*hugs mara* good night.

*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Mara*
*Hugs Mark*

Argh crap i feel so lonely :( i hate moaning which is why i tend to just not moan.

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Mara*

*Hugs Ian*

*hugs Ian*
*hugs Mark*

how are you?

*Hugs Laura* I just got cornered into a phone interview by the Jobcentre, hmmm Pretty Anxious now.

I hope it goes well, Mark.

I'm so stressed. I think I have to move on Monday but that doesn't give me enough time to get carpets put down and get the decorating done.

*hugs Lindsay* good luck with moving, hope you manage to get it all sorted in time

*hugs Mark* I hope the phone interview goes ok.

*hugs everyone*

Its international day against homophobia and transphobia today, just to let you all know :)

*Hugs Lindsay* Good luck with the Move Hun!

*Hugs Oliver* I didn't know that nibblet of information :)

*hugs Mark* how are you?

So excited about meeting up with Felicia . Bit anxious but hey , I thought Today was going to be bad after the tough morning but feel okay now .
How are you Oliver?

when are you meeting up with Felicia? I'm glad your doing ok.

I'm ok thanks, excited about my adventure on wednesday and thursday.

*Hugs Oliver* the end of July is when we meet in Swindon :) Whats your Adventure ?!

one exam down one to go.

hugs everyone

GO Louise! Hugs :)

*hugs everyone* Sorry I haven't read the last 5 days of posts...there's just too many to handle right now.

I've officially bought the house. We're half way moved in. We already moved the stuff from our storage unit so we won't have to pay for that anymore. My dad sent more money than I needed to get the armiore but I'm not gonna complain or argue since we need it. My sister in law is still causing trouble but even David got to the point where he said that she had 2 weeks to get her head from her arse or she's gone. He tells me we need her to stay financially but I pointed out that she has no job and with the way she's been I'd rather throw her out and get a second job if we actually need more income. *rolls eyes* either way i also pointed out that the apartment was in his name so his house but the house is entirely in my name not just me paying for it, so it is MY house. we'll see how it goes and how many more times i get called a bitch by the SIL... (i already pointed out that she ain't seen nothin'... i can truly be a bitch but I haven't thus far...)

On another note, why are people so horrible? My coworker's 15 month old son is in the ICU in a medically induced coma because his dad's gf abused him and shattered part of his skull...

*hugs Lindsay*
*hugs Oliver*
*hugs Mark*
*hugs Louise*
*hugs Crimson* people are cruel all the time, I don't know why though. I hope the baby is going to be ok.

*Hugs Crimson* You're NOT a bitch hun

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs Crimson* I really hope the baby will be ok, people are so cruel and I wish I knew why.

*hugs Mark* ooo that is soon, have fun. my adventure is taking a photo every 15 minutes of exactly the same spot in the countryside from midnight to midnight, so it involves sitting in the middle of nowhere being awake for over 24 hours!

*hugs Louise* good luck with your exam

*hugs Laura* how are you?

*hugs Mark Laura and Oliver* they said IF the baby makes it he'll be severely special needs because of it. :(

And mark, I can be when I put my mind to it. I usually try to be nice but she's worn down my last nerves. Everything has an excuse with her and it's always someone else's fault... *sigh* I still didn't get an apology for Sunday's debacle. Ah well.

*hugs Crimson* thats awful about the baby :(

I made it to the doctors. Told her about my suicide plan; she asked what it was, I said I didn't want to talk about it. I told her the date was going to be my 21st in two weeks, but that I've decided to give myself more time, and now I don't have a set date. She's worried about me and wants to see me every month. I can't even stick a form in to get a repeat prescription, I have to be seen. But oh well. I'm getting my old counsellor back towards the autumn also, but I'm not sure if I can hang on that long.

The doctor also gave me back my anxiety meds. She's going to change my anti-depressants when I'm a bit safer. Well she says when, I say if. :crying:

*hugs crimson*
*hugs oliver*
*hugs mark*

*Hugs MJ*

*hugs MJ*

today might possibly be on the list of my top 10 worst days of my life

*hugs Laura* What happened?

