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-   -   Virtual Psych ward! (https://www.recoveryourlife.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1312)

ljmeep 29-12-2010 12:57 AM

Understand completely, crimson...
*hugs all back*
I'm in agreement w/ crimson, oliver... shouldn't u getting some sleep be a goos thing?

*yawns and stretches then searchs for pillow & blanket*

shadowedsoul 29-12-2010 12:57 AM

curls up in corner

MammaMia 29-12-2010 01:00 AM

I also agree that sleep is a good thing, maybe she was concerned that you hadn't been in touch or something Oliver? Otherwise I can't see why she'd get stressed that you were asleep :S

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 01:15 AM

well I saw her this morning and she was ringing about somenew meds she had rang up to get, but apparently I wasn't allowed to sleep in the day, even though I had only had 7 hours sleep in 4 nights, but I had to stay awake even though I was soooooooooo shattered, I just couldn't stay awake, one minute on my laptop, next minute its two hours later and my mobile is ringing.

*hugs Crimson* I understand th lack of motivation, thats a good way of getting your work done setting a timer.

*hugs Helen* how are you?

*hugs Kelly* how are you?

*hugs everyone else*

ljmeep 29-12-2010 01:36 AM

*hugs oliver back* sorry 'bout the lack of sleep.. I'm going off 3 hrs in the past like 36 plus hrs right now... I'm exhausted, but can't sleep... spent all night in ER w/ prego SIL (all is fine w/ her and baby now) ... hubby's sucking up and wants sex and I'm ready to run for cover...

how 'bout you? Aside from the shattered part... are you holding in there?

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 01:41 AM

*hugs Kelly*
I'm not doing great, wish I could sleep now its nearly 2am, plus I'm really suicidal and staying with my family for 3 weeks means no privacy and constantly being told I'm lazy and my mum moans about the fact I see the crisis team so often, want to be back in manchester in my flat.
the crisis team lady keeps suggesting I should be admitted to hospital and I sort of want that, but cos I'm with my family I don't want to go

ljmeep 29-12-2010 01:52 AM

*hugs oliver* Hun, your health and safety are WAY more important than what your family may think. Please hold in there... you should go in if that's what makes you feel the safest. Please remember that you are NOT alone and that there are lots of ppl here who really care about you and would be shattered if we lost you.

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 01:55 AM

thanks Kelly *hugs*
I just have major issues about not hurting, upsetting other people, I'll do everything to protect others, hurting myself though isn't a problem, I just can't hrt others cos I know how horrible it is only too well

ljmeep 29-12-2010 02:07 AM

I can relate to that feeling. I wish I had the magic cure... unfortunately all I have is this site and the power of prayer... I really hope that's enough to send you some strength and love enough to feel better... even if it's only a tiny bit.

"the hardest battle we will ever fight is the battle against ourself"

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 02:15 AM

thanks, just wish I could change it, I just don't want to hurt them, especially my sister she has exams in jan, she needs to do well, I caused her to not do great in her exams in summer when she didn't take me coming out at all well, I feel so guilty just wish I could be a good person and not keep on causing crap

ljmeep 29-12-2010 02:22 AM

you ARE a good person! don't ever forget that, oliver. Your sis loves you and cares more about you than a bunch of exams I'm sure. I know I do! *hugs tight*

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 02:25 AM

thanks Kelly *hugs* how you doing?

ljmeep 29-12-2010 02:32 AM

really tired, but can't sleep... my boys r driving me nuts & the baby is really cranky. I'm trying to hold in threr til i can sleep
:/

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 02:35 AM

*hugs* it sucks when you can't sleep. How old are your boys and baby? sounds hectic in your house I don't envey you, just try to keep going and stay strong

MammaMia 29-12-2010 02:35 AM

*hugs Oliver and Kelly*

Oliver, I'm ok, just getting tired again, might try sleep soon :S

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 02:38 AM

*hugs helen* I'm at last starting to get sleepy too, so may try sleeping in a bit.

