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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 03:37 AM

Sorry to hear you didn't sleep well last night. I know the feeling all too well. It sucks. :/

I'm...I don't know. I'm tired as well, mainly because I have spent a week sleeping in an uncomfortable bed and my back is killing me. I'm cold - while my husband and I were away we turned the heat down to 55 and then a cold front came in and we just got home a couple hours ago and we turned the heat up to 70 but we are still freezing. I have been wanting to SI really badly this past week but couldn't. Now that I am home, I can...and I still really want to, but I'm trying not to.. I'm also frustrated because tomorrow is New Years Eve and we don't have any money to buy anything to celebrate. We don't know anyone around the area so we are just going to be sitting at home doing nothing. -sigh- And my mind won't stop...Amara won't shut up. I just want to escape, but there's nowhere to go. Blah. Sorry for the mini rant.

ljmeep 31-12-2010 03:46 AM

it's ok... who is Amara? if you don't mind me asking. I've been dealing with kids running around all night... so i know about the noise issue. Thankfully mine are all finally in bed. Thank God! I love them all dearly, but I was lossing my last bit of sanity.

I'm sorry you feel like SIing... I was fighting it yesterday really bad and ended up giving in this morning... :( Wish I knew how to be stronger.

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 03:53 AM

Amara is my worst nightmare, really. She's this little girl that I see and hear and nobody else can see or hear her. She follows me around everywhere. Really, it feels like I have a ball and chain attached to me. o.O

I'm sorry you ended up SI'ing this morning. I wish I knew how to be stronger, too. And better. I just keep thinking I should die. Hardly anyone in my life (not online so to speak) would care. In fact, I know it would be better in the long run for them. But at this point I am too chicken to do anything to cause my death...I just pray to the gods every night to take me in my sleep.. =/

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:01 AM

I'm sorry about Amara... that really sux... and I would care if you died... I would miss you. I know that sounds weird being as I just met you. But I'm just that kind of person. ppl in general matter to me. Caring about others is just a part of who i am...

So forgive me, but I'm glad you're too chicken to cause death. <3

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 04:09 AM

Meh, don't feel bad. I am the same way. I will always worry about and look after other people before worrying about or looking after myself.

I don't know why I am too chicken, really. I know exactly where I am going to go when I die, hell I've been there before. And I want to go there. It would finally end my pain and suffering. I'd finally be at peace. But I don't know. For starters, and probably my main reason, I might be pregnant. I have to find out for sure if I am or not before I make any decisions but have to wait until the 5th to do so. I'm not sure about other reasons, though.

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:14 AM

well possibly being pregnant is a very good reason to hold off any rash decisions. I have 3 children and they are my world... my reason for living.

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 04:20 AM

Yeah, I would love to have a baby. I was pregnant before but had a tubular pregnancy and ended up losing one of my fallopian tubes and the baby. If I was still pregnant, I would be 6 and a half months along by now. That was really hard on me. Then four short months later I lost my brother, who is the second sibling I have lost. I am only 22 years old and I have known a lot more grief and trauma than anyone else that's my age that I know of. :( I just don't know what I am going to do anymore. But I hope I am pregnant. Waiting to find out is really killin me and it's going to get worse as the 5th of January approaches. I hate waiting. >.<

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:27 AM

I'm sorry for all your loss. I've never dealt with losing a pregnancy, but I would imagin it would be hell.... as would losing a sibling. I hope that you are blessed with another baby and that it gives you the strength and will to go on <3

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 04:36 AM

Thanks kelly. I hope so too. I will be letting everyone here know when I find out. I'm crossing my fingers. My mom doesn't want me to be pregnant though...if I am she is going to be extremely mad. I can't win for anything with her. -sighs-

I finally warmed up after 3 hours of being bundled up. But now I am bored and down and just want to SI so bad. Ugh I hate me.

-snuggles pillows and fuzzies closer and tighter-

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:41 AM

I understand the whole can't please anyone thing. My dad was totally pissed every time I got pregnant (he hates my hubby and always has). I was terrified to tell him, cuz I didn't want to hear it.

Parents, though they often mean well, don't always know what's best. Sometimes it's also hard for them to let go when we grow up and are ready to fly on our own.

I'm glad you're warm now... sorry you're bored and want to SI. I hope you can fight that feeling, but I understand if you end up giving in. :S

Are you going to be ok if I head to bed or would you like me to stay on here and chat a bit with you... keep you distracted?

