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*rolls out welcome mat for Lynx* Course you can come in here, sounds like you need some of our world famous care and support. Hugs are also readily available if you like them. I am JK, and I'm off to bed, but there are lots of others around and no doubt on their way so they will look after you *nods*
Enjoy your stay, *grins and wanders to bed* |
night jk
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Thanks, JK. Night night. *hug*
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Hi, Owen *tries to smile* *hug*
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i... i um -tenses shoulders and wriggles slightly-
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HI Lynx, *hugs*
*waves to Owen* *hugs JK goodnight* *sits in corner crying* |
*hugs everyone, but waves to Owen & then sits with Oliver*
What's wrong honey? :( Welcome Lynx, JK was very right in what she said about us :) Sorry I'm still not really doing individual replies, but I really do care about each and everyone of you. No harming if we can try please & we're all amazing people. No matter what we ourselves may believe/be told :( To everyone who asked...it was good hyper :) Kept listening to old songs, as was making a song list for my 21st party. Which isn't for another 10 months yet. Wooops!!! Suposse to be seeing the boyfriend today as haven't seen him for a wee while :( Was going to have my blood taken today, but don't know if I feel up to it. I feel low.. |
*hugs April* Virtual lunch it is , I'm having the carb free Virtual Pasta :) what are you having ? Anyone else care to join us for lunch ?
*Hugs JK* It's good to take things one day at a time , baby steps ok , and you will come through the other side , you WILL *Hugs Oliver* I hope your phone call goes well with your Mum , Sending positive thoughts if ok ? *Waves at Owen* How are you ? *Spots a Helen* How are you today Helen? |
*Hugs Lynx* HI I'm Mark , I'm sorry you feel so crappy but we all here will listen to you and help any way we can :) We're a friendly bunch
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thanks Mark *hugs*
*hugs Helen* had the phone call it was horrible, basically my mum had a talk with my sister last night and my sister just basically doesn't want to know me anymore, my mum said she should talk to someone, but my sister refused and shouted at my mum that she must never tell anyone my sister knows. My mum kept saying its hard for Ellie, saying she has lost a sister, yes ok in a way she has, but I'm still here still the same person and its hard for me to. I hate the fact I have upset her, but someone on another forum said I havn't done anything wrong, which I guess is true, all I'm doing is trying to live my life truthfully, in a way not telling people would be doing something wrong because then I would be living a lie. sorry for the lack of replies, I can't keep up at the moment, keep just randomly crying and got to go in a minute to my counselling session and got a 3 hour rehearsal tonight, which I am already anxious about and I really don't want to have a panic attack. *hugs all those who want hugs* *curls up crying in a dark corner* |
Mark, I answered your question in the post above yours :P
Oliver, I'm so sorry sweet. Maybe she'll talk again and just needs to process it in her head & stuff? I hope you don't have a panic attack and that your counselling & rehearsal goes well. I spy April *jumps on* |
JK, love, people on here DO care... I'm sorry that you feel like they don't IRL, but we do on here... so I'm glad that you posted & updated us. :) I'm so sorry to hear about your friend & the funeral, and how triggered you were... :( That really is yuck, but at least you're maybe doing a bit better now? I hope you have a good night... *hugs gently* And you're welcome for me asking... I care about you and everyone else in here... quite a lot actually. *cuddles*
I spy a Mark and an Oliver!! :) *waves at Owen* How're you doing? I have some clay over here if you want to help me make a pot, I really suck at pottery but it's a lot of fun if you have the time. :) I'm so tired... got up at 6:30ish after dozing from 6ish on... have nothing scheduled today but will be working like a fiend (I hope!!) on my health psych and soc papers. Ugh. I really don't want to do any of that, but... oh well. :( I am so "over" uni it's not even funny... I just want to be done. The end is soo close but I can't see myself getting there. I guess somehow I will? but I am close to being suicidal, so... well, yeah. :-X I'll try to stay on here a lot today though - WoW is down for maintenance, it usually is on Tuesdays, from 8am-2pm my time, so that gives me plenty of time to work on stuff. My mum might be coming over too, so that would be nice. :) Played WoW this morning with Jarrod's 80 paladin helping my "wittle wogue" (little rogue) who just dinged level 22 and is now halfway through it!! :D And that's not even with the Refer-A-Friend account. So I like having help with quests... lol. She hit level 20 what, day before yesterday? so yeah... :) I'm worried about tomorrow... I have to go be interviewed by my internship supervisor. I'm pretty much accepted for the internship, I just have to figure out hours and such. Oh, and I also have to let her know that I might have to have my wisdom teeth out during the internship so that may interfere with hours. :-X I don't know though. I am NOT looking forward to that... :-/ Anyway, enough waffling, sorry... :o *hides in a deep, dark, invisible hole in the corner* |
