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Thanks Louise. Am scared about something, but I think I found a way round it.
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*huggles everyone*
Hels: Thanks sweetheart. Feeling really down and my arm hurts. Just want to ... I don't know ... scream, shout, cry, and lots of other stuff but mostly give in to the bad stuff. *sigh* |
Kahlia. I love you, please don't hurt yourself.
Sleepy time now. Night all. xx |
*sighs and looks around the ward* so many people are struggling *sits* best not add to the list hmmm
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*hugs all*
I'm sorry I've not been posting in here much recently, I'm in a deep depression and everything is just ****. I could really do with some hugs right now, I'm really anxious about tomorrow, I'm going to the police station to a report a homophobic hate crime and I'm scared. |
i am okay
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Ummm you can call me Shad. :) I'm using that alias for this site. As for what's going on... My now ex-friend told me (basically) that I'd changed and she didn't think she could be friends with the new me. But I haven't changed... She started ignoring me and I got really angry and upset and called her immature.
We had an argument a couple of weeks ago and I started going into shock and crying and no one would let me leave. So at lunch, at school, I cut. It's almost healed now... Then awhile later, one of my other friends got involved (the one who held me against my will while i was crying ) and took her side and they called me pathetic behind my back, which another two of my TRUE friends were there to hear. One of them then yelled at the two that called me pathetic and came and told me. They've now got a teacher involved saying it's all my fault and that i'm pathetic, immature and they don't like me anymore. I keep crying in school. My mind runs over the memories of my two lost friends (we've been together for 4 yrs) and It's all I can think about. I keep telling myself that it's my fault. MY FAULT. And if I was.... I dunno not me in a way, we'd still be friends. Yesterday (Thursday) I cried almost all day. Everything would just start the tears and I kept yelling at myself to stop being so weak and pathetic, telling myself they were right...At lunch, after being free for a week and a half, I cut. I felt all my pain wash away. I WANTED the numb feeling and... I got it. I didn't cry for the rest of the day. The price? My freedom. I feel trapped again in that dark hole with no hands reaching to get me. Just sitting there in the dark waiting for some slither of hope's silver light. I feel so defeated. I fear I may not recover this time. I've only been on here a few days and I don't know alot of you but... Help. Please. I just want to stop the pain. I want to be free again. I need your help and your hugs and your kindness, if your willing to give it to this pathetic excuse for a 15yr old high school student. :crying: |
Hey Shad, my name's Felicia.
*hugs* That's happened to me with a lot of my friends recently. Feel free to PM me, I'm a good listener :) Sorry I'm being such a bad wardie guys. Today has been ****. And I may or may not be around much this weekend and next week. We'll see. If you'd like, facebook me or whatevs. Link's in my profile. |
*Hugs Louise*
*Hugs Felicia* *Hugs Shad* *Hugs Becca* *Hugs Oliver* Good luck at the police staion :) *Hugs Helen* Good luck at the Dr's :) *Hugs Julie* *Hugs Lia* *Hugs Kahlia* *Hugs all my other wardies* |
*curls up*
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You okay Julie? *Huggles*
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*shakes head* yea i'm fine
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NOBODY is a bad wardie, we're all struggling right now. Some of us more than others. That's how life goes unfortunately at times. But just because we can't support/do individuals because of said struggles, does NOT, make us bad wardies. So can we all stop beating ourselves up over that please? :( We're all here for one another, even if if hugs are the only thing we can manage.
*cuddles everyone* Hope the police goes okay Oliver. *cuddles* *hugs Mark* How you doing? Shad, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time right now. You will be able to give up self harm completely, it just takes time and nobody stops one day and never ever cuts again. Well some people might, but most people I've found have stopped/started with recovery and most go on to give it up completely. Julie, I don't think you are fine sweetheart. You know we've agreed not to say we're fine unless we really are :P I know you don't want to add to the numbers of wardies struggling, but it's okay if you are. We're all here for each other x |
i just... *sniffles* i'll be f... i...*sits in a corner and scratches*
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What's wrong Julie?
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Cuddles all. Sorry but I once again I got stuiped thoughts running through my head feel very unsafe. Got to listen to people bitching and talking bullshit. Just want to scream and say Fu@k off. Curls up and hides. Help please.
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I have an appointment at 12pm with Kat whom I have never had a proper appointment with before ( She does the accupuncture ) but she is really nice , I think it will be good to talk face to face with someone :)
How are you doing Helen? *Hugs* |
i maded a post
(it's not important) ...:notsure: not that important... |
*Hugs Jill*
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*Hugs Julie* I read your post , I'm sorry you are so low :( but you do make sense.
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