*huggles/waves at everybody*

Heather: That does sound good - with the outfit. Try not to let your dad get too you, though I do realise that's easier to say than do. Sounds like he has mental issues with your size. Like maybe he thinks it reflects badly on him maybe? Just thinking out loud ... or with my fingers. He just reminds me of the dude who started me on my ED path - he started me off two weeks after his daughter was dx with anorexia. Is it okay if I offer hugs?

Julie: How are you going hun? Other than feeling like crashing out in bed.

Sorry for not replying to more people, my memory isn't all that crash hot this morning and those are the only two I can remember. *feels really bad and crawls into a corner to disappear*

yus, i likes hugs. *takes hugs gratefully*
how're you <3

*sits next to heather* ur daddy is just being mean

i'm.... i'm fine i guess

No, no "fine" ... we "banned" that word from being used in here... lol... it's okay though *cuddles Julie* What's up, sweet?

Am feeling exhausted myself, just got back from the outing and it's 8:45pm. Didn't really connect too much with the girls I'm "mentoring" (like I'm in any place to mentor!! >_< but they don't need to know that)... didn't talk a lot with my bestie til the end... just kind of stood there and watched the interactions. :-/ Immaturity reigned for awhile. :-/

*hides in her hole* :'(

*shuffles into a box and eats lunch*

... really really bad...

Just want to disappear

*hugs Laura* What's wrong?

*hugs Julie, Hels & Kahlia* since I see you all.

*cuddles all*

What's wrong Laura? :(

*huggles Heather* - I'm okay, just cold. How are you?

*hugs Julie* - Is there anything we can help with Julie?

*digs down in hole and hugs April* - Sounds like there was a lot happening. Apart from exhausted, how are you doing?

*huggles Laura* - You okay? Anythign we can do to help?

*glomps Taz* - Sorry, just had to glomp someone. :p How are you doing?

I've read quite a bit of a good book on Reverse Engineering. It's really good. The last chapter went into a bit of detail on Assembly Language which was easy for me to understand because I've spent a bit of time learning it. Now I'm learning about how the Windows O/S works. It's extremely interesting ... I think I might be a geek. lol.

At least it is keeping me busy ...

*pounces on Hels and hugs her* - Sorry for missing you there. How are you doing?

*hugs Kahlia lots* I'm doing okay. Well mostly. Ended up having a massive cry earlier. My best friend's been really struggling, so been very worried. She came online on Saturday & eventually last night (it's now Monday early am here) and just ended up crying about her. I'm soooooo worried sick about her, I know her hubby will keep her safe. The things she said just broke my heart, it's not her fault, she didn't ask for things to happen :'( Worried about my other best friend aswell. I love them both, am so scared of losing them. We'll win our fight eventually, I know, but I'm *still* scared :'(

I've spent the last 2 days having to rip apart everything in my life, pointing out all of the bad, and then listening to other people rip apart the rest. Reasoning for me talking bad about my life/things is a very long story.. But in part it was to please selfish people. And then today at my sister grad party.. I had to listen to my extended family talk bad about my university and other things. Why I am never good enough for anyone?

You're good enough for us sweetheart & I'm sure you are for other people :( *cuddles tight*

*hugs Laura* You're more than good enough for us <3

*cuddles Hels* It sounds like good reasons to be scared, I'm sure any one of us would feel the same <3 Keep yourself safe though, okay?

*pounces on Kahlia* You're definitely a geek ;) But that's okay. Geeks are awesome :-)

I just SI'ed. Told myself I wouldn't... almost made it to 3 full days, and gave in. It was too easy. Nobody is home except my brother, and he's all the way upstairs. I don't even know why. Can't even remember what triggered me. F*ck.

I just try and try and nothing I do is ever good enough.. There is always something wrong with who I am or what I do. For my mom, its the scars... for my uncle it's my uni because it is not the one HE would have chosen.. for a few other family members its because my uni is too much of a party school... and the list could go on.

It's making me hate who I am and what i do. It's all pointless. I am a fail and i always will be.

*cuddles helen* i'm glad that you are feeling alright. I really do think that you and your friends will get through all of this.

*hugs taz* sorry to hear that you SI'd. Wish I more words for you right now. *offers cuddles*

*hugs kahlia* i'm a geek too! lol Its okay to be one. Glad you are keeping busy

I spy julie!

*cuddles Laura* You are not a fail at all <3 I can see how that would be a ton of added pressure and frustrations. Have you tried talking to any of them, telling them to maybe back off?

Hels: *huggles you then holds tightly* That's a very valid reason to be scared hon. I agree with Laura, you and your friends will get through this. It's just an unfortunate thing about life that we all have to go through these absolute crap bits to get to the good stuff. *offers stuffed animal*

Laura: I have to echo everyone else. You are good enough for us, but can I ask you a question. Are you good enough for you? Because in the end that is the only person that you really have to please. In the end, when everything is weighed and balanced, all that will really matter is whether You are happy with your decisions. That doesn't mean you'll be happy with all of them, but if, on average, you are happy, then you have won. *hugs you*

*pounces on Taz* - Would you believe that my brother says I'm not a geek? Nor a nerd? My housemate just says he doesn't know me lol. But thanks so much. Geeks are awesome. :-)

*cuddles laura*
poke me on fb if wanna
<3

*hugs helen, taz, kahlia, and heather*

I can't tell them to back off. I dont know how to be forward like that, i suck at it.
And, i dont know if i am good enough for me. I don't really know who i am. I've never really cared about myself, so it hasn't mattered

Thanks everyone though. I really appreciate it. you are all awesome <3