*hugs Kitty lots* please stay safe.

I may try sleeping soon, its gone 3am here. I have a crisis team appt at 12 and then have to get the train to town to g to thejob centre to get the to change my name on my national insurance number. I don't want to have to do it, cos it means talking to people I don't know, going out in public and people being arses and giving me odd look when tey realisewhy I've changed myname.
god I sound like such a wimp, I should be used to the odd looks, had a hell of a lot worse, but i still hurts, is that stupid of me?

I'm hangin in Kitty. Struggling with letting a wound heal. REALLY frustrated with my husband, but trying!

*hugs ya back* Thanks!

*hugs Solo* sorry to hear your husbd is frustrating you and please try to let the wound heal and look after it

No oliver, it is not stupid of you. Unfortunately, people don't understand. And, people fear what they don't understand. There are a lot of people out there like that. -hugs- But everyone here in the ward loves you for who you are, including me. If nothing else, you have us. I hope it goes ok and that people aren't as bad for you tomorrow.

Solo, please look after your wound. Do you need medical attention for it? If so you should go to A&E or the ER if you can. If not, maybe ask one of the wound care advisers? -hugs again-

Thanks Oliver!

Thanks Kitty, I guess your right, I'm just so used to the looks, name calling, abuse etc when being out in public. Plus being home for the holiday still and in the town where I went to school, I'm always scared I'll see someone from school which would be majorly awkward as I was livng as female al the way through school.
I just assume everyone see's me as a freak and someone to laugh at, its hard to break that.

*hugs Kitty and Solo*

Thanks Kitty! It's a wound that's almost healed. I always wanna open em back up when they're almost healed.

I'm sorry you're goin through such a frustrating time!

I can't relate to that, oliver, but I understand how it could be hard. I'm sorry that I don't really know what else to say. But I do empathize.

Meh, the smallest things have been setting me off lately. I don't know if it's the "possible" BPD or if it's me being pregnant...because I still don't know for sure if I am pregnant or not. I really need to find out if I am pregnant or not. -sighs- -hugs her knees-

Thanks Kitty *hugs*

-hugs oliver- No problem. If you need to rant feel free to PM me. Goes for you too, Solo. Or you can talk here, either way.



I don't want to be alone right now. Is that pathetic?

thanks Kitty, same to you and all the wardies.

thats not pathetic Kitty *hugs*

-hugs oliver- I'm kinda scared of myself. :(

*hugs Kitty* please stay safe.
Try to distract yourself, some music, watch something, read.

It's not pathetic at all kitty! I totally understand not wanting to be alone!

It's so sweet of you to offer support to me when you're going through such a tough time yourself! Thanks! *hugs*

-hugs oliver- I'm trying to distract myself. But Amara is not being nice. She's being louder than the show I'm trying to watch.

-hugs solo- That's just the type of person I am. I will always be that way. I'm just sorry I'm not able to be more help.

I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so fidgety because I am so triggered. I am getting to the point where I can't even focus on my distractions anymore. I am scared. I wish I could just go to the hospital...I know I would be safe there...but I can't afford to.

*sits with Kitty, if ok* *squises* please stay safe and concentrate on your distractions

-hugs her knees and rocks back and forth- I'm trying. But I'm losing my concentration. I'm having problems with dissociation again. I really want to cut and my tools are not too far from me. They are not in reach but they are in this room and I can easily get them. And I probably wouldn't even notice. Most of the time when I cut it's when I am dissociating any more. -sinks into herself-

try and focus on small things, smells, touch, just little things which can keep you grounded.