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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

risenfromperdition 05-11-2010 04:25 PM

bye mark <3 you can message me anytime, but no one will get pissed off at you, least i wont

PoisonedApple 05-11-2010 04:40 PM

*hugs Mark*
I dunno how I am yet this morning other than glad its Friday.
Try to have a good time at your parent's place :)
Maybe rather than thinking you will be a 30 yr old with mental health issues and SI you could think of your birthday as a milestone? Like "I made it to 30 and I'm still here fighting" kind of a thing?

nicole94 05-11-2010 06:29 PM

*huggles everyone*

SparkleKitten 05-11-2010 06:49 PM

Last night was horrific (and today too really)

The following content has been hidden - Reason : Crazy/triggering
So last night I was being screamed at constantly by mum and I told my fiance I'd rather die than be stuck there and I should just OD. Well then mum wouldn't let me use my phone to let him know I was okay and 30 minutes later 3 police cars and an ambulance turned up with the worry I'd OD'd. So of course then I had to go to hospital and tell my mum I'd been depressed for a long time and I'm on meds and they're so hostile and angry and uncaring, its all about how I put them through trouble, nothing about hoping I'm okay. All of last night and all of today. I'm being forced to stay in the house with these people until Monday, with limited internet and phone use... In all fairness the police and paramedics kept me a safe distance from her when she was really angry and screaming about how terrible my fiance is... They're still telling me he just did it to anger them and we'd plotted it. Ugh...

So I might not be about much, but thanks for all being here for me. x

Doikers 05-11-2010 06:54 PM

*Hugs Heather * Thanks that means TONS :)

*Hugs Crimson* It IS a milestone , I'm almost 30 and I'm still standing , Thanks for that :)

*Huggles Nicole* How are you tonight?

*Hugs Sarah* I'm so so sorry you are having such a horrible time . I
wish I could help more *Holds Sarah*

nicole94 05-11-2010 06:57 PM

*hugs sarah tightly* aaw sweetie, i'm sorry your family is being so awful! i really dont know what to say hun, and i know how hard it must of been to see all the police cars and the ambulance turn up. but just remember your fiance only did it because he cares about you. i'm really sorry they dont understand :(
*hugs mark* i'm ok thanks, had a bit of a bad time at college earlier, but my tutor was really understanding and she printed off some information for me and just told me to highlight the key points instead of making me research it all and put it all into my own words. and then i had a fun afternoon singing nursery rhymes to my friends stomach :D

SparkleKitten 05-11-2010 07:16 PM

*cries* is awful here :(

Thanks for the support though. You're all amazing. I love you all.

one_step_closer 05-11-2010 07:54 PM

*hugs everyone*

nicole94 05-11-2010 07:56 PM

*hugs lindsay* how're you today?

YodaBearInterrupted 05-11-2010 07:57 PM

*gives everyone huggles and cookies/brownies*

Gah, I really do hate living a lie. Pretending all is okay when its really not. *sigh* its just not going to work out in the end that well at all for me. Too many people are getting on to me about doing this and doing that, or going back to the psych/getting on meds again when I clearly am too stubborn. I feel like yeling and screaming at them, but what does that do?

*yells in here instead and sits down and curls up*


MammaMia 05-11-2010 08:08 PM

*hugs everyone tight*

nicole94 05-11-2010 08:14 PM

*hugs helen* how're you tonight?

Doikers 05-11-2010 08:21 PM

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Matt*

MammaMia 05-11-2010 09:24 PM

Nicole - I'm low & bored lol. You?
Mark - hugs back x

Doikers 05-11-2010 09:41 PM

*Hugs The Ward Goonight*

SparkleKitten 05-11-2010 10:19 PM

*cuddles Wardies* mum is now pretty much saying she wants to disown me and I have to decide between my fiance and uni... I told her I wouldn't leave my fiance and she went insane... Now doesn't want anything to do with me emotionally or mentally or anything like that. I don't know what to do anymore. Ugh... :(

MammaMia 05-11-2010 10:20 PM

Sounds like you don't need her in your life anyway sweetheart and not just saying that because of your post. I'm sorry but she has NO right to force you to choose between someone you love and education =/ *hugs* I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time of it.

*hugs Mark goodnight*

Kahlia1981 05-11-2010 11:08 PM

*huggles all*

I want to disappear ...

I just found out that my singing teacher has had another stroke .... she only had a stroke/heart attack a week or so ago. She's been locked in her house with severe depression for quite a while and now this ... I don't know.

