*squishes some more*

*Hugs everyone back*
The EIP team just came over. They're talking about getting the crisis team to assess me and maybe send me to hospital.
I don't want the crisis team involved again, they never helped.
So in some ways I hope they send me to hospital. I just can't see any other alternative to keep myself safe.
I just tried to kill myself. I wont say how incase it triggers, but after it failed I now know how to do it properly.
I feel so unsafe.

*sits down with Zowie and hugs lots*

I'm sorry hunnie that it's come to this. Lots of hugs and you know we're here if you want to talk more. Damm these time differences though, I must admit.

Damn..i can't sleep grrr

i'm..starting to question what he did....
It was years ago...
but I'm still questioning it.
I dont think I wanted it.

*snuggles everyone*
Oh Zowie hun, please try and stay safe luv. Wed all feel so awful if anything happened to you, we love you so much.

lol Chloe, you can ask what I drew... Unfortunately I haven't drawn it yet... Too busy with uni work :crying: I got around three hours sleep last night and probably won't get any more than that tonight. Just feeling awful in general... Maybe something to do with the fact that I haven't taken my meds in a week... Anyway, what I want to draw is just a person sitting in a corner, knees up to their chest, head on their knees, arms wrapped around their head... Tis what I feel like most of the time. Ah, well, we shall see.

*snuggles some more then retreats to her corner with her I work*

*snuggles Alexx*
Who did what luv?

*tucks her sheep in* Sorry to hear you can't sleep Jeremy dear

My..first serious ex....
I lost it to him...
and convinced myself that's what I wanted....but...I'm thinking...
I dunno...thinking back...It just seemed like a lot of pressure put on me...and...alot of him using his strength against me...
I didn't want it
he told me he did...and i did...
and i believed him :crying:

*cuddles alexx*

Not sure wat's going on..but i hope ur alrite

*walks over to his bed and hopefully collapses to sleep* hmm

*Sits in the corner for a while to calm down*

*waves hello to jess*

Jess....is it what i think?

*waves back*
I'm friendly...on the whole

Waves of anger
Been getting them on and off for a few days now
Wanting to put my fist through a window for instance
At dinner, slamming the baking tray down too hard on a glass so it splintered
I wanted to carry on :/
Having an angry moment :/

((((zowie)))) hope assessment goes ok, mybe hospital not a bad idea for a bit, please tell them everything

Ally i draw pics like that all the time, just sums how you feel doesn't it? hope work is going x

*hugs everyone else*
*hides in corner*

This is me, exhausted :yawn:

Almost done with the reading for one paper... thankgoodness cause that one has to be at least 10 pages and is due tomorrow at 4 o'clock

Running on caffieene and about three hours of sleep... woo hoo

Jo, you're right, the drawings do help... I'll have to post those I have done in a thread and share them... I'm not a feelings person and these are what I use to convey what others seem to be able to do naturally *shrug*

*snuggles everyone* Take care all. I hope to be able to be of more support when I'm done with these damn papers :pinch:

*retreats to her corner with her papers and books and coffee*

*hugs Alexx*
I went through a similar situation with my first boyfriend.
I repressed what happened and then last month, I realised I'd been raped.
I'm assuming that's a possibility for you hun..*snuggles lots*
Don't feel ashamed if it did.
Do you remember saying yes?
Because if you said nothing or said NO and he still did it, that's rape hunnie and I'm sure you know
*lots of hugs*


*hugs everyone else*

I said no...I asked him to stop...more than once

I could swing for him :@

I get to hide....every Thursday...

Thisisn'thelpingmyanger

If I saw him outside of college, I would lamp him one, I kid not
You'd need to hold me back :/