Hels, you must've had your invisibility cloak on again!! :P Shame shame... lol. I'm glad that it was a good hyper. *glomps* :) How are you doing this morning? feeling low, you said... as low as you have been or a bit better? I hope the latter... :)
Mark, what sauce are you having on your carb-free pasta? :D *cuddles* I'll have, ummmm... *thinks hard* Well, I guess I'll go with the breakfast-for-lunch thing and have carb-free blueberry pancakes (the sweetish kind) and cholesterol- and calorie-free tapioca pudding. Lol. :D Anyone else care to join?? Oliver, I'm awfully sorry to hear that about your sister... *holds you gently and rubs your back, if that's okay?* That's really rough. But, as I said, I guess the only thing you can do is give her time. She might come 'round, might not, but it's about YOU, and how YOU live your life... which is also rough to take, I know, but as you said, it's about living your life truthfully, and I'm proud of you for doing that. :) *big bear cuddles* Nighty night, JK. Pleasant dreams. *cuddles* Tineke!! *glomps* I'm so sorry that you're not doing too well at the moment... but you can definitely come in here, it moves quickly so try not to be overwhelmed... but I'm glad that you hunted us out. :D Have missed talking with you. *gentle cuddles* ♥ |
Feeling low as I have, I scared myself earlier. I don't know if I meant to do it for the reasons you normally do...but hmmm =/
*hides* |
Hmmmm Tomato and herb and chilli sauce for my pasta methinks. April I've never had tapioca , is it nice?
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*Hugs everyone*
Aw April :-) *hugs* I had French fries and skimmed milk. Weird combo, I know, but it's better than having loads of sugar. I feel nauseous most of the time and I cry a lot. The following content has been hidden - Reason : SI trig
I feel like my life is passing me by... I had a shower with most of my clothes on and it made me feel warm inside. I'm fairly calm now. I hope Tom is doing well in studying. Might as well be that he's having as large a crisis as I am atm. Idk. *Hugs all* |
Tapioca is delicious. :D It's a little weird at first as it has these bead-like things of gelatin in it, but it is sweet and creamy (except for those) and tastes heavenly. :) Want to share a bit of mine? *spoons some into another bowl to share if he or anyone else wants to try it* And yum, tomato/herb/chili sauce... *unladylike drool* Lol... :P
Hels, what do you mean you "scared yourself"? *holds you gently* Please don't do anything "stupid," hon, okay? *rocks back and forth with you* Zippedeedoodah, zippededay, my oh my what a tired day... *sings softly to self* :( |
*cuddles Tineke* I'm sorry that you've been feeling so awful lately; can you pinpoint a cause or anything like that? I hope so... eventually, anyway. Sorry if that's too much of a "fixit" thing and not a "feelings" thing... Have you talked with Tom lately? and how've things outside your head been going? We haven't talked in awhile. :) (Sorry if it sounds like I'm discounting what's going on INSIDE of your head, not that way at all. I do care. *more cuddles, if that's okay*)
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It was something 'stupid'. I'm fine...
[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qCt70ungb4&feature=PlayList&p=5C2670E571D FB5D6&playnext_from=PL&index=0&playnext=1[/ame] Love that song so much..cry every time though. |
Hels, sweetheart, don't say you're fine if you're not. It is okay to NOT be fine. *holds you gently and rocks back and forth* Things will get better... we've just got to have faith. You're such a strong person... you can make it through this rough patch. I wish that I could be there for you IRL... :( even on MSN or whatever, but MSN doesn't work on my comp for whatever reason. *holds you some more*
I spy a Tineke and a Mark!! :D *cuddles* |
April: I can't really pinpoint one cause, no. I do know, though, that at the day I started crying on "Ave Maria" I had been seeing images all day of me cutting myself open... And yeah, I do talk to Tom. A lot. He's there whenever I need him although he has his own issues himself.
