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Doikers 15-06-2010 10:05 PM

Well I'm still awake., Porridge and camomille tea in me now . I was thinking about food ( Hence the Porridge ) and camomille calms you to sleep ( Or thats the theroey) , my mind is still racing. hopalong hopalong hop it's going not a spot of fun , I'll over sleep if I don't sleep soon . Tommorow I have to go with my housing support worker to find out why my housing benefit hasen't been paid for 2 weeks , stressing a bit over that , and my mum is coming to help me clean my flat beacuase my sister has apperently told her it's dirty , GGGrrrr Family I haven't been taking care of myself , my flat for 2 weeks but I am quite a clean person normally , I'm just so very down recently *Sigh* sorry to rant.

Doikers 15-06-2010 10:08 PM

Twenty Pages April !!! just think how worth it it would be , just focus on the outcome ,how great it would be to be S.I. free for THE Rest of your life !! I'm sure it is daunting , make your self a tea and do the first 10 or 5 pages and take a break and do it like that maybe :)

Scarletdreamer 15-06-2010 10:13 PM

thanks for the encouragement, mark. maybe i will make myself a cuppa, but only after i clear off the kitchen table. it's stuffed full with empty bottles and newspapers and things (we haven't been taking care of our apartment either :o ughhh)... so there is hardly any room for us to eat at it anymore. blahhh.

i'm sorry you haven't slept yet, that sucks. :( what exactly is porridge? 'cause it sounds really tasty... hehe. is it like oatmeal? or cornmeal pudding? *is curious*

ohh and what do you guys think qualifies as "modest, appropriate clothing"? because since these are Christian programs i'm applying to i have to wear clothes of that description. not like i dress like a sl*t or anything but... well, my camis definitely aren't modest. but would a tshirt of the red queen from alice in wonderland with "off with her head" on it be appropriate? methinks not... lol. :P

i am so tired... just want to sleep. but it's only 5:15pm here, only been up 12 hours, heh... so can't go to sleep just yet. grrrrrr.

Scarletdreamer 15-06-2010 10:24 PM

updated r/v... :-/

i spy a tineke and a mark!! *cuddles both* tineke, have missed you, how have you been doing?

Doikers 15-06-2010 10:54 PM

Porridge is the same as oatmeal , I put into mine sultanas and sugar ( Due to lack of honey)
As for the dress code goes colthing that they mean clothes that don't show to much flesh , so you are basically covered up . most times . but I don't think they would have a problem with Alice in Wonderland Tee-shirts

You changed your Avatar again! , you can't leave it alone can you lol its good though.

*Sleep inducing Huggles*

Scarletdreamer 15-06-2010 11:07 PM

*huggles mark* no, lol, i love changing my avatars, on livejournal and other forums i used to go to i change(d) them all the time. hehe. but you've got to admit that this one is awesome. ;) i hope that you're getting sleepy since it's getting really late there now... :( i hate insomnia, and i remember what it's like... so yeah, i can feel your pain. :( did the tea and porridge help at all?

i really don't want ot eat supper... :'( i'm not hungry at all, in fact i'm full because i ate a huge late lunch (okay, "huge" but still...)... :'( and am anxious on top of all of that. arghhh!! :(

*hides in a hole*

PoisonedApple 15-06-2010 11:13 PM

mark~ hope you get some sleep and the benefit gets worked out. *huggles*

april~ you could try doing the app in 15 minute sections... 15 min of filling in, 15 minutes of breaks, 15 min of filling in, 15 min of breaks, etc etc till done...?

Scarletdreamer 15-06-2010 11:41 PM

that's a good idea too, crimson... thanks. :) i'm just really scared to even start the app because i don't know for 100% that i want to do res. even though i do think it would be the best thing for me... i think. :-S

i just ate supper (parmesan couscous) and i'm so ****ing full right now... and "full" is a trigger for me for all sorts of bad thoughts...

:crying:

i think i'mma go on wow for a bit... :'(

PoisonedApple 15-06-2010 11:46 PM

but you can think about what you want to do while you fill it out and by the time you're done filling it in you'll probably know if you want to give it a go or not...

