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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

MammaMia 20-07-2010 02:47 PM

About the same *cuddles*

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 04:59 PM

*hugs Oliver, Taz, Mark and Laura* I went with the sleep it off method...
*cuddles JK back*

*Hugs Oliver* I'm sorry you won't see Alex for 4 weeks but you can celebrate when you do see him again ! plan a meal out or something , just a thought . sorry if it's a useless idea :S
I wholeheartedly agree

*runs to cover front desk* I'll be back in later..

misskitty112 20-07-2010 06:22 PM

*hugs Mark* I'm so proud of you for telling your SW, I can imagine it drained you quite a bit though.

*hugs April* I hope you get an answer about the nightmares. Also, my fiance plays WoW... that is of no importance to this thread, but he gets all frustrated when the server goes down too.

*hugs to everyone else in the thread* I hope you all are doing ok...

I am exhausting myself. All I've done is get up, exercise, weigh, exercise, repeat... I shouldn't be doing this. I know it's not healthy. I know people worry. but I can't stop, it's either fall into the ED or SI. Currently, I'm doing both, but I guess people can live with the SI.
I'm looking into possibly doing residential, but the cost is such a big factor, but I know I have to do something... ya know?

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 06:43 PM

*hugs april* You are good enough at many things hun. I'm glad that jarrod was there for you last night. Did the crying help at all? They say crying can be a release... not always so sure that I agree with that because sometimes I feel worse afterwards... but I hope for you it helped a little bit considering you say that you almost never cry irl.

*hug mark* I am very proud of you for telling your SW about your plan too! That was a huge step. Good job.

*hugs crimson* glad that you managed to get some sleep. Hope you are feeling a bit better... if not *offers extra cuddles*

*hugs felicia* As you already know that what you are doing isn't healthy I wont say anything about that... but I doubt that people are just okay with the fact that you SI either.. ED stuff is just more visible I think so people comment on it more. I think a res program would be a good idea. Its good that you want the help though hun... I think wanting it is super important. If cost is a factor maybe you can somehow try to get some funding... something to look into?

*cuddles helen* I spy you!
Also, I'm sorry that you aren't feeling any better than yesterday. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know. Always around if you need to talk hun.

*hugs taz, jess, steph, heather, JK, and everyone else*

I sent a monster email (I mean it was like 900 words lol) to my friend after he left, he asked me too b/c sometimes i write better than i speak. I explained a lot about what a normal day of thoughts in my head is like. I wish i could say that writing it out helped, but all the things that I was able to write about are things that are already very clear in that circle my head every day... so I already have processed them quite a bit. I know that someday I am going to have to go deeper into those things and say things aloud... but I guess i can't currently.
*sigh* I just want to SI again. I did that several times yesterday though so I should probably try to fight urges today.

Doikers 20-07-2010 07:08 PM

Met with my nurse , she said I woulden't be so low/numb/suicidal if I didn't care about acheiving what my peers have acheived before me, if I didn't want the same for my life , Makes sense , I think I need to give it some thought ,It took the walk home and my sitting thinking about what she said before it hit me , then I rang my parents and was close to tears for the first time in ages and I started shaking, well my hands did. She has given me these daily diarys where you rate each 3 hour section of your day and say what you did and also she gave me papers that ask me to fill in what I have acheived and what do I enjoy that I've stopped doing , I'm going to struggle with the "What did you acheive today?" one I think . Sorry I ramble on . I am meeting her again on Friday.

I'm going to parents from tommorow afternoon to Friday lunch timeish so apologies in advance if I miss replying to you :)

I am Triggered , I want to cut and my hands are still shaking a bit , * walks away mumbleing somthing about distracting myself*

Oh And thankyou to all the people who said they are proud of me , means a lot :)


but I doubt that people are just okay with the fact that you SI either.. ED stuff is just more visible I think so people comment on it more.
I Agree with Laura, Felicia

one_step_closer 20-07-2010 07:24 PM

I'm here if anyone needs to talk.

I don't think I can cope with much more of my work placement. No one else on my course has turned up for theirs this week so I think i'm due a day off, even though i've only been in two days. It's just so dull and it makes my mood lower and the men in my head noisier sometimes.

shadowedsoul 20-07-2010 07:25 PM

hugs mark and everbody else.Hmm I'm thinking of walking away not sure it matters anymore idk why I'm writing this it's kind of pointless. =(

Doikers 20-07-2010 07:50 PM

Lindsay , I think you should take time off of your work placement , I think that you should put your personal wellbeing first * HUGS*

*HUGS Jill* I'm sorry you are struggling , What would you walk away from? , sorry if I missed a post or am being dense .

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 08:34 PM


*hugs crimson* glad that you managed to get some sleep. Hope you are feeling a bit better... if not *offers extra cuddles*
I am currently, yes. But I'm sure it's a bumpy road ahead... Trying 'writing therapy'...
How are you today?
*hugs everyone*
quiet again today...
*hugs mark, april, jk, laura, julie, taz, lindsay, felicia, hayley(even though she's not been in), jill, helen, jess, steph, heather, kat, kahlia and anyone else I inadvertently missed*

Doikers 20-07-2010 09:26 PM

April , How Did your NP Appointment go?* Hugs and feels guilty for wanting hugs back* I feel really drained still although a BIT of that may be down to the accupuncture (Helps me sleep I think) the other BIT is down to my having had 2 VERY intense conversations today .

*Hugs Crimson*

I am off to bed , *goodnight hugs* to all my fellow wardies , stay safe everyone :)

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 09:28 PM

*hugs crimson* writing therapy sounds interesting. glad you are doing okay so far today.