I still have a job, I still have a boyfriend. Oh wait... My mother has been very touchy, maybe that's the problem. I already told her to stay the hell off of me, numerous times, and she keeps persisting as if she wants me dead. This kind of stuff is where my issues came from in the first place so I'm NOT liking at all. I'm just doing very badly at the moment. Feeling horrible. *Complains* *Cries* Wθθθh. I hate this. |
April, bless you sweetheart. I do have to say I'm fine. Most people seem to get fed up with me when I repeatedly say I'm low etc :( So I lie. It's kinda better that way. Only a small few people see through the mask ;) *clings*
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*Hugs Helen* You don't have to lie and say you're fine to us in here , we do genuinally care about each other. We all have bad times sometimes and are here to listen and support the best we can :)
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*group huggle time... holds Hels and Tineke gently* Hels, sweetie, you don't have to lie here... God knows I don't... and no one's fed up with me for saying that I'm low so much - or are they? Please be honest with us at least, I don't think that anyone here minds you saying you're low. Let us help you.
Tineke, I'm sorry that you've been having those thoughts... they are so difficult to cope with. Are you taking care of the cut that you mentioned in your last (or so) post? *cuddles* It's fine to vent in here, let it out in a healthy manner... I will be stuck at the computer most of the day and so will be coming in here at various times, so I'll be able to respond relatively quickly. Please try & take care of yourself... do the best you can, anyway. What are your plans for the rest of the day?? I spy a Mark and a Laura!! *cuddles* :) |
Hey Mark, what's your favorite Delain song? Just wondering... I LOVE "Frozen" and "April Rain." :D Listening to "Frozen" now... :) Can't wait to order their album(s)...
Ugh, I hate writing this sociology paper!! but at least I have (barely) three pages now... a third done. :) *hides* |
I don't have to take care of the cut. It hurts a little when I touch it but it's not bleeding or whatever. It's superficial and it's nothing to be worried about.
I hope I'll be able to go to my grandma's. I think mum's coming home at 5 so I have about an hour and a half to decide. I was actually gonna go to Ghent to fetch books for my store now that I have money but I was so ill yesterday that I decided to stay in bed. I think I may be doing that again later today. Work tomorrow at 1pm. Should be fine. Plenty of time to recover from today's crisis. Edit: I was also planning to go look for my old Pokιmon stuff as Tom and I had a lot of fun with a pseudo Pokιball and a small plastic Pikachu he got from one of his friends. |
*cuddles everyone* I know I don't have to pretend...
We're a great gang =) I feel so old as I'm sorta an original haha, been living in this ward since late 2007 :O |
I LOVE "April Rain" thats the only album I have and their first song I heard off of it but it's so hard to choose lol
I am off to accupuncture in a bit , then (food) shopping . |
Lol Hels, you and I have been members for about the same amount of time but I wasn't an original in here... but I am older than you in IRL years. ;) *cuddles* So don't feel TOO old... although I suppose you are entitled to feeling a bit old. Lol.
