RYL Forums - Virtual Psych ward!

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*hugs Mark* no, you didnt miss anything.

People just don't care how ****ed up my life is. (not people on here of course, the people at home)

we here care , If you're up to sharing ? I'm off to bed soon though but I won't ignore you , even if all I have are hugs :)

Tired,
*Night time hugs My Wardies*

G'night Mark!
*tucks him in his ward bed with a plushie*

*huggles all*

Sorry for the lack of individuals or anything right now guys, just struggling to hang on. Really just want to disappear. *sigh*

*huggles Kahlia* Glad you're hanging on :)

I'm feeling better today, thank god. So if anyone needs me im here. I'l do my best to help :)

*Hugs Mark*

*Hugs Felicia*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*waves* glad you're feeling better today :) not many people in here though, quite slow moving today.

Oh sorry did i miss you out? Thanks, how are you?

Eh, I dunno how I am today... But I've been hopping around the site most of the day... takes up time. Time always either seems to be too slow and drawn out or to rush by... Never is there just the right amount of time. Ever notice that?

I get that feeling sometimes Crimson, it's not the best!! *huggles*

*hugs Ian* Glad you're feeling better.

Thanks Helen. How are you? Yes, although i actually prefer the time to go really fast. I cant stand it when the time goes really slow, it drives me :crazy: Last Friday i felt the time dragged and it really annoyed me, it seemed endless.

The following content has been hidden - Reason : maybe triggering

*starts a group hug with oliver in the center*
We're here if you wanna talk.

*hugs everyone*
I'm going for the night... PM me if you need.

Oliver: I'm sorry you feel that way hun. You really need to talk to someone IRL if you have a date with your plan - preferably someone professional - even if that date is some way off. It's horrible to have those thoughts, but I can promise you that they will not always be there if you can manage to hold on through the rough stuff. If can't rain all the time. *offers hugs*

*hugs Crimson* Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed-bugs bite!!

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Ian*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Oliver* Please talk to your Psych Dr / Social worker / Crisis Team / CPN . You really need to put a plan into place to avoid your suicide plan , you would be so missed .

Right .......Here is me asking you guys for something.
Tomorrow (Thursday) Morning at 10am British time is My Grandmas Funeral, could I please ask for prayers ( from those of you who pray) and general positive thoughts and vibes for my family ? I hope it's okay to ask this .
Thankyou :)

5th at Curveball .........slowly slowly catchy monkey :P

*hugs mark* I'll send some positive thoughts for you.

*Hugs Oliver* Thankyou :) How are you feeling?

*hugs mark* like hell to be honest, hardly slept, crisis team just been, told them I have a date, but they didn't seem particularly bothered as it was in a few months, they are more obsessed with this meeting i have with uni next week and they seem to think that is what is making me so suicidal, I'm trying to tell them its not.
How are you doing?

Mark: *big hugs* - Well done at curveball. Sending *positive thoughts and vibes* your way for the funeral. I hope you all manage to give each other comfort at this time. Please don't ever feel bad or like it isn't okay to ask for ask for support, which is all you have done here. *big hugs* to you big brother.

Oliver: *big hugs* I know it wasn't directed at me, but what is the meeting at/with uni that the crisis team is so worried about? Is it something to do with exams or assessment etc.? I'm just wondering because sometimes here they assume that you can't handle things like that without going suicidal even when that has absolutely nothing to do with it. They just start going off about it being all subconscious ... Anyway, please try to keep yourself safe.

*huggles everybody else*

Sorry for not replying more but I'm not functioning all that well right now and am about ready to crash out for the night. I definitely need some sleep.

*hugs everyone*

I'm sorry, i'm not up to individual replies. Just feel so hugely down.

Hugs ward. Sorry we're struggling so much xx

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Oliver*

*Hugs Lindsay*

will be thinking of you and fam mark <3

*comes in and hugs all*

*sits down to read a story for you all*

*Hugs* Thanks Heather :)

*Pays attention to Lore*

*Brags* 4th on curveball AND I figured out how to delete lower scores :P

hahaa heather.
I wrote a short story today...

The following content has been hidden - Reason : trigger? and long

I do not intend to offend anyone with this story. I know gay and transgender people and I like them!

Delayed flight

'Flight number 2648 from Wellington International Airport, gate 13 to John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York City is delayed for 40 minutes due to technical problems.'
This is going to be a long night, I thought. Then I went to get another coffee. The last weeks were exhausting, first the wedding of my cousin in Perth and then the whole thing all over New Zealand. I wish I had the time to sleep on the plane, but I really had to catch up with the paperwork.

