2022 03:42 PM

i give up!!
im thinking about being a prostitute because i deserve it!!!! i hate me!!!!!!! i fucking deserve to get used!!! i am a horrible daughter friend and sister i fuck up everything!!!!!! :crying:

Auror. 21-06-2022 04:03 PM

Aside from the fact that there is nothing inherently wrong with sex work, what on earth is the connection between feeling like you are fucking everything up and wanting to be a sex worker? Am I missing something here?

Cacoethes 21-06-2022 04:14 PM

I was a sex worker for a bit.
Do they all deserve to get used?
I don't think i ever deserved to get used.
Hard not to be a lil bit offended.

Darkwings44 21-06-2022 04:55 PM

im sorry no not at all!!!! i wasnt trying to offened anyone i promise!!!!

Auror. 21-06-2022 05:35 PM

It is pretty offensive to imply the things you did about sex workers. I'm sorry you're struggling. I still don't understand the connection at all though. It might help for you to work on explaining what is going on for you instead of just going to big statement things like "i want to be a sex worker" or "i deserve to be dead" or "i give up." It doesn't really give people information to respond, and it doesn't help you to really express what is going on.

I'm not saying don't post. But I'm saying maybe you need to take the time to really think about what is going on for you and to write out, instead of just saying the big blanket statements like you do.

Iamcatbug 21-06-2022 06:56 PM

I agree with Auror. It’s difficult to know how to support you because you make statements like this and then when probed/we ask for further information you either give short sentences that don’t 100% make sense, or change the topic to something else and ignore what others have written ..

Don’t get me wrong, I totally get that when we are in distress it can be difficult to get our points across. But it can get frustrating for all involved when suggestions for how to move forward are given and they are either completely ignored or just have a topic change.

You really need to engage with the support that is around you.

not_so_insig 21-06-2022 06:56 PM

I agree with everything that has been said. Maybe you could consider an r/v to process your feelings? It will help get things out/into perspective and then if you're still struggling with a certain topic then you can post for support.

Darkwings44 21-06-2022 07:35 PM

im sorry i didn't explain it im so sorry! a few months ago i tried to run away from the group and then a month later my mom picked me up and said that if i ran away then a guy would drug me and make me work for him........

not_so_insig 21-06-2022 09:25 PM

Obviously I dont know your mom but is it possible that she was trying to use shock tactics/overdramatise things in the hope that you wouldn't run away again? Sometimes moms will say anything in the hope that it stops you but that doesn't necessarily mean it's true/will happen.

Darkwings44 25-06-2022 08:43 PM

it feels like my mom was saying that thats all i'll be able to do if i leave the group home.....

not_so_insig 26-06-2022 12:12 PM

That's not necessarily true. There are plenty of people who don't live in group homes/on the streets who don't end up in sex work.

nonperson 26-06-2022 03:09 PM

I think the answer is that if you want to leave the group home you need to first have a plan of what it is you're going to do, where you're going to live, how you're going to look after yourself on your own and how you can afford it, rather than just running away with no plan at all because when has that ever fixed anyone's problems, right?

not_so_insig 27-06-2022 01:16 PM

I agree. You have previously mentioned that your group home boss thinks that you aren't too hot on personal hygiene. Start by thinking "well today's Sunday i guess I better shower and wash my hair" and keep on doing it until you are doing it on a regular basis without being prompted. It doesn't have to be a Sunday whatever day works with your schedule. Then slowly increase it to more days. If you can show more independence and less reliance on the staff then you can show to your mom that you don't necessarily have to live in a group home all your life. Think baby steps that will lead to bigger steps rather than running away.

Darkwings44 27-07-2022 10:30 PM

Thank you!! I'm on my way to getting out of the group home and staying with my parents if everything works out okay

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