*hugs Crimson*
nothing much happened. I'm just generally feeling unwell.
And I decided that I'm not going to take the meds that my T prescribed me yesterday.

*Hugs Laura* Condier taking the meds hu ,I was worried that it would change me but they really don't.

*Hugs Crimson*

*hugs Mark and Laura*
Sorry I didn't reply for so long... I kept refreshing the page and for whatever reason didn't realize till just now that the next page had started. :/
Could you maybe try them for a month or so and if you don't like them be weaned back off of them?

*hugs mark and crimson*
the same thing happened to me crimson.. lol
I had my first appointment with a psychotherapist ever yesterday. six weeks ago I couldn't even imagine doing that and now I am supposed to take meds. I can't do it. It's all too fast.

*cuddles everyone, leaves teddy bears and non-calorie treats*

I <3 you all. Sorry I'm not around.

Just wanted to check in and say hi. x

*Hugs Crimson*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs MJ*

*hugs everyone*

I should be moving house next week so I won't be online as much. I'll go to the library to check in from time to time but i'll be so busy with the move.

*Hugs Lindsay* Good luck with the move :)

*hugs other Laura*
*hugs Lindsay* good luck with the move. I moved 6 times in the last 2 years, so I know all about the stress of moving. meh
*hugs MJ*
*hugs Mark*

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs mark*

How are you all doing?

*hugs Lindsay*

I'm generally confused.
how are you?

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sober and sykping Felicia :)

*Hugs Laura*

*hugs mark*

hey my lovelies, hope you're all well xxx

*pulls up duvet & snuggles into dark corner*

*hugs everyone*
*crawls in and goes back to sleep*
Can I just sleep until we're done moving? So far I am doing about 95% of the work... I can't just not do it though because when I try to say "I already packed xyz just pick that up and if you have room things in ~location 123~ are ready to go too" I get none of what I asked for... :(
On the semi bright side, I thought I'd be waiting a while for stuff from my gram's estate and my old h.s. stuff to be shipped to me but my dad has got 10 boxes packed and ready from her stuff and he'll start mailing tomorrow and all my old stuff is already packed up but he wants to clear out gram's place before mailing stuff from storage...good thing i have some extra space for stuff to go till i can unpack it all and sort it all.

Glad to hear you're sober and talking to Felicia, Mark. :) How are you aside from that?

Why confused Laura?

I'm really, really stressed. I don't know if i'll be able to move by the date that the council wants me to but I have already requested an extra week to move because they wanted me moved by Monday. I still have to get a decorator in, get carpets put down, and sort out a removal company. BT and Orange are also causing me stress because they're competing against each other to try and get me to take their calls and broadband package. I want to go with Orange, I think, because their broadband is unlimited usage but BT say that I will need a line put in my house and that they will do it for free but Orange will charge £60. BT are also offering the first 4 months of broadband free but Orange are offering me a cheaper package. I keep trying to tell BT that I want to cancel my order but they find another question for me to ask Orange.

*hugs Mara*
*hugs Crimson* sorry they are all so uncooperative
*hugs Lindsay* you can make a game about it. Just ask BT really weird questions till they give up?

*Hugs Lindsay*

*Hugs Laura*

*Hugs Crimson* Triggered , so f'ing triggered , alcohol usually numbs me but it was getting out of hand and I need to save up for Meeting Felicia this summer.

*Hugs Mara*

I wish I was a better wardie*

*hugs mark* you are a good wardie.

you are all good wardies.

*Hugs Laura* Thanks :)

*Bedtime Hugs my Wardies*

*hugs mark* good night

Mark you are a good wardie. good night hun x

So thought I'd bring you all hot water bottles, duvets, cookies, fruit & cake :-)

I am so tired, but I'm scared of sleeping - I have nightmares & I'm terrified - I can't do another night, plus I have a funeral tomorrow. *shrugs* show me the padded room please?