Ugh. I had a horrible dream that just reminded me how snubbed I feel by my ex and how bitter I am that he dumped me for a girl he hardly knew after being together for three years.
He's a ****.

*hugs to all on the ward* Well its monday again, and although its sunny outside here on the ward it is a nice moderate temeperature. *slumps on the sofa and cries quietly*

*hugs Rainbow* I'm glad things are going well.

*hugs wildly insane* I'm so glad you had a nice holiday, hope you feel better this morning.

*hugs Damnation* was a brave thing to do.

*hugs MammaMia*

*hugs Kahila* Good luck with you're surgery.

*hugs BigBear*

*hugs zowie* I can sympathise with you about horrible dreams, however it sounds like you're better off without him honey.

I feel rubbish this morning I have the shakes and all sorts.

*leaves hugs for others lurking around*

Thanks secrets.
*Hugs* Hope you feel better. xx

*Hugs secrets* Hope your feeling a bit better

*hugs zowie* how are you feeling now hon?

Much better thanks. I had a nap on the sofa for a couple of hours and all the bad thoughts have passed. For now.

I'm glad your feeling a bit better :)

I'm trying so hard not to do anything to myself I feel sick and I just want to give in :(

*hugs Arwen* he sounds so not worth your pain hun

*hugs shadowedseraph* hope you are okay

*hugs Secrets back* feeling worse :( hope you're feeling better though

*hugs Katie* thanks :) how are you?

*hugs Kahlia* good luck with your wrist, hope you are okay too

*hugs Helen* hope tv tonight is good :P

*hugs Dayna* hope it's okay with your mum

*hugs everyone else, sorry it's not more*

*curls up in a corner and buries her head under a blanket*

Argh I'm so so stressed.

I don't want these panic attacks again

*hugs Secrets* - Why you stressed out sweetie??

Thanks guys.
Yeah, he's really not worth it. I just can't seem to stop loving him and wishing he was with me :(

I. Know. How. You. Feel.

That **** who backstabbed me keeps invading my ****ing dreams again. He was in one last night, saying he missed he and all this ****, and even though he's not worth so much as the time of day, I still can't help but wish that things were how they used to be :/. That dream's ****ed me right up today

And so the day gets worse. Can I hide please?

Dayna - Yeah, I dreamt about him last night. About him snubbing me and kissing his new (17 year old) girlfriend in front of me.
Arrrrrrrghh. Really ****ed me up too.
Feeling a bit better right now, have been chain smoking all day to keep myself calm, so now my chest kinda hurts. But I'm probs going to watch a film with my dad tonight which is something to look forward to.

Will do individual replies tomorrow for anyone who posts between now and then.
xxx

hides in the cupboard. this is all just a waste of time

*hugs* cherylwilson136

everybody has the strength to overcome their biggest fears, the greatest hurdle is to find the inner strength and belief to pick yourself up from a downfall, and know that you can achieve anything if you put your mind to it, because at the end of the day human beings are fantastic creatures with an amazing ability to overcome adversity. stay strong guys its all worth the effort ultimately xxx

Why does my ex have to screw up my head along with everything else. All I want to do is curl up and sob for a very long time and then die :(

*grabs a blanket, her stuffed kitty, and fluffy pillow and settles down on a big comfy couch*
Thought i'd stop by for a little bit. Making some chamomile vanilla tea- anyone want some?

gosh it does sound tough. I didn't give in, I have no idea how I made it but it was definitely thanks to some friends who for some reason think I'm worth it.

*hugs to everybody*

Hi Tara, make yourself at home :)

*hugs Kat* sorry things are so hard, don't give up

*hugs Helen* Men, pah,, they just don't leave you alone do they :P you are worth so much more *cuddles*

*hugs Cheryl* it isn't, one day you'll be glad :)

*hugs Arwen* hope you're feeling better and you had a good evening with your dad watching a film.

*hugs Secrets* hope you are feeling better today

*hugs Dayna* it's such a shame we can't just stop loving someone just because they treat us like ****, but it will get easier, hope today is better.

*hugs Gil* how are you?

*hugs Katie, kahlia, hannahbanana, Shadowedseraph, Jem, bex, Hayley, onestepcloser and anyone else hiding or dropping in*

right now for today ...

*grabs her stuffed teddy and sits in a corner with a comforter* away from other people. feeling suicidal. doesn't want to hurt anyone else