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Thanks for the diet pepsi and hug irkeninvader!
I just heard from my friend's older sister and it sounds very bad. Older sister asked me what to do and I made a couple of recommendations. I don't want older sister to get in trouble though. As old as I am and as long ago as I left home, at some level I've forgotten the physical authority that parents have. I'll probably not log off and be frequently checking for messages from friend or her sister. *gives more hugs since blonde teddy bears are decent at that* *wanders off to see where husband left the vacuum last* |
*looks around blankly*
*wants to hug everyone :)* |
hahaha i forgot how they changed the names
yeah that's David Brent though and my boss is EXACTLY like him i had to buy his satellite radio subscription for him, i have to order his plane tickets, i have to put the registration sticker on his car, i have to fvcking refill his stapler for him when it runs out of staples because he doesn't know how *trig for grossness* on the plus side the black mouth sore i had has gone away! my cheeks feel really like puffy though and i have like marks where my teeth rub them or something? unfortunately i have to admit i have learned nothing from this and feel no motivation to change which i know is dumb huggles for Susan and Helen and Alexx and everybody in the whole wide world |
Thanks irkeninvader hun *hugs back* Off and on for about two hours *shrug* and I'm still SO tired! WTF?! I haven't done anything all day! I haven't even been out of bed for more than two hours:blink:
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Callie, I haven't seen The Office but sounds like your boss needs a good slap upside the head *nods emphatically* As to my meds, therapist may ask me tomorrow as I made some comment on Monday about wishing I could not take my meds so I'd feel that much worse and, well, yeah... If he asks I'll tell him, if not...*looks around innocently* How is everyone atm? Probably sleeping lol it's almost 01:00 across the pond. *snuggles any one that wants/needs/will allow it as she rather needs a snuggle or two* |
Why do I have to keep being so horrible to everyone in here :(
*snuggles Ally loooooots* |
Helen, what do you mean, being horrible? *snuggles*
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*snuggles* Helen
YOU ARE NOT HORRIBLE TO US!!! We love you. |
Alright, second times the charm. I'm gonna get up and eat something... Not because I'm hungry but because of everything I may have eaten in the last few days I haven't kept any of it down. I mean, I know it is an unfortunate fact of purging that you never get it all *damn* but I'm not even going to try to throw this up... It's just a salad after (mmm, though pancakes sound good I know I'd just wind up with my finger down my throat later).
Wow, cause y'all needed to know that:blink: |
I'm sorry I fail at everything, I'm sprtry I am not what everyone wishes I couyld be. I'm sorry I can't support people as they deserve to be but I cant keep doing this. I am drunk and conetemplating driving to Bristol for the bridge. I don't want to endanger anyone else though. I just don't want to ****ing be here. It's not fair. I AM A COMPLETE ****ING loser. Seriously. Had enough.
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Emma.
Fair enough go. But seriously, DON'T DO ANYTHING. I cannot lose you now. I know you're struggling and everything yeah. But you CAN get through this shitty time. You've gotten through so much. Please Emma? Party- think about it yeah? |
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Oh Emma, no, you're not, you're lovely and we all lean on you too much maybe... You're so good at supporting everyone. Sweetie, PLEASE take care hun, I love you SOOOO much.
Helen luv, we all so stuff like that. I've said a few times today I've felt ignored. When we're feeling so crap it's easy to feel slighted, we all understand that. *snuggles you both lots* |
the Denial Tent is a judgemental-free zone
no worries Helen :) you can say whatever you want and think whatever you want and we will listen and love you anyway what good is a virtual psych ward if you have to censor yourself? teehee |
Emma you are not a failure
you are smart and perceptive and kind and caring and beautiful and therefore NOT a failure what do you think you failed at? no more alcohol lots of water for Miss Emma and some sleep and report back in the morning HUGS FOR EMMA |
You're right both of you.
I feel like I've leant on Emma waaaaaaaay too much lately. Hence the reason I haven't texted so much and have offered my support lots. I don't want to lose her. I know it's ****ing selfish maybe hun, but I CAN'T lose you. You're one of my best friends and if you comitted sucide, you'd be taking me down with you. Because you've helped me so much and we've had some great times and horrible times. But the horrible times have brought us so close and I love having that. So please think about the good things Em yeah? Like the fun we had last thursday? Like Em's party we should get to go to...and that? I know times are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo horrible and unfair at the moment. But they'll go away again and the good times come =D Think on that yeah? *cries under her blanknet for being scared etc* Can I sit with you two? (Callie & Ally) |
*makes room in her corner for Helen* Still hugging hun
*cries quietly* I just don't feel good:crying: |
*latches onto Ally*
Sweetie. I know this is hard. Please stay strong yeah? You have a great future ahead, you just can't see that at the moment xx |
*sits with Ally and Helen and squishes them* i love the Denial Tent
*feels sort of safe* i am in a really like supportive and inspirational mood? like i just am practically spewing optimism? i dont know that i am believing it, like that i am really happy or anything, i am just like in the zone of advice hahaaha weird i should write for those people that make those posters of waterfalls and trees and stuff that say things like POWER and There is no I in TEAM and UNITY: working together makes us stronger hahahahahahahaha we'll band together, us Denial Tenters! Ally dont worry we can share our good and help you feel better because in the magical virtual stretchy Denial Tent the Mosquito Net of Happiness blocks out the bad feelings and neutralises them into good feelings of safety Helen hang onto that good attitude sweetie all those things are true of you, too look at you all with your bright and shiny futures :) aww it almost brings a tear to my eye except that i have lost the ability to cry *goes off to keep being a hermit-like loser in her mother's basement destined to be a temp who does nothing more significant than filling her boss' stapler for him and cutting off embroidered logos from his cheap free promotional shirts, such is the glorious life of an admin assistant temp* |
Guys:crying: I have a confession to make... I mean... G*d I suck... I'm feeling awful and sometimes, petting my cat or not, I have this image... But it's not really an image... A thought, but it's not really a thought... Of... Um... I suppose it's breaking his neck:crying: I don't want to, I'm not mad at him, I don't want him to die, and it's not got that feeling behind it... It's like when I want to cut my wrists and I know the end result would be me dead, which is not the intent, but at least with myself I don't care... With him... Good lord if I ever did do it I really would kill myself... WHERE IN THE WORLD DID THIS COME FROM?!?!:crying: and how in Gods name do I get it to stop?!:crying: it's happened a few times, not sure how many but...
*sobs in her corner* F**k me:crying: why am I so F**KED UP?!?!?! |
no you arent
unless i am too which might be the case but at least we are fvcked up together? i get images too and i get scared of myself sometimes i picture myself hurting my cats even though i dont want to... it was mostly throwing them out the upstairs window though i dont know why... or i picture the things i could do (yeah not going to be specific here because technically i guess it's borderline violent tendencies/images that just pop into my head), or also with my car... like driving it into my condo building... when it's not empty.... yeah my head is a scary place haha! and the really scary part is that sometimes it scares me but right now i think it's funny because i guess when you are that fvcked up you either completely lose it or you decide it is all a hilarious cosmic joke <goes with the cosmic joke> i never really thought about it for an extended period of time though, Alyssa. i just like ignore it or try not to think about it and always assumed i would never act on it? is that something to be concerned about though? i mean i always figured the thoughts werent mine, like didnt come from me.... but that makes no sense now that i look at your question because nobody can put ideas in my head but me right? or could it because that would be better... like subliminal messages from the telly or something? |
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