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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 09:41 AM

-hugs back- Do you know how absolutely ****ed I am? I didn't even cry at my brother's funeral. I did before it a little but I can't cry. People probably thought I was so insensitive. But his death just...I couldn't handle it. I still cant and it has been over a month. I have lost 2 brothers now. 2. and I am only 22 years old. thats n ot spose to happen. I lost a baby on top of that. I just want it all to end. I been in torment for going on 16 years now. People keep sayin it will get better but I have yet to see it start gettin better. I just want it to end I want to be free..

-rocks back and forth-

MammaMia 21-12-2010 09:49 AM

You're not ****ed at all. Honey, it's okay not to cry over someone's death. When the tears/grief are ready, they'll come. Not everyone cries straight away or for a long time after when someone has died. I believe Lia has had a similar experience and I know April has too. I don't blame you for not being able to handle it, I wouldn't be able to if one of my brothers died or any of my other siblings. You'll cry in time Kitty. I know what it's like to lose a baby, one of the worst things in the world, so I can completely relate to that one. People are right when they say it'll get better. It just takes time, sometimes a very long time but it can happen. My best friend went through an awful awful amount of **** throughout her life and now things are slowly getting better for her.

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 09:49 AM

I want to go for a walk but I dont. For one its cold. For 2 if I do go I wont have anyone to talk to. :/

*Edit* - posted this at the same time that you posted. I have come to believe that I was put on this earth for people to torment and use and then throw away. -nods- Amara is evil but she very smart.

MammaMia 21-12-2010 09:59 AM

Don't go for a walk Kitty, stay here.

You've not been put on this earth for people to torment or anything like that. You're just unwell at the moment. Are you having any professional help?

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:08 AM

I have a counselor but since she is on "university time" I dont get to go back and see her until the 13th of january. I could schedule an "emergency" appointment with one of the school faculty but wouldn't do any good I don't talk to people I dont know in rl. Cant see my doctor until the 3rd.

-spots and hugs mark- hi mark how you be?

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:14 AM

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Kitty* Amara Is NOT right Kitty hun , please hang on . I haven't cried about my Grandmas death since I first found out Kitty , It's doesn't make us ****ed even though it kind of makes us feel so sometimes .

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Willow*

I thought I had 3 meetings today but Anne is on leave so it's 2 but Kat can't get in so Accupuncture is cancelled so it's just the 1 and thats been moved to midday heh . I'm feeling numb , pouring coffee into myself , getting out of bed has become so hard for me latley , I went through a phase when I felt okay that I would hop out of bed now I just lay there until I can work up the motivation to get up :S

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:19 AM

-hugs mark again- sorry to hear you are low at the moment. wish I was better able to help -cuddles mark- and sorry that your appointments got canceled and one got moved to this afternoon.

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:25 AM

*Squishes Kitty* Thanks , I was looking forward to accupunctre , it helps me relax and sleep but at least I get to meet my Nurse before she go's on maternity leave :)

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:34 AM

Yeah, that's a positive. -squishes back- Sorry I not better.

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:35 AM

should I go on a walk? =/ Amara says I should..

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:38 AM

Noo Kitty stay in , It must be pretty late where you are , and I think you should stay home tonight .

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:41 AM

its 2:41 am. She says I should go walk down the middle of the road..

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:44 AM

No Kitty , Please stay here , I'm about for 48 minutes if you want to talk , please don't listen to her , Don't walk down the middle of a road please hun thats so dangerous :S

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:45 AM

I bled for her but its not enough, she wants more...

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:49 AM

Don't listen to her Kitty Hun , I'm sorry you cut but let that be the only thing you do do tonight because of her , Perhaps you could sleep? , it's laaate where you are , I'm concerned about you :S

SparkleKitten 21-12-2010 10:49 AM

hey guys, just popping in, I'm still in bed and posting off my phone. Been ditched by a few friends recently and just can't motivate myself. I SI'd last night so I'm just fed up. I'll not be back until a lot later, take care *cuddles ward*

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:51 AM

-cuddles sarah- sorry to hear that hun

PsychoKitty2010 21-12-2010 10:52 AM

my last post vanished o.O

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:52 AM

*Cuddles Sarah* Don't beat yourself up hun , we are always here to listen .

Doikers 21-12-2010 10:52 AM

Ohhh what did it say Kitty ?

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