Sounds like a plan Nicole ! and like JK said keep yourself busy until Monday , it should be nice weather so you could go outside :)*Hugs*

*Hugs JK* Good Morning. Flat White ! thats what I drink! .

I started playing runescape again , not sure if I'll continue , my head is full of stats now , and quests ! I missed quests .Am I the only runescapee here? you are all WoWers aren't you , you know that's the darkside :P

I'm off to bed so I can get up early then sleep ok tommorow night so I can get up early on Monday for my ENT appointment at the hospital several towns over . (Make Sense?)

thankyou guys :D once my brother has his bath, im gonna get in, spend a coupla hours in there lol, then go to bed :D

*cuddles everyone lots*

Laura, how you doing?
JK, I'm kinda okay.

Ugh my friends are still being nobs :P Worried about the besties. Dreading tomorrow. Nicole, I think it was you whom asked when my birthday was? 7th March =)

yeah it was me lol. cool :D mines friday :D sorry your friends are still playing up :( whats happening tomorrow hun?

Oh exciting :) They'll talk to me tomorrow I'm sure. Six years since I had a miscarriage. One of my closest friends is doing something really sweet for me, for her, on Wednesday :')

aaaw im so sorry hun. hope you're ok now??

No? Not really? Well I'm hanging on my good mood at the moment. But slowly getting upset, because I know Sunday's nearly an hour away.

*cuddles all*

Am not in the best place ever at the moment... am feeling so socially anxious right now, I don't really know how to explain it. My bestie is out doing stuff with her group of friends, and everyone is telling me that I need to make more friends, get out there more, etc... but I can't, I just can't, I'm too scared and too much of a coward. Literally, this is what I do every day:
- get up, do my morning stuff, play WoW for awhile and maybe chat to a friend or two on there if they're on
- go to uni/tutoring, talk to people in class if they talk with me first
- come home, play WoW with Jarrod, chat with friends if they're on
- eat supper
- take shower/bath
- go to bed early (7:30-8pm)
And that's my day. It's going to change a bit with a job, I know that, but still... I don't have a group of friends except a bunch online, and those apparently "don't count," because opening up via text is a lot easier than with words. And I can be in my apartment whilst doing so. I used to have a group I hung out with, my 4-H group, but we've all gone our separate ways. I don't know. I don't party, never have and probably never will. I'm so lame.

:crying:

I don't know... I would be better off dead...

*cuddles everyone* I keep coming in here, reading everything and then not having time to reply because I have a rehearsal or a meal I have to dash to, so I apologise for the lack of individual replies, but I send lots of cuddles to everyone.

I've been busy today, 4 rehearsals, evening one was cancelled and its tough work, especially when you are principal of your section, but the music is good, although very hard.
Bee to the pub tonight with people from course, played darts with a couple of friends, found out I am rubbish at it, but never mind, few conversations going on and that I was expected to join in with that made me feel really uncomfortable, but I am getting by at the moment.

Updated r/v thread...

:crying:

*hugs april* if it makes u feel any better, people tell me i need to make more friends too... I hide out in my apartment a lot b/c of anxiety... so, ur not alone in ur feelings.

*hugs helen* Im sorry about tomorrow.. I hope your friends are supportive. Try to hold onto that good mood as long as possible.

*hugs oliver* Im glad that your getting by right now. Sounds like ur really busy!

*hugs JK, nicole, and mark*

.... I dont really have much to say about myself...

Thanks Laura. It's just that I feel so alone, IRL, because I (obviously) don't have anyone else that has social anxiety... :( But thank you. *cuddles* How are you feeling??

