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Damnation. 14-05-2009 10:55 AM

D: *Hugs Kahlia*

And haaay...insomnia strikes back

Kahlia1981 14-05-2009 11:33 AM

Dayna ~ ahhhh the dreaded insomnia.

I ended up going out for coffee with a friend of mine. He bikes there and I catch the bus. It takes me a lot longer than it takes him. Unfortunately he can't afford to do anymore coffee's until he gets paid (about 2 weeks) but it made me feel better and allowed him to talk about stuff that is bothering him.

We are both looking forward to the start of semester at uni with trepidation. Him because he is starting a completely new degree (Law) and me because I'm hoping to add to my started degree with a degree in Business so I have a joint degree Business/IT. I don't find out for a week or so whether I have been accepted into the business components though.

I'm looking at a house tomorrow with the hope of moving out of this dungeon and closer to both my friend and the uni. It would make things a lot easier. Except for if I need to keep getting injections once a week. (My doctor is on the other side of town and my mother has been driving me there - but mum and dad are going on a round Australia trip and won't be here for like 12 months.)

I actually feel semi-calm. And I got off the bus at the correct bus stop. A big plus for me as I normally get off at the one before it. But oh well.

Kahlia1981 14-05-2009 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zowie (Post 1615571)
I'm getting that old familiar feeling where I feel guilty everytime I eat, whether it's a binge or not. Even eating a light lunch made me feel like I'm not even trying to lose this weight.

Arwen ~ I get this all the time. If you find a solution let me know. *offers hugs*

*offers hugs to all she can find in the ward and leaves blankets for those who find the air-conditioning a bit much and food for those who want it*

Damnation. 15-05-2009 02:33 AM

*Curls up in a blanket*

Kahlia1981 15-05-2009 06:01 AM

*cuddles Dayna*

Well I'm moving this weekend. Start living in my new place either tomorrow or Monday. *runs excitedly around the room*

Jetforce 15-05-2009 08:42 AM

*pops in and waves hello to everybody*

sorry, 4 not being around..just busy cramming in assignments and what not....ugh

Hope everybody is alrite there..*places chocolate cake on the table* xx

zowie 15-05-2009 09:24 AM

Quitting smoking's not going very well. I managed half of Wednesday and then most of Thursday. But on Thursday evening I got so desperate I phoned a friend and asked her to bring some baccy round.
Stupid.

CrazyHayley 15-05-2009 11:41 AM

Sorry I've been quiet the last few days....I think I got stuck in the smoking shelter?! Anyhoo have just read through what I've missed and my brain is so so crap that I can't retain anything, so for fear of upsetting or missing anyone one out......"GROUP HUGGLE!!!!"
*gathers everyone for a lovely squishy comforting group huggle*

ahh thats better....

Arwen, don't punish yourself for struggling giving up smoking. I am the biggest idiot going and didn't start smoking until I was 25!! That was done intentionally for all the reasons they tell you not to smoke.....now thats stupid! Then when I met my partner, his dad had died of lung cancer when he was a teenager, and so I felt very guilty and insensitive smoking around him. I gave up for a bit with the aid of patches....until he went to afghan and then I smoked again.....then I tried giving up again when he returned, but I got so desperately unhappy with my weight gain that I told him in January that I'd rather smoke and be slimmer than not smoke and be a chubalub. I really hope that when I start my therapies and am not quite so unstable I'll be able to quit again as logically I know its not good for me and a waste of money.....but at the moment logic doesn't prevail. Anyhoo, I don't know if any of this waffle makes sense, but I wanted you to know you're not alone in your struggle, don't beat yourself up over it.

*goes into corner and bangs head on pot plant*

CrazyHayley 15-05-2009 02:22 PM

Oh my goodness, just spoken to my supposed best mate who I've only seen twice this year and not spoken to properly since march. I'd emailed her explaining why I've withdrawn and am finding things so difficult on monday just gone. So I thought maybe this was her phoning to see how I was doing, apologise for not putting in any effort with me and finding out what was wrong sooner. Silly me, it was of course to see if I wanted to go out drinking tonight!!! She then told me I'm not as nuts as I think I am and to pull myself together. I told her she's not inside my head!!!! I don't tell everyone how I'm feeling. So she then told me off saying I should, and I was like, hello?! I'm trying, hence going to dr and psychologist. She then said yeah ok cos I guess you can't talk to Eoghan (pronounced Ewan - my partner) cos he's not that deep. OH MY ****ING GOODNESS!!! How dare she say that about him?! Raaaaa!!!!!!

Sorry to rant in here, I don't really want advice or anything on it, so no point starting a thread, but I'm just so.......Argghhhh.......that I thought I should come in here and stay safe.

Eclectica 15-05-2009 03:29 PM

Dad's birthday today...

We miss him...

zowie 15-05-2009 04:08 PM

*Hugs Hayley and Eclectic*a*

Thanks Hayley, I haven't really got any reason to quit other than my health and lack of money. My dad's an ex-smoker and now really hates smoking. So I guess quitting is partially for him too. I'm also really scared about the weight gain that sometimes follows when you quit smoking, when I managed to go a week I had a serious craving for sugary foods!

I want to go to the pub. Now.

Eclectica 15-05-2009 04:27 PM

*Hugs zowie*

My friend and I are quitting for our birthdays. Her's is 8 days after mine. Just got to keep thinking... You'll have much better health!

