I went ahead and looked at something triggering thinking I would be fine...but then ended up not. Now Amara has come to visit again...and she's giving me tons of ideas... I'm stupid for looking in the first place, I should have just skipped over it. -sighs- -hugs lia back-

You're not self involved Mark, you're always helping the rest of us out.

Kitty, any chance you can do anything to drown her out?

*Hugs Lia* I love you as I do all my other ward mates you are always there for me :)
On a nice note I have been texting My only guy friends , who is as gay as the day is long but he is my friend so I don't care . I haven't seen him in ages and he might come to town just to meet me next Monday and I'm ecxited :)

I'm trying, Lia. I am browsing that "not right" site on facebook trying to distract myself but she is getting louder. I'm still trying, though.

And mark you are not selfish you are awesome. You have helped me more than I can even say and I know I am not the only one you have helped. -hugs-

Yay, that will give you something to look forward to Mark :) I love you too, you're always supporting everyone else, even if you're feeling **** yourself. *Returns hugs*

Keep fighting Kitty *Hugs*

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Kitty*

I texted the Love of my life and am trying to get a 20 month ago Psych ward reunion going . We were thrown together in hard circumstanses and I still love these guys . I would not have survived hospital without them .

Thankyou both for having so much faith in me :D

-hugs mark- I hope you can get the reunion going. That would be cool.

-hugs lia- I'm trying.

That sounds nice Mark :) I know it's not the same thing, but I miss my friends from primary school. I haven't seen them in months and was thinking of arranging to meet them.

You should Lia , If you are ecxited about that as I am about this :) I'm heading to bed .
Love you guys :)

Night night mark. -hugs-

Night night Mark *Hugs* I'm glad you have something to look forward to :)

*hugs Mark goodnight*

-curls up on the couch and just stares blankly-

Wondering...why is it that when you go see the doctor and they diagnose you with a mental illness, they say something like "But knowing the diagnosis is not important."?!? Anyone else have this happen? I mean...I would like to know what the **** is wrong with me...and that starts with knowing what I am diagnosed with. Why? Oh I don't know...maybe because I have a retarded doctor and I would like to research ways to help myself because I don't want to live like this anymore. It seems like he wants me to live in this hell with the way he acts..

-sighs-

*Hugs Kitty* it indeed sucks that way it is run there... But I don't think there would be a lot you could do without further healthcare, even if you did know.

Was so down earlier. Went tesco and bought a load of green tea to drink and calm down. I don't know whats wrong with me. Earlier I cried because I missed Rebecca so much :( Whats wrong with me?

-hugs lia- I couldn't go to another doctor, no. But I could do my own research on google. If I am pregnant I will be able to get heath care through the state. But I have to wait until Friday to take the home pregnancy test I have if my cycle hasn't started by then. If it's positive, then I have to go in and get a pregnancy test through a clinic (luckily there is one that does them for free not too far from where I live) so that I can get documentation to get on medical.

*cuddles Kitty* Hope you're okay hun x

-snuggles sarah-

Tis quiet..

tis very quiet now... did everyone in the uk head to bed? it is around 10 pm where mark is (in wales) now...