Ashley , you've caught me in a very stressful and frustrating time of my life . How are you?

I'm sorry to hear that Mark :( *hugs*
Not doing so great either tbh, having quite a distressing time right now.

AR.

Oh I'm sorry Ashley :( *Glomps* We are here should you wanna talk about it :)

Hey Ashley. Welcome to the madhouse. I hope you enjoy your stay. ;-) Sorry to hear you aren't going so well. There's pretty much always someone around so feel free to talk/post, find yourself a comfy pillow fort/couch/corner/whatever and just chill around people who won't judge no matter what.

Hey big brother. Sorry that I haven't been around as much. D*mn uni assignments, hospitalisations and all the wheelchair stuff.... *big hugs*

Hiya Haile. Not sure how much has changed since I was last in here for anything much more than a cry in a corner or hiding from the world.

Uni assignment due on Monday and I only just finished getting it typed/drawn up on the laptop and will spend tomorrow ensuring that everything that is supposed to be there is there and that the page spacing makes sense. Fun. Next two days will be interesting and hell. On one hand trialing some wheelchairs and possibly a more suitable walker but Friday it's funeral followed by wake. Too many people lost already this year. *sigh*

The darkness is just trying to pull me in and it would be so easy to let go. I feel like I'm either invisible or the source of everyone's hatred.

*leaves tea, coffee, hot chocolate and brownies on the table*

*heads to her corner and cries*

Kahlia , You're not invisible and I sure as sure can be don't hate you *Hugs Tight*

I'm waiting on the crisis team coming round. It's such a waste of time, they don't listen to me. I tell them I'm not coping, I'm not sleeping, I'm literally not doing anything. My entire flat is a mess, I haven't done dishes in a week, I'm running out of clothes. I can't remember the last time I went shopping, I'm surviving on bread my mother gave me and tins of soup.
The crisis team are going to tell me the same thing they always do, I need to go out with friends (who?) or if I go for a walk I'll feel better, I don't think so. I think today will be my last visit from them.
I'm sorry to hear that you guys are also struggling. I wish I had a magic wand to wave and make all of our problems disappear. Kahlia, you are in no way invisible.
*grabs tea and a brownie*

AR.

This.

At least someone gets it.

AR.

I've been told that rubbish , Ashley.

Was told to "Get out there" by a psych , but not how.

How are you all today?

They tell you to do these things like its so easy. The nurse actually said to me I have lots of friends I could spend time with. I literally have 2 people I would call friends. They don't seem to understand that I don't speak to my friends or family about how I'm feeling all the time.
Been prescribed zopiclone so actually had some sleep last night. Other than that I feel upset but empty at the same time.
How is everyone else doing?

AR.

I'm sorry Ashley, it seems the same where ever in the country you are , the CMHT here is a joke.
My only friend has moved away yesterday. This town is dodgy as all hell. Don't drink but "Get out there"

Anyhoo, I'm still here.

Sorry I haven't been here in what seems like forever. I just can't keep up with things.

My youngest is sick. If it weren't for all of our experience with my middle child we would have been sent to be admitted. I've had like 3 referrals for her alone in the last 3 days. On top of the 7 people my middle sees and the 4 people my oldest sees. If I wasn't done adulting before I am so done now! To top things off, hubby is out of town and I had to pick the oldest up from school early because he felt like he was going to pass out.

*curls up with a blanket and pillow to take a nice long nap*

*waves*
Hello everybody, how's things?
I'm just hiding my brain here.

Sounds exactly like the CMHT in my area, it's like they don't listen. It makes me not want to open up to them. It's been over a month since I was d/c from hospital and I've still not been seen by the psychiatrist...

Hey I'm ok I think. I've been debating suicide alot lately I'll be fine though I always am. What's up with you?
side note does anyone have advice on getting responses from a thread?

Some threads are slow Haile ..... Sorry idk what to say .

Mind swimming.

I'm feeling so lonely at the moment. It feels like forever since I last spoke to my ex partner. I miss him so much, without him I spend all my time alone and have no one to speak to. Pathetic, I know.
I have an appointment with my GP on Monday to see if I'm ready to return to work. I need to go back because my sick pay will run out soon but I know that I'm not ready. If someone asks why I have been off I know I will burst into tears.
I just need someone to talk to.
How is everyone else doing?

just signed myself out of the local mental hospital A.M.A. at least two weeks before they believed I was realy ready to, by lying for the previous week all week long of course, and now im beginning to seriously question that decision....majorly tripping, and ive only been out not even 48 hours yet!

Hi Caiden , I'm Mark , How are you Today?

Hey Ashley ,you're not Pathetic hun , believe me , I am going through some major heart ache (Although different circumstances) so I kinda know how you're feeling . Feel free to PM me if you want to talk :)

How are you doing now Caiden? Do you have any follow up appointments?
It just feels pathetic, like yeah all my MH issues were already there but the breakup is what causing me to feel so bad. When I was admitted I felt like the nurses were laughing at me like, look at the stupid 24 y/o that OD'd cause her bf dumped her.
I think I will take you up on that offer Mark, thanks.

I'm a worthless coward.
*curls up under a bed* I'm safe for the moment. Too fried to do anything. Shall force sleep for safety.

You're not a worthless coward. I do the same, sleep for safety.
How are you doing now? I'm Ashley btw.

