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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

Kahlia1981 26-03-2009 08:10 AM

*offers hugs to everyone*

I'm surviving ... well I'm still alive so I guess that proves that point. I made an emergency appointment with my GP today and got another injection. She's doubling the dose from now on. Worried about my violent rapid cycling mood. On the good side, got to see my house-mate who is in hospital and he appears to be doing okay. Better anyway. Well, one day at a time right ??

wildly insane 26-03-2009 09:44 AM

*hugs Kahlia* glad your housemate is doing better and I hope the injection helps you, like you said, one day at a time.

*hugs silently crying* you aren't useless, please stay strong.

*hugs Kat* well done for getting through the night without hurting yourself, I hope it keeps going that way.

*hugs Arwen* sorry to hear that the noises aren't giving you any respite, I hope you can stay safe.

*hugs Hana* we understand and you can do this, even if Jamie doesn't it's obvious that he cares a lot, I hope you managed to get through the night okay.

*hugs Gil* thanks hun

*hugs Devil girl* I hope the noise quietens down and you get some rest

*hugs Dayna* how are you doing hun?

*hugs Shieldworld**hugs Michaella**hugs Helen*

*hugs Emma, Shell, Jade, MaryAnne and Katie if you drop in, hope you're doing okay*

me? I'm just being me with a cold and emotional with no-one to talk to.

Kahlia1981 26-03-2009 09:47 AM

*hugs Hannah* Thank you. I had fixed my laptop but now it's being sill again. *grumbles*

zowie 26-03-2009 09:50 AM

Going to London today to see my baby cousins. That should cheer me up :)

Long*Past 26-03-2009 10:04 AM

ugh... I feel so sick...
Of course this would happen the day I'm supposed to see Watchmen with my Mom...
but at least I'm seeing my doctor on Friday...
Lets see... what do I need to talk to Dr.Clay about?
ADD meds
Anti-depressants (that work)
How crap I feel right now due to this sudden illness
How I've been hacking up a storm since we got back from California...
oh yea,
and getting on the pill 'cause my cramps are unbearable.

Ughh... I need more sleep...


Oh and thanks Wildly.

Steel Maiden 26-03-2009 11:22 AM

Ugh I have gastroenteritis and I feel so ill...I'm sick of feeling ill.
And the Voices are screaming at me.

I had this dream where I had these sick things all over my leg and I can't get the sickening images out of my mind. Its just...disgusting.

I hate sleeping. I just get horrible dreams and I spend half the night awake, listening to the Voices.

The only thing that stops me from strangling myself at night is my Soulmate, he will txt me until 4am in the morning even though he has to get up for work at 7am. He's amazing.

shieldworld 26-03-2009 05:10 PM

Steel, what are they saying?
I used to get really horrible dreams too, with bugs and stuff all over my body and down my throat...-shudders- It was horrible. Now I have to burn incense before I go to bed and sleep with Chris's hoodie for them to go away at all.

zowie 26-03-2009 07:55 PM

The voices keep me awake at night, and then usually I have either really weird dreams or horrible nightmares.
Sounds like you've got a really nice soulmate steel :) You're lucky.
xxx

~*Rainbow*~ 26-03-2009 08:28 PM

*hugs to all*

Sorry its not more just a bit stressed atm

Gilz xxxx

MammaMia 26-03-2009 08:56 PM

C-O-L-D

shadowedsoul 26-03-2009 10:07 PM

walks in and finds a safe corner and hides under a blanket. its all too much

Long*Past 26-03-2009 11:39 PM

Ow, ow, ow.
Head pounding...
Make it stop!
Ow!
I don't have the energy to get up and clean my room,
but I want to go see this movie with Mom...
I really do.
I need to spend more time with my mom.

*huggles all*

Damnation. 27-03-2009 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1512083)
*hugs Dayna* how are you doing hun?

I live ._.;. On a downward spiral though. Got the doctor's again tomorrow (**** D:!) though. Feel like my bastard 'friend' doesn't care about me or anyone else in our group of friends any more. He haunts my dreams too much

*hugs to everyone else*

Damnation. 27-03-2009 04:58 AM

**** IT ALL.

I ****ING HATE THIS TIME OF NIGHT.

