Not selfish, Mark. You have a right to feel the way you do and no one should ever tell you differently.
27-12-2010 04:42 PM
*Hugs Kelly* I'm sorry too I've missed that your name was in your signature all this time , I've been calling your Ljmeep , oops :S
27-12-2010 04:50 PM
Hugs back Mark, Oliver and MammaMia. Hugs to everyone else too. We all needem!
27-12-2010 05:00 PM
Thanks Oliver :) To answer yours & Mark's question, I'm ok. How are you both?
27-12-2010 05:17 PM
I'm feeling okay thanks Oliver , Releived to be goingback to my flat tomorrow , being out of my flat is being out of my comfort zone ,I've lived there over 14 months now .
I'm hoping that the couple of weeks I was REALLY low before Christmas was a blip and won't come back , I really hope this feeling okay isn't an upwards blip :S
27-12-2010 05:51 PM
*curls into a ball in the corner*
27-12-2010 05:55 PM
Hey guys. Glad Christmas is all over and done with. Me and my fiance had a row Christmas day in the evening but now everything seems better than ever. I think it was all the festive tension building up. My main Christmas present doesn't actually work so we had to order a different one which won't be here until Friday and I have a lot of cleaning to do this evening so probably won't be about. Hope you're all okay x
27-12-2010 06:06 PM
*Hugs Sam* Whats up Sam?
*Hugs Sarah* I hope your replacement works okay :) I'm glad it's all over too:)
*Sports and Hugs Crimson* How was your holidays Crimson?
27-12-2010 06:09 PM
I wnna si :(
27-12-2010 06:27 PM
Feel invisible lol.
27-12-2010 06:33 PM
Is it sad and pathetic that I'm glad I have work this morning?
The following content has been hidden - Reason : epic fail holiday weekend
It started good enough... I got to leave early thursday morning and was off friday. Mid day friday B, R and M came over we had a gift exchange, dinner, watched a movie, ate popcorn, chitchatted, etc it was nice til MIL got home since she doesn't like them so immediately asked if they were staying *rolls eyes* Then MIL decided at about 9 or 10 pm she was going to take off to go 75 miles away and not bother coming back till 9 pm Christmas night (after we had gotten her and V -who also went- gifts and stockings and tried to make sure we'd have enough food, etc etc.) even G (who is the most spoiled, snotty, attitude problem filled family member usually) declined to go with MIL and V because "christmas is about being with your family and if you already said you'd be here and they got extra stuff for you it's rude to not bother being there" (the kids think family and friends give you presents and santa fills the stockings so even the animals have stockings that get filled with chew toys and the like... typically you only get a stocking if you're there but they got one since we'd already bought the stuff)
The people down stairs fried their TVs and the fire department came up at 330 am Christmas morning to tell us to unplug everything and that they were turning off the electric till the electric people came to see/fix the problem... It was still cold that night... J came by, then C didn't show up till 6 pm when she said she was spending the day with us, then she brought a friend over (that we've met twice) and them M brought 2 friends we'd never met before... MIL and V get back and V just drops **** in the middle of the floor the kids just cleaned up and so my 8 yr old started yelling at her to move it and MIL goes "do you see the way she talks to me? D and Crimson let all the kids talk to me like that all the time!" (yeah, well you see I taught my kids that respect is a 2 way street years ago... they know to get respect you need to give it so since V, G and MIL treat them like crap they give it back. C and M and J have never been "talked to wrong" by my kids because they treat them like people...) then MIL says "that's it I'm leaving" and C says "to where? a guys house?" and MIL gets offended and starts yelling and screaming at her... C tells her "well every time you abandon your family it's to be with some guy" (when more than half of your 6 children -who hate each other- have voiced this it tends to be the truth, just saying) and so MIL yells at her again and slams the door as she leaves (to go to her ex boyfriends house... see above sentiment). V goes after her after berating C for being honest, then comes back upstairs and spends more than an hour sitting in the middle of the living room floor looking like a beaten dog... at 630 am the next day my 4 yr old started throwing up... she was sick all of yesterday... she was getting upset with everyone being assholes xmas day so I think she got stressed out and thats why she was sick but everyone else thinks it was a virus that magically no one else we know has *rolls eyes* ah yes and T was back on leave from Afghanistan and was supposed to be over with his wife L on Christmas day but didn't come by till yesterday and then only stayed 10 minutes... *sigh*
All in all the day was bad enough D was considering when we move not telling them where our new house is and just inviting B, R and M over xmas eve and J, S and E over xmas day since they won't **** it up for the rest of us... And the reason that's really sad is that it is HIS FAMILY! All of them are -except B, R and M... but they're such close friends they're practically family and are better than the blood family- Our best xmas of our relationship was just me, D, our older 2 and that year we just had us and one present for each kid and a small dinner. I miss being broke and having nothing -to include extra family members polluting my space-
Ah yes and I almost forgot the hour or so C and G argued over if G's clothing was appropriate or just made her a slut, skank or ho depending on the portion of the conversation...
the best part of the weekend was showing the kids 'house fairy' and getting them excited to clean up their room. we went through and got a bag of toys ready to donate and got an entire other bag of trash cleared out then cleaned up and put all the legos and lincoln logs in their bin and everything else tidy including their snow pants (that M said she'd get them 4 months ago) and coats hung up... they want to keep their room clean so they can get a visit and surprise from the house fairy. :)
27-12-2010 06:36 PM
*hugs Hels* you aren't invisible, love :)
*hugs Mark* ...see the humongous post above to answer your question... though after typing it all out I do feel a bit better...
*waves at sam (?)* anything you can do to distract yourself?
how is everyone?
27-12-2010 06:47 PM
PS~ I love chocolate covered sunflower seeds! I got myself a big container for 60% off because it was in a Christmas tree shaped bottle!
27-12-2010 07:07 PM
xXDyingSoulXx, I'm sorry you want to si right now... you're not alone! <3
It's Ok, Mark, I'm ok with either ljmeep or Kelly. :)
MammaMia, promise you are not invisable *hugs*
*hugs solo back*... :) finally got a little of that quiet time I've been beggin' for... wasn't 100% quiet, but it was much more than I expected to get.
27-12-2010 07:26 PM
*Hugs Sam* I'm sorry you have urges , could you put on some music to ditract yourself?
*Hugs Helen* You are not invisible Hun .
*Hugs Crimson* I'm sorry you had such a **** holiday period , people can be asses , to put it polite(ish)ly.
27-12-2010 07:26 PM
thanks guys :) <3 Im llistening to music to try to not do it.
27-12-2010 07:34 PM
I hope the music helps :)
27-12-2010 07:45 PM
27-12-2010 08:02 PM
*Hugs Nicole* How are you Hun?
27-12-2010 08:04 PM
*hugs mark* I'm ok, but very triggerd :( 5 days since i last self harm, i had gone back to self harming everyday so i'm really proud of that, but the urge gets stronger everyday i dont cut :(