Tineke, I hope that the rest of your day goes okay. Sounds like you have it packed pretty full of plans!! Me, just writing this soc paper then if I finish it (or if I get burnt out on it) start the health psych paper and also study for both. UGH. :( I hate life right now... it will (hopefully) be a bit better after finals week (this week) is over... two days and I (hopefully) will be done!! :D My last undergrad papers... :) "April Rain" is a gorgeous song, Mark, but I totally know what you mean as it's so hard to choose!! I'm planning on ordering some stuff soon... but mostly books to read over the summer for psych... about transactional analysis and some stuff by Albert Ellis (founder of REBT - rational emotive behavioral therapy, basically CBT - I think, anyway!!). Blah. It should be interesting reading though, as I love the topic. :) Hope you have a good time grocery shopping... pick up some pineapple for me, would you? :D Hehe... *cuddles* *sighs and hides once more* |
Hahaha bless us April. I know I'm not that old. Only 20 after all ;) I feel older. Argh I know it's bad but I want my 21st to hurry, just so I can have my party =P
*hides and cuddles with you* Will someone please motivate me to have a shower & tidy my room? LOL |
HAVE A SHOWER AND TIDY YOUR ROOM! not really motivation but might help :P
I miss u guys *cuddles all round* when u 21 Helen? Im 21 June 12th :D |
I'll be 22 in less than a month... still young I know but older than you. ;) Hehehe... :P *cuddles Hels* We're silly yet... but as shown by Jarrod, who is 28, you can still be silly approaching 30!! So we have nothing to worry about... plenty of time to be silly still. :D
Hmmm I need to tidy my room too, go through the books I have in there and figure out which ones need to go back to my parents' house, as the books are taking up ALL of the floor space on my side!! :o I have soo many here, about 6 thigh-high stacks, plus a bin. I am such a hoarder... lol. And most of them I've not even read... shame on me. :( But I will get to them eventually. :) Go take a shower, Hels... it will feel good... hot water cascading over your skin, relaxing you... plus you get cleaner hair that way and it will smell really good!! :D (heehee, I'm TRYING... :P) *cuddles all* JOCELYN!!!! I spy you!! *tackles* lol... and Hels and Mark too!! *big cuddles* |
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I can't get to the cupboard where the Pokιmon stuff is probably stacked because the floor is stuffed with crap :-(
And I'm hungry. I think I'm going to eat something. And yeah, Hels, taking a shower helps. It helped a bit with me, although that might have been because I know that part of my clothes are soaked and it'll take a lifetime for them to dry *gna gna gna* I like being sadistic in a weird way once in a while. *Hugs Jocelyn* Thanks for the PM back. |
*hugs helen* i loved my 21st birthday party. So fun lol. *sends subliminal motivating messages for cleaning*
*hugs april* Good luck with both of your papers. Im in the same boat as you trying to finish up uni stuff for the semester. Im so glad its almost summer... and i bet ur glad that ur almost completely done! *hugs Tineke* welcome! Im sorry to hear that you cut, but it sounds like you have a busy day planned. Hope that it is distracting *cuddles jocelyn* hi!!! We miss you too! how have you been? *hugs mark* hope your acupuncture goes well. *hugs JK* *hugs oliver* i hope that you dont have a panic attack too. I am sorry about the situation with your sister, maybe she just needs time... Its true though, you didn't do anything wrong, so don't feel too guilty. *hugs JK* thanks hun. Im sorry about your friend and that you were triggered at the funeral. And we definitely do care here. So please dont hesitate to update us on how u are. *waves at owen* *hugs kat, hayley, crimson, julie and everyone else* I can't exactly pinpoint why i feel so badly right now. I thought i was getting through things okay. I was feeling a little better about the ex situation and all... but there is this voice in my head now that keeps telling me that it is impossible for me to get better and that i am only fooling myself... Its been there since my nightmare the other night (it was only a small portion of the dream, but apparently it really stuck or something.) I dont know.. maybe im just being stupid, but it bothers me that my brain seems to keep reminding me that i am going to fail at getting better. |
Well that shower was good :D
Laura, ignore the voice, it's not telling you the truth *holds you* |
*sections self, into tiny padded room where nobody can get to me and i can't get out*
I can't cause trouble then. |
I spy a Hels!!! *glomps* I'm glad that your shower was good... but you apparently forgot your invisibility cloak somewhere about!! :-O Lol... :D How are you feeling now? (and you CAN say "low," that's okay!! *cuddles*)
