*hugs Katie* - Thanks hun.

Everyone keeps telling me that I'm looking better and must be feeling better ... but I feel like I am crumbling to dust and so hurt and depressed inside ... no better, just getting worse. *sigh*

*Hugs Helen*

*Hugs Nicole*

*Hugs Crimson* I read your R/V , You are not a bitch ! NOT NOT NOT

*Hugs Lia*

*Hugs Ian* It's good to have another bloke about , it's been Oliver and I for a while , now theres 3 !!:)

*Hugs Kaytee*

*Hugs Kahlia* I;m so sorry you feel so low :(

I just phoned my Mum , Aparently both my Dad and my Sister think I've gone all manic since our bereavment . I'm SO trying to keep busy ,I NEEDED new shoes for winter so I bought some in the Sale at Millets with my Birthday Money , and I bought my aunt and Uncle Christmas presant yesterday , Cheese and Wine :)

I just wrote my Dad a text saying " If you want to come up at lunchtime I'll make you a cheese roll" and then I deleted it , SO ****ING STUPID!!!!!!!


Is anyone about ?

My trousers ripped last night .........wonderful! (Sarcasm)

Now I've been told I'm Manic I FEEL MANIC , I took a diaz , I haven't been taking them , perhaps I should have been , thats what they are for .

*Hugs Julie* How are you Julie ???????? Sorry Owen , I didn't spot it was you , how are you?

Oh Kahlia, I'm sorry your feeling like that :( It's frustrating though I know.. *cuddles* if you need anything at all.. I'm here.. hang in there chick. *cuddles tight*

Hey Mark (OMG I still think Adam or have I got it wrong? *hides in embarassment*, I'm here..

Hey Owen.. how are you tonight?

Kaytee*Hugs* I'm Mark yes :)

I feel like screaming and punching things , even going down to the police station and putting a stone though their window just so I'd have someone to fight and usually I hate confrontation , I HATE this , I'm not neeting my nurse until 3.15pm , SO SO SO SO Angry , I can't make myself cry :S I texted my friend but she often leaved her phone in a different room from herI wrote a message the online RYL support , I DON't know what to do .

My Grandmas Funeral is set now, 18th.

Kaytee , you okay there?

*hides* i say i wanna fight but i am supposed to be doing an assignment on where i wanna be in 10 years time, but i can't see myself being here in 10 years time, i can't even see myself being here tomorrow :'( *cries*

*HUGE HUGS For Nicole* You WILL be here tomorrow , you just have to take tiny baby steps hun, and we all will be here every baby step of the way, I'm still sorry you feel so **** though :(

Not really Mark.. Is there anything else you can do that you can take some of that anger out? Got a punching bag or anything similar? Or anything you can do that won't cause harm? *hugs*

*hugs Nicole* Yes, baby steps all the way. It is hard to look that far though.. just.. think of things you like to do and what you've always wanted to do. I hope you'll be okay x

Kaytee , I took 2 Diazepams and they've kicked in so I'm calmer now ,I am actually a bit zonked heh , But I was freaking angry before so this is better .
Do you want to talk about whats bothering you?

Glad your feeling calmer now :) Look after yourself though okay? :)

Ugh, I don't know, just all over the place at the moment, mainly struggling with my ED and just... yeah. I don't even know what to say really, but thanks for asking. I'll be okay.

Is anyone about?

I'm here if you're still around Mark

*Hugs Kahlia* I'm getting angry at nothing and everything again , I'm going to take another Diaz soon I think if I don't calm

EDIT:- Took one

*hugs you back* - That's not good hun. Is there something safe you can do to help keep you calm?

Is the anger directed at anything in particular? I know you have not had a good time lately but I'm trying to think of some suggestions other than those that Katie suggested such as punching pillows and other soft things.

Hopefully that diaz will settle you down some Mark, but please let us know how you are going.