:) Thank you

*curls up under something and sleeps*

Having an angry day *sits in corner punching a pillow*

Just really angry at everything and everyone. Especially myself.

Life just keeps getting in the way. So overwhelmed. Throwing in the towel and ready to relapse.

*hugs for Kathryn_Anna*
Feel for you hunny.

*hugs all in here*

*puts some brownies on the table in the room*

Having a really rough time right now... almost feel like doing some type of SH/SI... but I am trying to reach out to my psych... if he would only respond to me since I sent him an email which he said was okay to do

Sorry for being away so long guys, two trips to Brisbane for ECT so far this year and life decides to give me another push by screwing my spine and leaving me on a wheelie walker. Finally managed to catch up with uni so now can focus on other things.

*safe hugs to anyone who need them*

I noticed that there are some new people around so hey! Welcome in. Grab your bear, pillow and blanket (or whatever you find comforting) and get comfortable.

I also noticed there has been a fair bit of anger around. Don't worry, we are here for you through thick and thin. Let that anger out here, a safe place.

Thanks for the brownies Matt *hugs*

xbeautifully_brokenx: Congratulations on the progress you've made so far. Even if you slip/slipped it doesn't mean that you have to start again, you just had a bad time. Having gotten that far once shows that you have the strength, courage and resilience to do it again. *hugs*

Kathryn_Anna: First, can I call you Kat? I can fully understand where you are right now with life throwing everything at you. *hugs*

With my physical deterioration my mood hasn't been great, in fact it keeps dropping but I am still getting there.

*hugs anyone who wants them*

*puts mugs of hot chocolate on the table*

*gets comfy on the couch with her pillow, bear and blanket*

Attachment 23088
(Click for larger image)

Can't find if there is a SI board type one so here I am.

My cravings are getting beyond me. All because I'm on annual leave due to mistakes I've made at work. Urges are nuts and I've cried so much it sucks. Feel so alone 😭😭

Feel free to call me Kat, Anna, KA, however you feel like shortening the name.

Thanks for the hugs, hot chocolate and brownies.

All I want to do is curl up on the couch and hide. I don't want to adult, I don't want to have to explain anything to anyone, I just don't want to. I've been having so many panic attacks. I am so overwhelmed I just can't keep up. *sigh*

*Flops*

I dunno if I am Remembered here but I feel I should rejoin for my own selfish reasons.

"Offers safe hugs for doikers*

Hi Kathyryn Anna , Ty For the hugs , My name is Mark :) I used to live on this thread , but only really remember Kahlia and Matt . I'm feeling really unsteady and let down atm and thought I'd come back , for a while at least , If I am welcome back of course.

How are you all?

Of course you are welcome back Mark! Do you want to talk?

I'm making it through. Really wanting to sh but haven't... Yet. I can just feel like I'm on the verge of another panic attack. Just ugh right now.

Thanks Kathryn :) I hate panic attacks myself too :( I hope you are okay .

Thanks Mark. Yeah, I'm trying to be OK. Panic attacks are a relatively new thing for me. I don't know how to explain what it feels like to hubby and he doesn't think they are serious. So fun times.

You doing any better?

Not great . My head is all over the place and kind of feeling abandoned.

I'm sorry you are feeling abandoned. Know you are always welcome here. And I'm only a pm away if you ever want to talk. <3

I fear my mind

If I ever get an appt It's impossible to be honest

I feel the same way Mark. I just wish I could text and not actually be face to face. Writing is so much easier for me.

Why do you fear your mind?

hey
I've never been in here, but it seems like a nice place.
I'd been kind of inactive on the site for quite a while but hoping to find a better community than last time. Since I'm not 13 anymore I thought I could try vets :p
and stuff sucks lately so I could use the support.. so hi

*waves to all and settles under a blanket*

*waves* hey ribbonoflight, I'm sorry to hear stuff is sucking lately. <3

Hi Ribbons!

I don't really know time it is . . . .

Sleep is so over rated. *yawn*

Thank-you <3
I don't expect anyone to remember until when/if I get my username change but I prefer to go by Drew.

My job is really messing with me lately. It's this terrible balance of "I honestly don't think I can handle this" and "I cannot afford to quit and look for a new one right now."

Trying to get myself into college this fall but everything is painful and overwhelming already. I can't imagine how I'll manage it when I'm taking classes and working :(

Hi Drew :) IDK what time you have in Canada , are you able to take a day or two holiday from work to rest your mind?

Unfortunately no. I'm one of only 2 people trained to work the laundry room at a very busy hotel, and my boss is not very considerate. I haven't had 2 consecutive days off in over a month, and I don't have a set schedule where I work the same days or times. I just get told when to be there and I have to stay until the work is done. I get holidays but I have to book them at least a month in advance an if it happens to fall in a busy week I won't get them approved.

The past two days have been very chaotic because we had a power outage and fell behind in laundry, and then people without electricity all came to stay at the hotel to wait it out so.. Sudden full house. We can't catch up. I've been starting at 7 and finishing at 5 the past few days.

I'm just.. exhausted. I can't wait to get out of there. With everything else going on it's just too overwhelming. I want a 3 month long vacation where I don't leave my bed.

Hey Drew!

Is there a way for you to get a more set schedule? Like Mondays you'll open and Tuesdays you'll always have off or something like that. I've done the crazy schedules and it definitely adds more stress than necessary.

How are you doing Mark?

