*hugs Helen* sorry to hear you aren't doing too well, I know what it's like to want to go on a destructive bender, but I hope you don't.
*hugs Englishgirl23* I hope it's not as bad as you think
*hugs Jade* stay forever, but you can win this
*hugs Nikki* good for you, I think the world should give us all a break, that sucks
*hugs SteelMaiden* I hope you feel better soon
*hugs Arwen* I hope you get to sleep, and please stay safe
*hugs Dayna**squidges* hope you resist the urges
*hugs silently crying* stay strong, you can do it
*hugs MaryAnne**hugs Michaella**hugs AuburnShadow**hugs FallenShadow**hugs Kat**hugs Kahlia**hugs Mouse**hugs Snuffles**hugs Secrets**hugs Shell* I really do hope I haven't forgotten anyone but if I have I apologise sincerely and offer an even bigger hug.

I have a sore throat, I want to cry and I want to hurt :(

Thanks Wildlyinsane and MammaMia.

I am shivering even though I'm wearing a sweatshirt. These withdrawal symptoms are driving me crazy. My extremities have turned to ice.

The Mindreaders and Voices want me to Kill my Mum. The bad thing is is that I've tried before. Twice my Mum had to call the police to get me handcuffed =[.

i want someone to lock me away or kill me. either will do. i can't do this anymore.

I'm alone in the house, and the spies are outside. I'm so scared.
I'm thinking about going out there and stabbing them all, but I can't tell who's innocent and who's a spy. And I'm also scared that they'll catch me if I go outside.
****.

-checks in-

Exams start in five weeks time. I'm not going to survive this. I can't even check into a real ward because it'll take me away from the exams and I have to sit them. I need to sit them because if I don't I'll be a failure.

they are wanting me to jump, they noise is so loud again

*hugs everyone*
Sorry it's not more. Really am.

Want to OD still. Still there, still fighting it every single day. OD or go down to Tesco and buy a few cans of beer and get drunk. Both will hurt Jamie. I promised him I wouldn't hurt him. I can't hurt him, so I can't OD, I can't get drunk again. I won't let myself cut, so I guess I'm just stuck feeling like this for a while.
Can't tell Jamie about it, and I didn't admit how bad it is to my counsellors earlier. ****ed up, much? I want to stop feeling like this, and yet I'm hiding it from the very people who want to help.
On top of that I've got to go back to the doctors on Thursday for a blood test to see if I've got hyperthyroid. Don't think I can do this. Nothing more going wrong. Nothing more. I want to just self-destruct.

Devil, who is? What noise is it? Can you not put some music on to drown them out?

Auburn, can you not tell Jamie? I'm sure he'd rather you talked to him than suffered in silence.
Why are you hiding it?

He thinks I'm doing great. I tried talking to him a while back, when I was just triggered, and he kept wanting to know why, and the thing is, I don't know how to explain to him that I want to do this stuff, but I don't know why.
Yeah, he sort of gets the OD stuff, because he's been there before, but me even thinking about it hurts him, and I can't hurt him by even admitting I'm thinking about it.
It's kind of confusing. I love him, I want to be with him forever, but I still want to OD right now...

hey everyone, thought id check in again today since yesterday i didnt, i ended up just walking around for a long while then couldnt bring my self to return home so i just kept walking for the night, i still havent slept yet but i need to soon, its been 6 days since i last SH'ed, i keep going from extreams at the moment.

*hugs anyone that wants or needs hugs. then,*
*rocks softly as she pulls a blanket around her to keep warm*

BULLSHIT.

You are liked. You are loved. I promise you <3

*hugs all*

Drunk, unsafe. amd about to go void. Very spacey. Eyes won't focusd/ And I want to SI.

WHAT A LOVELY COMVBINTION LOL.

*hugs everyone* sorry to hear that so many of you are feeling **** and would love to make everyone feel better but I can't. Sorry, pretty useless really but I mean well and I hope you all have the strength to fight and get better because you are worth it, whatever you believe. Personally I feel like a useless piece of **** who doesnt deserve to be here never mind not wanting to be here, failed again, I will always be a failure, despite which I've even failed to cut myself even though I really want to, ugh.

I FINALLY have a gp appointment tomorrow.
Needed one since NOVEMBER because *he* wants to see me after my A&E visit (od) and I need to see him because of needing medical evidence to get mental health mentor at uni/so they know what I'm like. Will he even give it seeing as I'm not diganoised with anything. I so know he's going to ask me how I am. How long its been since my last self harm/od/suicide attempt. But he'll find out about my plans if I'm not careful and he really really really can't. I swear man, if he doesnt give me what I'm asking for, I'll NEVER ask for his help ever again. Am I wasting my time doing this anyway? As I'll likely be dead this time next month...

thanks,

just everybody, the noise that fills my head, is unbearable.

I feel so ill today...so so ill.

I feel ill too devil girl. Bad things are going to happen.

Helen darling *hugs and Squishes*

Your note wasting your time doing something like this......its the first step to actually gettin what you need! as for being dead this time next month over my dead body will you be - cause i'll be back in Brum by then!

They will take into consideration all of your symptoms to maybe provide you with a diganosis (it took then 3 years to diganose me without having the chance to see a specialist)

They may take some time to give you the medical evidance and it may take more than one meeting so be prepared for that!

Im always at the end of my MSN or PM here or a message on facebook if you need more information about waht they might ask of you!


*Hugs Michaella* well done on the not SI for 6 days walking about is sometimes good to clear the mind ad the soul but its dangerous late at night in any place in Britain, If you need to talk of clear your mind just PM me kk

*Hugs Damnation.* Sorry to hear that your wanting to SI and feeling unsafe, sometime the feeling unsafe can be the worst part of it all becasue you just dont kow what to feel, same for you if you need to chat PM me k


*Hugs wildly insane* You are not a Failure no one is a failure! and everyone deserves to be here, when things get tough its horrible but you just have to hold your head up high and think of all teh good things you have even if its just little things!!! Same for you to im Just a PM away

*Hugs Katrica* Hope yourokay sweetie Pm me if you need me

*Hugs Devil Girl* sorry to hear your not feeling so great, hearing noises and things really isnt a nice thigs, i used to get them alot to, but i found things like listening to my fave songs or going out for a walk in teh middle of nowhere really helped me realease some of them, also writting down things that might be stressing you out of maybe triggering the voices and noises on to paper and tying them on to balloons and realeasing them also really helps *Hugs Zowie* the same goes for you to, just trying to put yourself in a place where nothing can get you a place that you've created for times that you feel alone or scared.

*hugs to everyone else*

Things are going okay for me had an argument with my partner on monday night but he's given me another chance and i cant blow this one!!!!! He's told me to see about doing a councelling course to try and become a guidance conunceller in schools and things! so im gonna look into i think!!!

Gilz x

*hugs and squishes* I didn't go anyway. But I still feel it'll be a waste of time. I will be dead, but we'll see hey? I don't think my GP is bothering to try and find a diagnosis, I think all he's interested in is getting me support, which isn't a bad thing, but like he doesn't ever understand what it's like, he knows how I can get when things are really bad. So what else can he need to know. I have kinda assumed it'll take an appointment or two, like first one to chat about it and then a follow up to chat and hopefully give it me :S Thanks sweetie, can we talk more later like you said in this post and your text? Also you should look into being a counsellor, I think you'd be quite good.