:( *hugs* is there someone in oxford you can talk to apart from your aunt? i don't like you feeling rubbish by yourself :( and you wouldn't be happy...you wouldn't be here :( and we totally would notice, trust me! much love xx

no there's nobody. just me. i'm actually in the house along at the moment. i can't do this. i can't.

*cuddles everyone* sorry you're all having crappy times!

Sorry i don't have any individual replies, but i'm thinking of u all lots


I had a motivated day today, got lots of things that have been hanging over me for ages done... so yay for me!

Also me and my gf have talked over everything i was worried about and it's all in the open so thats good too.

love to all of you x x x

please don't. *hugs* go out for a walk, or watch a film or something, anything to distract you from feeling like this while there's no one around. thinking of you.

*hugs* imaginary ( is there something u'd like to be called?)

How did counselling go? weldone for going, thats great! How are you doing now? x x x

thanks jocelyn :) i thought i put my name in somewhere but apparently i didn't...lol i'm Laura :) *waves* hii! lol
it went ok i think...was only an assesment session but they seem to think they'll be able to help so that's kind of a relief. i don't she got the whole fact that i'm drinking far more than i should be but i guess i can talk about that in my actual sessions.
i'm doing ok at the moment....i'm going out tonight so i'm hoping to have a good time and get very drunk :) woop. lol i know, i know, its bad ... urgh. *wraps herself up in a duvet with a hot ribeana* yum :)

Hi Laura! Nice to meet you properly :-)

Weldone that sounds fab. Yeah don't worry about not telling her yet, im sure they're used to people not opening up immediately about everything, some people find that very hard.

Well its good you're going out with friends, make sure u keep safe, book a cab home before hand if u need to! And if u feel u can, maybe set a limit to how much you're happy to spend? This could proof very difficult though *hugs*

Have you been given a next appt or are u on a waiting list?

x x x

:) i have to wait for them to get back to me about an appointment...probably in the next couple of weeks is when i'll get my first proper one :) i'll try and limit how much money i take out with me but tbh, it's the drinking before i go out that always gets me...haha...working with a drink in hand. bad bad times. my essay is going to be fab. they all are! lol
i'm glad you've had a good day too :) being motivated is always fab, doesn't happen very often for me tho!
xx

Have a good time! Yeah me neither, its a huge rarity (sp!)

stay safe and have fun x x x

:) well, it's good today was a good day then! :)
thanks - will do :)
xx

*hugs everyone*

Well I haven't heard back from my tdoc - but to be fair the email was sent pretty late yesterday afternoon, and it's not even 7am yet.

The feelings are getting worse. I'm thinking of waking up my housemate.

I just don't know anymore. :(

*cuddles everyone and then returns to her dark corner*

If you're housemate will be fine with u waking them up do it sweety. Could u quietly creep into their bed (not trying to sound creepy or anything!) and gently put they're arm around u? this might wake them up a little bit to cuddle u back... idk

Du know why ur feeling so low? could u watch tv or something? *cuddles*

*crawls into the denial tent and cries*

*crawls after MammaMia and wipes tears* what's up sweetie? *hugs* x x x

Urgh long day...

*hides in dark dark corner*

:crying:

*hugs*

I can't do it anymore. I can't keep pretending. :'(

Shouldn't have gone out with my friends tonight. They really upset me (well upset me further) and I think I upset them :'( :'(

*hugs April* Sorry u've had a rough day.. wanna talk about it? x

*hugs mamma* have u tried talking to any of them? I know this can be hard but it might be better than trying to pretend, that doesnt do any good to anyone x x x

*cuddles Helen* I'm sorry it was a bad day... what about your friends upset you more?

*huggles Jocelyn* Erm yeah, it's just been a bad day, with wanting to purge & cut all day... talked a bit with a professor and he said that it was shitty that I had to think ahead so much... as in, I have to keep in mind that I could land up in hospital if I'm not careful with sleep/meds/cognitions, etc. I texted my NP this morning and she texted back this afternoon asking me if I needed to go to the ER... I was like "Um no..." lol... I hate the ER. I've been there 2x in 2 weeks, don't need to go again!! (although that was back in December)

*hides*

i've come home. thank you for helping me laura. i'm sorry if i worried you. i'm going to get into bed and try and wake up in the morning. see what happens.

I've spoken to a friend. Feel bit better now. I thought she'd called me fat on two occasions (I am fat though heh) which didn't help matters. Need to speak to the other one about tonight and the other night and then it'll be okay then :) Hopefully. Still have to pretend though.

I seriously need to purge and cut tonight :/ :(