*hugs mark, jill, and lindsay*

*goes to sit in my dark corner*
oh and i updated my r/v if anyone is interesting.. just random whining i guess, i've talked about some of it a little in here so sorry for repeated info (http://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum...=106265&page=3)

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 09:28 PM

Goodnight mark! sleep well.

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 09:48 PM

good night mark *hugs gently so as not to awaken*

interesting is one way to put it, laura... i always shut down in actual therapy so i figured i'd give a go at just writing everything out and straightening me out myself... i'm trying to tackle it like a book though and may later alter it a bit and publish it as one. i thought this was a good tactic since i like to write and was working on a book or two anyway. i spose in a way this means i can write it from many perspectives and amend it to fit in my 'story' after the fact...

PoisonedApple 20-07-2010 09:53 PM

*sits with and huggles laura*

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 10:43 PM

I'm sorry I haven't posted much today, been kind of busy.

Felicia, you're in the States, correct? Well, there are several FREE (yes, completely free) residential programs that I've considered in the past. They don't deal with just ED or SI, but everything from unwanted pregnancies to SI, from drug/alcohol abuse to EDs. If you want I can find & give you the links to their sites. The only "downside" is that they are Christian - I am not sure what your faith is or if you have one, but you don't have to be a Christian to go there. It wasn't a downside for me considering them but that's because I am a Christian. Anyway. Just a thought. :) And also, I'm pretty sure that places like Renfrew and Rader offer partial scholarships... but I might just be pulling that out of a hat or something, I don't know. *gentle hugs*

Mark *cuddles and tucks into ward bed* I hope that you sleep well. I'm sorry I missed posting back & forth with you today, or chatting on FB - I miss the interaction!! Anyway, I'll bet you're tired - intense conversations do that to me too. But I think it's good that you've had them. Also, enjoy (or try to enjoy) the time at your parents'. :) *extra cuddles*

Laura, I'll try to read your r/v in a bit. :) *cuddles* I'm also glad that you managed to get an email out to your friend... maybe you can get some much-needed encouragement IRL that way. Sorry if that sounded dense... :-S

Crimson, how are you doing now? I hope that the writing therapy works... *cuddles*

*hugs Jill* What's up, sweetie?

Hels, I'm sorry that you feel/felt the same way (ish) that you did earlier... does that still hold true? *squishes* Hope not - hope you're feeling better, some.

Lia, Lia, where are youuuu? :P *sets out a box of hugs in case she comes in whilst I'm not about* I hope you're doing okay...

As to your question, Laura, I actually did feel a bit better after crying. Kind of like a loser since I never do and am used to considering myself (not others, just myself) as weak for even tearing up. Anyway. I'm glad that I managed to cry some...

As far as my NP appt, Mark (thanks for asking!!), it went alright. We DOUBLED the dose of the Tegretol that I'm on... so I'm kind of scared about that. Have still been having very bad nightmares, even when I nap - she commented that I must be quite tired to be getting to that stage of sleep where I have dreams/nightmares in a NAP... I hadn't thought of that before!! but I guess it's true. :-/ I don't like that. I hate being so tired. Was so exhausted this morning that my eyes were crossing inadvertently. It hasn't been "this bad" since 2007. Ugh. :( Also...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : female stuff, possibly WTMI... heh
...one thing my NP did say is that low levels of Abilify can cause prolactin levels to go up (go figure? - I'm taking 20mg/day now instead of 30mg/day)... which explains the breast tenderness I've been experiencing lately. VERY annoying!!!! But anyway...
(Okay men, you can come out of hiding now :P) But that really was about all that "came out" of the appt. I have to have bloodwork again in a week to 10 days... fun. :-X

I've been a bitch most of the day & I don't know why. :( I hate me so much sometimes. :'(

*hides in a hole and cries*

MammaMia 20-07-2010 10:47 PM

I'm still bad/suicidal oh well, no needs to care? :)

*cuddles all*

SoMuchMore 20-07-2010 11:22 PM

*hugs crimson* hmm.. writing therapy sounds like a good idea. If you ever publish a book i'll definitely read it :-) I'm working on 2 book myself. One about me and one fiction one.

*hugs april* I'm glad your NP appt went okay and that the change of meds works okay for you and that side effects go away or settle down. Crying is not weak at all though. I hate crying too, but its good to cry sometimes. Glad that you felt a little better afterwards. Hope you're doing okay right now. Your not a bitch.

*hugs helen* I care. I always care about you hun.

Kahlia1981 20-07-2010 11:24 PM

*huggles everybody*

Going up to the hospital with my housemate today. He's having an echo and a stress test for his heart. A bit scared (read incredibly/terribly anxious) but I know that he is too, and I want to be there for him.

Thanks to everyone who has been sending me encouraging words. Still struggling. Got to send my psychiatrist another email today - appointment is next week. Hopefully he'll have some ideas.

*big hugs to all of you*

Scarletdreamer 20-07-2010 11:24 PM

*cuddles Hels* Glad we had a chance to chat on FB, sorry I had to take off so quickly. :( People DO need to care, to help you, and I hope that you start feeling a bit better soon. :(

shadowedsoul 20-07-2010 11:25 PM

Hugs everybody that hugged me, sorry forgotten who hugged me heads kind of allover the place to night.
Big bear hugs for Helen of course we care.
Hmm doesn't matter, it's kind of going ahead now or will be after this post. It's okay everthings fine nothing to worry about so please don't as it's not what it sounds like. If I'm making any sence problely not. =(

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