Neither od you are cowards .

I'm Annie. Welcome Ashley.
I am a coward and a liar. Phone call from the Partner saying his mum saw something suggesting I'm not happy in the relationship and was thinking of moving on on Facebook.
I had liked a friends post suggesting these things. I AM not happy with the relationship, and regularly think of running away. But because I'm not in a headspace to admit it to him, I told him I'd liked a friends post and that was all there was to it.
I don't think the relationship is salvageable. His new way of thinking is not compatible with my career or beliefs. I am starting to think he has borderline personality disorder but he doesn't believe in mental illness. I don't like the decisions he's made regarding our daughter.
But I'm not ready to leave him. And I can't talk it out with him because his mindset will confirm I'm betraying him because I'm brainwashed.
I'm a coward cos I hate conflict and therefore lied to him and said it was all good.
And because of this I'm triggered but not enough to overcome the calming of the meds, yet...
Thanks for the reassurance tho.

I'm gonna leave this jar of hugs here on the table.

I hurt.

*safe hugs for Mark*

im really angry today but no clue why...... i was angry last night too....

sorry you are hurting mark hope everything turns out ok...

i get that breakingup with someone can be hard annie. i just broke up with boyfriend. it was really hard for me to do but i feel better now that i went and did it. maybe think of how you will feel afterwards and explain to him how you are feeling. conflict is hard.....

*Offers safe hugs all round*

*grabs blanket and pillow and curls up on the big chair in the corner*
I need to stay in here today, keep safe. It's going to be a rough one, I'm struggling to see the point in fighting this any longer.
Hope everyone else is doing okay today.

I hope everyone is doing alright. Sorry I can't be more supportive right now. Life is just throwing me curve balls. Starting tonight my brother in law is staying with us. We'll see how that goes. I can't believe I said yes to that. Ahh.

I find myself needing to store my emotional brain here. Divorce it from myself when at work. And at home. Only way I cope.
* puts a platter of brownies on the table and starts making coffee and tea for everyone*

Oooo Tea , thanks :)

How are we all?

I'm not sure anything is making an imprint on me. I know I should feel something right now. But I don't. Maybe it worked. Maybe I put that bit of me into cyber space. I just feel pleasantly hollow. It's kinda nice. I wonder if it will hold under stress?
Let's see how this goes....
*passes Tea and brownies to Mark* I think all that means I'm ok. What about you?

I've been better . . . . Not been much worse really , one thing is keeping me going. The Tea helps though :) I'm off to listen to Taylor Swift . . . .

I badly need someone to hug me and offer words of support , this is getting far too much for me.

Hey all. Tea? Coffee? Dr Pepper?

I've been referred to DBT does anyone know anything about that? and for our age group too?

*hugs Mark* What's up?

Seems like coffee is never enough for me. I sleep like crap and have so much to do during the day.

Since it's chilly out here today... *places some warm soup on the table*

No experience of it but age won't come into it. Here's a link to a really useful site. My mht use it in their training for their workshops. Here's the dbt part. There is a lot of good suff on there about cbt and mindfulness too..http://www.get.gg/dbt.htm

Thank You , Margo :)

How are you all today?

I woke up just emotionally exausted . . . .

Haven't been on in a few days, how is everyone doing?
*places cake on table*

OH Wow , Cake! Thanks! How are you Ashley?

How are all my Peeps Today?

Awake. Sick. Flat. And yourself?

I'm struggling quite a bit today. I just want the sadness to go away.
How are you?

I'm here if you wanna talk Ashley , sorry if I fall asleep on on though.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) works well for some people, and is completely useless for others. Try it and see? It was useless for me but others I know really do benefit from it.

Sorry I've been absent for so long but things have been crazy here with OT and physio visits alongside wheelchair trials and organising domestic care and respite for hubby not to mention doctor's visits. Meh. So sick of being in a wheelchair and being no more than a burden on everyone. Just so dark right now that I'm certain there will never be light again. *sigh* Why do I even bother. No friends in this town, can't drive or leave the house on my own and, aside from all these appointments, no reason to get out of bed.

Trying to build myself up to go and do a food shop. The fact I have asked my younger sister to come with me is just embarrassing. I'm scared of seeing someone I know and having them ask about Christopher. I'm supposed to be back at work on Tuesday and I can't even go to the shops alone.
On a positive note I finally have a cpn appointment on Monday.
How are we all doing?

Not feeling very well at all today!
Been on a long weekend away with my fiancée.
It was a great weekend but I still wasn't feeling great.
Held it all together so we could have a good time.
There was stress with her car, only been driving a month, had to replace the alternator. I know how well we both did reassuring eachother and I managed to navigate us there and back well. So go me for that.
Anyway, took a sleeper last night to get myself rested,
Woken up today, feeling totally wacked out, and pointless and sad that she is back to work. The silly thoughts are creeping in so I've vacated to the bedroom for some reading and a nap.
3 weeks ago I relapsed badly (won't go into detail) but found out I've been suffering psychotic depression for months.
So I think this virtual psych ward is the best place for me today
Good luck with your food shop marshmallow. My food related challenge today is to cook fish pie for dinner. Mmmmm yum

I'm not up to much other than to say hey to you all and welcome Robyn , I'm Mark .

I ache inside.