MammaMia 29-12-2010 02:44 AM

*hugs Oliver* I hope you manage some sleep. I'm sorry your family isn't being so understanding. If you think hospital would be the best option for you, then please follow it up?

ljmeep 29-12-2010 02:45 AM

my boys are 5 and 3 and the baby (a girl) is 7 months :) ... it is hectic, but in a good way. I love being a mom.

Sleep sounds like a good thing for you.. *tucks Oliver in*

Sweet dreams :) ... please check in later to let me know you're still ok.

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 02:51 AM

*hugs helen and kelly*
I'm glad you like being a mum kelly. I could never have kids, just isn't me, could never be a father really.

I'm going to finish listening to the archers, another 25mins then tuck down.

thanks Helen, I know hospital could be a good answer, I've been worse than I am but I'm in an impulsive way at the moment and so i suddenly do things. meh dont know what is best.
I hope you manage to sleep soon

ljmeep 29-12-2010 02:57 AM

*hugs oliver again* I hope you get some good sleep and make the right choice for you... be that hospital or not. :)

*hugs Helen* sorry...didn't see your hug sooner... I tend to miss things when I'm tired ... lol

ˈsäləˌterē 29-12-2010 03:03 AM

*hugs all around*

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 03:08 AM

*hugs Kelly* thanks

*hugs solo* how are you?

ljmeep 29-12-2010 03:17 AM

*hugs solo too*... ah hell *GROUP HUG!* lol ... solo's been keepin me sain since i popped on :)

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 03:19 AM

*joins group hug*

Now the archers has finished I should tuck down, but i'm so scared, I hate this my heart is racing at the thought of turning the laptop off and no distraction from my thoughts and the pain

ˈsäləˌterē 29-12-2010 03:23 AM

Thanks for the hugs Oliver n Kelly! This place is a hug fest! Glad I can help to preserve your sanity. I've actually had a really crappy day Oliver, but thanks for askin. Just stay on till ya fall asleep if ya like. We'll tuck ya in n give ya a plushie when ya drift off.

ljmeep 29-12-2010 03:30 AM

Yeah.. stick with us till u drift off... if zzzz's start coming across the screen... we'lll just cover u up to keep u toasty warm and safe and gaurd u to keep out those bad thoughts *stands gaurd and threatens to kick ass of any bad thoughts!*

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 03:32 AM

* hugs solo and kelly* sorry to hear you've had a crappy day solo.

Yep I think I'll be on for a bit longer, I just find it so pathetic that I can't even turn my laptop off, that I'm even too scared to do that, feel stupid

ljmeep 29-12-2010 03:37 AM

don't feel stupid... i've been like that for most of the day... just ask solo... i had to keep on here to keep from SIing.... no shame!

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 03:41 AM

thanks kelly, I just feel I don't know really, just scared i guess and anxious, dont want the next day to come and if I sleep it definetly will.

ljmeep 29-12-2010 03:45 AM

yes, but w/ sleep u will be better equipt to handle it. I find things seem much worse than they actually r when ur sleep deprived and it sounds like you definently are.

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 03:50 AM

yeah I know, just wish I didn't have stupid insomnia *hugs* thanks for talking to me

ljmeep 29-12-2010 03:55 AM

any time... that's what friends r for... none of us should be expected to go it alone... and so we r here among the safety of friends and ppl who care about us and accept us just as we r. :)

*hums to self and baby (my daughter is fightin' sleep) and oliver in hopes that he will feel safe enough to sleep* <3

ˈsäləˌterē 29-12-2010 03:58 AM

Don't feel stupid Olie! May I call you Olie? I stay on here till I can't read the words without closin one eye n squintin the other n I'm Fallon off my chair. That's what we're here for.

Take your own advise Kelly. It's good!

frenchhorn 29-12-2010 04:03 AM

thanks kelly and solo. I don't like Oli, sorry can you call me Oliver please.