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 04:54 AM

Yeah, I think my dad would be cool with it. He likes my husband and oddly enough they are so much alike. But my mom doesn't want me having a baby yet because of money issues and stuff. Like when I had my ectopic pregnancy my husband also lost his income and well I can't work and she was like "It's a good thing you aren't pregnant anymore, huh?" -sighs- That's my mom, though. She doesn't understand. And she is 100% in denial.

If you are tired, you should go to bed. I don't want to keep you up if you are tired.

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:59 AM

i'm ok with distracting you if you need it... and you should tell your mom that if we all waited to be financially stable we'd all be in our 50's by the time we started having kids... wouldn't that be just great!? A bunch of elderly ppl trying to keep up w/ toddlers and gone b4 they graduate high school o.O

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 05:15 AM

Ya, but my mom is nearly impossible to talk to anymore. She does not understand anything and insists I must do things her way or I'm doing everything wrong. I have to walk on eggshells around her.

And thanks for the offer. I would like if you stayed and helped keep me distracted but I don't want to intrude. Like I said, if you are tired, you should go to bed. I don't mean anything bad by it or anything like that I just don't want to keep you up if you are ready to go to bed. Ugh I don't think I am making any sense. I will just shut up now.

ljmeep 31-12-2010 05:18 AM

you are making sense... lol. I understand... how 'bout this... a compromise... I'll stay on 'till 11:30pm... it's 11:18pm now where I am. :) I can distract you 'til then and then hit the sack :)

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 05:26 AM

Ok, sounds good. Sorry I ramble so much. I just think I make no sense. I can't make much sense of anything anymore and my memory sucks. I dissociate a lot too. :s

ljmeep 31-12-2010 05:29 AM

i understand. i don't much mind rambling... do it a lot myself... lol

itsybitzyspider 31-12-2010 05:54 AM

:doze:

ljmeep 31-12-2010 06:00 AM

welcome to the ward, Tisha :) <3 ;) ... hey, wardies... this is my bff... :)

itsybitzyspider 31-12-2010 06:07 AM

Hello, Kelly. :)

PsychoKitty2010 31-12-2010 06:11 AM

Hi Tisha welcome to the ward.

ˈsäləˌterē 31-12-2010 06:12 AM

Hey Tisha, I'm the sister Kelly didn't know she had! Welcome!

risenfromperdition 31-12-2010 07:14 AM

Happy new years eve loves. Hope you all have a good day and i hope that 2011 is a good year for all of you cuz i love all of you so much and you ALL deserve everything good <3

Doikers 31-12-2010 10:33 AM

*Hugs Lia*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Sarah* I hope your procedure go's/went okay
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Nicole*
*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Heather*
*Massive Hugs Oliver* You're NOT a freak :S
*Waves at Owen*
*Hugs Kitty*
*Hugs ItzyBitzyspider if okay* I'm Mark , Welcome to the ward :)

MammaMia 31-12-2010 01:17 PM

Happy New Year's Eve everybody, hope 2011 is a much better year for us all, we all deserve to be happy & free <3

*hugs everybody*

ˈsäləˌterē 31-12-2010 02:02 PM

Mark, you're awesome! I can always count on you to start my day with a hug. Thanks! How ya doin today?

ˈsäləˌterē 31-12-2010 02:05 PM

You're sooo right Helen! That couldn't be more true! Thank you! Happy New Year's Eve to all wardies!

nicole94 31-12-2010 02:21 PM

*Hugs everyone*
We have a denial tent?
*Moves her stuff in permanently*

MammaMia 31-12-2010 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Solo (Post 2632766)
You're sooo right Helen! That couldn't be more true! Thank you! Happy New Year's Eve to all wardies!

You're very welcome my lovely :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2632789)
*Hugs everyone*
We have a denial tent?
*Moves her stuff in permanently*

*hugs Nicole* Yep, we've had one since 2008, it just keeps getting forgotten about. I'm usually a permanent resident haha

nicole94 31-12-2010 02:27 PM

lol. Yep, I think thats my new home!
How are you today helen? Got any plans for tonight?

MammaMia 31-12-2010 02:38 PM

I'm good, apart from a migraine :( Just spending it in front of the telly & laptop with my Mum, Charlie (my sister's dog) & alcohol :) Any plans for you Nicole?

misskitty112 31-12-2010 02:39 PM

*hugs ward*
How is everyone?

nicole94 31-12-2010 02:42 PM

*Hugs*
We are going to the pub (Not fair, I can't drink there lol)
My cat just pulled over the christmas tree :/

ljmeep 31-12-2010 02:42 PM

morning all *hugs everyone back* How is everyone today?

