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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Doikers 22-08-2010 08:49 PM

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs Steph* I'm sorry you got put in hospital and had such a crappy time there . Are you on Lithium , that makes me shake , well my hands at any rate ,You don't have to answer that question. I don't shake ALL the time hmm.
GOOD LUCK With your interview :)!!

one_step_closer 22-08-2010 08:50 PM

Thanks everyone, and i'm sorry that you are struggling with thoughts of harming too Helen.

Part of me wants to do it just to get into hospital so that I can be looked after. I feel like no one can look after me emotionally but they can look after me if I am physically unwell. I feel ashamed.

Doikers 22-08-2010 08:56 PM

OH Lindsay *Hugs* I know the feeling of wanting to be looked after, It can be very lonely living alone and being triggered :(

time to change 22-08-2010 09:02 PM

no, i am back on venlafaxine.

i know none of you are going to really be interested in this, but i cant stop thinking about it... on my first night in the psych ward, i didnt sleep at all and was really struggling, and i had everything taken off me, wasnt even allowed a bottle of pop!!! so if i was in view of staff i asked if i could write down how i was feeling. they let me. in the end, i wwrote 5 pages of A4! i cant usually write stuff down, well not as much as that anyway. so when i finished it, i asked the staff to put it through the shredder for me, because i didnt want any of the their patients finding it in the bin etc, and also asked them not to read it or put it in my notes, as it was merely a distraction technique, and it was extremely private. so last night i was going through all my careplans with m named nurse when i saw some paper, and recognised a sentence in my file. i couldnt believe it. it was all that stuff i had written the night i was admitted. they had obviously read what i had written, the night i did it, because some of the stuff i wrote, they would think they knew what it was about, but it has nothing to do with anything they know about me, but what they think it is, is really rather personal/between me and one of the staff. and they were all laughing that night after i had asked them to shred it. it has really hurt me, especially as they said they had shredded it. i think i might ring the manager of the ward tomorrow to complain. one good thing though, my named nurse destroyed the paper before anyone else could read it, with 3 other staff as witness, but thats not the point.

anyway, sorry for all of that, really needed to get it out.

*sends love and gentle cuddles*

Scarletdreamer 23-08-2010 12:00 AM

I feel awful right now... :( ...just ate more than I have at one sitting in the past 3 days and I just want to purge... won't... but still, that urge is right there and it is so ****ing strong. :'(

I'm scared to talk with my NP about all of this when I see her on Wednesday. Scared that she'll want me to keep looking into res, or even worse, want to put me into a hospital ASAP. Which wouldn't do anything good at all. Just make me worse. I don't know. :crying: I just want to give up.

I see my therapist tomorrow... :( ...am scared of that as well since things have taken such a downturn since the last time I saw her. I wish I could just make it all stop. :'(

I'm sorry I've been such a "bad" wardie lately, without doing my usual individuals... but... guess I "needed" to let y'all know how I am doing. :(

Kahlia1981 23-08-2010 12:18 AM

*huggles everybody*

We watched two movies yesterday. Eyeborgs and Robots. hehe. Sorry, my brains on the fritz. At least I got some sleep last night, even if it took 2 Mogadon and 1 Xanax to get me there and I still woke at 04:30. *sigh*

anarchistl0ve 23-08-2010 05:51 AM

*Finds puppy Sinclair and hugs him wrapped up in her hello kitty blanket.* I am at a very low place for me.

flutterby butterfly 23-08-2010 08:50 AM

*hugs everyone*

Hope you're all ok & had good weekends.

Kahlia1981 23-08-2010 09:00 AM

*huggles all*

Made a bus trip to Centrelink after getting an almost straight answer about my problem with a claim form. The oven guy is coming tomorrow morning . . .