Joc, we've missed you too. How's stuff at the hospital been going? Are you still interning/working there? How has stuff in general been going? *cuddles* Laura, hon, that "voice" isn't telling you the truth... you WILL get better, you've just got to keep having faith in that. I know that all of us in here believe that we are all capable of getting better... it just takes time, a lot of time and work, but time does heal, so the pain your ex caused you will decrease with time. I wish I could do more and say more to help... but I can offer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and arms to virtually hold you. ♥ Same goes for everyone else. :) Tineke, how're you doing now? I'm sorry you can't get to the Pokιmon stuff - never really understood that or got into it, I dunno. What exactly is it? I've seen Pikachu but that's about all I know about it... lol. Pretty pathetic. I hope that you got summat tasty to eat... :) So now our bedroom is more of a mess than ever!! I started unstacking books and currently have 2 bags full of books for my mum to take back to their house, and after finals are over I'll be sorting them & alphabetizing them on my bookshelves there. I have no bookshelves here at the apartment (which REALLY sucks) but at least I have them at my parents' house that I can still use... lol. I discovered some Jodi Picoult books that I forgot I had - my old therapist gave them to me - I have 10 total I think, maybe eleven... yeyy. Am planning on rereading ALL of them by the end of the summer. Hopefully. Well, not all of them... I just recently read Handle With Care and remember that one all too well... sad ending. :( Anyway. Now back to my stupid soc paper... :-\ I hate it!! Right now I'm writing about deviance and sexual abuse and SI and it's kind of triggering... and I don't know if I am doing it right. I just want to get this paper DONE - it's already 4 pages long - but I also want to do a REALLY good job on it... GAHHHHH!!!!!! *screams* *hides in shame* |
*cuddles April tight* I'd want to get that paper done fast & well too. Go you for having 4 pages done so far ^_^ Keep at it, soon be over. I'm bit hyper again, blame my party song list (so far :p) Would you like to see LOL
*cuddles Vicki & everyone lots* |
Sure, wouldn't mind seeing your party song list. :) I'm glad that you're kind of hyper, it will liven up the ward and also make you stay happy for a little longer. Hopefully you won't crash like I do though... *cuddles*
Just updated r/v thread... it's kind of depressing but I don't think that there are any obvious trigs. It's just low. I feel low. I feel like **** actually, and really want to cut - Jarrod's not here now and my mum's not here yet - so I could... I don't know... :-/ My NP just texted back... urgh. I don't know what she'll say in response to my text back... :-X *hides in an invisible hole after sending Vicki some cuddles* |
*Hugs Everyone who wants them*
*Gives Pineapple to April* Don't be so hard on yourself , UNI is almost over and you are working so hard , be proud of that ok? *Hugs Helen* YESSSS I would love to read your party song list :) *Waves at Owen* Sorry for lack of replies:S. |
*feels lonely* :(
*sits in the corner and tries to think about her soc paper and how happy she will be when she's done with it* :'( |
Mark!! *curls up next to* Lack of replies is okay, and thanks for the pineapple, just what I needed. Hehe. I love fresh or canned pineapple, my favorite fruit I think... peaches come close too though.
How are you doing?? |
Try to keep safe sweet. Sorry you're feeling so low *snuggles* I will no doubt crash again, so enjoying it for now...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Very long song list =P
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thanks hels, thanks april :(
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*Hugs April* I'm sorry you feel lonely , I do too sometimes , we can be lonely together? *Sits with April curled up by him* |
Pokιmons are animals but not really. They're being kept in balls as pets and when you want them to fight you throw your balls on the ground and they come out. Sounds childish and maybe retarded, but Tom and I have lots of fun playing with that kind of toys :-D
I didn't do anything I had planned, I haven't even eaten. I'm going to bed again in a bit I guess. Tom is having a crap day too. I guess it's just something we need to sit out... |
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*hugs all who can accept hugs*
Sorry I haven't been around much. I really hope my new monitor arrives tomorrow! Well today really, it's 1:55 am already. For those who have asked, I'm not doing brilliantly. I'm definitely depressed. The good news however is that I'm not as depressed as I was. However, I regularly (at least 20 times a day) have moments where I have to leave a room or find someone to talk to about random stuff to stop myself from doing something su related. We did have a godsend today however. Our electricity bill arrived and it was less than $135.00. We are 50% below the average usage which suits us fine. It does mean I'm going to have to put off ordering my MedicAlert bracelet for yet another fortnight, but the electricity bill I guess has to come first. I'm really sorry for the lack of individual replies, I just haven't been able to keep up. *finds everyone and has a little one-on-one chat with them, hugs those who want and can accept hugs, pats, cuddles and plays with Puppy SinClair and leaves some special no-cal ice-cream in the secret freezer in the kitchen* |
Pokemon is actually awesome! ... I'm nearly done with HeartGold! :D
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