*cuddles Oliver* I'm glad that things are going okay so far... keep hanging in there and coming on here when you can!! :)

*cuddles Mark* Sleep well, sweet dreams... wish I could go to bed now but it's just hit 6:15pm and that's too early... I'd wake up at like 2am and be unable to get back to sleep if I went to bed now. Heh. I hope your ENT appt goes well (what's ENT stand for?). Er and yeh, I think you're the only Runescape player here... hehe... there's only two of us WoW players, though, so it's not like there's a ton of us. :P

*hugs Nicole* Glad to hear that you're doing so well. :D Just keep swimming, just keep swimming... lol. :P

*huggles Hels* Awh, I hope that tomorrow goes by so quickly you won't even really notice it being there... but if it doesn't, we're here for you all the way, love. Do you have any plans of ways to distract yourself tomorrow?? (er, today I suppose, since it's just hit midnight over there, right?) *more cuddles*

*hugs JK, Crimson, Kahlia, & Hayley* How're you all doing? :)

*hides*

It's actually 11.56pm here, so turns into Sunday in 4 minute's time.

Online friends do count...well to me?

*cuddles everyone*

I need my best friends && guess what? Nobody's here :'( Jade promised she'd try really really really hard to be online tomorrow & hopefully she'll be able to. But I really am doubting it. Cruel. Gemma's not been on all night. Hopefully she'll be round at some point.

Got to see in midnight alone :(

*curls up and rocks*

3 minutes to go now :'(

Sorry. :'(

Also April, you would not be better off dead =(

*holds helen tight* You can make it through this hun. Hang in there.

*hugs april* I know its hard when u feel alone. And I agree with helen that to a certain extent online friends do count for something. *finds your hiding spot* - if ur allowed to find me when im hiding in the ward im allowed to find u lol.

*cuddles Laura tight* Thank you. Don't feel too bad at the moment..

How are you feeling?

Not very well right now.. I'll be fine though, I can be whoever people need me to be.. and right now ppl need me to be okay... so I am.

Awh Laura, that shouldn't be how it works. :( You need to be YOU... I understand the feeling to need to feel fine (if that was understandable... heh), for other people especially - I get that a lot. But I've learnt that it's not the way that things are supposed to go. I don't know how to explain it really, it's just not right. It's sweet in a way, but it's also messed up... sorry, I'm not being very coherent. It's just past 9pm here and I am utterly exhausted, so words elude me. :( But please, talk about how you're doing? *cuddles*

*cuddles Hels* I would too be better off dead, no one would really miss me. I'm a shitty wife and Jarrod would be best off with someone who doesn't have my issues... we had an "argument" tonight that wasn't very good... I don't know, I just want to be dead. And that's that. :( How're you doing? planning on getting some rest soon? ♥

*cuddles everyone else*

Mark: *big hugs* Before I answer your question I just want to say something. SI is a battle that you will continuously face. If SI wins, that doesn't mean it's won the war. If you SI once during the day, how many times did you not SI during the day. Yeah, the course was really interesting. A barista is someone who makes coffee in places like cafe's and restaurants. We learnt how to make espressos and lattes yesterday. A lot of fun.

*huggles everyone*

I'm going out to my parents place in a bit ... they are picking me up. I kind of want to go, but I kind of don't. See it's hard in some ways because of a) my illness and b) my smoking. I have to leave the "main group" to be able to have a smoke - or not smoke. And if I don't smoke I start to get stressed and then begin to feel unwell (in regards to my MH).

Meh, I really don't know anymore.

Anyway I just wanted to drop you all a line to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and to send you some hugs. If anyone wants an espresso or a latte let me know. :-D

*cuddles everybody then slips into the smoking shelter for a quick smoke*

hugs everyone sorry

I haven't been here in a while. life has been so chaotic the last few months. I'm back at my dads for spring break. its weird not having my grand father around. this town reminds me of how close we were and it kills me knowing hes gone. its been five months sense he died; I haven't been here sense that time and it feels empty and lonely. On top of that I found a drawing I made in Art for my grandfather I was suppose to give it to him for Christmas I cried for a long while after ward.

we moved it to a bigger house about a week ago the one we lived had no hot water or a heater so winter was hard until my teacher called DHR. It was not my mom fault that we had to live in the crappy house(our old landlord sold the house out from under our feet) the house we are living in now is 3 bedrooms (so no more sleeping on the couch)and is so much better then the other.

school sucks on top of all the moving I have research papers and term test till the end of school.

I AM TIRED. emotionally. Physically and spiritually TIRED. If I had the ability to stop time and rest I would.