I ****ING HATE BEING ALONE.

I JUST WANT TO ****ING DIE. Please, just let me die

Long*Past 27-03-2009 05:46 AM

*hugs Damn*
No dieing, please?
I will be with you.
You don't have to be alone.

Damnation. 27-03-2009 05:58 AM

*Hugs Crying back* I think I'm a little calmer. Not much, but I've managed to stop crying at least

Long*Past 27-03-2009 06:51 AM

That's good.
Want to talk about what happened?

Kahlia1981 27-03-2009 07:17 AM

*hugs Dayna* ~ I'm just sorry I wasn't online earlier.

*hugs everyone in the ward including those hiding in corners all over the place - with the exception of those who are not able to accept hugs*

I am ... okay. On the down side of my cycle, but at least I'm not rapid cycling now. My house-mate might get released from hospital on Monday. In one way I'm hoping that he does because I miss him badly, (G.d being in love sucks) but on the other hand I want him to be where he is definitely safe and will definitely be safe.

I have to remember to drop the paperwork for my Disability Pension off at my doctors office either tomorrow morning or Monday. She'll give it back to me on Friday when I go for my next injection and then I can fill my part of it in and send them both off. I also have to remember to change my address with the electoral roll. Meh.

Anyway, life is life.

zowie 27-03-2009 11:04 AM

I got rejected for DLA. Apparently I'm fine.

Kahlia1981 27-03-2009 11:07 AM

*offers Arwen hugs* ~ Please forgive me but I don't know what DLA stands for ... :S

MammaMia 27-03-2009 11:53 AM

DLA stands for Disability Living Allowance Kahlia

MammaMia 27-03-2009 11:55 AM

:/

These urges are too strong, I should have followed out my plans much better last night.

Steel Maiden 27-03-2009 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shieldworld (Post 1512692)
Steel, what are they saying?
I used to get really horrible dreams too, with bugs and stuff all over my body and down my throat...-shudders- It was horrible. Now I have to burn incense before I go to bed and sleep with Chris's hoodie for them to go away at all.

They tell me to Kill other people and to cut myself up really badly, and that I am a bad person etc.
Hugs, bad dreams are horrible.
I should try burning incense before I go to sleep, what exactly do you use?

Steel Maiden 27-03-2009 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1513063)
The voices keep me awake at night, and then usually I have either really weird dreams or horrible nightmares.
Sounds like you've got a really nice soulmate steel :) You're lucky.
xxx

Thanks. He is wonderful and its amazing as I met him on the internet. I apparently mean the world to him and he says that if I died, he would kill himself with grief =/
Night times are horrible.

Damnation. 27-03-2009 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steel Maiden (Post 1514412)
Thanks. He is wonderful and its amazing as I met him on the internet. I apparently mean the world to him and he says that if I died, he would kill himself with grief =/
Night times are horrible.

Tell me about it. I like night time, but the small hours of the morning, before I can sleep, and after everyone else has gone offline...haet

wildly insane 27-03-2009 06:58 PM

It's all gone, the darkness is complete, hope has died and I have no strength left to fight anymore, I do not know how to cope with tonight, I don't know how to cope with tomorrow, it's all fallen to pieces.

Kahlia1981 27-03-2009 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 1514199)
DLA stands for Disability Living Allowance Kahlia

Thanks Helen. I'm on DSP (Disability Support Pension) - and it's up for renewal.

*offers hugs to all*

MammaMia 27-03-2009 07:58 PM

I don't know what to do.
Okay.
Maybe I do but don't want to take THOSE options.
Blah.
I suck.
Fail.
:D

Michaella 27-03-2009 09:15 PM

*rocks back and forth * i havent checked in, in a few days i think so im checking in now. i am really struggleing with my urges right now and needing to.

hope everyones ok

*hugs everyone that wants it*

Kahlia1981 27-03-2009 09:36 PM

I'm so sick of getting up at 4 in the morning. Hopefully things will start to settle shortly ... it's just ....

