*Hugs Celtic Wings* what are stuffies?

*Hugs Lindsay*

How is everyone?

runs in... huddles in the corner with the my fuzzy blanket and hood over my head....
guilty

hugs everyone

stuffies=stuff aminals.
:)
/maaaark- i *might* getta see you :D
if can scrape together the freaking train fare :P
louise- nice picture :)

*Hugs Heather* I heard from Felicia ! That would be so cool :)

*Hugs Mousie*

*Hugs Louise*

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Mousie*

*hugs Mark*

is it ok if i post a poem?

Yes thats Fine Monk :) How creative !*Hugs*

*Hugs Louise*

So now I say goodbye
For now it is the last time
I thought it could be better
But you've proved me wrong

I held onto this
I held onto us
But now I let go
Now finally it is time

You hurt me, and I think you know
I never imagined you would be that way
I never regretted a word spoken
But now I regret every day

It was not your story to tell
It was no longer your concern
Why couldn't you leave it be
Just the way you left me

But what's done is done
And now I say goodbye
As I slowly bleed because of you
And may your conscience be drenched in my blood.

i really figured out that during my time in the ward that im really trist inside my heart and my emotions are getting unstable ui know i need drugs to calm me down. its the only thing that can help. but its illegal and thats what stops me on the way to making myself calm down. how can i do this without the help of drugs. now remember. medicine that the doctor prescribes is also drugs. and i've been taking antipsychotics and i just had enough. i wanna go exoplore something different than just what i dont have. it just makes me feel more empty than i already am. i dont think talking to ppl i dont know by eyesight helps me anymore. i just dont know what to do. other than sit in my bed or at the computer crying inside cause no one reaches out to me. and when i last talked to someone qualified to talk to it was like she poushed me away and everyone is sneaking up one me from everywhere. i need to talk to someone that has the same feelings as me but i know its just a trap cause there is no one there. my family cant help cause i got really bad memories from there. and i cant just call ppl and ask if i can meet them to be with them for just one day. cause i know they'll just say that they dont know me and hang up. im sitting with a memory of a ex-friend that i never got to say the last word to before i never saw her again. it broke my heart. and what crushed my heart even more was the ex-gf i had after that twisted my mentality into some unknown dream world i wanted nothing from and she dragged me from the gutters and threw me into solitary just like that song from evanescence. i never talk to any psychologists or therapists or nothing. just like everyone wants me away. best i can hope for is sleep like that apodorm. it made me sleep like fast. but it took like two hours for it to work. and i dont get that tonight cause i have to talk to my doctor to get it. i jsut get the vallergan that dont help at all.

but you are an angel said st.peter. i said i was not cause i have no wings. but you can fly in your dreams he said. yes i can i replied. he said then why dont you use them. because using is part of taking from others and i dont want to go down that path cause it haunts me in my dreams and i help others fight it.

im feeling a little anxious. just say if you want me to go away or something.

Hi Monk, I'm Oliver. I'm feeling anxious too. any reason for your anxiety?

dont gotta go 'way :)

cause i dont get to talk to someone with whats on my heart. it must be someone special like more special than my mom or dad or sisters. but no psychiatrists have talked to me. even though she said she was going to. no one comes visiting me with things that i can handle. they just come here just going to a place like not to meet anyone just have a place to stay. never get to be asked if i want to go out. i do this on my own accourd. and the way my last relationship ended left me a bit wandering.

<3 <3 <3

bleh.
oding is addicting *hides*

i did actually o'd some months back. ended up in the ova in the hospital.

*Hugs Monk* That's a powerful poem . The ward will be here to support you Monk :)

*Hugs Heather*

*Hugs Oliver*

*hugs everyone*

*creeps in while it's dark and hides under the covers*