I got a new kitten! And he's so super adorable!
I will post pics and properly read and reply when I'm not so tired.

*gets out her celebration bubbles and sets them on the table going back under her blanket in the corner. still not okay wanna SI the only thing stopping me is... http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-..._1729879_n.jpg him nope hes not my hubby

*Hugs Claire* Welcome to the ward :)

*Congratulations and Hugs to Helen , Kahlia and April!!!* *Throws confetti over each of you* :)

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Taz*

*Hugs Jill*

*Hugs anarchistl0ve*

WOOO *puts some tunes on*

Thanks Mark :)

I'm still really worried about Nicole, I know a few of us are. I fear something's happened =[ Just hope I'm wrong.

Congratulations!!!

I'm feeling so low right now and don't know what to do with myself. I am supposed to be doing another programme with the Prince's Trust about the environment, it started on Tuesday but I got lost and today I didn't even bother going. It's hard to find the motivation to do anything now that my brother has moved out.

*Hugs Lindsay*

Good morning everyone. *cuddles all*

Am still so proud of you both, Hels & Kahlia. ^_^ *throws some extra confetti*

Lindsay, sweetie, is there any way that we can help??

Laura, how are you doing, hon? feeling any better physically?

I'm worried about Nicole too... :-/

Mark, how are you??

Becca, love, what's been going on to make you this low?

Sorry, I know I didn't get everyone... but I did try. :( And with a head as muddled as mine is right now I think that's pretty good. :-/

Today is my 2 month free mark. Woohoo!! :) I'm happy... especially as a few days ago after a massive row with my parents (well, it felt massive, it's made up now) I felt like cutting so much... but didn't. ^_^

My ED is messing up my head again. Jarrod's disappointed/pissed off/frustrated that he can't fix me and that's annoying me... I don't know... I can't do anything about it. :( He's gonna act the way he's gonna act... and I can't stop him from being that way. He loves me & I know it but he just doesn't get it... :(

And I'm terrified that my new nutritionist is going to want me to go PHP... :-/

*hides in the warren & cries*

Unless I'm mistaken April....you, Kahlia & I are all celebrating our achievements on the same day (25th - today!!! GO US!!!! Kahlia, if I'm wrong, feel free to correct me :D

I've also had more good news today :D I've got a group assessment (interview) for the same Christmas job that I had last year. Not long just found out, so that's really pleased me. That's next Friday. The college enrolment sessions are next week aswell, I'm going on the Thursday, so hopefully will get a place. It's all looking up right now :D

****, as I was writing this, I got some bad news about one of my besties :( Oh dear. She's in the right place to be though (hospital).

Yep, the 25th is the day on which I'm celebrating!! So woot, we really have good coordination of celebration days!! XD Lol.

I'm so glad, Hels, that things are looking up for you (except for your bestie - but at least she's in hospital and getting the help that she needs, right? I know not much comfort but that's the best I can offer :( sorry). I hope that you get that job and also that you get into uni... all of that would be awesome. ^_^ You definitely deserve things to look up for you - we all do. :)

Ugh. I really need to eat SOMETHING for breakfast even if it's small, otherwise Jarrod will be so disappointed later. Stupid stupid me. I told him what I was going to eat and now I'm trying to figure a way around that... :( Stupid eating disorder, stupid stupid April, stupid everything about me.

:crying:

Helen , Good luck with your Chrismas job assesment and you college enrollment , Do you know what you are going to enrol for or are you going to sus it out there *Hugs* Sorry to hear about your friend abut she will be taken care of in hospital .

We really do have good coordination of celebration days!! XD Lol.

I'm glad things are looking up for me :) But least my bestie is in hospital getting the help she needs indeed. Just hope this time, she doesn't have similar experiences to the last two, but I suppose her Gran will be round lots more and I think the staff involved won't be allowed near her. I hope I get the job and into college too (it's not uni, already did that for a year :P College usually happens before uni, you can't get into uni without it.) Fingers crossed :) It would be awesome & thank you =) It's not been the best of years but even if I only got into the college course, it would mean so much.

Try eat April :( Not stupid at all.

Mark, we must have posted at same time, thank you :) Hopefully the staff will look after her in hospital. They don't always look after her properly. Which is why I often worry bit extra when she goes in. I know what course I want to do, but not sure what level to start at so going to ask when I go in next week =D I will be there for 3/4 years depending where I start, eek!! Going to be an old woman by time I get to leave lol, will be 23/24!!

Im sorry guys...I have no individual replies today.
Ive just got back from seeing my nana in hospital.
The cancer has grown. And spread.
I saw my nana breakdown and cry for the first time in nearly 20 years.
Ouch.
So I went and got stoned.
im a **** up

Hmm, here college = uni, and uni = college so no wonder I got confused!! lol. I do hope that you get into what you want to get into, Hels. Will be keeping you in my thoughts/prayers. :) Have you had any news on your bestie? *hugs* Or the job, for that matter?

Lex, hon, you're not a ****up. You may make screwups but that doesn't mean that you ARE one. If that makes sense? And I'm so sorry that you had to see your nana that way, that had to be really really difficult. :( *gentle hugs if okay?* Is there anything I/we can do to help??

I ate a little bit... but not a lot. I can't. My stomach is unhappy with my right now & I swear it's not psychosomatic, it really is real and I hate feeling ill. :( Stupid ED. Stupid life. Stupid me. And I am stupid, for letting this take me over. I'm barely even fighting. I'm so damn over it all. It's like every day is a new battle, some lost, some won, but barely any feelings of victory if I do "win." I just don't want to fight anymore. :'( I know, I'm a loser, but........ :crying:

No news on the job. I've been told that I should probably call them just to see... but I'm scared. And I am being so ****ing lazy today, hardly doing anything... wanted to talk with someone so texted my sister about half an hour ago and no response. Ugh. So I guess I don't talk with anyone. And it's probably for the best as whomever I would talk with would probably try and convince me to eat but it's too ****ing hard, and I'm not going to fight like that. :( At least, yet... only X lbs to lose until I'm in a happier place.

I really need to go to sleep somewhere. My eyes are heavy and I've got a headache. :(

Sorry for all of the blather about me. >_<

*hides in the warren, curls up, & cries softly*

I just wanna curl up and cry.
Im sorry, please be patient.
One minute im fine and the next....meltdown

*curls up in a corner and cries* I don't want to do this

thanks for making me feel old :P *huggles*

Lex I'm sorry to hear about your Gran :( But you are not a **** up , you are just struggling to cope and thats understandable. *Hugs*

*Hugs April* You can call about your job , it would be a weight of your mind I reckon , you CAN do it :)

*Hugs Kat* Whats the matter ?

*Hugs Helen* Thanx for making me feel old too :P

*hugs everyone*

Dang I must be ancient... :P

No wonder you get confused. Silly systems. Thank you April, that means a lot to me :D Well she woke about half an hour ago, she's just being examined as we speak, will update when I know what she/her gran have been told :) *hugs*

*cuddles tight* I'm sorry things are so bad right now hun.

Sorry :P *huggles* You're not old :P

Sorry :P But you're not old either.

*hugs Lindsay*