It's now about 7:30 am and I've already cleaned my room (except for the vacuuming), taken out the rubbish from the fridge and cleaned the fridge, emptied the ash-tray, cleaned the bathroom, put the cushion covers back on the cushions and washed the dishes. Now I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do. Everything just feels so .... like a waste of time. Maybe that's just the depressive side of my illness talking. GD I hope so. I want a nice ray of sunshine to brighten up my day ...

*offers hugs to everyone then hides in a corner and cries*

~*Rainbow*~ 27-03-2009 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MammaMia (Post 1514918)
I don't know what to do.
Okay.
Maybe I do but don't want to take THOSE options.
Blah.
I suck.
Fail.
:D


Babe you dont need to fail you have me im always there for you!!! hold on till i come home!!! i need you as much as you maybe need me!!!!! im having a **** time i'm loosing my other half becasue i went out drinking with an old mate on monday!!!

Long*Past 28-03-2009 12:35 AM

*wanders around*
I wish my brother would just get checked into a real one of these...
or like and addictions clinic,
or SOMETHING!
But I don't think they accept people who are addicted to their computer into rehab...
Ugh... if he would go away our family would be so much better,
and there would be next to no yelling,
and WAY fewer fights...
No one wants to be here anymore...
And that is backwards.
Three of us are being alienated by one...

GAH!
I want to cut so bad!
It would make me feel so much better in the short term!

MammaMia 28-03-2009 12:35 AM

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH
Please give up on me P.
Please.

Pomegranate 28-03-2009 01:48 AM

aaaaw Zowie that is aweful! Have they said why? If everything was fine then you would not be hearing things and struggling with thoughts of hurting yourself. I read somewhere that the government is trying to get down DLA expenditure....maybe that is it? Please don't let it get you down. You can always appeal. I think the best thing you could do would be to call them, or get your Dad to to find out why you were rejected.


*sits with Kahlia* I can't imagine being up (or even going to bed) at that time lol. I hope things are starting to even out a bit for you hun.

*hugs Hannah* How are you doing now? I know it is a cliche, but it is also true...as long as you are alive then hope never dies. Have you spoken to your bf/friend about how you are feeling?

*waves at Dayna* I am also often up until 5/6/7am lol and it does suck! Especially when you are feeling especially bad and there is nobody awake to support you.

Hey Oly, how are things today? It sounds like the voices are playing up, although to be honest it seems like they were always likely to get stronger when you were changing meds. Please remember that they are a symptom of your illness, not real. You can fight what they tell you to do. You are not alone.

*offers cuddles for Michaela* How are you doing now? *offers a tissue and a listening ear*

Hiya Silently_crying- how are things going with your brother? It must be tough if he is the source of constant arguments, alienation or whatever. I hope you have managed not to cut. You do not deserve to punish yourself for your brothers actions.

*waves at Rainbow*- how is Scotland going with your parents? How are you?

*leaves hugs and chocolate for people*

ThinkingofRecovery 28-03-2009 01:52 AM

i wish they wanted to make me better or look after me but they want to get rid of me. i'll have the last laugh at my inquest. Please will someone make sure they see my threads?

Kahlia1981 28-03-2009 02:26 AM

*cuddles Emma*

Long*Past 28-03-2009 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 1515666)
Hiya Silently_crying- how are things going with your brother? It must be tough if he is the source of constant arguments, alienation or whatever. I hope you have managed not to cut. You do not deserve to punish yourself for your brothers actions.

Ugh, not so great. He's such a jerk... And he has bi-polar which he is now using as an excuse for him being an ass.
He treats everyone like crap.
I haven't, but it's really tempting....
I know I don't deserve that... it would just make me feel less stressed, I guess.
*sigh*
Thanks though.
How are you?

Pomegranate 28-03-2009 02:44 AM

I am glad you have managed to resist self harming. Bi polar is a cruel illness but it cannot be used to excuse every bad behaviour. Please keep fighting it x

Long*Past 28-03-2009 04:53 AM

Yea, I'm currently substituting junk food for cutting.
Bleh, doesn't make me feel as good, but I'm hoping the chocolate will help kick some kind of happy in...