Maybe i'm just being selfish, but I just want to attack and destroy myself because I think that will make her better. *sigh*

MammaMia 06-11-2010 01:36 AM

It won't make her better Kahlia & you know that deep down *hugs*

sunny131 06-11-2010 01:50 AM

*walks in and looks left to write, and realises she can be herself. Starts to cry and her description of herself from her friends as "emotionally stunted" because she doesn cry quickly fades. She knows this is the one place where she feels more normal, can explain her worries and show emotion. Thank you*

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 01:55 AM

*Hugs Sarah* I'm sorry you're having such a hard time, but if you want to be with your fiance, then that's what you should do. I'm sure you've learned by now that things never turn out for the best when you allow other people to make the descions for you. Why do you have to pick anyway?

*Hugs Sunny if that's ok* Hey. I'm Lia. I feel like that about the ward too. It's the one place where I can at least sort of open up and be myself.

*Hugs Kahlia* Helen's right, that won't make her better and can only make you feel worse in the long run.

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:15 AM

Just now, I asked a girl who I have never met if it was odd that I could relate to a fictional character more than anyone else in the world, and the fact that a 20 year old I met on the internet and have never seen IRL knows me far better than my best friends ever will. She said no, it was a good thing that I had a friend like that. How very wrong she was. She doesn't know how lonely this existance is. My friends, my family, they don't know me at all. No one IRL really does.

They think I am cold and uncaring. They think I'm content with my own life and love a laugh and joke. They think I can take the jokes and put downs without turning a hair, when really each tiny comment hurts and just makes me feel that little bit more worthless.

I'm so lonely...I know I have you guys, and I love you and really appreciate the support, but it comes to something when this is the only form I have and you lot know me better than people who have lived with me for years.

I'm so scared of letting go and being happy, my freedom is right at my fingertips, but I have no idea what will happen to me if I reach out and grasp it. Pain is all I have known for so long and I don't know what's outside it. This is my comfort zone and I don't know if I want to leave it. Leaving this means leaving the Ice Queen, and that's what scares me most because it's a part of me now and I don't know what I will do if all of that is stripped away.

risenfromperdition 06-11-2010 03:09 AM

"I'm so scared of letting go and being happy, my freedom is right at my fingertips, but I have no idea what will happen to me if I reach out and grasp it. Pain is all I have known for so long and I don't know what's outside it."

know how you feel =\ and i wish i could help but here if you need someone to talk <3
love you <3

Doikers 06-11-2010 09:55 AM

*Hugs Kahlia*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Sunny if okay*

*Hugs Sarah*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Heather*

Well I'm at my parents *Happy Mask on* I'm sorry to here you guys have been having such a rough night :(

On the up side My Grandma is out of hospital for what was going on 2 weeks :)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 10:26 AM

*Hugs Mark* That's great about your Grandma :)

*Hugs Heather* Thanks :) I less than three you too <3 How are you?

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 01:01 PM

So quiet...

nicole94 06-11-2010 01:06 PM

*hugs ward*

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 01:41 PM

Woo, a person. How are you Nicole? *Hugs*

nicole94 06-11-2010 01:47 PM

lol lia, yesh i am a person....at least i think so :/ but you never know with me, i could quite easily be an alien.
sorry, i'm in a weird mood today :/ but i'm happy :D and also kinda bored :/ *hugs* how're you?

Doikers 06-11-2010 01:57 PM

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Nicole*

Sorry I've offline , we had my Aunt and Uncle up here at my parents.

I am Meeting Hannah L for coffee at 3pm !!!!!!Yey , I so love her , it's the one thing I'm looking forward to these next few days :)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:09 PM

Yay, have fun with that Mark :)

Lol Nicole, well I'm glad you're in a good mood. I don't know what mood I am in, sort of a bit of everything and it's all a little jumbled up. See above post (right at the top) for explanation. But I'm not unhappy as such, and I have a party and a Christmas weekend to look forward to :)

nicole94 06-11-2010 02:13 PM

*hugs mark* have fun :D
*hugs lia* lol. heh, i'm just in a random mood, although it is starting to dissappear as my sister has just come in and started having a go at me :/ gah. sorry you're feeling all jumbled up, thats crappy :( but at least you have things to look forward too :D.

nicole94 06-11-2010 02:15 PM

:O lia, i was just looking at your FB page, you are actually only 15 days older than me :D lol

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:24 PM

Ha. I'm the oldest :P

Sorry, that was inmature. I'm an April fool baby, funny story actually. No one believed my mum when she rung them up to tell them she had had me, my brother and sister because not only were we 3 months early, but it was April fools' day. I've got quite a lot to get done today and should really work on my English essay...oh the joys.

nicole94 06-11-2010 02:28 PM

lol, damn it, does that make me the youngest in the ward then? i think it does :/ ahh, fun, i have retail homework to do :/ but i dont think dolores will mind if i dont do it because she knows how much i've been struggling latley.
omfg, i dont know what to do. i wanna hurt myself! i dont wanna be here anymore :( why does he have to do this?