Doikers 23-08-2010 10:06 AM

*Hugs Steph* That SUCKS that they read what you wrote , you should totally complain to the ward manager I reckon :S

*Hugs April* Good luck with all your appointments this week :)

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Becca*

*Hugs Unicorn Tears*

Scarletdreamer 23-08-2010 12:53 PM

Good morning everyone... *cuddles*

Am not doing well... still. Fourth day of not wanting to eat/not really eating. :( I'm terrified of being hospitalized. While not likely (yet), I can almost guarantee that I will be shaking & quivering at my therapy appt later today for fear of that. :( And same at my NP appt on Wednesday. Damn anxiety... but then... wouldn't everyone be afraid/worried? :-/

Nothing else going on really, at least in my head. This rules all. :crying:

nicole94 23-08-2010 12:59 PM

*huggles everyone* i REALLY just want tomorrow to be over.

MammaMia 23-08-2010 01:00 PM

*cuddles everyone*

Feeling low & already really missing my best friend :( But she doesn't go away til tomorrow for a week instead Fri-Mon. Meh. 6 weeks til I can see her myself mind you...

MammaMia 23-08-2010 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2458464)
*huggles everyone* i REALLY just want tomorrow to be over.

What's happening tomorrow? *cuddles*

nicole94 23-08-2010 01:09 PM

*hugs helen* GCSE results. im scared because i know ive failed :( and also school is one of the worst things for making me panick and i have to go in to get them...... :(

Doikers 23-08-2010 01:24 PM

*Hugs April* I would be worried yes , but like you said it is HIGHLY unlikly that you will be hospitalised , I remember a few weeks ago I was SURE I was going to end up in hospital but it wasn't even bought up . What I mean is that we build these things up to be worse than they turn out to be in our heads .

*Hugs Nicole* Best of luck going to school to collect your results tomorrow :)

*Hugs Helen* I'm sorry you miss your best friend already , I miss mine , I haven't seen her for 8 days , missing people sucks :(

nicole94 23-08-2010 01:27 PM

*hugs mark* thanks. im not sure im gonn actually make it into school or not, and also, its supposed to be really hot here tomorrow, i dont wanna wear a big jumper :(

Doikers 23-08-2010 01:30 PM

Nicole, Do you have any thin material blouses/shirts you could wear in the hot weather? Or like a long sleeved T-shirt?

Scarletdreamer 23-08-2010 01:31 PM

Missing people does suck. I miss my bestie and I saw her on Saturday. >_< So yeah. *sigh*

Mark, yeah, I remember that. You're right, we do make things out to be worse than they actually are... but... I'm just scared that no one's going to be able to get me to eat, including Jarrod, and I'm just... not interested in food, really, so yeah. :( It feels really dumb to say that, but... I don't know. I feel like such a waste of time & energy. :'(

Nicole, I'm sure that you did better than you think you did... and even if you did fail, you have a good reason for it - you've been struggling so much lately. It's really hard to focus on school when you're fighting your own personal battles (trust me, I know, experience speaking here)... so maybe if you failed you can retake them when you're in a better place mentally??

Hels, I'm sorry that you're not feeling the best right now, love. :(

I'm still feeling shitty. :( I need to do my therapy homework but I really don't want to. It's gonna be hard and I can't decide whether to do it on paper or in my LJ. Ugh. I'd rather be able to type it up, and doing it on the comp and printing it off isn't an option as I don't have a printer really easily available to me. GRRRR. I really need to get more ink for mine... :(

I'm getting back into the habit of wearing baggy clothes... even though I have a tonnnnnn of weight to lose before anyone notices anything. :( Fat April. Yucky April. Nasty April. *sigh*

*hides in the warren and cries softly*

nicole94 23-08-2010 01:38 PM

*hugs mark and april*
mark-no i dont have any long sleeved T-shirts. i was talking about this to my mum the other day actually, its weird that im a self harmer yet i have no long sleeved T-shirts and only 2 jumpers....
april-i suppose so. and i didnt even turn up to half my exams cause i was having such a bad time, i just want it to be over and done with, my mum said she will throw me a party if i do ok.


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