Auburn Shadow 28-03-2009 10:14 AM

*leaves hugs for everyone*

Can't do much more than that right now. Wish I could. Thinking of you all. x

wildly insane 28-03-2009 10:43 AM

*hugs Hana* hope you are okay

*hugs Emma* thanks hun, am doing better this morning although did end up at A&E getting stitches last night so that might have something to do with it. My b/friend cancelled meeting at the weekend and then didn't reply to my last text message so I'm going to write a letter so that even if I don't get to talk to him on monday I can give it to him which will hopefully result in a proper chat.

*hugs SilentlyCrying* sounds tough, an arguing family is always difficult when you're struggling yorself. Do you have anywhere to yourself?

*hugs Kahlia* I'm sorry to hear you're not sleeping well, look after yourself a bit, ok?

*hugs no reason* *hugs Helen* keep fighting

*hugs Gil* hey hun I'm sure you haven't lost him, hope you are ok.

*hugs Michaella* hope you managed to resist those urges

*hugs Dayna* hope you slept okay, how are you doing?

*hugs Steel Maiden* I hope last night wasn't so bad and you managed to ignore the voices. You are very lucky to have found a soulmate :)

*hugs Arwen* how was London, sorry to hear about the DLA some people just really don't get it, keep trying though.

*hugs Jade* how are you doing hun?

*hugs shell* if you drop by before I get to write you an email will be writing one soon.

Like I said I'm a bit calmer today but it is the morning and it's the evenings I struggle with as I'm tired by then.

MammaMia 28-03-2009 12:32 PM

*hugs everybody*

Long*Past 28-03-2009 07:08 PM

Not completely.
I mean I have my laptop in my room,
but I have no insulation in my cieling really,
so anything that goes on upstairs comes right down to me...
I think RYL is the closest I have.

Steel Maiden 28-03-2009 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pomegranate (Post 1515666)
Hey Oly, how are things today? It sounds like the voices are playing up, although to be honest it seems like they were always likely to get stronger when you were changing meds. Please remember that they are a symptom of your illness, not real. You can fight what they tell you to do. You are not alone.

Today has been up and down. My Mum was really nice to me today, which was good, and I'm getting better from my virus.
Thanks so much for your kind words. I am trying to remind myself that They're not real, but They are standing outside my window, on the street below, waiting for me to come out. One of Them is smoking and They're both grown men which scares me.
It is good to know that I am not alone. RYL has saved my life.
How are you doing? What have you been doing?

TOMORROW I AM GOING TO STUDY.

Steel Maiden 28-03-2009 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wildly insane (Post 1516066)
*hugs Steel Maiden* I hope last night wasn't so bad and you managed to ignore the voices. You are very lucky to have found a soulmate :)

Thanks so much. Last night, well, this morning, I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 5am =/ but my soulmate is amazing and he txted me for most of the night and part of the morning. Also LBC 97.3FM (www.lbc.co.uk) kept me company for several hours...I love that station.
How are you doing? What are you doing these days?

Steel Maiden 28-03-2009 07:44 PM

*HUGS ALL and leaves jelly with cream for everyone*

zowie 28-03-2009 08:55 PM

Sorry I'm not leaving personal replies, but when the posts are over a page I forget who said what and get confused :P
Thank you to the people who sympathised about the DLA. I am going to appeal, luckily my grandma has experience in her job helping people appeal against DLA decisions. I think they turned me down because I put down the name of my old psych who never took me seriously. I hated him.
London was good. My cousins are growing up fast :)
Slept all day today, and just want to go to bed. >.< Lazy bitch.

*Leaves hugs and warm blankets for everyone* xxx

Kahlia1981 28-03-2009 09:29 PM

I didn't sleep so good last night and now I just feel crummy. It was like a return to my old sleep pattern. AND I'm freezing cold.

*leaves hugs for everyone*

Auburn Shadow 29-03-2009 12:52 AM

*hugs everyone*

I just want to give up.

MammaMia 29-03-2009 02:29 AM

I'm feeling oh so poorly :(

Not doing too great emotionall either...


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