I might try something like that. *nods*

Hi all. Feeling a bit broken and panicky. First day back at work jitters, on top of general crappy triggery stuff. Gonna leave my emotions on here so I can do the shift.

I'm just up. Too early to really tell.

How are you guys n gals?

I wonder if the MH advocate is off this Easter Monday . . . .

Hope you all are well.

I'm not ready for the day. No school for the older one today since he's on break all week. So much to get done. And cranky little one already. *yawn* I really want to curl up and go back to bed. Well, go to my actual bed for the first time. The couch is not the best sleeping places. Hubby says I need to try to be productive. Meh.

*Offers Hugs to Kathryn*

Thanks Mark. *hugs*

I really need some coffee. And a nap.

Survived the shift. Several mini panic attacks. Feel awful over everything and nothing.
Need sleep.

Well done on getting through your shift , Eir.

I don't know how I'd cope with a Job , I want a couple of hours to ease myself into work as my MH is fragile and show's no signs or anything different for years and years . Thing is as the volunteer buero is gone I cannot even volunteer as I am on benefits and the DWP ( Department of Work and Pensions ) rules say that if I am able to volunteer for like 2-3 hours a week without support I am able to work full time . Benefits Stopped straight away. This happened to my friend , Hannah , She lives in a flat owned by her parents do they waived the rent . Somehow I don't think Wales and West Housing Association would be so kind . . . . Kinda stuck untl the next DWP Medical because yes, I have to be seen by a Body Dr to assess if I should get benefits despite claiming on psychiatric grounds , I've been poked and prodded and reflex tested but none of that is even relevant.

I am sorry to rant , I didn't set out too.

Hope you sleep well Eir :)

Glad you made it through Eir :)

It's okay to rant Mark. That's what it's for. Maybe it's just me but I can't see 2-3 hours of unsupported volunteer work as equal to 30+ hours for full time work. 2-3 hours is giving you a little more purpose without a ton of added stress. Full time is an entirely different ball game. I'm sorry :(

Glad you made it out the other side Eir. Rest well.

And ah, that's really unfair Mark :/ Lot of broken nonsense systems everywhere, unfortunately.

2-3 hrs isn't even considered part-time here. Our government set the bar at 15 hrs/week for DSP. The system there seems rather dumb. :-/
Back at work again. Slept ok. Better today because rhythm and routine. Ignore the triggers but gotta do something about them soon.
I don't like this responsible part of adulthood. It's firetrucked. But someone's gotta do it. The man isn't capable. I'm great at burying the crap to get sugar-honey-ice-tea done. But I'm sick of it being my responsibility alone. Sick to death of it.

Well I think it's 16 hours a week here but I just cannot cope with that , what with one MH thing after another I don't even recall when the last time was I worked let alone what it was . . . .

Can I just ask who is cool with hugs here please ? I don't wanna overstep the mark.

I don't like adulthood either Eir , Then again I didn't like being a kid so . . . .

Hope you all Have/ are Having/Had a decent Tuesday :)

*hugs for Mark* I never mind hugs. Hugs are good. I'm Anna BTW.
I didn't like childhood either. Generally dislike existing.
Made it through another shift. I love my job. I just am struggling. They've made it hard.
I'm a bit vacant right now. Overwhelming impulse to hurt myself. But nothing's particularly wrong.
Hugs and cookies for all who want them. I'm just gonna find a bookcase to sit up on top of.

Hello Annie, Mark, Kat, Drew and SilentGirl and anyone I may have missed

First I am giving *hugs* to anyone who wants or needs them and is comfortable with accepting them. I will also give *safe hugs* to anyone who wants or needs them and can accept them.

Right now my mood is extremely low and I am constantly having strong urges to SI and attempt suicide. My back injuries are definitely contributing since I'm 34 years old and unable to walk without a wheelie walker and frequently require a wheelchair just to get around. I really don't want to be here in this life anymore. *sigh*

I am always open to hugs. Something about a good hug always calms me enough to think a little more clear.

Glad you made it through your shift Anna.

Sorry you have back troubles Kahlia. I've got minor back issues so I can only imagine how you feel. *hugs*

I'm doing OK. No urges to sh at the moment. But I find myself more often than not on sensory overload. It just gets too overwhelming at times.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

I shall *Glomp you all* Remember a Glomp Kahlia? :P]

Hugs are usually nice.
*sends peace and snowflakes to all*

So had performance appraisal today. Work is aware I'm struggling. They are gonna change the wing I work. So that is terrifying, cos I need to work out a routine again.
Just plain old flat today. Eh.

Hey Kat, I count myself lucky that the nerve root compression misses those needed for bladder and bowel control. Don't get me wrong, I would dearly love the pain to go away but I'm fully aware that that won't happen until after the surgery. *sigh*

Yep I definitely remember the Glomp big brother.... *glomps you right back*

Annie I'm sending you all my thoughts and wishes that things will be okay.

As hugs are nice Drew I'm sending you heaps. *hugs*

My husband and his daughter have left for a couple of nights on an island close to us. Since they have left the only thing that I have been thinking about is harming myself. Every single plan for every single option that I have is just going around and around in my head and I don't know what will stop it.

*Disappears into her pillow fort with her bear, a hot chocolate and some biscuits immediately after leaving heaps of both on the table*

It's a pity you couldn't join them Kahlia. I hear the island is beautiful. Never had the chance to go myself, maybe next time I'm up your way Ill go. If finances permit. Love to meet you too.
Be safe. Thinking of you