I have to leave in a bit to go apply for assistance for this damn electric/water bill so they don't shut us off :/ Not looking forward to it... but then I get to come back and spend the rest of my New Years Eve with my wardies! :)

Mark, ItzyBitzyspider is my bff, Tish. :) She's not much of a hugger though :P ... she's been listening to me chat with her on FB chat about my wardies and thought she'd just come and check us out. I dunno if she'll be back on today, what with plans and all... but she promised to come hang with us Sat. night. :)

Oh and you can just send all her hugs on over here to me ;) I don't mind them at all *HUGS!*

sorry ... I'm odly chipper this morning... not really like me o.O

Doikers 31-12-2010 02:59 PM

*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Helen*
*hugs Nicole*

ljmeep 31-12-2010 03:01 PM

yay! hugs! *hugs back!* :D

nicole94 31-12-2010 03:02 PM

*Hugs mark*
I have no idea what to wear tonight.......

Doikers 31-12-2010 03:08 PM

Erp Nicole ..... I giving serious consideration to bathing and getting into my pyjama bottoms and a comfy top and just spending a chilled out afternoon /evening/night all bundled up . I am not going out . I doubt I'll even be up for Jools Hollands Hootenanny ( Whole lot of hoot , little bit of nanny )

ljmeep 31-12-2010 03:22 PM

lol, Mark... you sound like me. I'm not goin out either. I'd much rather be inside away from all the drunks and crazies out there that think it's all wise to shoot rounds up into the air w/ no consideration to the fact that they DO have to come back down. o.O

nicole94 31-12-2010 03:26 PM

lol. I'm going out because my mum is making me, but I might aswell make the most of it.....I need to get a bath soon, but need to decide what to wear and stuff.

Doikers 31-12-2010 03:30 PM

Well staying in with your family should be nice Kelly:)

I home you enjoy your night out once ou get there Nicole :)

MammaMia 31-12-2010 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by misskitty112 (Post 2632808)
*hugs ward*
How is everyone?

*hugs Felicia* I'm ok, just got a migraine :(

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2632810)
*Hugs*
We are going to the pub (Not fair, I can't drink there lol)
My cat just pulled over the christmas tree :/

*hugs Nicole* Aw fun. Naughty cat!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljmeep (Post 2632811)
morning all *hugs everyone back* How is everyone today?

I have to leave in a bit to go apply for assistance for this damn electric/water bill so they don't shut us off :/ Not looking forward to it... but then I get to come back and spend the rest of my New Years Eve with my wardies! :)

*hugs Kelly* Hope everything gets sorted for you soon :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2632840)
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Helen*
*hugs Nicole*

*hugs Mark back*

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2632844)
I have no idea what to wear tonight.......

I'm wearing my PJs tonight hahaha ^_^ Just wear whatever you're comfortable in?

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljmeep (Post 2632868)
lol, Mark... you sound like me. I'm not goin out either. I'd much rather be inside away from all the drunks and crazies out there that think it's all wise to shoot rounds up into the air w/ no consideration to the fact that they DO have to come back down. o.O

Same *hugs*

ljmeep 31-12-2010 03:42 PM

aww... sorry you have a migrain, Helen... I know how bad those suck! *dims the lights to make it hurt less*

shadowedsoul 31-12-2010 04:11 PM

huggles all. curls up in the corner.

MammaMia 31-12-2010 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljmeep (Post 2632890)
aww... sorry you have a migrain, Helen... I know how bad those suck! *dims the lights to make it hurt less*

They sure do. I felt so ill with the visual disturbances last night =/ Wasn't good.

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:15 PM

u ok shadowedsoul? *hugs*

nicole94 31-12-2010 04:17 PM

*Hugs everyone*
He just pulled the tree down again silly cat lol. And I stil haven't decided what to wear :/ i'm sat doing my hair in my PJs right now lol.

ljmeep 31-12-2010 04:20 PM

well i'm off to go get assistance :/ be back in a few hrs... o.O

Doikers 31-12-2010 04:28 PM

*Hugs Jill*

April sends her *Hugs* and says she loves and misses us all :)

MammaMia 31-12-2010 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ljmeep (Post 2632946)
well i'm off to go get assistance :/ be back in a few hrs... o.O

Good luck!!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2632957)
April sends her *Hugs* and says she loves and misses us all :)

Awww bless her. I often speak to her on FB =)

I'mJustMe 31-12-2010 04:34 PM

Oh look, the page number is my birth year (1994) I thought I'd come and say hi for the last time this decade.


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