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Thanx for the hugs Crimson.
I just feel so worthless , nothing specific has triggered it so I don't know how to fight it . I HATE myself , I hate that I'm such a failure at life and it's all my fault , I hate having depression and just when you think it's getting better it hits you again and again . I hate that I've been trawling the internet looking for sleeping tablets and I'm not even scared . I hate the fact that I am socialy inept . I'm really sorry to rant at you :( |
I've got myself a cammomille tea , I'm not anxious though . Just numb .
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Good person to give that rant to cuz I know exactly what u mean... the other day I was even musing at the fact I am 28 and presently have no real friends. Not even people at work I talk with... Social Butterfly I am not. And I've been there for the rest of your sentiment as well... Just know that you are not worthless and we (all of us in the ward) all say so! We like you even when you don't :)
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Thankyou Crimson . I really don't know what to say , I would love to make it all better , for all of us .
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I spy an Oliver !!
Hows your hand this evening? |
hello all *cuddles* its better thanks.
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I would too... but then I'm afraid I'd lose you all lol. Geez that makes me sound like a loser... But I know logic says otherwise.
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Glad your hand is feeling better Oliver :)
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* waves at JK * Hows you this moring ?
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Morning all , ummm, sorry bout last night and thank you for all the hugs and stuff. Funnily enough cutting didn't help things at all, and today I am hungover and sore and things aren't miraculously all better *finds somehere quiet to sit and feels sorry for herself*
How you Mark? Hope you're not struggling so badly now love, you're a kind, caring bloke and we love having you around *blushes and cuddles* *hugs Crimson* you are very cool to have around here, you make me laugh and that takes some doing :) Oliver, hopefully your hand has settled down now, breaking up with someone does make you feel rejected and lonely and all those unhelpful feelings, please look after yourself, you are so talented and arty and lovely *blushes and cuddles* Laura honey, how you today? Hopefully you are being a bit more gentle with yourself x *sits quietly with Laura* Helen , I been praying for your friend, she is lucky to have you in her life, keep believing hun. BUT make sure you're looking after you too huh. *holds Helen in a big squeezy hug* Kahlia, I know you're struggling too babe, and I got you all mixed up last night about your 'friend' which was actually Helen's friend [after copious amounts of alcohol] so sorry about that. *looks sheepish and blushes again* .... *oh and cuddles of course* April, hope your talk went or is still going! ok. I'm sure you did great, you sound so smart and bubbly and lovely. Thanks so much for all your kind words, they do make a big difference *hugs tight* Nice to see you back Hayley, bummer about the ring :( but better than losing your finger :) Hope you're doing ok too. *looks around for Nicole and wonders how she's doing now* *sits in a wee corner and feels a bit dumb about it all* love to you all, I like it here ;) xx |
*finds JK and huggles back n sits with*
I'm glad I can make ya laugh. Laughing is good :) But periodically I am incapable of such things... but then I disappear or read and not reply. I am trying to keep more light and fun if not happy and less whiny and mopey and crap. We'll see how long it hold up... |
JK!! *waves and then pounces on* Lol... sorry. :) Just thought it might make you smile... so how are you doing?? No worries about the ranting last night, it's all good... and just wondering, but what's "flat white"? I've never heard of it before... heh. Might just be me being dense, if so, sorry. :-S Any plans for the day??
*cuddles Oliver* Glad your hand's feeling better. :) *cuddles Mark* You're not worthless or a failure or a **** up or whatever you feel like calling yourself... as JK said, you're kind and caring and I really appreciate having you around. :) I would definitely miss you if you stopped coming here!! or worse, died... :'( You're a wonderful person, and I wish that you could see that for yourself. *cuddles Crimson* I'm almost 22 (will be in less than 2 months, woohoo... lol) so not as old as you but I also have the issue with not being a social butterfly. I am a loner, really, just hang out with my best friend and can cope with other people at times, but it's really hard. Damn social anxiety. Damn generalized anxiety. Damn agoraphobia. Damn all anxiety!!!!!! :'( Sorry, that was rantish... but people here understand, I think? I actually didn't have to give my talk, we just split up into groups and practiced our introductions... it wasn't bad at all although I ended up SI'ing in class... which was really dumb, I'll admit, but it'll "come in handy" tonight in my night class when I need a distraction. I know that sounds horrid and I know that SI is not an "adaptive coping mechanism" but... I can't help it. :( EPIC FAIL. Just want to sleep, am so tired. :'( *hides in shame* |
*peeks*
I see an April! Tag your it! *runs away* |
*smiles and thanks Crimson for sitting with* I know hun, and normally that's me too tbh. *hugs*
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*cuddles April* Eh I don't even have a best friend anymore... Got hurt by her about 5 yrs ago and didn't even talk to her again till last fall... now we talk rarely and via the net only. I only spend time with family and extended family. ~family doesn't count as friends in my book~ *shrugs* Doesn't matter though I have my RYL friends and you guys understand me better than any of my IRL friends have anyway. :)
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*Yanks April away from her hiding spot and HUGS*
Don't worry I won't stop coming here , I'd be lost without you all here . You are not a fail April , and please look afer the cut well ok ? |
*cuddles everyone lots*
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Hey April, wow you've got to be fast around here!
I'm working today, and have my first appointment with my new psychotherapist ...*hides with April* You are NOT an epic fail, and you should NOT be hiding in shame ok? grrrr, that's JK growling at you [but in a nice "love ya" kind of way rather than real growling] *hugs April and heads off to deal with emails and meetings* xx oh and flat white is a posh way of saying coffee with milk..lol |
I better be heading off for a snooze I have an early ( for me ) appointment with my Psychologist tommorow morning .
Night night *Hugs ward mates* |
Night night Mark. *cuddles*
*hides & pretends she doesn't exist* |
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