Sometimes I'm wondering why I wanted to have this job. I don't hate it, actually I really like it. It's always exciting, never gets boring, or a routine that's the same every day. Sometimes I wish I had one of those boring office jobs, a routine, good pay. I would finally have some time for my family. Wouldn't have to worry about my marriage or if I'll lose my two girls. It's actually just a matter of time now. That's probably the worst, waiting for the inevitable, for something to happen but not knowing when it will happen. It's almost a relief when it finally happens. The inevitable.
That reminded me of the last weeks. I knew he would do it again and I knew why he would do it again. I had the perfect profile. I knew how exactly he did what he did and I knew what motivated him... I probably knew him better than he knew himself. So, when I told the guys that were working the case with me that he would do it again they didn't believe me. I told them how he would do it and I told him why he would do it. The only thing I didn't know was when he would do it again. I could not convince them. That's the problem with foreign authorities, they don't trust us.
I was lucky and only had to wait for four days. The couple was definitely not as lucky as I was. At least he did it fast, they didn't suffer long.

When they got the call that they found another couple from the hotel it was such a relief for me. I don't enjoy it when things like that are happening, but it is such a relief when all the waiting is over.

I paid for the coffee and went back to the seating area at gate 13. The coffee was great, a million times better than the coffee I had in the last weeks. That's one of the things that are the same everywhere. The coffee at the police station tasted like it was made with old dishwater. Almost made me feel like home.
There was a flatscreen at the wall with the news on. They were talking about the surfing world champion ships in LA. Not very interesting. I checked my watch, still 25 minutes left.
The flatscreen caught my eye again, now there was a familiar face on the screen. The officer who was in charge of the case made an official statement that they caught the bad guy. The woman three seats next to me sighted relieved and kissed the man next to her. The case was in the media for weeks, almost always with bad news.
Now they showed the pictures of the victims when they were still alive. My cousin and her husband were there, too. It was the picture we took at their wedding. They went on their honeymoon to New Zealand and got killed after just two days. I got the call when I was on my way to the airport in Perth. Ten minutes later my boss called me, I should go to New Zealand and help the police there. It was because I was already in Australia, so they didn't have to send someone all the way from Virginia. He said he heard about my cousin. He knows that it is not good to work on a case where relatives are involved, because of all the details and you can't get too emotinal on the job. I told him I was fine with it, told him that I hadn't seen them for quite a long time before the wedding, that we weren't really close. I thought I could handle it but it was harder than I thought. I have to admit it was quite a traumatic experience.

To be at the crime scene, to analyze what they did. To see them, look at the wounds, her slit throat and his stabbed chest. To figure out that he slit my cousins throat first. The killer came from behind and surprised them. To imagine the terror on my cousins face when she felt the knife at her throat while he was inside her. The blood on her face, her hair. The killer pulled my dead cousin from her husband, then he stabbed his chest. It was obvious for me that they weren't his first victims. He already had a lot of practise. I remember the photos with all their gruesome details, the pale corpses.
Later, when we were interrogating the killer I asked him why he always killed couples on their honeymoon and why he had the men look away from their wifes. He told him, that he once was engaged but his lover broke up with him and married a woman instead. He felt betrayed by the love of his life.

'Passengers of flight 2648 from Wellington International Airport, gate 13 to John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York City can start boarding. First class passengers please come to the information desk.'

I startled and came back to reality. After I fully realized that it is finally time to board the airplane back home I got up in a hurry to get on the plane.

It's based on a dream I had about 3 years ago. I changed a lot though. The killer was dressed as a squirrel and he put makeup on the faces of his victims to make the look like squirrels, thats why he was gay in the dream. It made a lot morse sense in the dream.

Go Mark! You're gonna be 1st soon

wowww o.O
sounds like Criminal Minds :P

I didn't watch criminal minds in ages.
It probably reminds you of it, because the character is a profiler.

How are you?

yeh i know =p.

im... stressed.
if i finish this assignment in an hour it'll be a miracle =\

I think I need to be banned from facebook LOL!!! Some people are just RIDICULOUS!

Awesome Mark :) Is it helping to distract you?

*Hugs Lore*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Helen* Curvebal really distracts me for a 5 minute stint at a time yep .

I am at my parents sat in the living room with my parents , uncle and brother in law . we are being picked up tomorrow at 9.10am to travel to the funeral .

*hugs Mark* going to think about the funeral tomorrow. It must be hard to go there.

hugs mark - be thinking about you

hmmmm... curveball really is an interesting game, while you're playing it anyway :)
*huggles mark and sends positive thoughts*
*hugs everyone in the ward*
How is every one doing today?

*Hugs Lore*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Crimson*

How are you all?

I'm having a headache, so will probably go to sleep soonish... (no painkillers in the house...)

*hugs all*

I'm really sad still. Oh well.

*hugs wardies*

Mark, hope tomorrow goes smoothly for you guys, all our (from wardies) are with you xxx

Thanks Helen *Hugs* :)

*hugs Mark* You're welcome x

I dont want to take any Diaz before the funeral tomorrow , I may have to take some at the family gathering afterwards but I want to be "sober" to say goodbye to my Grandma .

Good luck for tomorrow Mark. You'll feel better at the end of it, that looming dreaded day will be over. But whatever you do, stick it out until the end. You will regret it if you don't and spend every moment you're not knowing you should be there. *Hugs*

Tired *Night time Hugs My Wardies*

I may not get online tomorrow so don't worry if I'm not about :)