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ok i'm going to try to catch up some...
*hugs hayley* you definitely should celebrate 11 months still! *throw confetti* Its good to hear from you too! Im glad you are feeling better! *cuddles helen* How r u doing today? *hugs mark* I hope that you were able to distract yourself. I'm sorry that you are feeling so poorly today *hugs april* sorry that you are feeling so tense hun. Im glad to hear that you didn't cut last night though. Its hard, but keep trying to fight those thoughts. Good luck doing your write up. I hope that if you decide to go to your church thing you have a good time. How else r u doing today? Ooo and I spy you! *squishes JK* Hey! its nice to hear from you! Hope that you managed to get to sleep okay. *hugs kahlia* Im gonna try to catch up reading your thread later today. Hope that you are doing alright. *hugs kat, lindsay, taz, crimson, hannah, heather, oliver (wherever you are..), julie and everyone else* and *waves at the new people* Hi! I'm laura! To everyone that said they were worried about me - please you dont need to worry. I never really do anything too bad. I feel like i have been spiraling downward lately but it has to stop eventually right? Thanks though. I really appreciate you guys and its nice to know that i am cared about, even if i cant see you guys in real life.. wish i could sometimes. I had training #2 for work today. Hopefully the real work days will go better, i have a hard time working when someone is watching over my shoulder the whole time so i made a lot of mistakes.. stupid anxiety was thru the roof. I'm home now tho, so hopefully the anxiety will decrease soon. |
*cuddles everyone* no epic responses tonight *rubs eyes* so tired from just reading and I have to go get sleep. I ache after too much gardening today! I so need a gardener, and some homehelp, I just cant cope with this place, it's too big! Going to let the others have their say as i've had them locked up all day with all my barriers and stuff well up because my mother was here.
The following content has been hidden - Reason : Altars posting, long and uncontrolled.
EDIT: decided upon reading it to hide that, got a lot more than I bargained for. sorry guys. |
*hugs kat* your last response was pretty epic! It was impressive. :-) and we really appreciate you taking the time to try to reply to everyone. I hope that you can get some rest tonight.
*waves to rosie, amy, 'miel, and sarah* (i dont know if any of u like hugs so i thought i'd be careful and just wave for now) I wish i knew what to say.. I know so little about alters... No need to be sorry though. Its prolly good to let them get their feelings out too. *sets out a box of hugs for those who want them* |
*Finds empty comfy place and sits* I have returned to the place where for the most part I feel like I am a valued friend and person.
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*Waves to anarchistl0ve* How are you today?
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Could be better, Learned soemone I called a best friend for 7yrs does not feel the same way. She told someone else she calles a best friend that shes engeged i found out via some happy mass message on her status update.
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oh , I;m sorry to hear that , *Hugs if ok*
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Crickey I better be getting to bed , I'l; try and have a better day tomorrow , go out and buy the correct dressings ......... if the chemists is open on a Sunday . I Want to Harm , I want to harm seriuosly , but NO!! I'm going to bed and sleep and that is that
" Asleep is the safest place you can be" - Biffy Clyro. |
thanks *hugs to you too* be strong
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Argh!!!! This keeps getting better and better not, was
told somthing yesterday that was hard to take and hear. bloody hell why now, after 2 months. really can't go back to that place, it was so messed up and crazy. Crap not now. =[ |
*sits in corner*
rawr |
Rawr indeed. *nods*
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*huggles/waves at all*
Firstly, welcome and welcome back to the new faces and to those who haven't been in here for awhile. Secondly, sorry for the length of the post in my thread that I linked to - but you can see why I didn't try to repost as much of it as was relevant in here ... would have made it way too long. Thirdly, I'm just stopping by for a quick read so my apologies for not giving you all individual replies, but I want you all to know that I have been reading and am thinking of you all. |
Aww thanks for thinking of us even if it isnt deeply personal. Just knowing I am cared for means alot to me lately<3
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hi anarchistl0ve i'm julie
welcome |
How are you doing Becca? *offers hugs if that's okay*
Hey Julie, how are you doing hun? *big hugs* |
i'm f--e.... just f--e :notsure:
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Kahlia hugs are always welcome. I am a little better not perfect but better
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Julie: *hugs*
Becca: Sometimes all we can wish for is to be a little better. A little better today than we were yesterday. *huggles* Just dropping in quickly to say that I got my assessments back and I have successfully completed both of the subjects I attempted. I have therefore passed Stage 1 which I only started on Wednesday last week lol. Woot!! *leaves hugs and safe care packages for all on the table* |
*Plops into computer chair*
Good morning , afternoon , evening everyone :) Way to go Kahlia!! Congratulations on completeing your first 2 sections :) Proud you should be :) *Hugs Anarchitsl0ve* *Hugs Julie* *Hugs Wolfos* Hugs Heather* *Hugs Shadowedsoul* Hmm I don't know how my day is going to go yet today, optimispic smiley face !! :-) |
thanks for the hugs guys
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*cuddles all who want cuddles*
wow there has been 12 pages since I was last in here, I've been away on an orchestra course with no internet for a week. I shall catch up with stuff at some point, but atm I am too sleepy to concentrate. |
OLIVER!!! welcome back man *hugs super tight* i missed u *hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**h ugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs*
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*hugs Julie back* I've missed everyone in here too,
I've sort of skimmed read through the pages I have missed. Nice photos April, looked like you had a good birthday and that certainly is a beautiful cello, have fun learning it. |
HEEE *hugs Oliver* Welcome back !! :-)
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good to see you oliver, missed you! *Huggles*
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kat who r the new alters on ur sig
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Search me hun! I just opened myself up a few months ago and I've been leaving things open..and these two have appeared.. I think Lotty is something to do with Rosie, she's mentioned her before and I think she was out last night talking to jack. Jess is an older girl, quite sensible, very clued up about the system, but really impulsive... I'm not sure but she's mentioned being friends with Amy..
