As I said to my best friend earlier....this day gets better and better (i.e. sarcasm...it's getting worse)

Roll on tomorrow when I start my weekend away.

Sorry for no individual replies.

Sorry lia I wasn't ignoureing you I fell asleep somthing I being doing a lot of lately. Iam hmm nevermind I'm okay.

Spies April and Kahlia *Glomps before April can get in there.*

How are you April? Haven't heard a lot from you today. *Hugs to all who want them and extra glomps for April in vengence*

'tis ok Jill, I didn't think you were ignoring me. You shouldn't bottle things up,although I have no right to talk, I can tell you how much it hurts to be so alone. To eventually want someone there but look and realise there's no one and that's all your fault because you pushed them all away. But I also know what you mean about not wanting to get hurt, it's why I won't open up I tried to last night but...well no one heard me. I'm always just a PM away if you want to though sweet.


xx

Hmm thanks Hun. Urgh screw it can't win really can't win.

Hey guys, I'm not sure if I'll be back in tonight as it's getting on now, being 1am & all. I won't be around from today (in a few hours) til Sunday evening. I'm going to London :D

Please try to keep safe & keep going everyone. I know we're all going through rough times at the moment. I care about you all. Try have a good weekend =)

*sits in her own little corner and cries*

You too Helen, have a good time in London. I'm going on Saturday.

xx

*Hugs Crimson* What's the matter darling?
x

This whole day...
None of it is going as it should and I should have just stayed home today... And enough is just enough. And I'm to stubborn and obstinate to rest an injury and now it's killing me.

*cuddles* What's wrong sweetheart :(

Oooh whereabouts you going? You don't have to tell me or PM me if you want (even if London is huge), just wondering :P Hope you have a good time too dearest :D

*cuddles Helen back* looks like we posted at the same time...

*cuddles* I hope your day improves. I've had a really bad day aswell, but it's now a new day here, so trying to ignore it now. Please look after your injury :(

*nods* didn't walk around much today... well mostly. during the majority of the day I was sat at my desk... then I had to cover R leaving early and the court run (that usually takes me less than 20 min) took me 45 and it still hurts 20 min later. I may call in tomorrow if it doesn't get better.
Have fun in London for the weekend *hugs* *and packs extra hugs and smiles in your luggage*

*sigh* i think i'll leave 5 min early so i don't take too long and miss my bus home...
might be back on tonight or I may just go to bed and hope for a better tomorrow... *cuddles everyone and leaves care packs* good night/morning (just in case I'm not back on)

Going to Oxford Street Helen, what about you?
x

*cuddles Crimson*

Lia, I'm going to London Docklands :)

Sorry I've been so quiet the past few days, just have felt that I have nothing to contribute. And there have been about 3.5 pages of posts since I last posted so individual replies are pretty much out of the question. :(

I'm exhausted right now - it's just hit 9pm and I'm thinking of popping off to bed shortly. Had awful nightmares last night that actually woke me up at one point (they hardly ever do that)... so yeah. :( I hate it when that happens.

*sigh*

*cuddles all*

*cuddles all - especially those who are struggling or feeling low*

Feeling cold. BUT ... my software arrived from Adobe. I should feel excited, and in a way I do, but I don't .... if that makes sense.

But I'm freezing ... *grumble*

I'm sorry I can't give my support at the moment. I feel bad about that. All I can offer is *hugs* to those who can accept and *warm wishes* to absolutely everybody.

Luke (I think it was) - I have an appointment with my psychiatrist in two weeks, but my doc asked me to email him each week with how I was going. Normally he emails back when he makes a request like that to sort of acknowledge/give encouragement and sometimes make changes. I guess that's why I feel a bit ... lost ... in that department. Don't really know. Guess I just feel like I'm struggling with nowhere to turn.

Keep hitting brick walls (metaphorically). *sigh* Have a big email to write and I've been asking my housemat to help me with it since last week. Hoping to corner him about it today. He said he would do it but stuff just keeps popping up.

Sorry, talking too much about myself.

*leaves hugs and safe care packages on the table with some tropical fruits: mangoes, rambutans and lychees etc, and all sorts of no-cal treats for everyone*

Hey all.

April, was wondering when we were going to hear from you. Sorry you're not doing too good right now sweetie. I know how you feel about dreaming, I'm not sleeping right now although it's half two in the morning because I had a nightmare last night. It was horrible, there was a murderer and I was in the same room and he was after me. It was dark and I had to hide and I knew he would kill me if he found me and I felt so scared although it was just a dream and he had already killed everyone else. I got away, but they never caught him and I knew he was still out there, looking for me. Then Ronnie Mitchell from EastEnders was there (which is a nightmare enough it itself) and that was when it got a bit random. Anyway, I don't know why I told you that. As a quote from my favourite musical says 'there is nothing more boring than someone trying to describe their dreams to you'.

Kahlia- Good luck with you appointment Kahlia, I don't really know what else to say right now, so I'll give hugs instead *massive hugs*.

xx

The wind's really fierce outside and I keep thinking I hear things. My nightmare's still in my head and I know I'm being childish, but I'm scared and in a way it's a comfort that I sound about 5 because then I can go back to a time when I thought everything was right with the world even though my own was so very wrong.

Edit- and now I'm all alone in here, which is not helping. Big creepy ward all to myself.