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Sugar and Spice 12-03-2008 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lifeisabitch (Post 622569)
And as for me...apparently I have BPD. Well, yes. What a surprise that is eh? hmmm And also I apparently self medicate with alcohol which makes things worse and my drinking may perhaps be out of control along with the self harm. His solution: refer me to The Olive Tree (apparently a special unit for people with personality disorders), psychology, double my AD and offer me anti anxiety medication. Problem: 12 month waiting list for psychology, AD makes me feel spacy, he's not sure how long Olive Tree waiting list is and I don't think I suffer from anxiety.

My counter solution because I am oh so responsible and capable lol= go out and get very drunk.

*big big hugs* My thoughts are with you hun. I hope you are doing relatively ok xxx

effervescence 12-03-2008 08:47 PM

*wakes up and crawls out from under a blanket in the corner of the denial tent*
morning peoples. i missed uni this morning. heeheehee.....what a slippery slope i am on! it is FINALLY thursday so am finally getting to see my new counsellor. i have made it to today :D now im terrified!! what do i say??

MammaMia 12-03-2008 09:06 PM

*screams*

Now my life is falling apart.
WORST WEEK EVER!

Now I have found out my mum needs me so so so much.
AND I have to move
*sobs*

~*forever_broken*~ 12-03-2008 09:20 PM

*hugs emma and helen*
I'm sorry y'all I can't offer much.

I'm drunk, tired, and still feel like ****. Damn it! I hate seeing my suicide in my mind, be it by the razor or a pill bottle! I just want it to go away! For crying out loud is that too much to ask?

*curls up in her corner of the denial tent for a nap*

MammaMia 12-03-2008 09:27 PM

*lies with blanket and cries and screams and looks after Ally*

effervescence 12-03-2008 09:31 PM

oh helen *hugs* i hate moving, you poor thing! are u ok with helping your mum? is it something you can cope with or do you need to tell someone else who can help you handle it?

effervescence 12-03-2008 09:33 PM

carole! come back! you are just as important as everyone else here. you can throw things if you like, stuff that wont break, like throwing pillows at the walls, if it makes you feel better. im sorry he left you and you're hurting so much you dont deserve to hurt so much becasue of someone else's actions

MammaMia 12-03-2008 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carole (Post 622965)
*disappears into the background as everyone is obviously more important*

Dn't honey, you mean the world to me and I know I haven't been the best person last couple of days....

Quote:

Originally Posted by effervescence (Post 622982)
oh helen *hugs* i hate moving, you poor thing! are u ok with helping your mum? is it something you can cope with or do you need to tell someone else who can help you handle it?

I hate moving even more today. Moved FIVE times already. This is my home and why shold we have to ****ing leve. I wanted to make it to ten years of living here and it gonna happen now :crying: Emma is right in what she said in our phone call, I can't look after her until I'm looking after me...**** it. Even more stress on me now. *cries* I wanna cut but I promised her I wouldnt and I wanna show my mum that I can handle this without resorting to cutting. I'm so ****ing pissed off at my dad, seriously. How on earth am I gonna react tomorrow when I see him. :-( I wish I could throw things in my room but it's already a bomb site!!!

~*forever_broken*~ 12-03-2008 10:36 PM

*hugs Helen and cries with her*
Thanks luv, very much. I'm sorry you've got to move... I understand. I hate moving as well (what normal person likes it? Makes sense that us 'abnormal' folk wouldn't like it either)... And I've got to go home and pack over term break (next week) because my mom and her husband are moving too...
*offers Helen some cocoa and another good hug*

*grabs Carole before she can fade into the background*
Carole hunni, don't go. I'm sorry, I haven't been the bes of support recently either... But we all love you too much for you to fade away on us.
*big snuggles*

Take care all.

MammaMia 12-03-2008 10:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ~*forever_lost*~ (Post 623209)
*hugs Helen and cries with her*
Thanks luv, very much. I'm sorry you've got to move... I understand. I hate moving as well (what normal person likes it? Makes sense that us 'abnormal' folk wouldn't like it either)... And I've got to go home and pack over term break (next week) because my mom and her husband are moving too...
*offers Helen some cocca and another good hug*

Thanks sweetie.
*hugs and cries with you and anyone else*
I'm so sorry too, but Emma told me to look it as a new start for me & my mum.
I dont think anyone likes it.
It's so stressful.
That really sucks sweetie thanks.

Haha Em just rang me again (can't leave me alone aye and she's drunk hehe)

So here's my answer to your task hun...

1. Tina being nice with my honesty.
2. Actually managing to get myself to college.
3. My hearing aids working and having my radio aid fixed.
4. Staying at college all day.
5. Not going to that bridge.

Mehhhhhh :crying: I really wish I belivied that I can get through this.

MammaMia 13-03-2008 12:30 AM

Oh, I don't think I'm going to kill myself, I still am quite low but I'll get through this and I know you guys will be here for me every step of the way? I know Em will espically haha, she keeps ringing me, but I'm totally cool with it XD

Pomegranate 13-03-2008 01:15 AM

hmmm....I keep ringing you Helen because I am worried about you :) and in my opinionm I am doing a famn fine jobn of appearing sober! lol And I mean every word I said. Remember to text or call if you need anything :) xx

*hugs everyone who needs it, especiallU Carole

I am quite drunk lol, I sparked a lighter under a friend of our house mates, Jpohn and he started screwing at me. Why am I so retarded? wHY dont I deal with hitngs like a normal human being>??? *cries in a ball under balnket* xx

Pomegranate 13-03-2008 01:16 AM

Btw....I like your task results :)P Helen x

~*forever_broken*~ 13-03-2008 03:37 AM

*curls in a ball and screams, just a bit*

I hate this! For heaven sake why can't it just go away?!
I want to cut, I want to burn, I want to OD. To put my fist through the living room window. To take my razor to my arm one last time... To take the rest of those pills...
F**kn A! :(

Hamlet had it right... I knew that was my favourite play.

"To die, to sleep-- No more--and by a sleep to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep-- To sleep--perchance to dream"

If only...

And if not, at least let these urges die :crying:

*cries quietly in her corner*

PurpleSmurf 13-03-2008 05:18 AM

*curls up and sighs* i seriously hate people in my life right now can i say that?

Sleepy1 13-03-2008 07:01 AM

here
 
*locks self in the padded room away from the sharp things*

MammaMia 13-03-2008 08:34 AM

*hugs everyone*

Emma, I wasn't being horrible. I love you calling me =]
Carole had a go at me last night, not sure why yet *shrugs*

I'm sooooo let rip at my dad tonight, I think =\

Not looking forward to today, its gonna be hard :(

Jetforce 13-03-2008 09:16 AM

*hugs everbody*

Anybody want some of my sleep? i hate sleeping, slept 15hrs today ugh...stupid me...go away sleep!

Detour. Derail 13-03-2008 11:55 AM

*opens eyes*
*ses its morning..*
*cries*
*accepts some of Jetforces sleep*

Jetforce 13-03-2008 12:13 PM

*hugs Alexx*

Wat's up? y r u crying? :-(


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