I think I'm going to try and sleep, getting to the stage where I keep drifting off while looking at the screen.
Thanks both, hope you both get some sleep, if its night time, no idea what time it is for either of you!
*hugs both*

ljmeep 29-12-2010 04:07 AM

eh... sometimes it's hard to follow ur own advice ... i try... *yawn* I think i may need to fall out soon :)

misskitty112 29-12-2010 04:10 AM

*hugs ward*
i'm heading to bed soon too.

risenfromperdition 29-12-2010 05:46 AM

*snuggles felicia*

ljmeep 29-12-2010 05:51 AM

*has escaped to padded cell until I feel more safe in my own skin... will return to psych ward tomorrow*

SoMuchMore 29-12-2010 06:24 AM

I'm sorry so many are struggling right now. *cuddles all tightly*

risenfromperdition 29-12-2010 06:31 AM

*snuggles laura*
The following content has been hidden - Reason : triggering


gah. love how my brother can have ramen at 2:30 am, but if i want to have a small snack cuz i wasnt really hungry all day at 12:30... omg never. not allowed
>.>
and then i send that to my friend on fb chat via my ipod... not realising that since internet froze, i gave my father back his computer and he didnt close off facebook and it unfroze... so he read it. I come back downstairs and all he says is that 'you should be careful what you type when i have the computer in front of me' [because he and mum both said essentially i wasnt allowed to have toast... hah] not 'oh im sorry, i didnt realise that i upset you by what i said' or 'oh sorry, i'll try not to say stuff like that again' ... GAH.

nowdontwannaeateveragain ><

Kahlia1981 29-12-2010 09:34 AM

*huggles all*

quickly sneaking in while I can.

just want to run awy right now

don't want to be here anymore
sooner i can disappear the better
so damn over it all

when does the **** evetr end?

Disturbia 29-12-2010 09:43 AM

Morning * waves*


Doikers 29-12-2010 10:50 AM

*Hugs Oliver*
*Hugs Kahlia*
*Hugs Sarah* BLUE Hair! how cool :)
*Hugs Kelly*
*Hugs Helen*
*Hugs Crimson*
*Hugs Jill*
*Hugs Solo*
*Hugs Felicia*
*Hugs Heather*
*Hugs Laura*
*Hugs Willow*

Hows everyone this morning ? I hope everyone slept / is sleeping well :)

one_step_closer 29-12-2010 12:15 PM

Afternoon.

I feel like I need to overdose today because it is the last chance that I will get in a while because my brother is at home to look after the cats. I need this.

Doikers 29-12-2010 12:31 PM

*Hugs Lindsay* I'm sorry you feel the need to OD Hun , I know I sound like a broken record but could you try distracting yourself at all , Upbeat music ,Light hearted T.V. , Go for a walk if the weathers decent where you are ?

one_step_closer 29-12-2010 12:40 PM

I don't really want to distract myself because this is something that I feel I need to do. If I don't do it I will totally regret it because I won't have the chance to OD again for a while.

Doikers 29-12-2010 12:44 PM

Please be careful Lindsay , I know the feeling of wanting to do somthing self destructive and it's oh so hard to resist , *Squishes*

one_step_closer 29-12-2010 01:23 PM

Thanks Mark, I will try hard to fight this.

How are you?

shadowedsoul 29-12-2010 01:45 PM

hugs all. erm here is me thinking life couldnt bring me down anymore. haha how wrong iam i. iam really struggling right now want to die so much. worse part is i have got the stuff i need to do it. really struggling not to. curls up in corner and hides.

MammaMia 29-12-2010 01:54 PM

Lindsay, please try not to do it. I know you feel you'll regret it if you don't do it. But it's a good thing if you don't. You know this deep down sweetheart. I know you love your brother and your cats and us lot here. Please try stay strong honey? We're on your side and fighting with you. I know it's really hard, especially when you want to do it so badly. But it won't make things any better. I can promise you that. I'm sure you already know this thought. Sorry this is such a rubbish post but wanted to show that I'm listening and I care too xxxx


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