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 02:45 PM

*Hugs Nicole* What's the matter?

nicole94 06-11-2010 02:57 PM

*hugs lia*

my step brother (the one that sexually abused me when we were younger) just messaged me on facebook with a load of pictures of girls private parts and then right at the end a picture of him with his trousers round his ankles :'( it really triggerd me
(sorry if this triggers anyone, i dunno how to do a hide box.)

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 03:14 PM

*Holds Nicole tight* I'm so sorry. Can't you block him, or delete him or something? Report him on fb so they ban his account? For now, please try not to give into those urges. I don't know what else to say. I'm sorry.

nicole94 06-11-2010 03:33 PM

i'm not friends with him, but i might be able to block his profile, although at the same time i wanna keep an eye on him, i dont want him to hurt anybody else, and there is no way i am reporting him incase it gets out that it was me and it would just cause more trouble with my family :( *hugs* i've deleted the message though.

FlyingNy 06-11-2010 04:00 PM

Do your family know what he did? I know you want to keep an eye, but you're not responsible for him and it's not your fault if he does hurt anyone else. Plus, he's not likely to post it on fb if he does, so I don't think being able to see his profile is going to make a difference. I'm pretty sure you can block people on fb, but I don't know how.

nicole94 06-11-2010 04:04 PM

*hugs lia* yeah my family know, but it caused a lot of trouble and we are just starting to re-build a relationship, i dont wanna ruin that. And i know he wouldnt post it on FB, but there might be some signs, i know im not responsible but i cant let him hurt anyone else if i can help it. :(

MammaMia 06-11-2010 04:18 PM

You can block people on FB, let me know if you decide to and don't know how to do it Nicole. Same goes to everyone else. I've got quite a few people blocked. Nicole, I think Lia's right, if he was to hurt anyone else or give any signs, he wouldn't brag on facebook. I know you feel responsible that he doesn't hurt anyone else, but it's NOT your responsibility sweetheart. It really isn't. *cuddles tight*

*hugs ward*

nicole94 06-11-2010 04:23 PM

*hugs helen* i know.... :( just looked at his profile and the pictures that he sent me are also in an album on his profile, he has a picture, of a womans private parts. on his facebook. he is 13. that isnt right. is it? i'm not just being over sensitive am i? :(

MammaMia 06-11-2010 04:27 PM

*hugs Nicole* You're not being oversensitive. It's against the rules to post those type of photos over facebook anyway. So I'd recommend reporting them if you feel comfortable in doing so. Also he really shouldn't be doing that, at any age, especially at 13!!

nicole94 06-11-2010 04:35 PM

*hugs helen* thankyou. i blocked his profile, but i cant report him, im not risking my relationship with my family over him, he's not worth it.

Doikers 06-11-2010 04:52 PM

*Hugs Nicole* Oh thats terrible , please try and be safe . I know you want to keep an eye on him but you perhaps get the police invovled?

*Hugs Lia* How are you , sorry if you said but this is a fly by post :S

I had coffee with my friend and she said I could ring her on the 9th , it's great I can be honest with her , but I got home and a car was missing and I knew I was right and I was , My parents are back at A&E , my Grandma has been re-admitted :(

nicole94 06-11-2010 04:56 PM

*hugs mark* i'm so sorry you're grandmas been re-admitted, but at least shes being cared for in the hospital *hugs* and its great that your friend is so supportive!
i'm just trying to forget it now. idk. i give up....

MammaMia 06-11-2010 05:10 PM


Originally Posted by nicole94 (Post 2556089)
*hugs helen* thankyou. i blocked his profile, but i cant report him, im not risking my relationship with my family over him, he's not worth it.

I meant report it on facebook, nobody needs to know.


Originally Posted by Doikers (Post 2556103)
I had coffee with my friend and she said I could ring her on the 9th , it's great I can be honest with her , but I got home and a car was missing and I knew I was right and I was , My parents are back at A&E , my Grandma has been re-admitted :(

That rocks about your friend, sorry to hear about your Gran xx

nicole94 06-11-2010 05:12 PM

i know you meant report it on facebook, but i have had friends that have done that and the person has found out, i dont wanna risk it *hugs*

one_step_closer 06-11-2010 05:29 PM

Mark, i'm sorry to hear about your Gran. *hugs*

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