Well that IS true about me... not you... but me... I AM a lame excuse for a human. (My name is Amanda btw... but don't worry about forgetting it... I'm bad with names too)

Sorry Amanda =)
And I may not know you well, but I get the impression you're far from the lame human being you think you are.

*attempts to smile... a weak... half smile is all that can be mustered* thanks Ku. That means a lot.

you are NOT a lame excuse for a human being manda! you're NOT! *cuddles lots*

and Ku, you're lovely too!

*starts to cry on Jess' shoulder, but makes herself stop*
sorry...

A half smile is better than no smile at all :)
We're both right hun, you'll see that one day.
Don't stop yourself crying if you need to cry...
And Jess...thank you.

*cuddles amanda and pets lots* you can cry on me sweetheart, i'm good for that :)

Ku honey... i'll keep telling you till you don't need to hear it anymore *cuddles*

but I don't know why I am crying... almost crying for no reason... I shouldn't be crying, I should be happy... this is so stupid!!!!

^ everyone should be happy hun. sadly it doesn't work like that, and everyone's allowed to cry, whether there's a reason or not. it's a good release *cuddles*
*cuddles jess* you're ace, thank you. i keep saying that, but i mean it =)

*nods*
Jess is AWESOME!!!

crying is okay! you don't need a reason!

ha... or not >.<

Ku, you're lovely. You really and truly are! *pets lots*

*cuddles amanda* cry away sweetheart

you are!
honestly.
*hugs to both*

uhh... no. Anyways.


*hugs back*

jess IS awesome *nod*
she give me kitties :)
lol
<3

*giggles*

i'm nto aweome. i'm just me *nods*

*hugs everyone*

You are right Jess... you are you
and YOU ARE AWESOME!!!

I'm learning that it is okay to need others. It isn't easy though, esp since I raised my mom and my sis.

Got up early cause the guys to fix our bathroom ceiling were due early. They got here an hour late. Ceiling is fixed and the paint is a good match.

*hugs everyone*

*hugs jess back*
:)
me likey hugs.

*pokes head out of her corner*
Still here, still alive, still feeling awful... Trying to decide between an OD and cutting... Think the cutting wins 'cause when it's been a while since I've ODd... Well it doesn't feel all that great, I can't even describe it...
*ignores the OTC pain reliever and looks for her blades*

*snuggles* take care lovie?
pm if you want

*curls up in corner and pokes stomach*

hmm. cut or OD. cut or OD. hmmm.
i don't know either.
it's tricky.
cutting is actually probably the safest for me right now. so. do i want to be safe? hmmm. tricky indeed.

it... consumes... my... every... thought

Please make it stop!!!!!!!!!

i dont think i'm safe.
why do they give me all these pills at once. they should know they're just tempting me

do you have somone who could take you pills for you? please don't OD hunny take care (as much as you can)

I KNOW! DOn't do EITHER! Guys... you know that cutting and/or oding wont make you feel better... ultimately you'll just feel worse and then you'll do it again. It's a vicious cycle. Please... be safe all of you. *gathers everyone together and gives you all a big hug* you guys are all so wonderful. *hugs lots and pets lots* you CAN do this! you CAN!

*gives everyone a big hug*

Sorry I haven't been around much recently guys, all in all I've been pretty useless, so I kept away for a bit. I'm sorry you're all struggling at the moment, and I wish I could help but I've really really got too much going on at the moment to be of much use to anyone right now, so I think I'll just stay and lurk until everything's either passed over or I can actually consider dealing with it all properly.

Sorry again guys.

*goes back to hiding*

Jeff wanted me to let you know that he is still among the living. He needs some time to himself to sort some stuff out.

I'm off to get showered and dressed etc. To subdue my beauty so I don't intimidate anyone else.

Blank. Absolutely blank. I just read my copy of the formal complaint I made to the Uni in regards to my ass of a 2nd year ASL teacher and felt... Absolutely nothing. Found I'd actually forgotten some of the details of the incident, which kind of suprised me...
Hmm, don't know... I'll stop now as I seem to be unable to put a coherent sentence together...

Ugh, I feel so stupid...

*Hugs everyone who wants one*
Feeling terribly suicidal.

*cuddles Zowie*
I'm sorry luv, please try to stay safe... (sorry am not of much use atm)

Um..... Have any of you found that Jeffs posts are gone from your thread(s)? :-(

*curls up in her corner for a nap*

*sits in her corner, knees drawn to chest, arms wrapped around knees, and crys*
:crying:

I hadn't noticed about Jeff's posts. He sent me a little message letting me know he is alive and has asked me to let you know. Please, give him the time and space he needs.

Me, i'm back to the caffeine gum.

Hugs all around.

*rocks ever so slightly in her corner, still crying*
Where is everyone..?

*hugs you* sorry sweetie, don't know where anyone else is, and I'm pretty useless at the moment, but I'm around if you need.

bleh.

*hugs* sup horseridinbbe?

i dont feel well but i barely had anything/have to go out for dinner, yuckage.
how be you

*hugs*
I'm... not quite sure how I am to be honest, kind of ill, and my head's kind of messed up... 'swhy I've been lurking for a bit, but feeling better tonight than I have for a while.

hope you feels better x

Not useless dear...
And thankyou, but there's nothing to do about it...

*just checkin in*

i hate myself

*hugs LJ*
what's up hun?

*hugs for everyone*

Sorry y'all, I'm shut for support today, but I love you guys.

*sits in her corner and crys*

**************** I can't do this anymore *cries* I can't help him. Hell I can't help myself right now. damn.

i just can't do it anymore, i fight and fight and screw up anyway, i cant stop SI its not even hurting anymore i am screwed up everything is screwed up can i let go yet?

I feel so.... strange....
everything is going in slow motion around me...
my heart and breathing feels really slow...
even my thoughts ... are... going... in.... slow.... motion....
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???!!!!!

i have *hugs* thats all ihave right now i am so sorry