MammaMia 16-06-2010 12:31 AM

Bad night.
Not been best day.
*hides and cries*
SHUT UP HEAD, JUST ****ING SHUT UP.

PoisonedApple 16-06-2010 01:09 AM

*cuddles helen*

MammaMia 16-06-2010 01:12 AM

*cuddles Crimson*

shadowedsoul 16-06-2010 03:35 AM

Hmm this has been one really crapy day and night, really
worried about a freind of mine. She really I'll at the sec,
and had dissapeared of skype. So I got no idea if she is
okay. My mind keeps thinking the worse which is freaking
me out. It's not helping that it's 3.30am here and iam
wide awake not good. Meh can this be over allready i
have had enough!!!!

risenfromperdition 16-06-2010 05:23 AM

april- what programme are you looking into?

*yawn* im sleepy =[

Doikers 16-06-2010 09:24 AM

I'm up , I slept after the poridge and tea yes
My mood is a little fraght, and de-icing my ice box in my fridge and thought I would ake to a lake in my kitchen but it's pooled in the fridge and a lot of it hasn't melted ,
So yeah Good morning everyone:)

Nap for an hour before Mum comes , I know its early but nap I am tired

frenchhorn 16-06-2010 09:42 AM

*cuddles everyone*
sorry no individual replies, I've just got back from being at the hospital all night, my gf not me was ill, she is still there but I had to leave for uni stuff and got to go in a few mins, but just wanted to pop by and give you all lots of hugs and cuddles

Doikers 16-06-2010 10:18 AM

*Hugs Oliver * I hope your Girlfriend has a speedy recovery :)

The nap didn't work out lol.

Doikers 16-06-2010 10:58 AM

*Glomps Kat and runs away to expect my mother * lol

katnovia 16-06-2010 11:04 AM

lol *glumps mark back before hiding in deep squishy hole cos she's knackered and sore.*

i'm back home...urg. A part of me would almost love to be still in hospital, so much easier on Jack, but i was missing hazel madly. Currently going through the phase of, 'why the hell did i get that done?'..i'm sure when the pain eases off i'll feel a whole lot better!

Scarletdreamer 16-06-2010 12:08 PM

glad you're okay, kat. :) and glad the operation went well (at least, i'm assuming that it did). *gentle squish*

mark, hope you enjoy your time with your mum - i forget (brain = sieve), was this a "fun" visit or a "business-y" visit? i hope you're not too triggered today, and that you don't feel like you have to have your happy mask up all of the time. *cuddles*

*cuddles oliver* hope your girlfriend gets better quickly; what's wrong? :( that has got to be stressful for both you and her... and how are you doing??

heather, i'm looking into a friend's house (afh), mercy ministries, and vision of hope (voh). they're all free, all Christian, but i wish i knew a bit more about them. one of my online friends has some friends who have been through voh and afh and can tell me more about what it's like, but they haven't gotten in touch yet. :( grrrr. so i really don't know what i'm jumping into. both voh and afh are in indiana... mercy is either in california or missouri so i'm hoping to get in to one of the ones in indiana (as i'm in pennsylvania and they're only like a day's drive away, ish). why? :)

*cuddles hels* we're here if you want to talk about it.

*cuddles crimson* true... i'm just really scared at all of the detailed information they want me to give. :-S like release forms for all of my hospital stays. not sure that that is a good thing... although all of the stays (5) were voluntary. :-/ it's just that i'm going to have to find the time to drive up to the hospitals and sign the damn forms. they're all a good 45 minutes to one and a half hours away... :( gahhhh.

i'm not doing great this morning. i literally just got up, did my bathroom stuff, then came to the comp... had nightmares last night about my therapist and other stuff... not a good night. plus, jarrod didn't come to bed until 1:30am. really late for us. argh, i am just frustrated with life in general and me in particular. :( and i have to go in to work today for a meeting, which doesn't make me happy... although the meeting should be interesting. i hope. :)

*hides in the warren where no one can find her* :'(


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