Steel Maiden 15-05-2009 04:34 PM

*hugs all*

I'm on six hour leave, and on the internet again. Just went shopping for stuff to take back to the hospital.

Hm.

Keep going all of you.

I'm struggling -.-

The Fantastical 15-05-2009 10:52 PM

Keep me safe guys. I'm scared of what I might do. I can't control my mind. I feel like I'm losing the battle. :-(

Damnation. 16-05-2009 01:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyHayley (Post 1620104)
She then told me I'm not as nuts as I think I am and to pull myself together. I told her she's not inside my head!!!! I don't tell everyone how I'm feeling.

She then said yeah ok cos I guess you can't talk to Eoghan (pronounced Ewan - my partner) cos he's not that deep. OH MY ****ING GOODNESS!!! How dare she say that about him?! Raaaaa!!!!!!

Sorry to rant in here, I don't really want advice or anything on it, so no point starting a thread, but I'm just so.......Argghhhh.......that I thought I should come in here and stay safe.

Ugh, what the ****?! Talk about bloody insensitive! *Hugs* And as for ranting in here, don't apologise, tis what's the place is for!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eclectic*a (Post 1620251)
Dad's birthday today...

We miss him...

*Cuddles* Not sure what to say tbh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steel Maiden (Post 1620401)
*hugs all*

I'm on six hour leave, and on the internet again. Just went shopping for stuff to take back to the hospital.

Hm.

Keep going all of you.

I'm struggling -.-

*Hugs* You keep going as well, Oly. I mean it when I say that you're a strong and brave woman

* * *

@__@ Triggered here, and keep going spacey again. Was alright to begin with, but mood dropped for now reason

Biba 16-05-2009 04:28 AM

sits by the window looking out.. i dont care if i never come out.. in here im in a world within a deeper world i close the door on you to.. i dont want to see or hear any one.. i just want to sleep and look out the window when i wake.. thats not much to ask for.. just peace away on my own.. maybe il feel stronger.. and leave when i know .. that the door beyond these walls will close behind me and i can return to were i should be.

Steel Maiden 16-05-2009 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Damnation. (Post 1621440)
*Hugs* You keep going as well, Oly. I mean it when I say that you're a strong and brave woman

* * *


@__@ Triggered here, and keep going spacey again. Was alright to begin with, but mood dropped for now reason

Thanks so much Damnation (sorry I forgot your name -.- ), I do try to keep going.

Nearly got my leave taken away for telling a nurse I wanted to buy solvents. Me = idiot with a big fat mouth ~_~

Hugs to you Damnation, depressed moods suck and spaceyness sucks too, but I know you can get through it.

wildly insane 16-05-2009 10:20 AM

wow, busy friday night in the ward as usual

*jumps on Jem and SteelMaiden for big hugs* look after yourselves

Hiya Lucy, there's a nice view from the window here, and the seat is very comfy

*hugs Dayna* hoped the spaciness passed without causing too many problems

*hugs Myself* keep fighting, do you want to talk about it?

*hugs Kat* god luck trying to give up smoking and hope you are ok.

*hugs Arwen* we all know how difficult it is to stop smoking especially with our own self-destructive tendancies, but keep trying cos each one you don't smoke helps.

*hugs Hayley* I can't believe your friend said that I think I'd have put the phone down on her, hope you are okay, rant rant away, best place for it :)

*hugs Kahlia* good luck moving am excited for you, hope things are going ok.

*hugs secrets* hope you are ok.

*hugs anyone else needing one*

I'm ok, need to get my arse in gear today, get things done so I can enjoy a day out tomorrow. Thought I wanted a night in last night and I think it would have all been fine if it hadn't been for half a bottle of wine and talking on msn with a friend of mine who wants to have sex with me but as a bit of fun with no intention on leaving his girlfriend. I am worth more than that, I am :( Anyway like I said, I'm okay, just a bit blue, and tired.

*hugs again*

zowie 16-05-2009 11:31 AM

Thank you for the hugs eclectic*a :)

*Hugs Oly back* Hope you enjoyed your leave. Are you still struggling?

*Hugs Myself* (Hah. That sounds like I'm hugging me :P) You can stay in here as long as you want. Rant as much as you like, that's what this place is here for :)

*Prepares a bed for Dayna* I find when I'm spacey that it really helps to just lie down and close my eyes. Don't know what works for you though...

What's up Lucy? You're obviously having a hard time, want to explain and talk about it?

*Hugs Hannah* You definately are worth more than that and I'm glad you know that. Alcohol + MSN isn't always a good idea really, I can see why you feel a bit blue.


I'm going up to a pub close to my house to ask about bar work. My gran's friend recommended me and he said I'm welcome to come in for a chat about a possible job. This feels good, I'm good at interviews, but I think I have a good personality (at times) and an informal chat will be easy. I really hope this leads to something, I want to work behind a bar and this pub isn't too far away (nor is it a dump!)
Okay, wish me luck guys :) xxx

Steel Maiden 16-05-2009 12:03 PM

Wildly Insane and Zowie (sorry forgot your names =_= ) thanks for the hugs. I am actually still on leave and will be until 4pm. I am still struggling but my doctor is very liberal on leave as she wants me to integrate back into society.

*hugs wildly insane and zowie* and good luck zowie on the interview.


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