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*nods* jess talk to me seems nice
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we gots new as well *points* hannah...
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sorry guys need to vent.
okay how stuiped do you think iam, did you think I would belive that for a sec. What after 2 months, yeah right you only said that because you knew I would end up being told. What were you expecting me to jump for joy,say oh okay that's all right then, what you put me through is all forgiven. The thing is I don't think you have been and saying sorry means noithing, like my mum says saying sorry is easy, it's so easy to say sorry, but I don't think you ment it, I think it's what you want me to hear. I hate you, you messed me up even more than I was. sorry long rant |
Well say hi to hannah for me amy. I'm going to let jess back on later, but she scared off one of my friends on Msn, so she's in trouble at the moment.
*huggles jill* (hope i have your name right, sieve brain) I spy wolf. Sorry, do know your name but I forget... anyway, we havn't met. Hi, I'm Kat, and that lot vvv are my alters...all nice enough i guess, except shadow. |
So I have spent 1pm - 4pm in bed in an effort to not cut , it worked but I stll feel low , and not just run of the mill "A little blue" I mean full on slipping into a depressive episode and I can't stop it low , sorry
I don't want to be super-depressed again , I can't take it , I CAN'T , What am I going to do? , I 'm just gonna have to smile through the next month as its my parents birthdays so on gos the mask . I Can't take being depressed again :( |
*jumps on oliver* Hey!!! We've missed you in here!!! Glad to hear that you're alright. Hope you had a good time at the orchestra course.
*hugs julie* How r u today? *hugs kat* It's probably good that you are leaving yourself open so that you can learn more about your system. How r u doing today? *hugs jill* wish i had more words for you. But if venting helps, there is no reason to be sorry about it, we are here to listen and help one another. *waves to anarchistl0ve and wolf* Hi! I'm laura. Nice to meet you. *spots heather in the corner* why r u rawr-ing? heh. *hugs* *hugs kahlia* congrats on finishing stage 1! *hugs mark* It sounds like you are having a rough time right now. I'm sorry that you feel like you are slipping into a major depressive episode. Its good that you avoided SI-ing though. Can you tell anyone that you feel like you are becoming more depressed so that maybe they can help? Putting on a mask is hard to do :-/ Remember, we are all here if you need us. First official day of work... anxiety is through the roof. AH! i hate that i have to feel like this. |
*Hugs Laura * I hope you have a good first day at work and that your anxiety (GRR) doesen't play to big a part in your day . :)
I don't know who to tell , I am in the place of not trusting my proffessionals , I don't feel comfy talking to most of them :( I'm glad I can talk to you guys though . |
did anyone else spend the morning cutting poop-cakes off of their dog's butt?
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*hugs all*
I'm really anxious, have my end of year recital tomorrow, stressing slightly, but going to have a relaxing night tonight and try not to think about it. |
Best of luck with your end of year Recital Oliver!!! I bet you'll knock them out :-)
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It's so early , 8.30 pm but I can't take much more of this , bad thoughts , BAD!! want to harm , so to bed I'll go , Pain Killer first as I have an Headache ( Because being depressed just isn't enough sometimes )
*Leaves bundles of hugs and fairy cakes on the ward table* Night night :) |
Thanks for the luck Mark. *hugs you lots* I'm sorry your feeling bad, keep yourself distracted from the bad thoughts, I hope sleep helps.
I spy April!! *glomps* |
*crawls in and curls up in a heap in a corner sobbing* Dont want to do it anymore
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*Slinks up to Kat and Hugs* whats the matter :(?
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As for my big plan of sleeping it all better , well it's not working , thats what happens if you spend all day in bed practically , I just eat a bowl of cereal, , maybe having something in my stomach will help me sleep in a bit , I took a Diaz and all my night meds, not even tired hmm, maybe the bad thoughts need doing , maybe I need to harm , again , to sleep , it's coming up to 10 pm (sort of) , I hope it's not gonna be one of those nights where I just get up and cut just to sleep, I would like to sleep though , I'm rambling so will stop , sorry.
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it's all gone so wrong.
he's got the kids, and phil might be there and hazel and..*sobs*i cant even think coherently |
-frowns- wat wrong
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*breathes* let me do this in stages...
The following content has been hidden - Reason : TRIGGERS Sexual assualt,adult,OH and LONG.
P&D have a habit of running. I've just spent an hour on the phone to Police and s and J. and am so frazzled, my heart is racing, my hands are shaking, heck my whole body is quivering. My teeth hurt from being clenched. I'm frightened. I hear a car driving madly and I panic..J is at work right now. and Hazel is really restless, so I spent an hour chasing hazel back to sleep every 5 mins, followed by an hour of digging up stuff i'd really rather forget and without any warning. sorry, so long :S :( I had to get that out. |
hey guys, sorry havent been on in ages, not had the time. hows everyone been? im feeling pretty **** tbh :(
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*points up at previous thread* can't. write. again.
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*huggles/waves at all*
Sorry in advance for the lack of individual replies. Kat: From what you have been though the fear reaction and what you are going through now are understandable. I know that doesn't make it go away. You don't want other people to go through what you went through, and that is really showing. My instinct was to offer you hugs, but I remembered that when my memory dredges up stuff from my childhood SA I can't stand to be touched, so I thought I would ask you first. I wish that I could offer you more sweetheart. This sounds like a very scary situation for you. I'm going to send you some *calm and warm wishes* that you will get through the next hour, and then the next hour and so on. Please try and hang in there sweetie. |
*hugs kahlia* thanks lovely, cuddles are okay, welcomed and needed. I just wish I could calm down, i'm so...well spiked.
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